Chapter Text
In the distance boisterous, obnoxious laughter could be heard in pale yellow light and warmth of the living room where four joyful young men sat seated around a table full of empty wine bottles.
“You mean you don’t love him? That Chu Wanning?”
Mo Ran laughed and shook his head, “let me ask you this, who would love that old man?” With that sentence all of Mo Ran’s other peers started to laugh harder before the subject was changed to more mockery and humiliation for Chu Wanning who had been standing outside that room with a bowl of steaming wontons in his hands, staring blankly at the polished floor beneath him. He listened quietly to the comments shifted to his attitude, behaviors and other humiliating words that were more prominent with every drop of tear that slid down his face.
How stupid. He loved for free, he had given his heart to someone who heard all of Chu Wanning’s personal stories, concerns and secrets, only for him to spill it out with a laugh that Chu Wanning would have found lovely.
Of course he doesn’t love you, he thought.
Who would love a man like him.
Chu Wanning didn’t what happened. He had dropped the ceramic bowl with wontons on the floor, causing the men inside to get startled and check the door, next second he ran away with a Mo Ran calling out for him.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
How could he be this stupid??
His heart beat faster than usual, not in a pit of love but now a pure pit of miserable sadness that he had locked in there only to give the key to Mo Ran. Xue Meng was right, Mo Ran wasn’t a good person at all. If only he listened and kept Xue Meng’s warnings about his older cousin to heart then maybe, just maybe, none of this would have occurred in the first place.
There were those born with love, for love and died with love like Shi Mei who was a better choice than Chu Wanning who was, in contrast, born with nothing, for nothing and die with nothing.
His heart ached to even live anymore with every secret he held onto had just been spilt by the person he oh-so loved.
‘Look Wanning, doesn’t that cat look adorable?’ ‘Aiyah Baobei I didn’t eat your sweets.’
‘Chu Wanning you were always a means to end.’
Memories of the sweet time of ignorance of bliss they spent together were all one-sided, Mo Ran who had confessed to liking Chu Wanning had revealed himself to be yet another one of the men Ye Wangxi had despised. Where could he go? Who could he go to?
Nangong Si? Yes he would take Chu Wanning into his house and hear about his troubles, most likely to, alongside Xue Meng and Ye Wangxi, confront Mo Ran and beat him up for daring to hurt his heart.
Xue Zhengyong? Madam Wang?
No, No. This was all Chu Wanning’s fault, he hadn’t listened to Xue Meng, Ye Wangxi and Nangong Si’s warning relating to Mo Ran, who he thought to be a kind youth with twin pools of sweetness that would show with every smile he gave, kind dark eyes with hints of purple.
He should have seen the signs; they were right in front of him. Mo Ran holding Shi Mei’s waist, spending most of his time with Shi Mei; Chu Wanning should have trusted his instincts. He knew he couldn’t have, Mo Ran kept on speaking to him in a soft tone and getting upset of him for being too controlling by keeping him away from his friends.
Of course Mo Ran wouldn’t love him, who would?
Whatever happened to their love? He wished he understood. It seemed Mo Ran had been out of reach since their first meeting, the happy days seemed to be fleeting.
He didn’t notice till he stopped at a bridge that his body was aching all over, inside and outside. Chu Wanning stared into the eternal water reflecting his hideous self, the moon casting a glance and sparing him everlasting ethereal glow.
It was calling him.
“Wanning!!”
A hand reached out to grab him, just faintly touching the fabric of his shirt before he jumped into the body of water.
His vision faded as he shared a sweet kiss with death, lost in passion.
Ba-dump
Ba-dump..
“Wanning..”
A voice whispered.