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Wally stares at the front door.
It's late.
Later than he's ever allowed to stay up on a school night.
He's not sure why he's hesitating now.
It's not like his dad's going to get any less angry at him.
He pulls his hand back from where he's about to knock on the door.
That's wrong.
His dad could always get more angry.
The healing bruises on his arms are proof of that.
Wally sits on the steps, not quite ready to step away, but unable to bring himself to knock.
He laughs, bringing his head into his hands, and it quickly turns into tears.
He forces himself to inhale sharply.
He can't cry.
He can't.
He's managed to last this long without any tears.
He's not going to finally cry on his birthday.
It's going to be a good one. It will be! His dad being a shithead isn't anything new, so why should that affect his birthday?
He's going to have the best day.
He has plans with Rob!
Dick had managed to convince B to let him stay over. They’re gonna go out downtown, grab milkshakes and fries, and hit up the arcade.
It's going to be a good day.
He's not going to let a stupid argument with his dad ruin things.
He shivers, hands coming to rub his arms to warm himself up.
Having a winter birthday is definitely one of his biggest pet peeves of life.
He's always been jealous of Dick for having a summer birthday. Not that he did anything with it. But if Wally had had a summer birthday, he definitely would have a beach party. He's still trying to convince Dick to have one.
He watches his next huff turn into condensation, the mist dispersing and floating away from him.
He used to try to make shapes like he'd seen his mom do with cigarette smoke, but it never worked out for him.
He tries again now, just for the fun of it, and his shoulders sag as he once again fails.
"You can't do anything right, you selfish asshole."
Wally shudders.
He can't listen to his dad.
He can't.
His dad is just an arrogant piece of shit who's main goal in life is to make Wally miserable.
He groans, throwing his head back and kicking a loose piece of snow.
He needs to calm the fuck down.
It's his birthday.
He can be angry about his dad later.
Today is for him and for him alone.
He tries not to think about how that further proves his dad's point about him being selfish.
The front door creaks open and Wally freezes, leg still awkwardly hung in the air from where he'd kicked the snow.
His head is upside down as he looks to see his Uncle Barry looking down at him, blue eyes warm with concern.
Wally immediately tries to come up with an excuse as to why he's sitting on his porch at one o'clock in the morning without any warning and fails.
For someone whose thoughts run constantly at 50 miles per hour, he can be real slow sometimes.
"Uh, hi." Wally says dumbly, head still hung upside down.
He holds his breath, waiting to be chewed out, or at the very least questioned, but Barry stays quiet for once, instead taking a seat next to him on the stairs.
"You know, I was going to surprise you by picking you up before school tomorrow morning, but I guess this works too."
Wally doesn't get up, not yet, just angles his head so he can make eye contact with Barry, even if it is an incredibly awkward angle.
Barry smiles at him, eyes fond. "Happy birthday, kiddo.”
Wally smiles back sheepishly. “Thanks, Uncle Bare.”
“Did I get to be the first one to say it?"
"Rob got you beat, unfortunately. I swear he came up with some sort of program to ensure I got his message first."
Barry huffs, amused. "I should've figured that. Am I at least the second?"
Wally finally sits up properly, ducking his head. "Yeah. You are."
Wally stares forward, too scared of what Barry's expression holds. He's quiet, despite his thoughts running a million miles an hour.
He's not sure what to say. Everything he thinks of just feels wrong.
Coming here was a mistake.
Barry nudges him gently, breaking his thoughts. "What's on your mind, kiddo?"
Wally shrugs, eyes darting around, trying to find something to latch onto. They land on a discarded wrapper. He can't believe people still have the gull to litter.
Barry nudges him again. "You sure you don't wanna talk about why you're sitting on my porch at one in the morning and didn't bother to knock?"
Wally shrugs again.
He doesn't want to drag his uncle into this more than he already has. He knows the last few weeks have been rough for him. He shouldn't have to worry about Wally's shit. Even if it is his birthday.
Wally doesn't want to be any more selfish than he already has.
"It's fine. I'm sorry for not warning you about coming."
Wally sees Barry frown from the corner of his eye and he bites his tongue. Why can he never seem to say anything right?
"Hey. You don't have to apologise for that. You do know you're always welcome here, right?"
Wally doesn't answer. The cold air is making his eyes sting all of a sudden.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
"Hey," Barry nudges him again and this time Wally does turn to look. Barry stares at him, eyes piercing into his soul, and he looks so genuine it hurts. "You're always welcome here, Wally. You never have to ask for permission. This is as much as your home, as it is Iris and mine's."
Wally takes a breath, trying to hide the fact that it's a sniffle. "Thanks, Uncle Bare."
Barry frowns, and then opens his arms, the invitation as clear as day.
Wally doesn't hesitate, letting himself be folded in, and it doesn't take long for the tears to finally break through.
He feels so bad. Barry doesn't even know what's going on, but he doesn't say anything, just soothingly runs a hand along Wally's arm.
"It's okay. You're okay. Let it out, just let it out." Barry repeats this a few times, holding him steady, and it only serves to make Wally cry harder.
Wally is so lucky to have him in his life.
Wally also feels so damn unlucky that he's only in his life part time.
You should've been my dad instead.
He doesn't say it aloud, but he thinks it, squeezing onto Barry tighter.
He's not sure how long they stay like that, but eventually his sobs slow down, and he pulls back far enough, just to breathe.
He stays peeled to Barry's side though, and Barry keeps an arm around him.
"I'm sorry," Wally whispers.
Barry shakes his head. "You don't have to apologise."
Wally sniffs, rubbing his eyes. "I feel like I have to."
"For what?"
"For getting your shirt messy. For showing up unannounced at one am. For making your life way more annoying than it had been before."
"You did not." Barry is quick to argue. "You have only made my life better."
"You're just saying that because it's my birthday," Wally says, with another sniffle and a wry smile.
"I am not," Barry says, and he can hear the annoyance in his voice, but it sounds... light, nothing like how his dad sounds whenever he has to deal with Wally. "I'm saying that because it's the truth."
Barry turns Wally so he's making eye-contact with him, and he gently pokes the middle of his forehead. "You are the brightest kid I know."
Wally's eyes dart away again.
"You know, I didn't want kids before I met you." Wally's eyes whip back to Barry's. "I never had anything against them... I just. I had my own goals. I wanted to focus on myself, my own career. Kids just seemed like... too much of a hassle."
It's Barry's turn to look away, and he looks reminiscent, lost in thought for a moment, before he turns back.
"Then I met you."
Wally's breath catches.
"You were immediately the funniest kid I had ever met. The words that had come out of your mouth—I had to confirm with Iris that I wasn't hallucinating."
Wally feels his face heat up a bit. He's heard of the jokes younger him thought were funny.
They were not funny in the slightest.
Barry continues on. "You walk into a room and it just... lights up. Kid, I don't think you know how incredible you are. Your never-ending optimism. You provide hope when everyone else has given up ten tries ago. You're smart, dangerously so, but you never cease to stop making me proud."
"Uncle Barry—" Wally tries to interrupt, because this is quite frankly going too far. He's going to be a big puddle of goo by the end of this.
"You are amazing. I..." Barry trails off, and great, now he's crying too. "I'm so lucky I know you. You make my life so much better. Every day I'm so grateful your aunt trusted me enough to meet you, and still trusted me after the accident."
Wally tries to come up with something to say, but he can't, so he opts to bury his face into Barry's chest again.
Wally feels Barry press a kiss to the top of his head. "I love you so much, kiddo."
"I love you too," Wally mumbles into his chest. “Thank you.”
Barry squeezes him in tighter. “Anytime.”
They stay for a little while longer, but eventually Barry manages to coax Wally inside, and Iris is waiting for him.
“Happy birthday, munchkin.” Iris pulls him into a hug and nearly squeezes the life out of him.
“Thanks, Aunt Iris.” Wally says, once they pull apart.
She ruffles his hair. “Don’t wait to be invited in next time, okay?”
Before he can say anything, she reaches over to grab something and places it into the palm of his hand.
He looks down to see a key. “I—Aunt Iris.”
“No buts. You have a key. I expect you to use it.”
“I—Thank you. Really.”
She pulls him in for another hug, kissing the top of his head. “Of course.”
Barry comes up to them after they pull apart. “Alright, I think it’s time for you to get some sleep. You do still have school tomorrow.”
Wally groans. “Ugh, don’t remind me.”
Barry wraps an arm around his shoulder. “You’ll have fun.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re a weirdo who actually enjoys school.”
“Are you forgetting that you like school too?”
“Not on my birthday.”
“Come on, let’s get you to bed, grumpasaurous.”
Wally rolls his eyes, but lets Barry guide him upstairs to his room.
Wally just barely manages to gather the strength to change into pjs, and then he crawls into bed, Barry tucking him in even though he really doesn’t have to.
As Barry pulls away after saying goodnight, Wally tugs on his sleeve. He’ll blame this on being half-asleep the next morning, but he finds himself asking Barry, “Can you stay?”
Barry softens. “Of course.”
Barry sits on the bed next to Wally and Wally quickly latches on, head in his lap.
“Thank you, again. For everything.”
“You’re welcome, kid. Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Barry begins gentle ministrations in his hair and Wally falls asleep soon after.