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“Absolutely not,” Taehyung said. “Jiminie would kill you and then I would be sad.”
“That's right,” Jimin said, folding his arms and glaring at Yoongi. “And no one makes my Taehyungie sad.”
Yoongi sighed. “Obviously I didn't mean you guys. But the rest of you are single. Who wants to help a guy out?”
Jimin looked at Namjoon. “You should go.”
Namjoon promptly dropped his chopsticks and went under the table, emerging red-faced and rumpled.
“Can't!” he said. “I'm busy.”
“He hasn't even said when it is yet,” Taehyung pointed out, ruffling Jimin's hair.
“Two weeks from Saturday,” Yoongi supplied. “In Daegu.”
“Can't!” Namjoon said again, with a sigh of relief. “I have dinner with my publisher.”
Well. He and Namjoon had been awkward with each other lately, anyway. It was weird; they’d been so close for so long. Normally, they’d get together and bounce ideas off of each other for songs and poems, but recently Namjoon had pulled away and into working on his own. Which was fine, whatever. But he missed Namjoon.
Jimin looked next at Seokjin. “Who put you in charge of this, anyway?” Seokjin said.
“I'm just bossy like that,” Jimin replied with a grin. “What about you, Jungkook? You broke up with that Mingyu guy, right?” Jungkook looked sad.
“Leave him alone, Jiminie,” Taehyung chided.
Hoseok, sitting next to him, laughed. “At least I know you won’t pick on me. Can you imagine?” Yoongi and Hoseok had been friends since childhood, and they were definitely NOT a childhood friends to lovers story. Yoongi’s family would never buy that.
Yoongi sighed again. He really didn't want his family bothering him about his singleness at his cousin’s wedding. Or worse, trying to set him up with a blind date. But clearly his friends would be no help.
“Never mind, I'll just…I'll figure something out.”
“Now wait a minute,” Seokjin said. “I didn't say no. But what's in it for me?
“A lovely weekend away with great company and free food,” Yoongi replied.
“In Daegu?” Seokjin said, lifting his eyebrows.
“Hey!” Yoongi and Taehyung said simultaneously.
Yoongi remembered Seokjin's soft spot: food. “Ryu Daeshim will be catering the wedding!”
“Now that is tempting,” Seokjin said. “What else? Will there be kissing?”
“Absolutely not,” Yoongi said. “In fact, that would be a dead giveaway.”
“You can probably do some handholding, though,” Taehyung suggested, lifting Yoongi’s hand with his own and squeezing it gently.
“Well, I'll do it,” Seokjin said. “But I expect to be wooed. Food, dancing, fine wine…”
“You can have food and wine,” Yoongi said firmly.
Seokjin’s weekend with the family went fine. He played the part of a prince perhaps too well. “Isn't he, well, a little full of himself, dear?” Yoongi's mother whispered, after Seokjin's fifteenth reference to his own handsome face.
“Don't worry, eomma, that's just his idea of a joke.” He patted her on the back.
And a few weeks later, when his mother asked after Seokjin, and Yoongi told her they'd broken up, she didn't seem at all surprised or upset, so it had all worked out just fine.
For the next occasion, his grandparents’ anniversary, he didn't even bother trying to bring a date, fake or otherwise.
“I'll just be bringing Hoseok,” he told his mother nonchalantly, over the phone. Hoseok knew his grandparents well from their childhood days.
“How delightful!” his mother exclaimed. “We'll have your room ready.”
“Oh my God, eomma is so excited that you two are together now,” Yoongi’s brother said, helping them take their luggage upstairs. “She even bought a new bed for your room.”
Hoseok looked at him, eyebrows raised, but clearly amused. “I didn't tell her we were together,” Yoongi protested weakly. “She can't just…”
“Hoseok, darling boy,” Yoongi’s mother trilled as she came down the hallway. “We're so delighted to have you here, together. I always knew you two would make a match of it someday.”
Yoongi set down his bags, sat on them, and put his face in his hands. Hoseok, however, smiled sweetly and took her hands in his own. “And I couldn't be happier to see you, eomonim, and for such a wonderful occasion.”
This was it. She was probably going to have them engaged by the time the weekend was over, all because he was unable to find himself a decent boyfriend by the age of 31, and because his best friend thought the whole thing was hilarious.
“Come on, Yoongi!” Hoseok said, patting the bed beside him and laughing. “This whole, big, luxurious bed for us to share, thanks to your mother.”
Yoongi scowled. “Watch out, or I'll let her know at breakfast just how much we enjoyed this bed.”
“You wouldn't dare,” Hoseok said, rolling all the way across the king sized bed.
Hoseok insisted on playing the adoring boyfriend role to the hilt the entire weekend. He hung over Yoongi’s back or slipped his arm around his waist every chance he got. He kept Yoongi supplied with drinks and delicacies. He gushed to Yoongi’s mother about how charming he was as a boyfriend. Yoongi kept pushing him away in distaste, but everyone just smiled at them fondly, saying that Yoongi hadn't changed a bit, and weren't they cute?
Yoongi’s mother was deeply disappointed when they inevitably had to tell her that they had decided they were better off as friends, but she understood, and of course she couldn't hate Hoseok and hoped he would still be coming around sometimes.
Their friends thought it was priceless. “You two? Together?” Seokjin chortled at their next dinner. “And she bought you a bed?”
“No, she did not buy me…”
“Us,” interrupted Hoseok.
“...a bed,” Yoongi continued. “She bought a bed for their house.”
“For us to sleep in together,” Hoseok added, snickering.
“There was only one bed!” giggled Jimin.
Jungkook nudged Namjoon, who was staring into the distance. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
“Hm? Oh, nothing! Just…thinking out a poem.”
“About Yoongi and Hoseok?” Taehyung suggested.
“UGH!” Yoongi said, wrenching his hand away from Taehyung. “You guys are the worst.”
By Christmas, his mother had started hinting again about fixing him up with someone for their big New Year’s Eve party.
“Who knows what she'll come up with?” he complained to Jungkook while they were working out at the gym. “Her hairdresser’s niece’s kindergarten teacher? The dog walker's cousin? The cashier at the grocery store?”
“I'm a kindergarten teacher,” Jungkook reminded him. “And for that matter, why don't you take me? I'd love to meet your family.”
“Jeon Jungkook, you're not hitting on me right now, are you? Yoongi asked sternly.
“No, hyung, I'm just trying to help,” Jungkook said patiently.
Jungkook turned out to be a lovely date. He was polite and respectful to the elders, and affectionate toward Yoongi without overdoing it. He even entertained everyone with his excellent noraebang singing. It was honestly too bad they weren't really in a relationship, but the spark just wasn't there, and Yoongi couldn't pretend otherwise. He might act like a curmudgeon who didn't want any romantic attention, but at heart, he really was a romantic. He wanted to be with someone, but it would have to be the right person, and so far, he hadn't found them. Or they hadn’t found him. Whatever.
When the invitation to his cousin’s daughter's wedding came, he tried to refuse and politely send a gift, but his mother intervened. “Eomma, I'm really going to be so busy with work; one of my groups has an album coming out soon.”
“Nonsense,” she said. “Didn't you see? The wedding is right nearby in Ansan. That's why I told them to be sure to invite you! It's too bad you broke up with that lovely Jungkook boy, but I can ask Hawon if he knows someone; or maybe Dayoung does; she has a lot of hairdresser connections in Seoul…”
“Eomma,” he said, thinking fast. “I'm sure there's someone I could ask. I've been on a few dates.”
“I'm sure you have, darling, I'll leave it to you then, but let me know…”
“I will,” Yoongi said. “I'll let you know if I need help.”
He phoned Jimin for help. “I need you to be bossy again. Tell me what to do.”
“Kinky,” Jimin replied. “But unless we're inviting Taehyung…”
“Don't be obtuse,” Yoongi snapped. “Who can I take? Should I even bother? Maybe it's time I just stand up to my mother. I don't know how much longer I can do this.”
Jimin was silent for a few moments.
“Hello?” Jimin was not normally at a loss for words.
“Well, have you considered asking Namjoon?”
Yoongi sighed. “Jimin, you know he doesn't want to. You were there when he refused before.”
“Well, technically he didn't refuse; he just said he was busy. Which was true, by the way.”
Yoongi thought for a moment. “You know, it really seems like he's been avoiding me, though. I can't remember the last time we hung out together, outside of the group.”
Jimin sighed. “He's not avoiding you. He's just…going through something. Maybe spending some time together will help.”
Yoongi snorted. “Yes, I'm sure having my mother gush over him as my prospective husband will solve all his problems.” Problems that for some reason I know nothing about, he thought.
“Just try,” Jimin suggested. “I don't know why, but I have a feeling that it would do you both good.”
Namjoon-ah, I need a favor, he texted
The reply came quickly. Of course, anything, hyung.
Ha. He was probably going to change his tune quickly. Well, no sense beating around the bush.
Are you free the weekend of March 15? My cousin’s daughter is getting married and eomma is insisting I need a date.
And then after a moment: But if you’re busy, I understand. No worries.
Namjoon gave him a few anxious minutes in return. Yoongi walked to his keyboard, played a song, came back, still nothing. He was about to text a “never mind,” when the reply finally came.
Sorry, had to do some checking first! Yes, I’ll go with you, hyung. Happy to help. Let me know the details.
Whew.
“Isn’t your cousin’s daughter also your cousin?” Namjoon asked, after they had settled into train seats.
“Well, yes,” Yoongi replied, letting one corner of his mouth turn up. “But I barely know her. I know Hawon because he was the cool older cousin when I was growing up. But we haven’t stayed in touch. Except for weddings, apparently.”
“I guess family is important to you, though,” Namjoon mused. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be going to all of these family functions. And it’s nice that you try to make your mother happy.”
“I guess that’s true,” Yoongi responded. Even though they could be annoying about relationships, he did value his family and genuinely wanted to spend time with them.
“Anyway!” Namjoon said. “How is that song for idle going?”
Yoongi filled him in on his producing work, asked Namjoon about his writing, and they briefly discussed collaborating on a song.
“That poem you showed me, a few months ago, “Persona”? I keep thinking about turning it into a song,” Yoongi said. He paused, then said, “And honestly, it really resonated with me. That feeling of not being good enough. I never think of myself as good enough. Maybe that’s why I want to please my mom.”
“Hyung, no! I’ve always looked up to you. Of course you’re good enough.” Namjoon looked scandalized.
“And I'm not fishing for compliments,” Yoongi said. “I also know that I’m good at what I do, at least as far as work goes. I’ve learned to get past that feeling. But I do know it well.”
“Well.” Namjoon shifted a bit, as if he might be thinking about hugging Yoongi. “You can lean on me, hyung. If you feel that way. I’m happy to be here for you.”
Yoongi, suddenly feeling shy, looked down, saying “All right.”
When they arrived at the hotel in Ansan, Namjoon visibly relaxed. Yoongi saw him look around the tree-lined courtyard, taking deep breaths.
“It's always amazing to find places like this so close to the city,” Namjoon said.
Yoongi smiled, feeling fond.
They checked into a room for the night and went down to meet the family for dinner. Yoongi's mother greeted them, but when he introduced Namjoon (“a writer and professor of both Korean and English literature,”, she went uncharacteristically silent. “Hmmm,” she hummed, looking him over, then turning away.
“Eomma!” Yoongi exclaimed, scandalized. “Joon, I'm sorry, something must be the matter…I'll be right back.”
He chased down a hallway after her. “Eomma!”
She stopped and turned. “Well, Yoongi-yah, can't I even go to the bathroom by myself? You're not a toddler any more.”
He stared at her, panting. “How could you be so rude to Namjoon? You're usually overly enthusiastic in greeting my dates.”
She blinked at him. “Oh, I'm sorry, dear. Just having a little indigestion or something. So if you'll excuse me…” She gestured toward the bathroom door.”
“Of course, eomma,” Yoongi said guiltily. “I hope you're all right; just tell me if you need anything.”
“I don't need anything,” she said, patting his cheek. “Go on back, now.”
His father, meanwhile, had taken pity on Namjoon and helped him get a drink and find their table.
“I'm pretty sure I've seen your book before,” his father was saying. “Maybe Yoongi was carrying it around? How did you two meet, anyway?”
“We've been friends for a long time, appa,” Yoongi interjected, seating himself next to Namjoon. “Since university, in fact.”
“And yet he's never brought you around,” his father mused.
Namjoon laid a hand on Yoongi's shoulder. “You know how much of a homebody he is. Reclusive, even.”
He glared at Namjoon, but didn't shrug off his hand. The hand slipped to his waist, and now he was half-enveloped in Namjoon, who was wearing a soft sweater under a jacket and smelled slightly woodsy.
His father, unexpectedly, smiled at them. “I'm glad he found you, Kim Namjoon-ssi. I'd better go look for Sookju now.”
Yoongi stared after him. “Well, at least he likes you,” he said, fighting a sudden urge to curl himself fully into Namjoon's chest.
“Well, not that it's actually important, right?” Namjoon pointed out, pulling his arm back and then straightening Yoongi's jacket.
“Right,” Yoongi replied, staring at Namjoon's hands. On impulse, he reached out, and Namjoon covered his hand with his own.
“Can't get enough of me?” Namjoon teased.
“Oh. Um. Let's go check out that piano.”
“Lead the way,” Namjoon said, squeezing his hand.
Yoongi resisted the urge to lift that hand and kiss it. What was coming over him? First he and Namjoon were barely interacting any more, and now this?
There was no music playing for this family-only part of the event, so he sat down at the piano and started to play from his repertoire of movie soundtracks. Namjoon sat next to him, facing away from the piano, but with his hip against Yoongi's. It was a bit cramped for piano playing, but he didn't complain.
He paused as it became obvious that dinner was about to be served, and a smattering of applause rose from the room. He rose and bowed slightly to no one in particular, then turned to Namjoon.
“Shall we?” he said, holding out his hand again. Namjoon solemnly offered an arm, and they made their way back to the table in time for the dinner service. His parents were there, along with his brother and sister-in-law. His mother was still being strangely quiet, but the others talked cheerfully with Namjoon about favorite authors and university experiences.
“It's a pleasure to meet you, Namjoon-ssi,” she finally said when everyone was saying goodnight. “We'll see you in the morning.”
This was weird. He didn't want her gushing over Namjoon, but why wasn't she? Had she somehow deemed Namjoon unworthy on sight? He was a little miffed.
Taking the elevator up to their room, he said, “I'll take the couch.”
“Hyung, no!”
“I insist,” he said. “It's a perfectly nice pull-out, and you're the one doing me a favor, remember.”
Namjoon's face and ears flushed a little as he said. “It's no favor. I'm glad to be here.”
“You like my parents that much?” Yoongi teased.
“I do, actually. I thought your mom would be a lot more annoying.”
“She usually is,” Yoongi said. “I don't know why she's been so quiet. I hope everything's ok.”
“Well, anyway, I like being here. With you,” Namjoon said. “We haven't hung out much lately.”
“I know,” Yoongi said. “I don't even know why. I guess we've both been busy. Adulting, or whatever the kids call it. They say in your 30s it's harder to make time for friends.”
The elevator doors opened, and they found their room again.
“Anyway, the couch. I'll take it,” Yoongi said, moving his bag over toward it.
“All right, hyung,” Namjoon said meekly, moving his own bag.
They took turns using the bathroom, showering, and settling into their own spaces, but then Namjoon came into the doorway and suggested, “How about a movie? They have Decision to Leave on here; didn't you want to watch that?”
He was surprised Namjoon remembered, but why not?
“Sure, do you want to watch it in here, or…”
Namjoon shifted his feet and looked at the TV. “Well, the bedroom TV is bigger, if you don't mind…”
They ordered some snacks from room service and settled down on Namjoon's bed to watch. Yoongi was engrossed in the movie at first; it was part thriller and part romance, but at some point he must have fallen asleep, because he woke up with Namjoon gently snoring next to him.
Oh. Why hadn't Namjoon kicked him out? Silly boy, he thought fondly. He looked at the time; it was already 8 a.m., and they were due in the wedding hall at 10. He shook Namjoon awake. “Why didn't you kick me out, idiot?”
Namjoon stretched. “I didn't want to wake you. You were sleeping so peacefully, like a cat, with your hands up by your face…” he trailed off.
“Well, we have to get ready now,” Yoongi said firmly. Good thing they had showered last night. “I'll order us some breakfast.”
“Hyung! Hotteok and bungeoppang? You're spoiling me.” Namjoon was clapping his hands and grinning like a toddler.
Yoongi felt inordinately soft and vulnerable. “I know what you like, that's all. Eat up.”
As they entered the wedding venue and found their table, Yoongi wondered whether he would ever want to do all of this. He might well rather just elope to some secluded, romantic location instead. But meanwhile, Namjoon was a pretty good companion. He didn't resent the feeling of Namjoon's hand at the small of his back, guiding him to his seat, nor the fond caress of his shoulders as he sat down.
He didn't mind, during the ceremony, when Namjoon held his hand.
And when the ceremony was over, and the dance floor was opened up to everyone, and IU's "Everyday With You” was playing, Namjoon asked him to dance, and he said yes.
If the whole gang had been there, no doubt they would have been staring. Yoongi didn't dance with anyone. But with Namjoon, it seemed right, even though it was really just swaying to the music.
His mother asked for the next dance.
“You like him,” she accused.
“Isn't that what you wanted?” he asked her.
“I could tell you never really liked the others, you know,” she responded. “Even Hoseok. Especially Hoseok. But Namjoon…I could tell right away that he was different. You'd better not mess this up!”
“Eomma!” he protested. “This is still new.” You have no idea how new, he thought.
“I don't care,” she said. “He's the one. Mothers can tell.”
He drifted back to Namjoon when they were finished.
“Eomma likes you,” he said.
“Good?” Namjoon replied. “Although I guess that could be difficult later.”
Yoongi screwed up all his courage.
“I like you, too, Namjoon. If that's ok. I know this was supposed to be pretend, but…I realized this. I like you. For real.”
Namjoon pulled him closer, looked into his eyes. And for once he didn't look away.
“I like you, too. For a while now. I just…I didn't know how to say it. Or if I should. So I stayed away. I'm sorry.”
Yoongi tiptoed up to kiss him, gently, quickly. They were still in public, in front of his family after all! But he couldn't let the moment pass.
“More later?” Namjoon murmured with a lopsided smile.
“More later,” Yoongi agreed, following along as Namjoon gave him a tiny twirl.
Jimin looked smug when they arrived for the next group dinner, hand in hand. “I knew you two would figure it out if you just had a chance. And I didn’t want to have to lock you in a closet or something.” Then he looked around the group, settling his eyes first on Seokjin and then on Hoseok.
“Now, wait a minute…” Seokjin began
“And what about me?” Jungkook mourned.