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Will is so utterly exhausted.
His body feels heavy and tired, even though he’s been in a trance for the past few hours. He wants to fall asleep, but he’s half-convinced himself that the moment he closes his eyes, his vision will go permanently dark and never come back- or, even worse, he’ll wake up back in that place again.
So Will stays awake, thinking over… well, everything. The guilt in his chest about the kids, everything he saw, being back in that place…
Part of him wants to cry. It all makes his skin crawl. It’s almost too much.
See, William… You see what will happen, don’t you?
He feels conflicted. On one hand, he doesn’t want to give into Vecna- doesn’t want to give that son of a bitch the satisfaction.
He wants to tell people on his terms, wants to tell who he wants when he wants. Robin’s the only one who really knows, and… he hasn’t even officially told her, really. Not explicitly.
Will isn’t sure he’s ever said it explicitly.
The thing is, Will wants so desperately to help. He could help. He wishes he could go with the others- but in order to do that, he… needs to tell them.
It’s just two words. I’m gay. It should be simple.
It’s anything but simple.
Still, Will debates it. Could it somehow be on his terms, if he did it now?
Robin’s advice rings back, way back before everything went crazy. I was looking for answers in somebody else, but… I had all the answers. I just needed to stop being so goddamn scared. Scared of… who I really was. Once I did that, oh, I felt so free.
Will wants to believe it, wants to feel that weight lifted too. He already feels it, just from getting to know Robin these last few days. From having someone who understands.
It’s less about what Vecna showed him, and more about what Will wants. He wants to breathe free, he wants to be helpful, he wants the others to see him- really see him, all of him.
Will thinks he had been planning on doing this anyway. Just… maybe not during the end of the world. Maybe once things had calmed down a bit.
But… well, he wants to help. He wants to feel strong.
He wants to help kill Vecna. He’ll die, if he needs to. And if this helps? So be it.
But really, most of all, he really just wants to be seen.
Mike does as he asks and gathers the others- Dustin, Lucas, Max, El, and Jonathan. His mom waits nervously by his side, watching him carefully. They file into the radio station, with Lucas wheeling Max at the back. They all look a bit nervous, which is… fair, he supposes. It’s the end of the world.
Will’s nervous, too.
“Is everything okay?” Jonathan says immediately, looking between him and their mother.
“Yeah,” Will said quickly, forcing himself to take a deep breath. Now that they’re here, now that it’s time, his heart is pounding. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I wanted to tell you guys something.”
A beat of silence. “What is it, sweetie?” His mom leans forward, her brow furrowing as she watches him intently.
Okay.
Just two little words. I’m gay.
Will takes another deep, deep breath. He doesn’t want to just blurt it out, but he’s not sure how else to do it.
It all feels so fragile and terrifying, even though it’s his family- both blood and chosen. Out of everyone in the world, Will knows they would never hate him. They might not understand, but never… hate. Not after everything.
They can’t… right?
He refuses to give into that doubt. Into Vecna.
“I… I’ve wanted to tell you all this for a while,” Will starts carefully. “But I… it’s just- hard, I guess. I know there’s been a lot going on, and it’s not- I mean, it’s not super important, I guess, but…”
Except it is, to me. And except if I don’t tell you, I might lose you- lose everyone.
What is it Robin told him? I just needed to stop being so goddamn scared.
“You both know I’ve always been… different,” Will looks down at his hands, clenches them together nervously. He feels his breathing start to quicken and tries to calm himself, although it’s hard. “I didn’t- I didn’t want to be different, but… I am. Even… before the Upside Down. And when you’re different, it can be… terrifying to talk about.” Deadly, even.
“Vecna… he showed me visions. Visions where you all found out…” Will forces himself to explain, forces the words to keep going out. “We all stay friends for a while, I think… out of pity, but eventually we just begin to drift further and further apart, until eventually I’m all alone, forever.”
Will’s voice trembles. “But I- I don’t want him to be right. I don’t think he is right. I know you, and you know me- but… I want you to know all of me.” He pauses, then quickly adds, “I mean, you do- this doesn’t change who I am, or… or really anything about me. I don’t want you to- to think that I’m not me. I’m still the same boy who mixes Reese Pieces in the popcorn, who leaves crayons and markers over every table- who probably thinks about D&D too much and always wants to play way too late into the night, and who likes sneaking candy into movies… But also I just- I want you to know that I... I am…”
The words sit on the tip of his tongue. Just two little words- and then they would know. It would be out in the open, not just a thought inside of Will’s head. It would finally be real, after so long of being held back.
I’m gay.
Something flickers in Jonathan’s eyes and, with a swoop of his stomach, Will realizes that he knows. Oh-
Jonathan offers him a small smile and nods like it’s easy, like Will isn’t about to bare his soul. Still, it gives him a bit of comfort.
He survived the Upside Down by himself, killed three demogorgons, syphoned Vecna’s own powers and snapped one of his legs to save Max and Holly.
He can do this.
The words fall out, a bit shaky and wet.
“I’m gay.”
For a moment, Will can’t look at any of them. All he can do is stare at his trembling hands and listen to his own heart race like a drum.
I did it.
He swallows hard, trying desperately to keep his breathing steady. I… I actually said it. Now those two words exist in the air- in real life, not just inside the confines of Will’s head.
I’m gay.
Slowly, carefully, Will forces himself to look up.
Everyone is watching him carefully. His mom’s eyes are wide- she doesn’t look shocked or upset necessarily. More so just… kind of stunned. So is Dustin’s, honestly. Neither Max or Lucas looks particularly surprised. Eleven looks confused- she probably doesn’t know what the word means, honestly. And Mike…
Mike’s expression is totally blank. Unreadable.
Oh.
Shit. Will’s breath catches in his throat. His eyes move instinctively to Jonathan.
But Jonathan?
Jonathan just smiles at him, wider this time and full of… pride.
Pride.
He’s… proud.
And that… that makes Will choke on a shaky sob, his eyes suddenly welling with tears.
Oh.
And all at once, his mother is moving towards him. “Oh baby-” She’s crying now too as she engulfs him in a ferocious hug. Jonathan is there half a second later, and suddenly Will finds himself sandwiched between the two most important people in his life.
It startles a shaky sob out of him, but… Will finds he doesn’t care- he buries his face in his mom’s shoulder and cries.
The words are out. Will can never take them back now.
It’s terrifying. It’s a bit thrilling.
“Will- honey, I want you to listen to me, okay?” His mom insists, voice as firm and powerful as he’s ever heard it. He can't help but listen. “I love you. We all love you- every single part of you. There is absolutely nothing you can say or do that will ever change how I feel about you. Okay?” Her voice is feather-light. “Nothing, honey.”
“Me either,” Jonathan adds quickly. “We’re always here for you, Will. Always.” He presses a kiss to the side of Will’s head- and Will just about melts. He can’t help but let out another sob.
“Thank you. So much, for telling us,” Max’s voice is soft and careful. She’s smiling- Will can hear it in her voice.
“Yeah,” Lucas is the next to speak, nodding a little furiously. “Will, you… you’re our best friend. Nothing’ll change that.”
“We love you, man,” Dustin offers the first semi-real smile Will has seen from him since returning from Lenora.
“Yeah,” Mike’s words come out a bit stilted, like he’s forgotten how to speak or breathe. “We’re a party. Nothing tears us apart.”
Nothing.
Will hiccups and cries, trying to get control of his frantic breathing- but he can’t. He’s not panicking necessarily- but after the horrors of the past few days, it’s just all… spilling out.
And honestly, it feels good. Really, really good.
He feels a third pair of arms around him and somehow, instinctively, he knows they belong to Jane.
Together, his mother and his siblings hold him like he’s a child- and maybe he still is. And for once, Will doesn’t mind.
He knows it won’t last- that it can’t last, given what’s coming- but for the first time in far-too-long, he feels safe.
Will Byers is gay, and his mom’s hand strokes his hair, gently shushing him. He doesn’t like girls, and Jonathan’s hand is on his back, rubbing comforting circles. They all know, and they’re all still here anyways.
It almost feels too good to be true.
Slowly, Will starts to calm down, although his family doesn’t move. They stay squished together in a tight hug. He tries to memorize how it feels- the warmth, the glow of acceptance… Just saying it out loud to someone and hearing him be cool with it, you know? It’s like this weight lifted.
Will tries to take a deep breath.
He feels the lifted weight, a bit.
It turns out, Robin gives good advice, sometimes.
And in the end, it’s her who breaks up the moment. There’s a knock from the door, and they all turn to see Robin already poking her head in.
“Sorry… bad time?” She grimaces, then gestures with her head. “Hop says we’ve got to get a move on.”
Right. Okay… Will takes a deep breath, feels every member of his family do the same. He can’t help but wonder if this is the last time they’ll all be in the same room together, alive. If he’ll even live to face the repercussions of what he’s just admitted.
Will can’t quite get the look on Mike’s face out of his head.
They all start to get ready to go, although everyone insists on giving Will their own hug. It makes him start crying again, although much less hard. His mom kisses his forehead a thousand times. Jonathan has tears in his eyes.
Max can’t hug him herself, so he makes do with leaning down to hold onto her tight. "Tighter," she keeps saying, making him laugh. He really still can’t believe she’s really here, blinking and talking and smiling… Let alone that she knows I’m gay, and she still wants me to hug her anyways.
They all do.
Finally, Will turns to Mike. He doesn’t know if Mike will hug him- he did a few hours ago, but that was before this and… well, if Mike is smart, and Will knows he is, he’ll put it all together very quickly. Maybe he already has.
Maybe he’s disgusted and grossed out. Maybe he doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Maybe he hates me. Maybe-
Mike’s arms snap out and he practically yanks Will into a hug, wrapping him up so tight for a moment Will can’t breathe.
It’s silly, they hugged less than 24 hours ago, after Will saved Mike from the demogorgon. This is, objectively, exactly the same.
And yet, somehow, feels entirely different.
Mike clings onto him like he’s afraid Will will vanish. He buries his face in Will’s shoulder, breathing a little like he’s been running.
For a moment, Will doesn’t know what to do- he can’t move, can’t breathe, can only think- oh.
Will snaps his eyes shut, desperately fighting back his tears.
I love you, he thinks. Thank you, for everything you don’t know you’ve done.
Slowly, Will pulls back from the hug- and reluctantly, Mike does the same. His eyes find his mom immediately and he takes a deep breath. “I want to go with them,” he says softly. “He can’t use this against me anymore. I want to fight.”
It takes surprisingly less convincing than he would have assumed. Maybe his mom is just stunned- or maybe his stunt with Vecna had shown her he isn’t the baby she thought. But eventually she relents, allows him to grab a bag of supplies with the others and get ready to leave.
It's time to put an end to this.
To all of this.
But before he can leave the radio station, Mike stops him. “Will?”
Will can feel it coming. “Yeah?”
"Can I ask you something?"
Shit. Will shuts his eyes and braces himself. "Yeah?" He repeats
“I…” Mike swallows thickly. For a long, long moment, Will wonders if maybe he’s not going to say anything after all. But then, all at once, Mike blurts out, “How did you know?”
Oh.
Will’s heart skips and his gaze snaps back up to Mike’s. “What?”
Mike’s face twitches. “You just- you seem really sure. I guess I just wonder… how do you… know? That you are… you know. Gay,” he whispers the last word, like it’s a loaded gun that’ll set off at one loud noise.
Oh.
Will’s mouth falls open slightly. He’s torn between throwing up everywhere and just- laughing. “I… I think I’ve always known,” Will answers. “I guess I’ve just never really… felt that way. About girls.”
“Right.” Mike nods, looking down, his expression tight. It’s so clear he wants to say more, Will just lets him stew in silence for a moment, waiting. Then- “You’ve… never liked a girl? Ever?”
Will isn’t sure what to say for a second. I… just said that. “No. I haven’t.”
“Oh.” Mike swallows. "Okay." Nods again.
There’s another long moment where Will wonders if their conversation is done. But then, comes the question Will isn’t expecting in the least- so quiet he barely hears it.
“Do you know… if... can you like... both?”
Oh.
Will’s brain stalls out. Burns out like a bad battery. Goes up in smoke.
Why is he asking me this?
It’s an innocent enough question, sure, but… There’s a look on his face, in his eye- it almost makes Will feel a little dizzy.
“I… Yeah, I mean, I think so,” he shrugs, trying to seem non-chalant. “I think… you can decide what you like. You know, like- the royal you,” Will adds quickly.
“Yeah. The royal you. Right.” Mike nods again and his eyes flicker back up, lingering undeniably on Will’s lips before returning to his eyes.
The silence between them almost immediately grows thick.
Will has no idea what’s happening, what Mike is trying to say. Or rather- he thinks he might know, but he doesn’t dare to believe it.
Can you like both?
It seems… impossible. Far too good to be true. Will knows he’s destined to be in love with Mike Wheeler- its practically written in his DNA at this point.
But… could there be any possibility that maybe- just maybe- the feeling is… mutual?
He breathes very carefully- in and out, in and out. He wonders what Mike is thinking. He wonders if Mike can hear his heart beat.
I just needed to stop being so goddamn scared.
Will takes a deep breath. Then- “Mike?”
…just as Mike whispers, “Will?”
Oh.
“Shit-”
“Shit-”
Mike lets out a quiet, breathless laugh. “Sorry, you can-”
Will’s heart skips uselessly. “No, no, you first,” he blurts.
“Oh-” Mike pauses and swallows. Will hears it, sees his throat bob- but Mike’s eyes never leave his. “I... I think… that maybe…”
His words trail off and he looks so scared Will isn’t sure he’s going to finish his sentence. But then he shuts his eyes and swallows again, as if trying to swallow his fear.
And he does. “I think… I might.”
Oh.
Will understands what Mike means all at once, with a sudden clarity. And suddenly, he’s stopped breathing.
Mike might like both.
Will’s eyes instinctively trace Mike’s face, trying to search for the answers in every sharp line and edge. He’s spent what feels like his whole life staring at Mike Wheeler in search of answers- he could draw him from memory, probably has a thousand times.
There’s such a beauty to his features, like what Will imagines that of a Greek God. Maybe just about any God- or maybe he’s just biased.
He wonders if this means what he thinks it means. If he could dare to dream. If he even should dare to dream, given what he knows…
Will Vecna use him? Take Mike, break him into a thousand pieces, make Will watch?
Will he do that anyway?
It all feels like a game of chess. Will doesn’t want to play- has tried to back out a thousand times, except he and his friends have somehow become the game pieces. Vecna wants to take them all, no matter how important. He wants to destroy- destroy everything and everyone to “create”.
It’s easy to make reckless decisions in the face of the end of the world. It’s even easier coming off of that honesty high- of finally saying the words I’m gay out loud- of hearing Mike Wheeler utter the words I think I might.
All in all, it might be better than truth serum.
Will takes a few steps closer and Mike’s eyes flutter open, immediately jumping up to meet him. There’s such an innocence in the way he looks back at Will- with wide, gorgeous eyes. It takes his breath away and, for a moment, neither of them say anything. They just… look at each other in silence.
Are you thinking the same thing I am? Will’s heart pounds in his throat. Was… was I wrong all this time? Are we… the same?
“Will,” Mike breaks the silence, his voice little more than a whisper and tinged with desperation. “How… How did you know?” It almost sounds like he’s begging, pleading for an answer.
Will’s played it safe for so long. And now… now the world is ending.
Is there really any use, anymore?
“I had a crush on a boy,” Will answers back, purposefully dumbing it down. ‘Crush’ doesn’t even really begin to cover it. And ‘had’ implied it’s over. “Growing up.”
Mike’s breath catches. His eyes practically sparkle, like a spattering of stars they might never live to see again.
“I... I think... me too.”
Oh.
Hope blossoms in Will’s chest. It’s warm and a little bit giddy.
Mike takes a little step in, closing the distance between them. Will wonders if he’s dreaming. “You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” Mike whispers, eyes wide. Will thinks he can see hope in them.
Will feels what little resolve he has left begin to crack. Vecna is about to attack, they’re about to attack Vecna, he just came out to his friends and family, Mike Wheeler said he might like both girls and boys, and Will-
Will Byers wants.
He wants so badly to be right. To have this one thing, before he maybe dies. Before Mike maybe dies- before the world fully ends.
“Mike,” he whispers- an answer to his question, and a question in itself. His heart is pounding.
Instantly, Mike understands- or maybe they always understood, they’ve just been dancing around it. Something melts in his gaze. “Will,” he whispers back.
Will feels a little insane. Like he’s going crazy.
If we’re both going crazy, we’ll go crazy together, right?
Mike takes another step closer. Will can feel the air between them, can practically feel Mike breathing. They’re so close they’re practically touching. Will is so unbelievably enthralled, tracing the lines of Mike’s face and the curls sticking out from under his beanie, that he almost misses what Mike says.
He doesn’t, though. How could he?
“Will,” Mike murmurs, that edge of desperation back in his voice. “Can I kiss you?”
Oh.
Will doesn’t want to think twice. So he doesn’t.
He takes the risk.
“Yes.”
Slowly, like he’s afraid, Mike cups either side of Will’s face in his hands, the way Will’s always wanted to be held. Will inhales, stops breathing- he watches as Mike’s eyes practically glaze over.
Oh my god.
Then, at once, he’s moving- they’re both moving, leaning in to press their lips together.
And-
Oh.
Will’s head spins. He’s never kissed anyone before- only ever dreamed about kissing one boy, and now… now it’s happening.
He’s aware he probably isn’t doing it right, but it doesn’t seem like Mike cares. In fact, Mike all but immediately melts into the kiss with a moan, and Will feels his hands settle on his waist. He’s thankful for it- without it, without holding onto Mike, Will feels a bit untethered, like he’s about to fly away.
Is this real is this real this can’t be real-
It’s a snowball rolling into an avalanche- it’s an exploding pipe. It’s 10 years of unspoken, pent up emotion bursting out in one messy, sudden kiss.
It’s heady. It’s glorious.
It’s beautiful.
It’s Mike.
Will doesn’t know who will still be alive in 24 hours. He doesn’t know if anyone will be, really- if they even stand a remote chance against Vecna. It might all fall apart before it’s even had time to begin. There is absolutely no telling what will happen.
But Will does know a few things for absolute certain. He’s stronger than Vecna thinks he is- he’s stronger than he thinks he is.
He’s a sorcerer- a real life, honest to god sorcerer, thank you very much.
He has his friends and family who love him, who will always love him.
And he has… Mike, who has always been there for him- Mike, who is more than friend and more than family.
He is stronger than Vecna. He’s far more than a vessel, than a pawn to be pushed around in Vecna’s intricate game of chess.
He’s going to help his friends win this war. He’s strong. He’s brave. He’s alive.
He’s Will Byers.