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Hearing Will say, "I don't like girls," makes Mike think of that fight in the rain, and he can't believe he threw it in his best friend's face like that. He can't believe he was so heartless. But then Will keeps going.
"And I had this crush on someone even though I know - I know they're not like me," Will says, and his eyes are on Mike. They're full of tears, but he looks at Mike with so many different emotions behind his eyes; fear, resignation, acceptance. Love?
Mike knows Will is talking about him. Things start to fall into place in Mike's mind, things he had never been able to make sense of before. That summer. The fight. Spring break. The painting. The pizza van.
Mike hopes his face doesn't give too much away, other than support.
Will's eyes leave Mike and look at Robin. Mike tries not to feel like he's lost something.
"But then I realized he's just my Tammy. And by Tammy, I mean it was - it was never about him, it was - it was about me. And I thought I was finally okay with myself."
Just my Tammy? Mike thinks, confused. What does that mean? Mike is just someone will used to have a crush on?
Will is talking about Vecna showing him horrible things, things that could never happen, and then Joyce and Jonathan are reassuring Will, Jonathan pulling him into a hug. Lucas is the first member of the party to get his ass in gear and agree, and it takes Dustin speaking too for Mike to realize he hasn't said anything yet.
They stay in their group hug, feeling Will's shoulders shake and hearing him try to get his tears under control. When they break away, Will goes to hug Max as well. Mike watches him cross the room, watches him embrace their friend, and Mike is so, so proud of Will.
But he's also terrified.
Will turns to Eleven, saying they need someone on the ground to fight Vecna.
"I need to be there," he says. "And I'm ready. I'm ready to show him I'm not afraid anymore."
Wills eyes flit around to all of them, but Mike is just looking at him. How can Will say he isn't afraid? How can he really mean it? Mike has been afraid since Will went missing. Maybe before that.
I know they're not like me, Will had said. And it's true. Isn't it? Mike isn't like Will, not like that.
Right?
Yeah, right. Mike isn't like that. Mike definitely likes girls, so he's definitely not like Will. Mike tries desperately to feel like he isn't lying to himself.
*
This is only Mike's second time in the Upside down, the first time being earlier that day. So much of his life over the last few years has revolved around it, but Mike hadn't been there himself.
He trapses along with everyone else, trying to convince himself that it's no different from the tunnels. Robin and Will are a couple people ahead of him in the procession, separated by Dustin and Steve in front of Mike, and Joyce and Hopper in front of them, Kali and El in the lead. Lucas is quiet next to him for a while. Mike can see Robin saying something to Will, and it makes Will laugh. Here, in the place where Will was taken and trapped all those years ago, Robin can make him laugh.
A day or two ago, Mike had been quietly simmering over Will and his new best friend Robin. He thought maybe he'd been wrong about his best friend all this time, that maybe Will had finally found a girl he liked. But no, obviously not. Will and Robin are just friends.
And shouldn't that be worse? Shouldn't Mike be afraid that Robin will steal his best friend? Why was he more upset when he thought Will liked her that way?
"So," Lucas says quietly, pulling Mike from his head. He smacks Dustin in the back of his jacket. "Will is gay. Did you guys know?"
Dustin turns to look at them with wide eyes.
"Dude, I had no clue," he says, turning back around to watch where he's walking, but Mike can see he's still listening.
"Really?" Lucas asks, shocked.
"Did you know?" Mike asks, unable to stop himself.
"Not for sure, obviously, but I had a feeling. I thought maybe he just had other things on his mind, but..."
"But what?" Mike presses, but Dustin doesn't seem to hear him or care about what Lucas was going to say.
"I never even thought about it," Dustin continues. "I knew gay people existed, like in theory, but I didn't think there were any in Hawkins."
Beside him, Steve lets out a laugh. Dustin and Lucas both turn their eyes on him. Dustin's eyes widen again.
"Oh, is that why you and Robin never-"
"Shhh," Steve says, louder than they were talking. "None of your business, Henderson."
That's confirmation enough for Mike. After meeting Vickie, Mike is pretty sure they're together. Why else would she be involved, other than having seen those Demos in the hospital.
"So how did you know about Will?" Dustin asks over his shoulder.
From the corner of his eye, Mike sees Lucas turn to look at him. Mike can't help the way his face heats up under the scrutiny, but he doesn't return the look.
"I picked up on it the summer Starcourt happened," Lucas says cryptically.
"That long?" Dustin says. Lucas just shrugs, and Dustin looks at Mike. "What about you?"
"What about me?" Mike squeaks.
"Did you know?"
Before Mike can think of anything to say in response, a voice speaks from behind him, and Mike almost jumps.
"Technically, none of you knew until he told you," Jonathan says. "Anything else is just guessing."
Clearly they had all forgotten about Nancy and Jonathan pulling up the rear, but Mike is grateful for the interruption. Dustin and Lucas fall silent, and Mike is thankful, but he can still feel eyes on him. When he turns to look, he sees Nancy staring at him, a searching look on her face.
Mike makes an annoyed face in response and she sticks out her tongue at him. He sees her exchange a look with Jonathan that's way too knowing. Nancy can't possibly know anything, because Mike doesn't know anything.
Not that there's anything to know.
*
There is a surprising amount of down time once they get there. Hopper is with El and Kali in the lab, and Joyce is in charge of the rest of them, waiting around at the base of the radio tower. Dustin and Lucas are with Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan talking strategy for when the world-fusing begins, and Will is off to the side with Joyce, eating snacks and resting to make sure his battery is fully charged.
Mike approaches the two of them and says, "Ms. Byers?"
She looks up at him with her kind eyes that look so much like Will's.
"Yeah, hon?"
"Would you mind if I talked to Will for a second?"
Joyce looks to Will and he nods his head, so she gets up and heads over to the others. Will smiles up at Mike softly.
"What's up?" He asks.
"We just haven't had a chance to talk. I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for telling us," Mike says as he sits on the roof in front of Will.
Will's eyes looks glossy as he says, "Oh. That-that really means a lot. Especially from you. Thanks."
"Thank you. For trusting all of us, but also... For being so brave."
"Brave?"
"I know you only told us so that Vecna couldn't use it against you, and I'm sorry you couldn't decide when to tell us for yourself. But you did it so that we have a chance against Vecna, so that you can save all of us. And if that's not brave, I don't know what is," Mike finishes, placing his hand on Will's upper arm.
Will looks down at where they're touching, and then looks back up to search Mike's face.
"If I'm brave," Will says, "it's because I have all of you guys standing behind me. You, and Lucas and Dustin, and Max and El, and Robin. My mom, Jonathan. There's no way I could be this brave without all of you. Especially you, Mike."
"Especially me?" Mike asks, heart in his throat.
Will laughs at that, a little sad, but not only sad. "Yeah, Mike. Especially you."
"You make me feel brave too, Will," Mike whispers between them.
Will's eyebrows furrow. "Do I?"
"Yes. Watching you tell everyone about yourself like that, even though it obviously terrified you, it made me think..." Mike trails off.
"Think what?"
"Think that maybe I could be that brave too," he admits.
Will sucks a quick breath in through his nose. "What-what are you saying, Mike?"
In the back of his mind, Mike remembers himself sitting in a hospital waiting area and saying No regrets.
"I do- I do like girls, I think," Mike says, voice shaking. "But I think I like this boy."
"Mike," Will says, with warning in his voice, but Mike ignores it.
"This boy with hazel eyes and nice lips, who is braver than anyone I've ever met."
"Mike please, don't. If you don't mean this-"
"I do. I do mean it. Will," Mike insists, urgently. His hands come up to hold Will's arms, letting one of his thumbs rub a gentle circle into Will's hoodie.
"You know, right?" Will asks. Mike knows what he means, but Will clarifies anyway. "That I was talking about you?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm really sorry that I was such a dick the last few years. You were so open about how strongly you felt about me, and that terrified me," Mike tells him. "But you make me want to be brave."
"What about El?"
"I love her," Mike says, and he watches Will's face drop. "But not like that. Not like I love you."
Will's face crumples even further, and Mike thinks he fucked up. He leans back a couple inches and begins to stutter. "I- I mean."
"I love you, too," Will says, but he looks like he's going to cry.
"Does that make you sad?" Mike asks, one hand moving from Will's arm to grip at his shoulder.
"No! No, it doesn't make me sad, I just. I didn't think this could ever happen," Will admits, blinking rapidly and trying to make his tears dry up.
"It's only happening because you were brave first," Mike says.
Will laughs and loses the battle with his tears. They come streaming down his face, wetting his cheeks and tinging his eyes red.
"You're going to win this fight," Mike tells him, and Will nods his agreement. "You and El are going to defeat Vecna and save the world."
"We are," Will confirms, eyes like steel.
"And then, when it's all over, we're gonna get the fuck out of the Upside down, and when we no longer have an audience, I'm going to kiss you."
"Fuck, Mike. Now I have to win," Will says with a lopsided grin.
"Now you have to win? You didn't want to win before?" Mike asks through his own grin. It reminds him of Will asking if he thinks he's evil and hellbent on ending the world. Were they flirting then? They're definitely flirting now.
"Of course I did. I wanted it. But now I know I can do it. How could he stop me?"
Mike looks into Will's eyes, and he believes it. He believes in Will.
"Mike! Will!" Lucas's voice calls out from across the roof, and he's pointing at the sky. "It's starting!"
"Showtime," Mike says, standing and holding his hand out for Will. "Ready?"
Will grabs his hand and uses it to stand, but he doesn't let go right away. He looks at Mike and smiles.
"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's do this."