Chapter Text
Chibita didn’t like to brag too much, but he had to admit that he had a lot to be proud of. For someone who’d spent his childhood constantly jumping around from place to place, occasionally living in sewers with hardly more than an eccentric not-actually-French con man as an example of what adults should be, Chibita had turned out pretty all right. More than that--he was a self-made man, running his own business and sharing his talents with the whole world!
Well, the whole of Akatsuka Ward, which technically speaking was a part of the whole world!
Yeah, if he thought about it, he was pretty good. A story of the literal little guy, always getting pushed down but finally now making it on his own and creating that perfect life for himself with his own two hands.
There was just one problem. Or rather, six problems, but they all looked the same and amounted to one collective pain in his ass.
Chibita would have assumed that as he got older he would have made more decent friends. After all, shouldn’t hard-working, earnest people attract one another? And especially with a job such as his, which was so focused on spreading joy and camaraderie through its many flavors.
Instead, Chibita found he was busy all the time, and all the people he would have things in common with were also busy all the time, and the only people he got to see were NEETs that had nothing better to do than annoy him and eat away at his hard work without compensation.
But, he supposed it wasn't all bad all the time. As a whole the sextuplets were intolerable, but individually they could almost be considered okay.
Choromatsu on his own acted almost like a regular patron might, polite and courteous to Chibita as he ate his oden and flipped through Classified ads. Though, Chibita couldn't help but shake his head listening to the way the guy would talk himself into and then just as quickly out of every prospect he would consider applying for.
Todomatsu could actually be great for business, what with all his connections around town and how much he knew about getting things trending on those internet sites Chibita did not entirely understand but had heard great things about. Chibita kept reminding him that he’d said he’d bring his friends to the stand and take lots of pictures to post online, but so far no luck.
As it were, the only help he ever got was strangely enough from Ichimatsu. Scary as that guy acted, he was the only one who could corral the stray cats that inevitably started mewling around his cart during food prep. Chibita made it a habit now to toss anything that fell on the ground or didn’t cook just right into a bag, and when Ichimatsu shuffled up Chibita could pass it off to him to use to lead the cats away. Chibita wanted to come up with a way to thank him, but he had the distinct impression that Ichimatsu wasn’t doing it for him, and in fact might stop if he brought it up.
Jyushimatsu also helped in his own special Jyushimatsu way, by which Chibita meant in a way that was completely unfathomable and more than a little unnerving. But sometimes when Jyushimatsu was there, Chibita’s real patrons would become so mesmerized watching the strange man betray any and all laws of nature that they wouldn’t notice how high their tab was stacking up. Those would end up being some pretty fruitful evenings, so long as Chibita didn’t spend too long himself getting hypnotized by the Matsuno.
Karamatsu… well, Karamatsu at least tried. The man was constantly coming up with new strategies to entertain Chibita as he worked, and occasionally he was even successful, though usually not in the way intended. Some nights Karamatsu would bring his guitar, excited to share whatever he’d been working on lately. One night Karamatsu had decided he would serenade Chibita’s patrons, harmonizing with the inner warmth brought by this delicious meal crafted by the artist’s tiny hands that would merge with Karamatsu’s within the souls of all who were lead by the stars of fate to this oden cart of fantasy!
Yeah, Karamatsu wasn’t allowed to do that anymore.
But that was okay. Honestly Karamatsu didn’t really need to do much. His long-winded story epics about how he ended up at the oden cart for dinner--always convoluted excuses to cover up something as simple as his brothers being mean to him--were usually all that were needed to draw enough pity to prompt Chibita to offer him a seat and a plate.
So, sure, if he really thought about it, Chibita could think of enough redeeming qualities for each of the Matsuno siblings to explain why he let them all hang around wasting his time and eating his money--well, except for one.
Osomatsu was simply a shithead, no other way about it.
At least the other ones, when they stopped by on their own, would try to pay. Not Osomatsu. In fact, Osomatsu specifically came when he was broke. Any money off of horse races or pachinko would have been spent at a real bar. It was when he was utterly broke that he’d end up sidling up to Chibita’s cart acting all friendly.
And when Chibita would refuse, Osomatsu would laugh it off and ask again. And then whine. And then beg. And then yell. And then threaten. And then throw things at him. And one time he nearly flipped over the cart, and after that Chibita did some quick math and decided that the few beers wasn’t that bad of an insurance payment against potential rage-induced damages to his place of business. But that didn’t mean that he had to like it, or that there’d ever be a time when that particular brother would sit down and Chibita wouldn’t feel his blood boiling.
Now, normally Osomatsu was at least slightly conscious of Chibita’s disdain enough not to press it more than a couple drinks, but tonight for some odd reason he had decided tonight to extend Chibita’s torture out by several hours. Chibita had had enough.
“Damn it, I said you’re done! Go home! Go drink your poor mother out of house and home and stop eating away my business!”
“Aw, come on--it’s not even like anyone’s even passed by here in hours. If I go, won’t you just be lonely out here by yourself?” Osomatsu said with a grin as he held up his empty glass, clearly proud of his logic and believing that pointing out Chibita’s lack of customers entitled him to more alcohol.
Chibita’s hands were white from how tightly he balled his fists as he spoke through gritted teeth “ I don’t have any customers because SOMEONE won’t get his LAZY ASS OFF MY CART DAMN IT!”
Unable to contain his rage anymore, his hands reached into his oden ingredients and started pelting them at Osomatsu’s face.
Unfortunately, Osomatsu was much too used to this game, dodging the first two pieces and actually catching the third in his hands, bopping the hot egg between his hands before popping it in his mouth and grinning. Ha, free food!
Chibita growled and reached to start hurling his metal utensils. Osomatsu held up his emptied plate as a mock shield, clearly taking Chibita’s earnest rage as a joke.
The small cook’s anger was so consuming that it blocked out all the other details of his surroundings that weren’t immediately relevant to hurling things at Osomatsu’s face. As such, he wasn't sure how long his second customer for the night had been standing there watching, unaware of the added presence until they announced themselves via their fist slamming down hard on the counter.
Chibita was still in attack mode as he turned to this new opponent, weapons at the ready. But Chibita himself wasn't ready for who he found there. He'd been expecting one of Osomatsu’s matching-face cronies trying to join the fray, not a lovely girl in a turtleneck and the same signature pigtails she'd been sporting since she was a child. Her usually pretty features had been twisted by anger into something a little frightening, but Chibita figured that was an understandable reaction to coming up to the cart expecting the sweet familial embrace of oden and instead finding a small madman throwing things at a cackling bowlcut-haired monster.
Chibita was quick to change tempos, though, putting on the proud and practiced smile of an inviting restaurateur as he greeted “Totoko-chan! Fancy seeing you here! Here--take a seat and I’ll fix you a plate. No need to worry--I remember what you like, though I wish I’d’ve know you’d drop by so I could save your favorites!”
He shot a mean glare over at Osomatsu, who had already slid along the bench to make room for Totoko. Hff, not far enough--he would prefer the bastard slide off the bench entirely and finally leave for good.
Surely his presence wasn’t helping Totoko’s mood any. She dropped onto the bench with a huff, arms folded over the table. Up close Chibita saw that her hair was damp and a bit misshapen from usual, and it had to be chilly in the night air.
Well, that was no problem! Nothing could warm hearts and brighten spirits like the cooking of a childhood friend! Chibita arranged a hearty portion and set it in front of her along with a frothy mug of beer. And he was definitely not upset at all when she reached for the beer first.
“Hey, no fair! I’ve been waiting longer!” Osomatsu’s cheeks were puffed up in annoyance as he thrust his empty mug in front of Chibita’s face.
“ You can get the hell out, y’idjit,” Chibita shot back. “I have actual paying customers now, so you can move right along.”
Granted, Totoko rarely ever ended up actually paying. But that was just because it was always so infrequent that he’d see her drop by, and what kind of guy would he be if he didn’t treat his friend every once in a while?
“C’mon, you’re really gonna be like that?” Osomatsu continued in exasperation. “It’s just one beer--don’t be such a cheapskate!”
Chibita laughed. “That’s rich coming from a greedy fucker like you. No . You want your ‘ one beer ’--which would be your third off me, I’ll remind you--you’re gonna have to settle that giant tab of yours and your brothers’. Don’t act like I’ve forgotten.”
“ But Chibitaaaa-- !”
Totoko’s voice wasn’t nearly as impassioned, but it cut off Osomatsu’s whining quite succinctly. “Get him one too. Put it on my bill; I don’t care.”
Chibita stared in stunned silence at Totoko, waiting for some explanation to come. Instead, the only thing to come was Osomatsu’s empty mug thrust in front of Chibita’s face. Come on now, he heard the girl.
Muttering curses under his breath, Chibita swiped the glass out of his hands, making sure to pour in such a way that it would mostly be a cool glass of foam, a good bit of which sloshed out when Chibita slammed it down in front of him.
Osomatsu didn’t care, grinning wide as he scratched at his upper lip. Just getting the drink was enough of a win. It hardly mattered to his sense of pride that he’d only won it out of sheer annoyance on the part of everyone else
Well, whatever. Chibita turned his attention back to the one guest he actually did give a damn about pleasing that night. “So Totoko-chan, it’s been a while--what’ve you been up to? Gal like you’s bound to always be keeping busy with stuff all over town. And didn’t I hear something about you starting up some sort of show or something?”
He paused, recalling more details. What day was today? After a second, he smacked his forehead, groaning. “Damn it, your debut was tonight wasn’t it?! I can’t believe I missed it! I was even gonna take an evening off for it--aw, can you forgive me Totoko-chan?”
He’d gotten side-tracked thinking of his work and had completely lost track. But she had to understand how that felt, right? Especially now that she was starting up on her own journey to start her own career. Really, Chibita felt more than a little pride thinking on the two of them, the soon-to-be international pop idol and the world-renowned chef in the making.
“I’ll make it to the next one for sure! Swear on my own damn cart!” Chibita promised, his heart swelling with admiration for the girl. “But you gotta tell me all about it now! How was it? Amazing? I bet it was amazing, damn it!”
The silence that followed was certainly not amazing. It was pretty heavy, actually.
Totoko took no hurry in answering Chibita, focusing instead on her beer. The only thing filling the quiet was her slow gulps of drink and Osomatsu lazily rapping his knuckles on the counter, seeming to know something Chibita didn't and yet making no effort to enlighten him.
Finally she set her drink down and wiped at her mouth with her sleeve. That sour expression she'd arrived with hadn't brightened one bit. Maybe if she actually ate some of his oden he'd put out for her --but he couldn't say as much before she finally spoke up.
“Tch, what a crock of bullshit. I mean, honestly --”
“Huh?” Chibita had to reconfirm that it had been her concert he had asked about, as that certainly wasn't the response he thought he'd get.
“ Bullshit ,” Totoko repeated. “All that work busting my ass, for what? Just to get fucking ogled by a bunch of gross ass NEETs like it's a regular old fucking Tuesday. Seriously, not like any of you assholes had anything else going on--you couldn't bother to bathe before? Swear I thought I was gonna barf right on stage looking at all of you losers.”
From there Totoko launched into a tirade, detailing to Chibita everything that went wrong with her show, somehow managing to trace it back to the fault of the matching-faced Matsuno spawn that had taken up her front row. They messed up her lighting. Their loud cries covered up the music and made her trip up on lyrics. They crowded the stage so much that she couldn't do her full dance routine, which she wouldn't have wanted to do anyway because with that outfit those horny fucks would have lost it. And she was certain that somehow they were the ones creating the stench in her cramped dressing room too.
Now, Chibita loved hearing this, make no mistake. He loved any opportunity to hear about those rotten little shits getting dragged across Akatsuka Ward, and even better that it was being done through the lips of their beloved childhood crush. And more than that, he truly understood her frustration. Who else but him would know that kind of suffering, putting the entirety of one's soul into their work only to have the only people around to notice it be a bunch of unappreciative NEETs completely ignorant to the effort or working hard at anything?
So yes, Chibita was in full support of this rant. He was just a little wary, given that one of those awful brats in question--and the one with the strongest predilection for fighting and generally being nasty, no less--was sitting right there for all of it. He figured not even Osomatsu would stoop so low to fight a girl giving her honest opinion of him, but that didn’t mean Chibita got the same coverage, even though he wasn’t even the once saying anything.
As such, it came as a surprise when he turned to Osomatsu expecting a red-faced hothead about to boil over, and instead finding a casual, lazy grin. Sure, he’d turn it into a pout whenever Totoko looked his way, whining an occasional “ Totoko-chaaan ” after a particularly biting comment, but he was too lazy to keep up the act any longer than needed. When he noticed Chibita’s staring he winked back at him, then gestured toward both of their empty mugs. Refills, please.
Oh, so that explained it. Shameless bastard could take all the verbal abuse Totoko could dish out so long as she was footing the bill. Despicable.
But despicable and quiet was preferable to despicable and trying to turn the cart over, so Chibita grudgingly complied.
Totoko’s verbal abuse lasted through another beer and a half, after which she chugged the last bit down and stood up with a rather unladylike belch. Certainly not the Totoko that Chibita was used to, but she was certainly a good deal more relaxed since she’d sat down.
She started rummaging through the pocket of her skirt, turning to address Osomatsu as she worked. “So you are gonna go back home and tell all your piece of shit little brothers everything I said tonight, you hear? Want it word for word. And also, tell Choromatsu-kun I’ll see his skank ass tomorrow to start planning the next one.”
She finally freed her wallet from the too-small pocket of her skirt, and in the next moment proceeded to chuck a fistful of coins right into Chibita’s face. Chibita cringed and tried to duck, though more than a few of the big ones pelted his bald little head.
Completely unbothered by that, she gave them both a wave. “Well, I’m out. Night sluts.”
Osomatsu started a “Have a good night, Totoko-chan”, but she’d already turned away to head back to her home.
Now that the threat of being beaten with money was gone, Chibita was able to stand back up at his cart, gathering up all the fallen coins. Well, at least she’d paid decently, most certainly covering both hers and Osomatsu’s drink and food.
Aw, but that just reminded him-- Chibita looked with a frown to confirm that her plate was still sitting there, completely untouched. Well, until Osomatsu started picking things off of it. The only solace Chibita had was that it had likely long since gone cold--Osomatsu didn’t deserve the loving warmth of oden cooked by a childhood friend. But that fact didn’t seem to bother Osomatsu any, and he was still grinning nonetheless.
“Tchk, don’t know what an idjit like you is smiling for. Should be hiding your face in shame after everything you did to that poor girl,” Chibita chastised.
“Hey, I didn’t do anything--”
“Were you not listening at all? Should’ve kicked your ass right out of here from the start with how angry you were making her. Then I could’ve cheered her up without you here to piss her off more, damn it.”
“Chibita, I’m pretty sure if she didn’t want to see me she wouldn’t have come in the first place,” Osomatsu replied through half-chewed atsuage. “I’m the one who invited her here.”
“The hell are you talking about--”
Osomatsu finally swallowed his food to explain. “Yeah. She looked all stressed out after her show but was still putting on the whole pretty idol routine shit and wouldn’t talk. So I told her I’d be hanging out here after for whenever she was ready.”
“Hm.” Well, that did explain why Osomatsu had been hanging on so long milking his beers like he had earlier that evening. Weird that he wouldn’t have just said she was supposed to come, though. “Still your fault for being such an idjit in the first place and ruining what should have been a great time.”
Osomatsu just shrugged. “Eh, few more shows and there won’t be a problem anymore. Once she gets some fans to fill things up, she won’t give a damn what the shitty NEETs are doing up front,” he pointed out with a smile.
Well, Chibita couldn’t argue with that. An idol was only as good as the ones who idolized her, he supposed.
Osomatsu nabbed a few more things off Totoko’s abandoned plate and then stood up. “Well, it’s getting late,” he said with a yawn like he actually had somewhere to be in the morning. “See ya around.”
Chibita had been distracted by the rare instance of actually getting decently paid, but as Osomatsu started to leave Chibita’s regular temper flared back up. “Totoko-chan may have covered you tonight, but don’t think I’ve forgotten your regular tab! You better have all of it next time, damn it! Or else!”
Osomatsu didn’t even turn around, just giving a lazy wave of his hand behind him.
Chibita huffed and sat back. Alone, he could feel how late it was, tiredness already setting in before he’d even started closing up shop for the night. He sincerely hoped this wouldn’t become a regular thing.