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As far back as he could remember, Yoichi had never lived a normal life. He was an orphan in a ruined world, raised by a twin brother whom he had always known deep down to be dangerous, and he had witnessed from afar how his Meta ability was changing the world.
Zen was strong, but above all, he was ruthless, driven by a boundless hunger that nothing could satisfy. He wanted more, always more, endlessly. More control, more power, more Meta abilities.
Yoichi did not know how to stop him, then he realized he could not. He tried to live his own life, and for a while they were content to coexist. They lived together without paying too much attention to each other's activities, each finding the other's world uninteresting.
That relative freedom ended when his brother revealed his ambition to dominate all of Japan, and probably the whole world after that. No one could resist, but a few tried, and while Zen was untouchable... Yoichi was not.
He was forced to stay away for his own safety, then he was outright forbidden to go out, and when he tried to sneak out to disappear, he was locked up between four windowless walls.
There was nothing but a small bathroom with the most basic sanitary facilities and nothing else. No furniture, no distractions, and above all, no one.
Zen visited him from time to time and left each time, closing the door behind him, deaf to his pleas, more ruthless than ever.
He was alone, unable to do anything but wait, to stay there, like an object. Yoichi did not understand why his brother had imposed a Meta ability on him when he could not do anything with it. He might as well have kept it to himself, rather than storing something in his weak and sickly twin who was slowly starving himself to death.
He should have known that Yoichi was weak.
The door opened to his right. He turned his head, already weary at the thought of what Zen might want to say to him this time, when his eyes met red. Red, not white, it was red, bright and so expressive that Yoichi did not know what to do with so much emotion.
After so much time seeing only his brother, always so placid, impassive, and relaxed, he almost had trouble identifying the cold anger, pain, and sadness in those tense features.
They were here for him, were not they?
They had come to kill him since they could not kill Zen.
That thought... was not as painful as it probably would have been at one time. Whatever came next, the nightmare would finally be over. He would be free.
The gunshot never came.
Kudou had reached out his hand to him, like a hero from another time, and Yoichi had taken it. Even if it was just a dream, he did not want it to end. He wanted to dream and hope again, even if only for a moment.
Even if it was just a reprieve, even if they would all probably die in the end, he really wanted to live at least once.
"So... what's your name?" The redhead asked him after leaving the front of the military truck and his second-in-command to join him in the back and crouch down to his height. "We can't call you ‘All for One's brother’ if you come with us."
"Shigaraki Yoichi," he introduced himself, surprised by his own weak voice. "Sorry."
"Don't worry, it happens to us too when we don't talk to anyone for a few days. I'm Kudo Toshitsugu. I'm not just your brother's enemy, I'm the leader."
And yet he had saved him instead of killing him so that his death would enrage his brother.
"Thank you for saving me."
Kudo did not know what to do with his tears when he started crying, awkwardly looking away, but he stayed, gently patting him on the head as his uncles and aunts had done in his earliest memories when he helped them carry their groceries in exchange for a little money.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"Don't be."
Yes, he should be, because he was going to get them all killed. Zen was going to kill them, because of him, because they had let him escape. He should tell them, he should walk away, not bring danger to them.
He did not say anything, too scared to go back.
He was weak, weak and cowardly.
He still was four months later when he finally told him, but by then he had fallen in love with Kudo and wanted him to survive more than he feared his brother.
"I knew that fighting would end in death even before I met you," the redhead replied gravely, looking more at peace with it than Yoichi could ever hope to be. "He already wanted me dead before you, and I met you on a suicide mission that I didn't think I'd come back from. He might have killed me even if I hadn't done all that, because my Meta ability is weak and therefore I'm useless. You're not responsible for anything, it's all his fault and his fault alone."
"But if he-"
"Shh," his rock stopped him, a soft smile on his lips. "Stop thinking. Feel."
For a little while longer, he was able to let himself feel only the softness of his lips, the warmth of his hands, and the intensity of his embraces. In a few weeks, he had experienced the most beautiful moments of his life. He had never been so happy in all the simplicity that happiness had to offer.
Until he was reminded that he had no right to happiness.
Until his brother was there, like a terrible and inevitable embodiment of death.
Until he reached out to Toshitsugu with the obvious intention of killing him.
Yoichi did not think, he acted. In an inexplicable instinct, he moved before he even understood what he was doing. He threw himself at his lover, his brother's hand touched him and not his intended victim, and Yoichi felt his consciousness fade away.