Chapter Text
Despite what Lucifer seemed to think, Alastor truly did not know that the man couldn’t harm sinners. Had he known, one best believe that Alastor would have made a far bigger show of it. He would have traded the information away for quite literally anything, rather than just sitting on the knowledge and trying to goad their king. No no, he truly hadn’t the faintest idea. Really, the whole thing was unfortunate more than anything. Alastor had no desire to sit there and tease a wet noodle, a neutered puppy. It wasn’t fun and it wasn’t sporting. All in all — boring.
It was so absolutely, dreadfully, far too unendingly boring.
He had come back to the hotel because, for all that he might have won his little bluff with Rosie, he truly had managed to start developing some bonds within this little collective. More importantly, his souls had managed to create connections to this place, and though he cared little for Husker’s opinion, dragging his darling Niffty away from her Baxter would cause some behavioral problems, of this he was certain. Yet the fact that his freedom was technically amounting to doing the same thing as before, simply in a slightly better mood, was starting to frustrate. Surely there was something else he could do. Something. Anything. He felt like he needed another goal to reach for, something to strive toward.
He hummed to himself and twirled his cane around as he moved into the front lobby. Throughout the building were numerous little puppets of his, performing miscellaneous tasks offhandedly, like straightening a piece of furniture or handing a guest a key. Thankfully, such things didn’t take too much effort to automate, and now that he was no longer injured and sending all his energy into not dying from that little wound from Adam, he no longer needed to rely on dear — what was it now? Vaggi? — for assistance in his job.
More interesting than the hustle and bustle of their now filled lobby was the way the King moved through it, fumbling and apologetic at every bump or slip. He waved his hands around and practically tripped over himself, surrounded by sinners all quite a bit larger than him. It wasn’t as if any of them could actually harm the King, not without vast effort and the assistance of something created by Carmilla, and yet the King seemed so much less confident than he had been prior to his interactions with Vox. Technically speaking, little had actually changed between then and now, but the King was utterly lacking the bluster he used to summon.
The little King stumbled into a large sinner, smoking and angry-looking with pale yellow skin and dripping fangs. Alastor tilted his head to the side and used one of his summons to listen in.
“Woah—okay, sorry about running into you there, big guy! You know, I mean, don’t want to alarm you or anything, but you’re kinda, like, dripping all over the place out of your mouth, and it’s kinda gross, so like, you should probably fix that,” the King said, waving a hand over the sinner’s body.
The sinner tensed, eyes narrowing in on the King. He leaned over him, and some of the liquid dropping from his mouth splattered onto the King’s hat, his crown. Lucifer stumbled back, “Oh god! What the fuck, that was fucking gross.”
“Mind your manners, puppet. Just because Vox didn’t work out doesn’t mean we don’t know how useless—”
Alastor narrowed his eyes but cut off his connection to the puppet below.
Swiftly, he slid his way back into his room, waving his hand to summon up the sofa in the middle of his bayou. Alastor leaned back and considered what he had just seen. What a vile little creature. To think that at one point Alastor himself had tried to bait the King into action, yet now things like that sinner could do so, and the King was truly cursed with inaction as a sinner — for lack of a better term — spat on him. Alastor didn’t know what that was. He wouldn’t label it entertainment, more like an annoyance. It brought up the question of what exactly he should do about this annoyance.
It had been simple enough before his seven-year break to simply start up a broadcast with the reason behind his annoyance as the main focus. But he couldn’t quite do that yet, not when he was still so deeply associated with the hotel. Plus, he hardly wanted the King to know that Alastor was the one who had decided to off the mannerless cur. Of course, he could just kill the sinner, but that was so uncreative and rather boring, and the poor thing would never understand the folly of its mistake in playing with the little King, who was technically still Alastor’s interest, even if playing with him was boring for all its lack of consequences.
What an odd position to be put into.
Perhaps he could use some assistance in figuring out what to do.
Hmmm… Annoying his darling Rosie was also something sitting on his rather vacant to-do list. Two birds with one stone, as it were. For all that she treated him like a pet, she was rather good at advice.
Alastor allowed himself to fade into the shadows and materialized right outside of Rosie’s shop. He swung both doors open with the same level of enthusiasm as before — no, far more enthusiasm, because he was free now, and seeing her without the fear of his chain getting pulled truly was a new experience he knew he would enjoy.
“Rosie, darling, it’s Alastor~!”
“Why, if it isn’t the backstabber. You have a lot of nerve showing up here, don’t you, dear~?” Rosie said, coming down the stairs. Yet despite her words, there was a flick of the wrist and the usual summoning of the blood Thai tea they both enjoyed so much. Alastor took a seat and allowed himself to actually enjoy the first sip of his beverage.
He smirked at her, allowing one side of his smile to droop ever so slightly, wanting her to know that yes, it was a smirk, and yes, he was quite smug. “How have you been, my dear?”
She frowned, but sighed and shook it off. “Oh, just fine, I suppose. I certainly wasn’t expecting your company, now that you have everything you want.”
She gestured to his staff.
“How bold of you to assume that I don’t enjoy your company, my dear. Why, if you hadn’t refused to fix my staff in the first place, I never would have needed to take such measures. But you just couldn’t help yourself, could you? You had to have me sing that damnable—”
Alastor cut off his words as they started to drift away from his more measured speech and into something closer to growled complaints.
Rosie, however, beamed at him. “Oh Alastor, I didn’t know that you wanted to be—”
“Don’t say that word.”
“—Friends~! Why didn’t you just say so!” She was far too smug.
His ears pinned back. “You are an infuriating woman. I’ve no clue why I decided to bother with you.”
Something more genuine flickered across her face. “I did, of course, know that you would someday attempt to break your chains, my favorite demon, but I hardly expected you to come by for tea afterward. I must admit, one could become accustomed. Why, did you miss your dear Rosie’s advice?”
The words were joking but clearly true. Alastor half rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.
She made a show of gasping, a hand covering the abyss that was her mouth. “Why Alastor, does that mean you’ve come with juicy gossip for me? Why didn’t you just say so, we could have skipped all the ribbing and gotten down to business much sooner. Now tell me, what brings you to my shop today? I’m a generous woman, so I won’t put a price on my advice.”
The price for her advice was the gossip that Alastor knew she enjoyed, but if she wanted to pretend to be a giving person, he supposed he couldn’t stop her. “Yes, well, you see, I have become quite listless, I will admit.”
“I’d imagine so,” Rosie responded, and there was still some bitterness there.
“Now now, Rosie, don’t be such a downer. You know as well as I it was bound to happen. Ah yes, where was I—The hotel is rather boring as of late, and knowing that I cannot truly force the King to snap means I can’t find fun in that little side project anymore. And, for the reputation of the hotel, I can no longer find someone to broadcast beautiful screams, at least not until I start to separate myself from the facility. Then I saw our rather incompetent King get drooled on by a sinner, and I thought to myself, it’s quite the shame to miss the perfect opportunity to teach someone to respect their betters—”
“An interesting amount of respect you seem to have developed for Lucifer,” Rosie commented, her fingers interlocked and her chin resting in her hands as she leaned forward with interest.
Respect was not the word he would use. No, something more like unfulfilled annoyance would be more accurate. “Now that is simply not the case.”
“Are you quite sure? Well, never mind that. If you are looking for something interesting to do, and you want to start with that demon you were considering before, perhaps you should just murder all the people who are looking to overturn the Morningstar rule. Surely that would give you plenty to do, it’s practically half the Pentagram.”
He wrinkled his nose.
“I have no intention of helping Lucifer, but also, that would still have me running into the problem of giving the hotel a bad reputation.”
“Well, instead of killing them, just contract them.”
Alastor laughed. “Contract them? Like you said, that’s half the Pentagram, don’t be ridiculous.”
She took a sip of her tea. “Well, start with Overlords, then have Overlords do the rank and file of it all, and it might happen faster than you think. Either way, it will give you something potentially never-ending to do with your energy. After all, my dear demon, you’d hardly ever be satisfied—”
He didn’t want to hear her words, knowing they would sound far too similar to the ones he had given Vincent, and Alastor never favored reminders of how similar he was to that TV-headed joke. So he disappeared. What would Rosie do, scold him for rudeness? No, they were far past that now. If she tried, he would simply vanish before she could say a word at their next meeting.
He had to admit, there was something about her advice. It would be… nice, to have something to occupy his time. And trying to contract all those who stood against Lucifer would take a lot of time and effort, and subsequently also gain him a great deal of power. It was a win-win, even though he wasn’t the biggest fan of helping Lucifer. It was a mostly positive sort of action and, if he was found out, at worst it would reflect positively on the hotel. Perhaps a little trial wouldn’t be too out of place. And thankfully, there were certain perks that came from being the hotelier.
He appeared in the main lobby and quickly skimmed through their books until he found the room of the demon from before. His eyes gleamed, flickering through radio frequencies as he located the number. Twirling his staff, he rested it on his shoulder and made his way to the room, ignoring all others and enjoying the way the crowd split in half to let him through. All of them remembering the way he had utterly destroyed Vox in their little battle, and knowing better than to get in his way. Splendid.
He knocked on the door when he reached it, but didn’t wait for an answer, slipping into shadows and entering beneath the gap before re-materializing. Before the sinner could do or say anything, Alastor gestured toward him, and shadows broke off, covering the man’s mouth in black and muffling anything the would-be speaker could say. Hmmm. Alastor always did enjoy the sound of that muffled silence as a victim tried to plead their case. How lovely to hear it again.
“Now, I’m sure you are quite confused as to what this is about, and I don’t blame you~! I too am surprised to find myself here.” Alastor crowded in toward the sinner. Ah, he was looking a little too defiant. With a wave of his hand, Alastor used his shadows to force the sinner into a bow. Much better.
“It seems that you don’t really know your place when you are before the King of Hell, and I find myself in need of some…”
Alastor paused, running a finger along the edge of his staff as he grinned down at the now trembling sinner. “…entertainment. So, I wonder, little sinner, do you want to live?”
His tentacle withdrew, allowing the sinner to speak—
“HELP!”
Alastor raised an eyebrow.
“Dear, I am the Radio Demon. You think I can’t stop the pathetic sounds you make from leaving this room? Now now, none of that. At least go out with some self-respect. Make this easy on yourself and agree to my deal.”
“What’s… the deal?” The demon looked terrified, that disgusting drool dripping down onto the floor. Alastor wrinkled his nose in disgust, widening his smile.
Alastor tilted his head to the side. “Oh, I’ll tell you soon enough, but first, I’m going to do you a favor and improve your appearance, just slightly~!”
Heart beating faster—practically hammering in his chest—Alastor contemplated his next move. Perhaps if this sinner lacked some teeth, he might find it easier not to drool like a pathetic little mongrel. After all, if Alastor didn’t teach this little sinner to fear him, he might try and sidestep their deal, and that simply wouldn’t do.
He chuckled and sent his shadows forward, wrapping them around the man’s teeth and squeezing. The teeth cracked and broke as the sinner screamed out in true, unadulterated pain.
Ahhh… he missed this. This sweet sound. It was just a shame he didn’t get to share it with an audience.
“I think you’re willing to make a deal now, would I be correct?”
The sinner nodded his head frantically.
“Lovely. The terms are thus: you are going to give me your pathetic soul, and go out and—” Alastor chuckled. This was absolutely hilarious. He owed his darling Rosie for this later. “—spread the good word of our Lord and savior Lucifer. Be respectful of our King in all ways. Oh, and perhaps a public apology wouldn’t be too out of place. Of course, remember, if I find that you aren’t wholeheartedly abiding by the true intention of our deal, I’ll bring you right back here and give that smile of yours a little extra work-over. So, do we have a deal?”
Their hands met, the sinner so weak that even if Alastor wanted to put on a show of power, it wouldn’t have been possible. Utterly pathetic, this sinner. Still, one more soul to the collection was never a bad thing, and Rosie hadn’t been wrong, this was quite entertaining.