Chapter Text
She's so worried about starting school that she stays up all night and ends up looking dead on her feet at King's Cross.
Ms. Spielsdorf, their caretaker, takes the trio by car to the station. She's probably the nicest person to ever work for them; Mattie personally handpicked her somewhere in her travels, and offered a large sum for taking care of the younger Karnsteins. Sadly, even her biting sarcasm and jokes can't make up for the fact that Mattie couldn't come, and that they're some of the only kids without their parents.
But Ms. Spielsdorf is kind enough to help them load their baggage into carts and to take them out to the entrance. She's not a witch, though – the only squib in her family – so she can't quite bring herself to go inside. JP offers a teary goodbye, hugging her torso; the other two siblings only nod, Will with a slight smile.
Platform 9 3/4 is packed. Tiny wizards romper about, their enormous trunks causing the racket that immediately hits them. A tall man in the middle of the crowd directs lost students to the train.
The trio efficiently weaves their way through the crowd, moving as an unit, and in less than half and hour they're seated in one of the back cabins. Carmilla curls up on a window seat with Will, while JP uses the free seat by him to put his feet up.
Carmilla chooses to spend the ride sleeping, with Will and JP prattling in the background. Somewhere in the first minutes of leaving the station, a group of people ask to sit; she doesn't open her eyes, tuning them out just as quickly as she does her brothers. One of them, though, has a crackling voice, like tinfoil being folded up, and it starts to bug her so much that she frowns in her sleepy state.
It's not until the train finally pulls up that she looks up; a pair of gingers sit by JP- they greet her with too much enthusiasm, and her slow mind only musters up a nod.
Maybe she offended them. That's all right.
After changing into their robes, the group files out of the Hogwarts Express. Unsurprisingly, once the first years are all set up in a line, the lack of upperclassmen is even more noticeable. Which, surely, is to be expected- Hogwarts has been somewhat avoided by many wealthy families, in favor of sending their children off to Durmstrang or Beauxbatons.
At least, the fact that they're here means there might be a good amount of trust reacquired.
“I thought it was a joke,” Will says, as they descend to the lake. “We actually have to row to the castle?”
JP shrugs. “I guess. Sounds fun.”
Will glares at his brother, who just smiles in that wholesome way only he gets away with. Carmilla stifles a yawn and points forward.
“Maybe someone falls. That'd be fun.”
“Wishing for death on the first day? Kitty, you're really setting your goals high.”
“Not death, necessarily- maybe the squid catches them or something. It'd be funny.”
They squeeze into a tiny boat, still debating the morals of knocking someone into the water. JP is against it, simply because he doesn't see the point; Will thinks it would be fun but not worth being caught; and Carmilla can't reach anyone with her oar, so she ends up giving up.
Her smart-ass reply gets lost in her lungs as the enormous silhouette of Hogwarts appears. A smattering of lit rooms and escaping rays of light illuminates the dark night; it's so beautiful that a couple of kids around them gasp and point.
Her astonishment continues as they leave the lake for the front gates. A professor opens the door with some difficulty; the groundskeeper helps her, his coat managing to catch some first-years' heads and shoulders. After that, they're let into the largest room Carmilla has ever seen- the ceiling goes up and up, until she can't count all the stories.
But they hardly have time for that; the ceremony was supposed to have started already, and the clueless students are hurried into the Great Hall.
Carmilla's neck is going to be sore from all this looking up; the stars look beautiful on the ceiling, presiding over them with quiet wisdom. She looks for a bit too long, though; they suddenly stop walking and she bumps into someone. With the apology ready on her tongue, she meets the hostile eyes of a tall girl.
Still, she apologizes, because Mattie didn't raise her to be impolite.
“Welcome back,” McGonagall begins. A hush falls over the crowd. “To another year at Hogwarts.”
She continues her announcements, but Carmilla's focus wanes as nervousness creeps in. By Her right, JP grasps for her hand- Will does the same by her left, as the Karnsteins stare at the tattered hat sitting in front of them.
“Doesn't matter where we end up,” she says under her breath. “We're not-”
“Yeah,” the two reply in unison. Will adds, “We're better.”
She's worried not only for herself, but for Will and JP. Will is quiet and aloof like her, but he really carries his heart on his sleeve- and JP has always been so innocent and warm. If something happens- if she can't stay with either of them...
When a professor starts calling out names, her stomach churns.
Something odd happens, as they reach the letter 'H'. A tingle in her spine startles her out of her tense state and makes her look up, just as the professor calls out the next name.
“Hollis, Laura!”
A girl, shorter than one would expect an 11-year old to be, skips up to the stool. Her hair catches the light from the candles, shining as she spins to sit. Then it disappears inside the hat, the rim going down to the girl's nose. It stays there, for longer than it had anyone before, and even some upperclassmen start whispering after a while.
“Hufflepuff!” it finally says.
The girl smiles wide, hopping off her seat and taking off the hat. She sits at her table with a pretty twinkle in her eyes- she meets Carmilla's gaze by accident, and Carmilla ducks, cheeks flaming.
They speed through the rest of 'H' and 'J', and sooner than she'd like, they reach their names.
“Karnstein, Carmilla!”
The whispers and laughs stop, as she imagined they would. Steeling herself up, Carmilla walks up with a straight back and cold eyes.
“Well, well, well,” the Sorting Hat says when she puts it on. “A Karnstein at last.”
Her panic must shine through to it, for the tone of the next words is lighter.
“I will not sort you for your family's past. However, you are more of a Slytherin than many of your ancestors ever were.”
“I am not them,” she thinks back forcefully. “I am not my mother.”
“Slytherin!”
The word echoes throughout the Great Hall. With a stuttering breath, she takes the hat off to meet the unseeing eyes of the audience- unseeing for they now look for the ghost of Lilith. But Carmilla isn't her- Lilith is dead ; and yet the children she left behind have to carry the burden of her sins.
After her, JP steps up. She lags in sitting down, staying close to the wooden seats. People already look at her distrustfully; but she's got eyes only for her brother.
“Slytherin!”
Frowns and shakes of the head come from the other side of the Hall; JP hurries out of the seat, almost forgetting to return the hat. He stands with Carmilla, both their postures rigid.
Will has his fists clenched. She doesn't have to imagine to know the fear that clamps down on his lungs- of all of them, the most impacted by Lilith's doings has always been her.
“Slytherin!”
A sense of finality and resentment settles over all three siblings when they sit down, side by side, at the Slytherin table. Even their housemates side-eye the triplets; there's a consensus that they've only inherited their mother's features- their father's soft face and dark skin are nowhere to be found.
JP slouches in his seat; Will sighs. Carmilla keeps her back straight and looks everyone in the eye.
When classes start, Carmilla really understands the warnings Mattie passed down to them.
The looks and the whispers from everyone – including some of the staff – follow them everywhere. Class with Gryffindor are the worst; the tall ginger, whose name she found to be Lawrence, is always glaring at them from her front row seat. The DADA professor, Walsh, often references the War to illustrate some points, and most eyes turn to the three at the back.
It gets to her. Carmilla isn't a social person by nature- she avoids talking and seeking people out, even her own siblings sometimes, and it doesn't help diffuse the idea of her being haughty. Will is just as quiet as she is, though his silence is caused by intense anxiety; JP likes people, though.
On the second month of classes, he shows up with two people at their spot by the library. She recognizes them as the two gingers from the Hogwarts Express; for JP's sake, she plasters on a less intimidating look when they come up.
“I found Perry and LaFontaine,” JP says happily. “Isn't it great?”
Will nods. “Good to see you guys again.”
They're an odd pair; LaFontaine's Ravenclaw tie is loose around the neck, her hair sticking up in all directions, while Perry is put together, her hair up in a bun and her yellow tie in a fancy-looking knot.
“We have Charms together, right?” LaFontaine asks Carmilla.
She's startled to be addressed. “Yes. You levitated your feather on your first try.”
LaFontaine grins. “I'm impressed with myself, believe me. Probably just a fluke. But you got there too?”
“Same time as you. Though not as high.”
That's the closest to a compliment Carmilla has ever given an acquaintance. She kind of respects the short Ravenclaw.
“I didn't get it,” Will tells them. “Maybe I've been saying the words wrong or something.”
“Probably.”
“We can help,” Perry responds; Carmilla's eyebrows raise. “Anytime.”
It obviously means more than just that- an offer of kindness to the Karnsteins is an olive branch she didn't expect from anyone. A pleasant feeling settles in her chest, like a cat preparing for slumber, and stays there as they continue to talk.
Carmilla sits behind Laura Hollis in Transfiguration.
She learns that she's friends with Perry, so much so that sometimes they come in together from somewhere else after free period; that she's muggleborn and is fascinated by Quidditch mechanics; and that she's got a natural gift at Charms.
For some unknown reason, Carmilla keeps staring at her. She really shouldn't, because if one of her brothers catches her, she'll never hear the end of it- but Laura is nice, nicer than any of their classmates, and she's always happy and bubbly. It's hard not to notice her, and when you start looking there's just no way back.
But she never quite manages to talk to her. At most, her shyness lets her give one-word replies; which are great for the reputation she's been stuck with, but terrible for the friendship she'd like to strike up with the Hufflepuff.
Eventually, somewhere in the middle of November, she gives up on trying and accepts the role of Perry's weird silent friend.
One thing that Carmilla enjoys is the Flying lessons with Gryffindor. Yes, she'd rather the Jolly Red Giant eased up on the flybys she likes to do by her, but it's fun. The brooms are terrible, basically sticks of wood with wearing-off charms and almost no tails, but usually they rise up a good few meters on the air.
She trades off, at the start of classes, the broom assigned to her with JP. He's awful at flying- has always been, ever since Mattie tried to teach him, in one of the rare occasions she was home, and he nearly hit a tree and two cars. She lets him take the better Cleansweep Six, and accepts the Shooting Star he got.
It is, without question, the worst broom she's ever flown.
It shakes when she gets too high and sometimes veers off to the right on its own accord. Still, she makes a point to circle Lawrence at least twice every week. Lawrence might be a great flier – and she freely admits that – but Carmilla's ease in using the glorified stick calls for attention more often.
The flying teacher, Professor Breton, takes both of them to the side one day, during the last class before they stop for the snow. He tells both of them to try out for their house teams the following year. Happy, Carmilla tells the others at lunch.
“I'm trying out too,” LaFontaine whoops. “Always wanted to be a Keeper.”
Perry huffs. “Quidditch is dangerous- why would you ever want to ricochet around that far up the ground with a broom ?”
Carmilla smirks. “Because it's fun?”
“You should try it,” Will says, grinning. He's probably picturing the scene- Perry screeching atop a broom while being pelted by Bludgers. “Might do you some good.”
LaFontaine waggles her eyebrows. Perry rolls her eyes and doesn't answer.
Both gingers go home for the holidays.
Snow covers the grounds. The only non-white thing she can spot outside is Professor Hagrid's lumbering form as he goes about his day. She even waves at him one day; he waves back, a bit of his smile shining through his thick beard- she likes Professor Hagrid.
The inside of the castle is cold for a different reason.
Most students went home; just under twenty stay at Hogwarts. The Karnsteins can't go home- Ms. Spielsdorf is somewhere in Austria with her family, and Mattie is stuck at the US with business matters. So they just hang around the common room and the library, in various states of impatience.
JP loves Christmas- he's been excited since Halloween. Will likes the food, not as much as the gifts- they get many empty ones from pure-blood families keen on reviving old links, so they lost their appeal over time. Even Carmilla is somewhat happy this time- she got the gingers presents and she hopes they'll like them.
The day before Christmas, she leaves her brothers at the library in favor of going to her room for a nap. Her steps echo in the empty hallways; she likes being by herself, especially since she's grown up as part of a package deal, in which alone time was basically null.
She's halfway to the common room when she hears steps behind her. Thinking one of the boys decided to come too, she turns around to greet them; but it's a Gryffindor fourth-year making his way to her.
A small amount of panic sets in. Carmilla walks faster, hand going into her robe's pocket and holding her wand firmly.
“Oi, Karnstein!”
The guy does not let up; he speeds up and catches her by the elbow. She doesn't have time to react before he throws her against a wall. Her head knocks on the hard stone- her ears ring and she loses her vision for a couple of seconds.
“What's wrong, Death Eater?” he growls, face set into a sneer. “Can't take a bump to the head?”
“I'm not a Death Eater,” she mumbles, trying to catch her bearings. He presses her up again, his hands on her shoulders making it impossible to move her arms. “I swear.”
“Lots of them swore too.”
Mattie's advice of not giving him the time of day doesn't quite register; she's annoyed and in pain, and says the first thing that comes to mind. “Go to Hell.”
He spits on her. She struggles to get out of his grasp, even as the pain makes it hard to think.
“You know what your little inbred mother did?” he says- she wants to scream for him to shut up, because of course she knows what Lilith Karnstein did, but the Gryffindor's grip hurts a lot. “She murdered my uncle- she killed him right in front of his kids!”
“Stop,” she whispers. “Don't-”
A clicking of heels rings through the corridor. The boy glances between the adjoining hallway and back at Carmilla; in a split second, he shoves her again and runs off on the opposite direction.
Carmilla doesn't talk about it with anyone. Instead, she goes up to the DADA archives at the library and picks up all kinds of books on defensive spells, claiming a sudden interest in dueling.
Both her brothers are elated from Christmas still, so they don't question her much- besides, Carmilla has never been one for lying, so they have no reason to distrust her. When LaF and Perry return, they don't seem to notice her sunken eyes; but Perry gives her a hug on sight, thanking her profusely for the set of Self-Inking Quills she'd bought.
She smiles, for what feels like the first time in months, at Perry when they part. “Your quill was falling apart,” she justifies, though the actual reason is still known by all parties.
She gave LaF a Collapsible Cauldron; LaFontaine admits to have used it already.
“The potion blew up,” she says, proudly. Perry is not impressed. “It was grand.”
Not even LaFontaine's jokes or Perry's unwitting hilariousness manages to bring Carmilla back from the mood she fell into. Worry gnaws at her any time any of the boys go somewhere alone, even if to the bathroom, and many times she's changed routes at the sight of a red tie. There's a sense of unease that now cloaks most actions she takes.
One day, she finds the boy talking to Danny Lawrence. They're arguing about something, in low voices, by a pillar in the Great Hall. Carmilla can't get to lunch fast enough.
January ends with the pretty white snow turning into slush. It pools around the grounds, gluing to her shoes when they go out for Herbology, and makes everything slippery.
Obviously, JP and Will love it. Like the kids they are, the boys drag her out before dinnertime and jump around in the mud, levitating half-frozen earth onto each other. She laughs freely at it- a laugh only the boys and Mattie have heard. The only great thing about her year has been managing to stay in the same house as them.
LaFontaine and Perry are cool too, when they're not joined by the hip talking about some relative from each other's family. She still doesn't know if they're platonic or romantic soulmates, but she's working on it.
The boys go on a full-out mud war with some other first-years. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws are a bit wary at first, but soon they are all best friends, laughing and throwing each other around. LaF joins them too, with Lawrence and Wilson Kirsch.
Perry sits far away from the mess, polishing her wand while watching over to make sure they don't get hurt. Carmilla sits with her in a makeshift bench, a well-worn book from her home library in her hand. She gets distracted by the poems for a while, but is brought back by a clear voice by their right.
“Can I sit here?” asks Laura Hollis, politely. Both girls nod, scooting over so she can fit. “Thanks.”
“Why aren't you in there?” Perry asks her.
“I trip a lot,” she explains, sheepish. “It wouldn't be a war against the Ravenclaws. It'd be one against gravity.”
Carmilla lets out a snort; Laura looks at her, inquisitive, and she masks her amusement by staring at her book.
“At least now you can make Carmilla and I company.”
“Carmilla?” Laura calls. At Carmilla's quirk of the head, she explains. “You guys go by your first names or by the last names? How do you know someone is calling for you?”
“First names is usually the best bet,” she says, trying to mask her nervousness. Why the hell does this keep happening? “If someone calls for Karnstein we all turn around.”
“You're triplets, right?”
“Yes. Will and JP are identical, obviously.”
“Oh, cool.”
Laura's next question is dwarfed by Lawrence's sudden appearance. Exchanging glares with Carmilla, she shifts to talk to Laura. “Hey, Hollis,” she says, her voice much less hostile than Carmilla has ever heard it. “Aren't you coming?”
“Nah, I'll pass,” the girl says, smiling. “But you guys enjoy yourselves. We'll get dinner later.”
Lawrence, like a puppy just told no, sulks a little- until Kirsch yells for her and she speeds off to catch up with him. Laura seems content to remain quiet and watch with Perry; Carmilla returns to her book, after sneaking a few more looks her way.
In February, the inevitable happens: LaFontaine burns her eyebrows off.
Carmilla is sitting next to LaFontaine when it happens; her own hair gets singed and her right ear gets hit in the crossfire. She turns to LaF, befuddled- LaF is laughing in delight, half her face black and eyebrows still on fire. It's such a hilarious sight that Carmilla ends up laughing too, both of them unable to breathe in their amusement.
Professor Clark is frozen in shock for awhile; but then he sends them both out with a flick of the hand, with strict instructions to go to the Hospital Wing. They're still snorting by the time they make it to Madam Pomfrey; she's so used to teenage madness that she just tells LaF to sit down.
Perry is, predictably, horrified. She worries about both of them- going from sad to angry at the blink of an eye. Carmilla tries not to let her amusement shine through- Perry is smaller than most first-years, and has so much hair that it bounces on every pause she makes.
JP and Will giggle behind Perry's shoulder; even more so when she turns to scold them for it. LaFontaine and Carmilla catch each other's eye, though, and start laughing again.
Perry's exasperated huffs and grumbles are funnier than most of JP's puns, but they end up stopping just for her sake. The rest of dinner goes by smoothly, Will going over what they'd missed during class. McGonagall stops the talking at some point, to remind everyone of the start of exam season.
“Why are you so quiet?” Will asks Carmilla, after dessert appears and the students go on as usual.
She looks forlornly at her chocolate pudding. “If I drown myself in this, do I still have to take the exams?”
“Yes.” Perry says resolutely.
“Damn it.”
“You'll do great,” LaF reassures her. “And I'm sure McGonagall won't kick you out if you fail everything.”
Carmilla punches her in the shoulder and LaFontaine yelps.
To none of her friends' surprise, Carmilla passes her DADA exam with flying colors. Not only has she been practicing third-year level spells, but she's known to staying in class after it's dismissed to ask Professor Walsh questions about her jinxes. In the same vein, Will excels in his unorthodox version of an Antidote to Common Poisons, and JP transforms a mouse into a matchbox and back before the others can blink.
LaF manages an Antidote faster than Will, simply because the Ravenclaw is used to it. When questioned, LaFontaine shrugs and explains that a lot of older Ravenclaws have a tendency to try out their experiments in the common room, so it's always a good idea to have them nearby. Perry is the best in their year in Charms and Herbology – and it's a sight to see her harvesting Wormwood with a smile at night for the exam – and she's very good at helping her clueless friends understand what the Hell Binns is talking about.
Despite their winnings, they're all tired and stressed by the time the exams end. The first Monday free-period they have afterwards is spent under a big tree by the lake, with Carmilla and LaF napping and the other three trying to play wizard chess on the board Perry got for Christmas.
Perry was at first horrified by wizard chess- despite having a wizard father, she lived in a pretty normal English muggle suburb with her mother for most of her life, and having her queen be smashed into smithereens is not normal. But she's grown into it, with the boys' help, and now she can play against Will with JP's help and commentary.
Though she only wins against LaFontaine, and also simply because she lets her win.
Carmilla opens her eyes after one of Perry's exclamations- she's frowning down at the board, at one of her bishop's remains. Carmilla gets ready to sleep again when she hears a shuffle by them. Her wand is on her grasp before she thinks of it.
It's the Gryffindor. He keeps his eyes on Carmilla as he passes by with a Quaffle, and smirks a little at her wand. When he finally leaves, LaFontaine's voice pipes up:
“Straka is a git, isn't he?”
Carmilla turns to look at LaF. “What's his name?”
“Ian Straka. He's got a younger brother too, Theo. He's a second-year. They both really live up to the Gryff stereotype, I'll tell you that much.”
Carmilla hums. “I'll say. Go back to sleep, ginger.”
“Will do.”
LaFontaine drops her coat on her face again and falls asleep; Carmilla sits against the tree and watches the others play, her good mood soured.
The rest of the year seems to pass on a blur. Between trying to keep the boys from setting themselves and LaF on fire and withstanding Perry's constant fretting, Carmilla forgets that Hogwarts isn't the whole world, and is blindsided by McGonagall's end of the year speech.
They go to King's Cross all together. Their car is filled with laughter and sarcasm, and they stuff their faces with candy all the way back to London. At parting, they all hug and promise to send letters – and Carmilla's grumpiness isn't at all related to having to part with them.
Yet, she's glad to see Ms. Spielsdorf again. She smiles and listens to their stories with genuine interest as the trio moves to the car, and doesn't make fun of Carmilla for holding her hand. All in all, Carmilla is happy.