Chapter Text
Lilith is coming back.
Even hours after he first received the news, Lucifer can’t believe it.
He remembers the shock of Charlie bursting through his door, crying but smiling as she hugged him.
“Dad, Mom’s coming home! She couldn’t explain everything, but she promised that she’d be back by next week!”
Charlie had explained what Lilith had said, before running out to share the news with everyone else. He couldn’t remember the details of what Charlie told him. He hasn’t moved an inch since he heard the news, stuck in his own mind, unable to do anything else but process.
Lilith is coming back.
It was everything he’d been dreaming of for the past almost 8 years. Finally, the shattered pieces of his family could be reunited. They could be together again. A perfect, happy family.
He knows how much this means to Charlie, to have both of her parents at her side, their little family now whole again. Lilith left a gaping, bloody hole in both of their hearts, and now it can finally be sealed.
Lilith is coming back.
It’s everything he could have wanted.
So, why, why does he feel so achingly hollow at the idea of his wife’s return?
He should be happy. He thought he would be happy. For 7 years he was sure Lilith would be the key to regaining his happiness. Their happiness.
Instead, dread looms over him. What should be hopeful, ecstatic anticipation is turned bittersweet by the pool of anger deep inside him.
Never in Lucifer’s existence did he think he would feel anything other than joy at seeing his wife after so long.
What changed?
You didn’t know what she did to your daughter.
That’s right. He didn’t know about Charlie before now, not in any meaningful way. He knew of her, and of Lilith’s parenting, through Lilith’s own words and a few scattered moments throughout the years. But not in any meaningful way.
Not enough to know his daughter was suffering.
He thought he knew everything that went on in his home. The mother Lilith described to him was loving, attentive, and always tried her best to raise their daughter into the best version of herself, even when it was difficult.
He didn’t know if Lilith genuinely believed what she said, or if it was all intentional lies meant to keep him from looking closer. The distinction doesn’t really matter when you hurt someone so deeply.
Charlie’s mother neglected her, isolated her from the world. She forced Charlie to become someone else, to hate everything about herself that didn’t fit cleanly into Lilith’s mold. She made herself a pillar in Charlie’s life, and then left her to drown.
Lucifer played a part in Charlie’s horrible upbringing too. His neglect only reinforced all the worst aspects of Lilith’s parenting. But he’s trying to make up for it every day of his life.
He isn’t sure Lilith will do the same.
He’d like to say she will. That as soon as he tells her how badly she fucked up, she’ll try her hardest to make amends with Charlie, and they’ll finally be a proper family.
You also didn’t think she’d be the kind of woman who’d abandon your daughter.
Lucifer could also be wrong. He tended to be wrong about a lot of things.
Lucifer thought he knew his wife. Why wouldn’t he? He’d been with Lilith for most of existence! They’d fallen in love despite what should have been, rebelled against the most powerful beings in the universe, suffered the worst of punishments, and stayed together through all of it.
He’d loved everything about Lilith. Her fiery personality, her unbreakable spirit, her ability to face down even the most terrifying foes without flinching. Most importantly, was how grand her dreams were. Eden never satisfied her, not completely. She always wanted better for herself, for others, and would do anything to get it.
It’s what led them to give the apple to Eve, to her becoming a true queen, not just a figurehead chained to a throne.
It’s what might’ve led her to treat Charlie so badly.
He didn’t see it until recently, but Hell had changed both of them. It made the worst parts of them sharper, stronger, worse. He became so hopeless, lost in a constant battle to face the realm he created. And Lilith…
Lucifer was the only one who took Lilith’s hand when the universe had forsaken her. Her faith in her creators, in her everything, had been broken, shattered into fine dust by God himself. All that was left in the smoldering ashes was a choice.
Lay hopelessly rotting without meaning, forever a small stain in the universes’ perfect plan, or rise, and prove that you are more than the submissive wife you failed to be.
Lilith always had a tendency for picking the most spiteful options.
And so, Lilith rose, leaving behind her belief in a just universe where the only good that you receive is what is given to you by others. Falling had taught her that the only person she can trust to grant her desires is herself. She dragged herself out of their grave and into a barren wasteland. She vowed it would become a kingdom worthy of rivalling Heaven.
She looked back at her lover, her angel, her supposed ruler, trapped by an invisible weight, and offered her hand to him. And he took it with barely a moment of hesitation.
After all Lucifer, was left behind by everything he’d ever known. Here was the last remnant of his world, the one he gave his existence in Heaven for, reaching towards his blasphemous body. As if he wasn’t the creator of all that is horrible and wrong in the universe.
As if he was still holy.
Why wouldn’t he take her hand?
Why wouldn’t he let her remake hell into the realm her heart desires? He didn’t want anything to do with it, but Lilith did, so he stood by her side.
Slowly, Hell became Hell. Not just a punishment, but a proper kingdom. And with it, Lilith transformed.
She became more ruthless, more pragmatic in chasing her desires. Any threat to her goal, to her kingdom, to her loved ones was met with vicious force. Sometimes subtly, but always with the same wrath behind her eyes.
He loved seeing the look in her eyes when she was about to show a pathetic sinner why she was Queen. It was her way of showing how much she cared for him, and afterwards they both spent days wrapped up in each other, lost in an all encompassing love that transcended words.
Lucifer might’ve loved that side of Lilith a little too much though. Probably could’ve reined her in a little, or at least not encouraged her endless chase for better as he did. Maybe that would’ve stopped her from turning her eyes on her own family.
He doesn’t know what happened. Maybe it was one big moment or a continual buildup, but at some point, Lilith must’ve stopped seeing her family as equals. She stopped seeing them as the reason for her dreams and started seeing them as steps to her dreams.
She didn’t want a better world for everyone. No, she wanted a perfect world for herself.
…Maybe he should dial the wrath back a little bit. Sure, Lilith wasn’t great, but she wasn’t selfish, not like Adam. Everything she did came from a place of love, for others as much as herself.
It’s a little harsh to imply she didn’t care about anyone other than herself for most of her life.
But is it wrong?
…He doesn’t know.
And now he’s back to where he started. Stuck in an impossible dilemma, all centered on a single question.
How is his wife the same person as Charlie’s mother?
Option one, she was a manipulative monster who’s been using him for their entire relationship. Option two, she changed into someone so singlemindedly self-centered she didn’t see (or didn’t care) how she kept hurting their daughter.
There were a few other options in between those, but they all ended in one place. Lucifer was too lovesick and blind to see how Lilith treated Charlie until it was far too late. Another failure to add to his collection. Such a failure of a father he can’t even protect his child in his own home.
He should’ve known. Should’ve done something, but he didn’t and now she’s coming back and he doesn’t know what to do. Not when everything is so muddled.
Lucifer hates Lilith for how she treated Charlie. He also still loves who she was before, his companion, the person who understood him like no other. He mourns the wife he thought he had, the mother Charlie dreamed of, the family they could’ve been.
All of the complicated, contradicting emotions bubble and twist around, preventing him from making a concrete decision.
He must have been sitting there for hours, because he barely notices Charlie entering the room again.
“Sorry about running off like that! I just got so excited I had to tell everyone and then I…Dad? Are you okay?” She looks a little nervous walking in. Her tail is curled up around herself. Something is clearly weighing on her mind.
It takes him a second to process his daughter’s presence, but when he does he jumps to attention.
“Oh, Charlie! Don't worry about me, just thinking about all the great times we’ll have as a family soon!” He can’t believe he forgot about Charlie in all of this. She probably wants things to go back the way they were, or at least have them be a real family again. And it’s his responsibility as a father to make sure that happens, despite his reservations.
It’s the least he can do to make up for the past 200 years.
So he pushes aside all the unresolved feelings he has towards seeing Lilith again, and focuses all of his energy on being the supportive dad his daughter needs.
He jumps off the bed and lands right in front of Charlie, adding some slight magical flair to his movements for fun. “I know how much this means to you, so you just tell me the plan, and I’ll make it happen! Fancy dinner, beach day, tour around the other rings, whatever you want!”
Charlie looks increasingly uncomfortable at his overly happy tone. “Thanks Dad, I really appreciate that, really I do.” she said placatingly. “But I just wanted to know how you felt about this whole thing. You two didn’t exactly leave on the… best terms.”
Lucifer’s a bit confused at what Charlie means, but then he remembers. Lilith left in the middle of the divorce proceedings.
…Right.
That makes things a little awkward.
“You don’t have to worry about that honey. Me and Lilith will deal with all that legal stuff on our own. You just focus on all of the fun you’ll have with your mother!” He tries to push Charlie out the door, but she barely budges.
“Dad, we really need to talk about Mom before she’s actually here!”
“What’s there to talk about that can’t wait until Lilith’s here?” Lucifer is continuing to nudge Charlie inch by inch, while Charlie pushes back.
“Everything! I need to know you’ll have my back if things go wrong!”
The answer shocks Lucifer enough that he stops pushing, which causes him to get accidentally knocked to the floor by Charlie’s strength.
Charlie almost immediately runs up to help him up. “Sorry, Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”
He takes a bit to regain his bearings, in awe at his daughter’s strength. “Don’t… Don’t worry about it sweetie…your old man’s a lot tougher than you think. Now, what were you saying?” he wheezes out.
Charlie looks like she wants to apologize more, but stops herself. “Mom…I want her here. I want her in my life. But I don’t know if she’s going to want me. I don’t want you to be forced to pick between us, or feel obligated to stay with Lilith for the sake of my happiness.”
She reaches her hand out to his, which he takes. “C-Char, what are you talking about? Of course she’ll want you. You’re her daughter.”
“I’m not the daughter she wanted though. And I’m not going to pretend I am when she comes back. I want to believe she’ll accept that, and change, and maybe I can have you both in my life, but I’m not stupid. She might argue with me about how I’ve changed, or she’ll try to get me under her heel, o-or she might do something to the hotel, fuck what if she does something to Vaggi?” She looks down at the floor, voice quieting to a mutter as she spirals over the possibilities.
With how tight Charlie’s holding it, Lucifer’s hand would’ve been shattered by now if he wasn’t a fallen seraphim. Unsure what to do, he pats her shoulder a few times to get her out of her own head, which almost works. Charlie squeaks in surprise at the motion, but keeps talking.
“I-I don’t know what’s going to happen! Things might turn out okay, but what if they don’t! Or what if things turn out too well and it turns out I’ve just been faking everything! I thought Mom being here would make things better, but instead I’m just confused and anxious and I need to know I’m not crazy for feeling like this!”
“You aren’t!” Lucifer interrupts before it gets worse. “I’m freaking out too, so much, but there’s nothing we can do right now! All we can do is wait for her to give us answers, and hope for the best.”
He leads Charlie to sit on his bed, still holding each other’s hands for comfort. “You aren’t stupid for wanting to believe in Lilith. I want to as well. But she hurt you, and nothing she says can undo that pain.”
“I know that, everyone’s been saying that, but I- I don’t know what to think of her!” She growls in frustration, putting both hands on her face as she flops down on the bed.
It’s quiet, for a moment. And then, “...I want my Mom back.”
He doesn’t get to ask what she means by that before she continues. “I want the Mom who played dolls with me. Who helped me study, who comforted me during my first breakup, who sang with me in the empty ballroom, like we were performing for both the whole world and only ourselves at the same time. I want the Mom who taught me how to love.” She’s smiling, tears of joy welling in her eyes, but the look on her face slowly fades into melancholy.
“But I don’t know if she was real, or if I just made her up to cope with being stuck in an empty castle.” Her eyes looked off at something that wasn’t there, far away from the present. “I think that’s what scares me the most. The idea none of it was real, and I’m going to be meeting a stranger that happens to have my Mom’s face.”
Lucifer looks off to the side, trying to gather his thoughts. How can he reassure his daughter when he’s having the exact same doubts?
He doesn’t know. But he has to try.
“I can’t promise anything, but in my heart, I know the love your mother had was real. It might have been a twisted, fucked up love, but it was there.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Char, I’ve been with her for over a millenia. I know the special look she gets when she sees someone she loves, and every time we were all together, she had that look. She knew you would shine brighter than Heaven itself, just like I did.”
Charlie laughs bitterly. “Is that supposed to make things better?”
“No, not really. I think it makes things worse. She could have loved you without hurting you, but she didn’t.”
“So, it doesn’t really matter if she loved me?”
“It does. It means there’s still hope she can change. Maybe your mother can come back to us.”
Lucifer looks back at his daughter, who’s now sitting upright, tail lazily flicking back and forth. She clenches and unclenches her hands, still frustrated but a lot calmer. “I guess we’re back at the beginning. We still don’t know what’s gonna happen, and all we can do is wait.”
“Guess I really didn’t help you. Sorry about that.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
“Don’t apologize. This helped a lot actually. Sorting everything out in my head with someone who gets it.” She looks towards him, a small, uneven smile across her face. “As much as I love everyone here, they don’t understand why I want her back.”
He gives his own sad smirk. “We have to see if the Lilith we know will come back to us. Even if there’s a chance she won’t.
She nods, shuffling closer to him. “It’s not even about having my family back together, I just need some closure. Else I’ll drive myself insane over what-ifs.”
Charlie suddenly remembers something. “I-If you want her back though, I’ll totally support that! Seriously, I know how much you miss her, don’t let me stop you!” She sputters out.
Lucifer laughs. “Sweetie, I think that ship has long sailed. If we ever get back together, it won’t be for a few centuries at least!”
Charlie sighs in relief. “That’s good to know.” She then realizes how that sounds. “Not because I was hoping you two would break up, I just- I don’t really know how I’d feel about you two being back together.” She nervously laughs.
“I get it. I would be a really bad dad if I immediately took Lilith back after finding out what she did to you!”
They both lean against each other, silently comfortable. In this moment, just the two of them, everything feels like it should. The ball of complicated emotions hasn’t vanished, but it’s distant now.
And just like that, Lucifer knows what he has to do.
He takes both of Charlie’s hands in his, he looks at her, his mood now serious. “We might not know what happens next, but I can promise you this Charlie. Whatever happens, I’ll be right behind you. I’ll support you if you want to help Lilith be better. And if you want Lilith gone, say the word and I’ll make it happen.”
“Dad, I can’t ask you to fight your wife!” She yells out.
“I know you won’t, and I don’t want to do it either. But I’ll do it if I have to. You’re the most important thing in the world to me Charlie, and nothing will change that.”
“Dad…” she squeaks out.
“Besides, I still need to have that talk with your mother! Things won’t be like they were before, not if I have anything to say about it!” He holds his head up proudly, looking at Charlie’s eyes, bordering on tears
Without warning, he finds himself being hugged with enough power to explode a building. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
He hugs her back just as tightly, their promise bound just as tightly as a soul contract. For now, they bask in the comfort of being together, and the hope of their missing piece coming back to them.
Soon, they’ll have to prepare. After all, the queen’s coming back home.