Chapter Text
“You’re thinking of reaching out to him, aren’t you?”
Barry’s head tilts at Lena. “Who?”
“You know. Him. Superman.”
Barry shakes his head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because The Blur is dead, Lena. He’s mourned me and moved on. Revealing I’ve been alive this entire time? It’s… it’s cruel.”
“More cruel than staying dead?”
.-~*~-.
When Superman debuted, Barry wondered for the first time in nearly a decade if he could go home. He squashed down the thought, knew that he’s made a life here in this world, but for a fleeting hopeful moment, he imagined it.
He went to meet Superman one day, face hidden by a motorcycle helmet, speeding past him as he flew through the city.
Making a landing in front of Barry, ready for a fight, he’s instead met with a young man with powers beyond human ability. He’s not an alien like him, though he was from another world.
Superman was new to the whole being a hero thing and he appreciates having someone to lean on out in the field.
CatCo coined the name “The Blur” and from then on, the names became forever tied. Superman and The Blur, Metropolis’s heroes.
It’s easier for him to pretend that he too is an alien. Despite garnering a lot of questions also deterred a lot of other identity damning ones.
People made their own assumptions, imagining an inhuman face beneath the helmet, something that had to be hidden because he’s so recognizable without it.
Even Superman who knew that he wasn’t an alien didn’t know what he looked like beneath it. Barry was too influential, too known, and that came with its own dangers.
The Blur wasn’t invincible like Superman but made up with the magic he had learned from Lizzie and complete understanding of his speed and what he could do with it.
It’s a lot, balancing his studies and saving the city, but it’s worth every sleepless night and sitting sore in lecture halls.
Lena didn’t approve of him using his powers in this way, scared for his life and safety.
“There’s a reason she told you to keep them a secret!”
“I can’t just sit and watch when I could be out there helping. For once in my miserable fucking life in this world I feel like I’m actually doing something that matters.”
He regretted the words the moment he said but there’s no going back from them.
“Fine. You want to risk your life playing hero? It’s your death wish.”
Superman could tell that something had changed in The Blur after that, a hesitancy, a self-doubt.
And it only grew worse when Superman, no, when Clark became best friends with Lex.
Just when Barry had found something separate from the Luthors, something that he could call his own, something that wasn’t tainted by them and their toxic legacy, Lex just had to get involved.
That’s when Barry knew that Superman could never know who he was. Before, it was convenience, self-preservation. Now it’s a matter of his life being ruined and his only family put into danger.
The alien invasions grow more aggressive and so does Lex. His methods were never the most moral but they became cruel. It created a wedge between him and Clark, yet Superman defended him against the accusations that he had gone too far.
It created a rift between The Blur and Superman too.
“You can’t trust him, Clark. Lex Luthor is a selfish liar who only does what serves him and his goals.”
“How can you say that? You don’t even know him!”
“I know him better than you do.”
“How?! Lex is my best friend and he’s just… he’s just a little misguided. He’s afraid. These aliens are dangerous and they’re attacking his home.”
“Yeah? Well, what will you do when one day he decides that you’re too dangerous to keep around? What happens when he becomes afraid of you? Because scared men aren’t rational and they fight back with panic. When they’ve lost their power, lost their control, they fight until they come up on top.”
“He’s not like that. Lex… he’s not like that.”
“I hope you’re right, Clark. I really do.”
Lex doesn’t like The Blur. Doesn’t like that he doesn’t know what this alien looks like. Doesn’t like that he doesn’t understand the extent of his powers. Doesn’t like that he’s so close to Superman and can sway his opinion.
So Lex starts to dig. Starts to pry. Starts to look into things that Barry can’t let him.
And then, Lex starts to get too close to the truth, and he confronts The Blur the way he would confront Barry. Blunt, plain and simple, with scathing remarks and the promise of a threat.
It was in that moment that Barry knew he couldn’t stay.
The battle against the many races of aliens escaped from their captivity, all banded together to fight against Superman and The Blur, was brutal.
They were outnumbered and running on fumes but they managed to detain them all.
But Lex had his own plans. Their transportation to the prison was set to explode, countless bombs hidden under the vans.
The Blur got them all… but one.
Or so he made it seem.
So, in the heat of explosion, destroyed beyond recognition, The Blur was dead and Barry…
Barry had to get the fuck out of this city.
He graduated from undergrad and moved to National City to attend med school. For good measure, he changes his name back to Barry Allen, reclaiming his past that he had to bury and instead burying his connection to the Luthors, denouncing everything they raised him to be.
He luckily wasn’t in the media much, Lillian and Lionel preferring to advertise his existence as little as possible.
In his haste to fake his death and flee, he realizes with horror that he didn’t let Lena in on the secret of his survival.
When he calls her, she’s inconsolable, filled with regret from the years they spent not speaking, and promising to never let anything come between them.
It’s then that Barry finally comes clean about where he came from. Lena was too young to truly understand what had happened to Barry, but she was 16 now. She deserved to know.
She handled it surprisingly well, and the truth finally out there between them brought them even closer together.
Barry kept an eye on Lex and Superman. After The Blur’s death, Superman became disillusioned to what he believed to be Lex’s innocence and Lex turned on Superman, believing him to be the cause for alien terrorism, going as far to declare war on him.
Barry considered going back to Superman to help him, but he knew that a volatile Lex would only put him in more danger than before.
Instead, he threw himself into his studies.
Along the way, he met Alex Danvers, a young woman too smart for her own good, getting lost in her own vices of partying and drinking.
She tried to get him to drink with her once but he learned quickly that he couldn’t get drunk, nor could he get high, even off the hard stuff.
So, he was her designated driver, more bar babysitter as she destroyed herself more everyday.
She was a good friend when she was sober, even helping him with his schoolwork, her intellect buried beneath the thick fog of her depression.
One night, when she was just a little tipsy, not blackout wasted, she kissed Barry. Kissing quickly turned to more and by the end of it the both of them awkwardly pulled apart, lying beside each other, both feeling discomforted and unsatisfied.
“Was that…”
“Bad?” Barry asked. “Yeah.”
She laughed. “I’m glad it wasn’t just me.” She turned on her side, propping herself on her arm as she looked at him. “So… you too?”
“I guess so,” Barry said with a shrug. “I never really got the chance to… explore this kind of thing. The closest thing I had was a ridiculous crush on my coworker that never would have worked out.”
Hey, you try spending years in countless death-defying adrenaline-inducing hero partnership with the most gorgeous not-man in the world and try not to have a crush on him. He’s called Superman for a reason.
She laughed and held out her pinky. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”
He interlocked his pinky with hers. “Deal.”
And so, they were just friends. But then one day, Alex suddenly dropped out, seemingly just disappearing. Barry looked for her but couldn’t find a trail and with med school weighing on him, he eventually had to let her go.
Lena was thriving, building a start up at MIT with a Jack Spheer, and Barry was soon graduating and starting his internship.
The Blur was a distant memory. He had a new life now. It was a fling with heroism that he had to leave behind.
But now? Now, he’s not so sure.
.-~*~-.
When Barry returns to work the next shift, he finds himself bombarded by press, insistent and undeterred.
He's surprised to find himself suddenly barricaded by two people in black tactical gear, one surprisingly familiar.
They usher him through the hospital into a secluded storage room, leading him to what he thought was a normal wall but they press into the bricks as if it's a keypad and it opens a secret door.
"Wha— has that always been there?"
"Walk," the gruff man says, tugging Barry through a secret tunnel through the hospital.
"Alex," Barry starts.
"I'll explain everything, Barry. We just have to get you somewhere secure."
He doesn't exactly like getting into strange vans with people he doesn't know but he goes with them, trusting his old friend.
"I'm guessing this is because of Lex," Barry says.
"You never mentioned you were a Luthor."
"And you never mentioned you were secret spy."
Alex sighs. "I wasn't when we were in college."
The man beside her, who he has learned is called Hank Henshaw, cocks a brow.
"It's not like that," she says to Henshaw with an exasperated breath. "We are with an organization called the DEO."
"The Department of Extra-normal Operations," Henshaw adds.
"We were formed after Superman and The Blur's arrival on Earth to monitor extraterrestrial presence on the planet."
Oh, Barry was more than familiar with the DEO. They were an open secret to him and Superman, especially once Lex got involved.
"Your brother's—"
"Not my brother."
Henshaw huffs. "Lex Luthor's recent attacks over California has led to a thorough investigation on his operations."
"And you think, me, a doctor who works 60 hours a week has the time and energy to build earthquake machines on the side?"
"I think that you changed your name after the alien attacks on Metropolis and dropped off the map and that is suspicious behavior, especially for a man with connections to the Luthor fame and fortune."
He laughs bitterly. "If you think a single dime of that fortune is going to me, you'd be sorely mistaken. And they did everything they could to keep my name from being attached to theirs."
"Then you'd say you have a poor relationship with Lex?"
"I'd say that I haven't spoken to the man in five years and I'd like to keep it that way."
"Barry," Alex says softly. "If you know anything—"
"I don't know what you think your bad cop, old college friend cop act is going to achieve, when I'm telling you. I know nothing and knew nothing about Lex's plans. I found out it was happening when the victims of his destruction were being wheeled into my hospital. Now, if you don't mind, you can drop me off at my apartment or get me a lawyer."
They drop him off at his apartment.