Chapter Text
It started with a text.
From: 0280652
I’m so sorry Cochise
Make that two.
From: 0280652
I didn’t think it would go down like that
Was there a name for the emotion Chris was feeling at the moment? He didn’t think so. No one word could accurately describe how confused, shocked, relieved, and irate he was.
Could he trust the unknown person in his hand? Was it alright for him to think this was Josh? Or was this just some asshole fucking with him? He needed to know for sure then, maybe, sleep would return to him.
To: 0280652
Who is this?
It wasn’t eloquent, but it got the point across. And that’s all he really needed.
From: 0280652
It’s Josh
Long time no text bro
Shit, shit, shit. This couldn’t be real. There was no way this was real! Josh couldn’t be texting him! Josh was –
To: 0280652
You’re missing. The police said you were officially declared dead last fucking week.
Three months had passed in fruitless searching for Josh on the Mountain. Josh’s parents had lost hope by two months. They couldn’t have their hearts torn to shreds again. But Chris just couldn’t give up. Whether it be from worry or guilt or some other form of self-deprecation, Chris refused to let the search parties disband. Josh couldn’t be dead. Josh deserved better than to be abandoned on a lonely mountain. But soon after the three month mark, Mr. and Mrs. Washington took Chris aside and told him it was time. Time to stop. Time to give up the ghost of his best friend.
From: 0280652
This awesome old man found me wandering around in the mines
So… SURPRISE I guess???
Surprise?
To: 0280652
SURPRISE?! JOSH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR THREE MONTHS! I WENT BACK TO THAT STUPID MONSTER-INFESTED SNOW HILL TO SEARCH FOR YOU! FOR THREE. FUCKING. MONTHS. AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS SURPRISE?! I’VE BEEN MOURNING YOU YOU ASSWIPE! I WENT TO YOUR FUCKING FUNERAL!THEY PUT A GODDAMNED EMPTY CASKET IN THE GROUND! YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU DON’T KNOW HOW SHIT THAT FEELS JOSH AND YOU’VE WAITED FOR SO FUCKING LONG TO SAY SURPRISE?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
The reply was immediate.
From: 0280652
Sorry
Dammit. Chris had said too much. It had felt good typing his frustrations out, but now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. He had gone too far. Hannah and Beth shouldn’t have been brought into this, no matter how roundabout their mention had been.
Before he could type an apology, another text came.
From: 0280652
I thought you’d be happy to know I was okay. Sorry. I should’ve thought this out. I’m sorry Cochise
Drip.
Chris wiped his eyes, his hand coming back wet. Shit. When had he started crying?! He touched his cheeks, looked down – his shirt was soaked with a spattering of wet patches. His breath hitched before he could do anything and that was it. He lost himself for several minutes sobbing – too overwhelmed with such strong emotions to do anything else. Josh was alive and Chris was so ecstatic, so grateful that he hadn’t lost his best friend again.
He tried to make sure he didn’t come off like he usually did (i.e. an idiot) with his reply.
To: 0280652
YOU IDIOT OF COURSE I’M HAPPY SO HAPPY YOU HAVE ME BAWLING ON MY BED AND SPOONING A PILLOW BRO JOSH I’M SO FUCKING GLAD YOU’RE OKAY YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW
Good job, Fleiss.
From: 0280652
Haha damn Cochise I didn’t think you’d react like that
Uh oh. Chris knew the feeling beginning to stir in his gut. Josh was going into a “low”. He wanted to try and cheer Josh up if he could, but that was hard to do through texts. Josh had always been prone to having lows, but they became more severe when he thought about his sisters or when someone showed him true affection. He doubted everyone, typically for good reason, but when it was Chris or Sam his doubt ran at his highest.
Josh had told him once, during an anxiety attack, that he thought Chris and Sam should just leave him behind. That they were too good to be held down by someone like him. “I’m so fucked up, Cochise,” he’d said. He thought he was too broken to be considered anything other than a psycho. “Sometimes I just hate when you guys praise me or care about me because I know I don’t deserve something like that,” he’d sobbed into Chris’ shoulder, “I just don’t get it!”
But Josh did deserve it. And so much more, in Chris’ opinion. Josh was a sweet, beautiful young man with soulful eyes that held all of his burdens and fears behind a mesmerizing shade of blue-gray.
So Chris had stopped showing his affection through speech. Instead he showed it through gestures: good night and check-up texts, pizza in the late hours of the night when Josh couldn’t sleep, letting Josh use him as a pillow when he finally could.
To: 0280652
You know if it’d been you you’d be just as psyched to get a text from me saying ‘sup mr. Joshington’.
From: 0280652
Yeah true. But I would’ve been out the door driving up by now
Chris smiled into his pillow. He’d give Josh that.
To: 0280652
Granted but my limbs are too jelly to move right now. Bright and early tomorrow morning, I’m coming to take you home!
He was already starting to doze off, his eyelids heavy and drooping. He’d been on a rollarcoaster of emotions for the past forty-five minutes. His brain wanted a break.
Josh’s next text read:
From: 0280652
You can’t Cochise. Don’t come up here
That made Chris sit up straight in a second.
To: 0280652
What do you mean don’t come up here? You want to come home right?
What could Josh be thinking?! Anyone would want to return home after being trapped in a mine and stuck on a freezing mountain top for three months.
From: 0280652
I mean yeah but not right now?
To: 0280652
That’s a ‘no’ to most people Josh. What’s wrong? Are you in danger? You’re safe right?? I know awesome old man is awesome, but everyone has off days. You are okay, right??
From: 0280652
I’m fine geez mom
Victor (the awesome old man) has been teaching me how to trap those things
The wendigoes
To: 0280652
I’m driving up tomorrow. You’re not doing that.
From: 0280652
No Cochise. It’s not safe here right now
To: 0280652
Then why are you choosing to stay up there?!
From: 0280652
Because I need to. I need to figure out somethings before I come back
Chris growled at his phone. Why was Josh so stubborn sometimes?!
To: 0280652
I get that you need to work through some stuff Josh. I really do. But why can’t you do it at home where you’ll be safe?
From: 0280652
Because Hannah’s not at home
Shit. She was still alive? How? The house went down in flames. Every wendigo in the place should have burnt with it.
To: 0280652
Then that’s even more of a reason, Josh!
Mike told us what happened
She took you Josh!
Please bro? Can you just do this for me?
From: 0280652
I’m sorry Cochise, I can’t yet. And you can’t come here. I should have never brought you or Sam or anyone up here again
Chris didn’t know what to say. Aside from when Josh first texted him, the Mountain Incident hadn’t actually been brought to the forefront of conversation. Chris didn’t want to think about it. Sure, he had been terrified out of his mind and his life had been in danger, but when he thought he had ripped his best friend in half with a saw blade… something inside him had snapped. He had broken something in his mind and he feared nothing could put it back together.
The buzzing of his phone called him back from the depths of the rabbit hole.
From: 0280652
Look, I’ll text you again soon okay? I’ve got to get ready for the day. Pretty please don’t tell anyone about this? About me?
Especially Sam??
It was three in the morning. Since when could Josh-fucking-Washington function properly before noon? Or was he having the same problem as Chris: where sleep was rarer than catching a legendary with a Regular Pokeball?
To: 0280652
What wait Josh!
Don’t leave yet bro wtf
Why can’t I tell anyone?
Josh?
JOSH
… dammit, Josh, just please be careful okay? Promise?
From: 0280652
Promise, Cochise
Chris watched his phone like a hawk for the next half hour. Waiting – hoping Josh would say something again. But by 5 a.m. Chris had given up, deciding a nice long, hot shower might be a nice idea to relieve some of his stress and clean himself up after all of the crying he had done.
He waited. For a text, an emoji, anything.
But he wouldn’t get a text from Josh for another month.