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This was all Severus Snape’s fault. James wasn’t sure how, but he knew it was. No one aside from his infuriating, kind-of friend with incredible benefits could ruin his day quite like this. Well.. it was Severus or it was the stray spell that had hit him in the back during his Auror training the day before, but James was more inclined to believe it was that sexy slimy git. At the time James had thought nothing of it, in fact he’d been smug that he was heading home early, was even encouraged by his supervisor to rest up. It had been a few gruelling weeks of flinging himself out of the way of spells and running as if his life depended on it for what amounted to pretty dire pay, and he was going to enjoy his (poorly) paid afternoon off. And really, if that wasn’t an indication of the piss poor state of the ministry James wasn’t sure what was, he was only making ends meet due to his status as sole heir to some pretty hefty generational wealth. Anyway, he’d smirked at Sirius as he left, a spring in his step and a song in his heart as he gathered up his things before he sent a patronus to Severus and invited him over for a little afternoon delight.
James had been ecstatic when Sev had come over on his lunch break, draped him over the dining table and eaten him out until he was sobbing. He’d lain there afterwards, boneless and sated with a dopey smile on his face while Severus had unbuttoned his trousers and pulled out his long, pale cock. He’d watched, mouth watering as the flushed pink head disappeared inside a tight fist, clear precum beading and running down the swollen glans. James had mustered enough energy to beckon Severus closer, watching with hooded eyes as his cock bobbed with each step. James opened his mouth wide enough for him to slide right into his throat, tongue lolling over his bottom lip and teasing the raised veins of the girthy shaft forcing its way past his lips. Drool pooled underneath the thick length, some slipping down his cheeks, the rest running down his throat, forcing him to swallow around the fat tip. James had loosely grasped at Severus’ robes to pull him in closer, relishing the stretch of his lips and pressing his nose firmly into his perineum. Later, Severus had rolled his eyes at James’ smirk when he’d lasted only a few minutes before spilling down his throat, groaning low and grasping at the table edge for balance.
James had only been slightly forlorn when Severus tucked himself away and disapparated back to work, an excuse about a tenuous potion thrown carelessly over his shoulder. James had hidden his pout as any self respecting booty call would, refusing to give any indication that he was hoping to spend his afternoon off coming until he couldn’t come anymore. However, Severus was the entirety of the first few pages of James’ little black book and he was mindful of avoiding causing too much annoyance to the easily irritated man. Was it surprising and embarrassing that James was so obsessed with slimy Severus Snape? Yes, perhaps it was, but really! Who’d have thought that such thin lips could be so talented, that such a sharp tongue could bring him to previously unknown heights of pleasure? How was he to know that Severus Snape would be a sex pest of the highest order? A generous lover with (usually) excellent stamina and an even better refractory period? Merlin, James was only human after all! What was he to do? Not sleep with him?
And, if he could further his own defence, no matter how talented Severus was with his tongue and mouth and those long fingers and his surprisingly thick - well regardless of how talented Severus was, James was a young wizard in his prime and he deserved to experience copious amounts of incredible sex before he was too old and creaky to properly enjoy it! It wasn’t as if he didn’t keep his options open! He had no intention of being tied down to one person just yet. He was perfectly happy being casual with Severus and had absolutely no issues with Severus sowing his wild oats as James certainly did too, thank you very much! He definitely wasn’t in the habit of turning up to Severus’ little run down flat and cock blocking him whenever he had a free moment. He certainly never did his best to wear Severus out and ruin him for other people so he wouldn’t go looking elsewhere. Why? Because James had not one problem with sharing Severus Snape with whomever had the stomach to look past how unpleasant the man was for long enough to be bent over and buggered into oblivion. Put him under veritaserum, he’d no doubt say the same thing.
In conclusion, James was a young, attractive wizard with needs and Severus Snape was one of (a very) many bed partners that helped him scratch an itch. If Severus was much more… thorough than the others? If James crawled back into Severus’ bed more than any other? If Severus was the only lover that had caused James to reach a peak so high he swore he’d seen Merlin himself? Well, he needn’t know it, nor did anyone else for that matter.
James’ afternoon sexcapades with Severus after a morning of brisk training and exercise had completely worn him out and he’d decided that he was entitled to a chippy and a nap, in that order. When he awoke, the sun had long set and his bladder was full to bursting, which had led him to discover his unusual predicament.
And so, James couldn't help cursing Severus’ name, the clear harbinger of all evil in his life, as he gazed down at where his penis should be. Where it definitely was mere hours ago, when Severus had made him come so hard, a spurt of it had caught the underside of his chin, much to the acerbic man’s amusement. James blinked frantically, as if his most prized extremity would magically reappear if he cleared nonexistent debris from his eyes. Maybe he was still dreaming? Yes, he probably was having a very intense, lucid dream. He’d had dreams like this in the past, though they usually involved much more sweat slicked bodies sliding together and moaning and groaning, and far less existential crisis. James looked to the ceiling before he raised a hand and pinched his arm as hard as he could, yelping loudly as pain bloomed across his skin. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and then looked down hopefully, heart sinking when his cock was still absent. Not dreaming then.
James fisted his t-shirt in his hand and yanked it up to his armpits, uncaring of the trousers and underwear piled in a heap around his ankles. He brought a shaky hand down to pet at the expected thatch of dark hair on his groin. His knees buckled as soon as his fingers slipped lower, sliding across labia that shouldn’t be there. James stumbled backwards and braced himself against the sink, hooking his chin over his ruched up top and pressing his hand against his mouth to smother his panicked whimpers while the other stayed firmly between his legs, tracing out his new anatomy.
A fresh wave of panic had James lurching up from the sink, tripping out of his discarded clothes and summoning a small hand mirror. He snatched his wand, cast a quiet wingardium and tossed it back onto the counter behind him, sliding a hand under his thigh and yanking it up so he could get a good look between his legs. His nose scrunched to keep his glasses from slipping down his nose as he gaped down at the reflection in the floating mirror, taking in his distinct lack of cock and balls.
James was privileged enough to have been between the legs of many witches and wizards and he could confidently say that he had appreciated each and every sex he’d had the pleasure of putting his mouth on. His expertise meant that he could admit objectively, that he had a very pretty pussy sitting between his thick thighs, although it was causing him a shocking amount of scare-rousal (shocking because James hadn’t been aware that he could feel more than that time he’d bottomed for a centaur back in seventh year. Equal parts incredible and petrifying, he hadn’t been able to comfortably ride his broom for a week! Completely worth it). He watched - with both arousal and alarm - as his shaky fingers parted his (his!!!) labia. A fat, pink clit peeked out, framed by James’ thick fingers, and he bit back a (horrified? horny?) gasp. Before his brain could catch up his fingers slid over it exploringly, making him jolt with a hiss as sharp pleasure arced through his core. James’ grip on his thigh loosened with surprise, as he clenched deep inside in response, a gush of slick seeping out and wetting his fingers. That was good.
Before he could change his mind James abandoned the mirror, stumbling out of the bathroom and scrambling onto his bed, stripping off his t-shirt and throwing it in the vague direction of the hamper. His chest heaved as he ran his hands down it, gasping as he brushed his fingers over sensitive nipples. His eyes slipped closed as he allowed his fingers to trail even lower; over his stomach, across his hips until they were brushing against his pubic hair. James took a deep breath in and then allowed his fingers to slip lower, gasping as they gently traced over his clit. The pleasure was different to what he was used to, so sharp and intense. His core tightened in response, forcing more sticky slick out of his hole and soaking his sex. James let his fingers dip down minutely, slipping the tip of his index finger into himself and groaning as the wetness coated it before bringing it back up to circle his clit. He moaned at the assisted glide and eagerly eased the tips of his index and middle fingers inside, gathering up more slick. He framed his clit between his fingers, squeezing gently and shuddering as he felt pleasure dance across his skin, tightening his nipples and forcing pants out of his gaping mouth.
He let the feeling guide his fingers, rubbing gentle circles over his clit and gasping out his pleasure, fingertips slipping down frequently to gather more slick. His movements steadily got faster, wetness coating his inner thighs as he hurtled towards orgasm, clenching hard and gushing out gummy slick with every pass of his calloused fingers over his swollen clit. He gave up on muffling his cries, gasping and moaning as he crested higher and higher, so close to coming that he could taste it. His mouth felt dry and too wet at the same time, drool slipping out of the corner of his mouth as he panted out his pleasure. James plucked at his nipples with his free hand, humming at the intoxicating mix of pleasure/pain, hips shifting in sharp circles as he got closer and closer and -
A sharp cry left his mouth as he came, a small gush of slick forcing its way past his tightly clenching hole. James helplessly kept rubbing his clit chasing the pleasure until the oversensitivity pushed past pleasure and firmly into pain. Even as he panted at the ceiling, his soaked hand cupping his sex, he continued to pulse and clench around nothing. As the aftershocks eased off James let his fingers wander, exploring his pussy. A gentle brush over his clit had him jolting up so he avoided it, instead pushing one thick finger against his hole. It greedily sucked the digit inside, clenching around it firmly. James gasped and pushed inside further, rubbing along the soft ridges. He pulled out slowly and pushed two in together, whimpering as the heel of his palm brushed against his tingling clit. He couldn’t help but fuck his fingers inside himself more firmly, searching out the sensitive bundle of nerves that had so many witches thrashing on his fingers. He stroked along it, pressing his palm more firmly against his clit and jolted as he clenched down around his fingers, another gush of slick pushing past his fingers and running down his taint to pool between his ass and the bed. James whimpered and fucked himself faster, harder, chasing the pleasure, blushing at the wet schluk, schluk sounds permeating the bedroom with each pass of his fingers. His palm pressed firmly against his clit every time he shoved all the way inside himself, causing him to clench hard and try to suck his fingers in deeper. Tears ran into his hair and his head thrashed as he climbed higher and higher, closer and closer to the peak of his orgasm. It was intense, more intense than before, his clit throbbing with every clench of his sex and every press of his palm, his whimpers increasing in pitch and volume with every thrust as he inched closer and closer until -
James came again with a hoarse shout, shoving his fingers inside one last time and pressing hard against his clit, whimpering as he clenched firmly around his fingers, an arc of slick pushing past them and soaking his sheets. He lay there, thighs spread and twitching, fingers buried as deep into his clenching pussy as possible, his wrist and forearm aching from overuse and.. Well. All he could think about past the static was..
Would Severus’ cock feel better in his pussy or in his ass?
James should find out. For research purposes.