Archive of Our Own

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For all Illuga knew, Flins had always been there. People had spoken about Flins for as long as he could remember.

He was a secluded character, and although his empty eyes and intimidating stature scared the new recruits, his soft voice and honey-flowered words pulled everyone in.

People spoke fondly of him. Many admired his beauty. Illuga had only run into him a few times. At headquarters. On the battlefield. He moved graciously, and his words were just as alluring as the rumours had made them out to be. Enchanting. That grace in his steps traversed a battlefield like a dance. His polearm his partner, lighting his rhythm.

Illuga found it hard to take his eyes off him. The man rarely visited their base, but if he did, Illuga noticed. It was almost as if all other noise quieted once Flins came close. The sound of his heartbeat loud in his chest.

It had begun as an adoration. Illuga also preferred a polearm as his weapon. He could learn from watching Flins fight. Nikita, his adopted father, had introduced the two when Illuga took the title as head of the exploration team. Flins had taken his hand, and where Illuga had expected to lay his hand in cold leather, instead he’d felt only warmth. There was nothing warm about the man. His yellow eyes felt void. His skin pale. He was gorgeous like a winter’s day. A cold beauty. Beauty as described in poems of death. Flins looked like the embodiment of death. Illuga thought his hands would be cold.

Then he addressed him as “Young Master Illuga,” making light of the pleasure of finally being introduced to such a talented lightkeeper as himself. Illuga’s cheeks burned in the cold spring air, his knees all but buckling underneath him, managing to express that the pleasure was all his. His admiration came out like a lumpy mess of words resembling mud compared to the flowing water in Flins’s speech.

To say they got along well was not an understatement. They only met occasionally, but Flins often took the opportunity to meet him if he visited the base. They talked. Spared. Illuga learnt a lot from a lightkeeper like him. Every time they touched, no matter the reason, Illuga was surprised by the other’s warmth.

It was impossible not to like him.

But then there were the rumours. There were the ones Illuga heard most frequently, about how Flins were as scary as the ghosts as he moved soundlessly in the night, or that he had shadows following him in broad daylight, among other absurd ones. Then there was others, like how he was supposed to collect bones. Even human bones. He looked like it, Illuga had to admit. But he knew Flins liked gems. Coins. Shiny trinkets.

Some said the man didn’t eat, but Illuga had heard him talk about the importance of food and especially hydration many times. Not to mention, he’d seen him eat. The way he always came back from jobs perfectly unscathed made people wonder if he was even human. Too beautiful and polite to be true.

But Illuga had felt his warmth.

Illuga didn’t believe any of those rumours. He didn’t see reason in making oneself fear the dark. The rumours that did crawl under his skin were different. Flins’s words were not only polite. They could be outright flirtatious. Absence of tone could make it hard to discern if he was merely kind or trying to lure you into his embrace. Illuga wasn’t immune. More than once had he turned his face away, blessing the cold outside for the rosy shade of his cheeks. Flins said things with a straight face, having no idea what it did to the man next to him.

Combined with the rumours that Flins had an appetite when it came to the subject of lovers, made Illuga nauseous. Flins had never said anything about it because Illuga did not ask. He did not doubt many would fall for Flins’s polite nature, and if not that, his beauty.

Illuga hadn’t recognised his adoration as affectionate or attraction at first. Not until he saw Flins compliment one of his acquaintances right in front of him. Flins had complimented Illuga many times, it was in his nature, and yet, Illuga felt a tug in his chest which he didn’t recognise. Flins was his friend and colleague. Illuga wasn’t supposed to harbour any romantic feelings towards him. It wasn’t right. And yet, once the realisation had struck him, his affliction worsened.

It became impossible to look at Flins the same way again. Where he’d once seen a friend and mentor, he now saw a strong body. Slender hands. Soft lips. He wanted to feel his warmth on his skin. Flins’s porcelain skin was covered beneath layers of leather and silver buckles Illuga could only dream of reaching inside of. And he did. At night, he could hardly sleep. Flins’s deep voice echoed inside his mind. His charismatic lines playing on repeat. Illuga could imagine him so vividly as his hand crept beneath the hem of his pants to palm his erection. How he wished it was Flins’s hand. How he wished he would whisper his sweet nonsense into his ear as he touched him just like this.

Illuga hadn’t dare face him next time he heard Flins was visiting headquarters. He was too ashamed, so even when asked for, Illuga pretended to be busy. He’d make it up to his friend next time he visited. By that time, Illuga was so used to touching himself, imagining Flins, that he could no longer feel embarrassed. He looked him straight in the eye, asking him for the hundreth time that adding “Master,” to his name was excessive, no matter how many times he’d dreamt of hearing Flins say it in between sheets.

The man acknowledged his request, as usual, and continued to ignore it, as usual. It was infuriating. But at the same time, effortlessly attractive.

Pining for Flins was unbearable.

“Have you had any water today, young master?”

Illuga raised his gaze. Flins wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were on the horizon, the view from their headquarters bright in the setting sun. The islands’ clear. Flins’s lighthouse towered as a lonely pillar across the sea. Illuga hadn’t visited him in years. The work on this island held him occupied and Flins returned to base more frequently now than before. Illuga liked to think it was a result of their friendship. Not the fluctuation of wild hunt attacks.

He let out a sigh, his warm breath creating clouds around his mouth. “This exhaustion has little to do with my water intake, Sir Flins.”

“Anything else weighing on your mind?”

A lot of things, Illuga thought, studying Flins’s dark silhouette against the dying sun. His hands were clasped behind his back, his back straight. Flins was a tall man. Illuga hadn’t done much in that department, being shorter than other men his age. His youthful face didn’t help either, having to constantly correct strangers assuming his age. He was older than he appeared to be.

Flins was young too. But older than Illuga. Quite possibly with a gap his father wouldn’t approve. Illuga wasn’t sure how old Flins was. He’d never asked. Sometimes people made it sound like he had always been here.

When Illuga didn’t answer, Flins glanced back over his shoulder. Their eyes met. His eyes were almost glowing like a cat’s, and night was not yet claiming them. Yellow and attentive. They made Illuga feel like nothing more than a mouse, trapped in this predator’s gaze.

“Why don’t you come by the lighthouse sometime? Take your mind off things, we can catch fish, play cards. Whatever you wish.”

Illuga turned his head. Flins didn’t even enjoy card games. He’d overheard the other lightkeepers’ say so. But Flins was inviting him to his home. That was good, wasn’t it? Take his mind off his work, if only for an evening.

“If time allows it,” he concluded, pulling his coat tighter around him. He couldn’t accept right away. It would probably sound normal, but to Illuga, it was nothing but desperate.

Whatever was going on inside that ribcage of his wasn’t real. It was a silly idea that had manifested. The first time someone made a move on Illuga, he’d known that letting someone close wasn’t for him. It was bad enough that he cared for all the lightkeepers as it was. If someone were truly to move in to live in his heart, Illuga would never be able to rest. He knew, no matter how he tried, that there was a risk that the person would leave him.

Not to mention, a lover didn’t have to pass away to leave him. They could just leave. Illuga didn’t like the idea. He trusted himself. He could take care of himself, and he could keep others safe. He was strong because he had to be.

But Flins was strong too. He always came back. He always played the difficulty of the job off, claiming it had surely been dire, but he kept his calm and pulled through. He only said that not to worry Illuga, who couldn’t help but worry.

Because the damage was already done. It didn’t matter that Illuga wanted Flins’s hands on his body. He was his friend. Illuga couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.

“Until then, young master,” Flins said as he stepped away from the railing and started walking.

Illuga watched him leave.

He stood by the railing, watching that blue flame depart over the hills and valleys until that light disappeared into the darkness.

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Nikita made it possible for Illuga to take two days off. He said Flins had mentioned he would invite Illuga over. A chance to come away. Illuga felt like he must look truly exhausted for Nikita to think he actually needed it.

“I don’t need it,” Illuga had answered, but Nikita had insisted. And that settled it. So Illuga packed his backpack and set off. A few more lightkeepers were travelling over the water as well, so they travelled together. They had business in Nasha town, letting Illuga step ashore at the cemetery outside Paha Isle.

It was something final about being left there. If he wanted to get back, he’d have to wait for someone to go back. Or if the tide was low, walk to Nasha town and take one of the normal routes back. The last one would leave close to midnight. It was an option, if he couldn’t bring himself to stay the night. It was a lighthouse. He’d have to sleep in the same space as Flins.

Illuga tightened his grip on his backpack and started walking. The blue grass swayed slowly. Frostlamp flowers gleamed in the morning light. Albeit decorated in gravestones, this place was more beautiful than Illuga remembered. It reminded him of Flins. Morbidly beautiful.

And there he was, light in hand, eyes on the horizon. Illuga could see him, so the other knew he was here. Nothing slipped past him. Illuga only ever knew Flins was around because the world seemed to stop when he was present. That meant Illuga had to notice the silence. If he didn’t, the man could show up out of thin air. Soundlessly surprising Illuga in whatever task he was up to.

“Good morning, young master,” he said, turning as Illuga approached.

“There is no sneaking up on you, is there, Flins?”

“Wouldn’t be much of a lightkeeper if it was so,” his friend responded. A valid answer.

Flins walked them both to the lighthouse. The sun rose slowly, the days growing shorter every day, but that cold blue lantern led the way through the dimly light. It was different to his own lantern that hung turned off on his hip. It provided a warm light.

The two of them weren’t very alike.

The lighthouse didn’t look like much on the outside. It needed restoration. But the inside was different. Flins was a simple guy with a peculiar style, so Illuga found himself pleasantly surprised to step into a space that could only be described as homely.

There was a dying fire glowing furthest into the room. Couches surrounded it. Plural. As if many stumbled in here. There was a kitchen with a table and three chairs. Odd number. Illuga had expected a cold interior with little sign that anyone lived in here, but the cramped space felt homely. A staircase hinted of a second floor, quite possibly Flins’s bedroom.

“Did you do this?” he asked, realising only after the words left his mouth that not believing the other capable of home décor was rather rude. But Flins shook his head, explaining it was the courtesy of friends. For some reason, hearing Flins say he had friends felt foreign. He never spoke of others. When the two of them met, they only talked about work or the two of them.

Illuga was quick to tell him he liked it to cover for his previous mistake. Flins thought nothing of it, moving back to the fireplace to put down another log.

“Previous visitors informed me that it was too cold in here, so I’ve tried to keep the fire going for your sake,” Flins explained before blowing on the embers. Illuga was grateful, trying not to think too much about the first part of Flins’s words. About visitors. Illuga had no right to be jealous of such things. Nothing said rumours were true.

Flins prepared tea, explaining how he’d been patrolling during the morning and that Illuga’s journey granted them an opportunity to rest before catching the day ahead of them. Illuga liked that. He was supposed to lean back and rest, that had been Nikita’s orders. Flins was trying to make that possible.

The small space they occupied quickly warmed Illuga up. The tea helped too. It was warm. And still, Flins remained in all his layers. Even the gloves stayed on. Illuga had heard rumours spinning tales of Flins not being human. He had claws or something. It was ridiculous.

Illuga had taken his coat off. Flins watched him.

“You’ll worry the ladies walking around with so much skin showing. Winter is approaching fast.”

The soft fabric of the couch caressed Illuga’s naked back. This was his favourite shirt. He usually wore it all through winter as well. It had concerned none but Flins and Nikita. Every year, the story was the same.

“And you, Sir Flins? Aren’t you warm?”

The other flashed a mischievous smile. “Oh? I thought you worried I would be cold out here alone? Have you changed your mind?”

He remembered that, of course. It had been a poor attempt by Illuga to convince Flins to stay at headquarters during winter. He wasn’t concerned for Flins in that sense. He just wanted him close.

Illuga did his best to avoid such confrontations with Flins. The other man was enchanting enough as it was. There was no need to allow his alluring nature to get the better of Illuga at every turn. He avoided the traps laid by the others. He kept his head cold. He was alone at Flins’s home, and as the day progressed, night crept ever closer.

They had spent a long time fishing, talking about the job, and how the weather was colder than usual for the season, among other things. Flins displayed better patience than Illuga. If he concentrated too much on catching fish, his focus swayed. He couldn’t keep his eyes on the surface and allow himself to relax. If he did, he started thinking about work for real, going over tactics and strategies along with routes of supplies in his head.

He rather listened to Flins talk about whatever was on his mind. It could be anything. As long as Illuga felt distracted.

Illuga grilled the fish. They played cards. Flins showed Illuga his gem and coin collection. When Illuga joked about wanting to see the bone collection, Flins showed him that one too. Illuga was too stunned to speak at first. After Flins explained the source of many of his bones, Illuga relaxed somewhat. He supposed some rumours had to be true.

Flins found Illuga pale, offering to pour them some wine to warm Illuga up. He argued that it was a cold drink, and his temperature would remain the same. Flins only shook his head at the young one’s nonsense.

Illuga didn’t drink much alcohol. He knew Flins enjoyed it. He must have built a tolerance to it because not long into dinner, Illuga understood the warmth Flins had spoken about. His body was the same temperature as before, warm in the light of the fire, but his insides were too. He felt better. His head not as full, and his body not as heavy. Unfortunately, his cheeks were burning too. Whether it was thanks to the wine or the fact that Flins had taken his gloves and outer robe off was not in Illuga’s hands anymore.

Illuga already knew Flins had a beautiful figure, but him taking his coat off made Illuga more flustered than he had expected. Flins’s shoulders were broad despite his slim build, although it looked like he was hiding skin and bones beneath his clothes, his strong body was now more evident. Illuga bit his nail, deep in thought, his winter blue eyes never leaving Flins figure.

Illuga’s need to feel him was stronger than ever before. Flins had complimented him all day. Spoken in his naturally flowery speech, ensnaring Illuga with every passing hour. Could it be that he did it on purpose? Was he trying to seduce Illuga?

Meeting his gaze, Illuga turned his own down into his glass. The scent of the red liquid filled his nose. It wasn’t as pleasant as the taste. He wished he could enjoy it as much as Flins did. Wishing he knew more so they could have a proper conversation about it. Instead, a silence had crept inside the lighthouse. A warm one, filling the space between them on the sofa.

There were things Illuga wanted to know but dared not ask. There were things he wished to feel but dare not touch. But the alcohol made it feel okay. Like Illuga could ask. Like he could reach his hand out and touch the skin usually hidden from view. Illuga shifted, the fabric against his back was so warm. Just like he knew Flins was too.

And why shouldn’t Illuga reach out? Flins was driving him insane and had been all day. It was almost like he was tempting him, challenging him to do something.  And why shouldn’t he?

Illuga downed the contents of his glass before putting it away.

“Young master, it’s not ideal to –” but Flins got no further before Illuga had closed the distance between them, one of his hands on Flins chest. It quieted him down. Illuga wanted to be close to him. Impossibly close. Flins objected, but Illuga put away his wine glass before he took one of his hands, guiding it to his naked back.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t want this,” Illuga said, feeling Flins’s fingers spread across his skin, pushing Illuga closer despite his words.

“I don’t believe this is –"

“You go around teasing me all the time. It’s driving me insane.” And not just insane. It made Illuga angry. “Are you ever going take responsibility for the poetry of words you speak, or am I going to have to wait for you forever?”

“Illuga…”

“Kyryll.” Flins was still trying to object, but Illuga was determined. If the man could tell the young captain that he didn’t want this, then Illuga would back off. But right now, he deserved it for all the torment Flins put him through. He pushed himself closer to Flins, sighing.

“I want you to touch me. Take me however you want.”

Illuga had no idea where his confidence came from. Frustration? Maybe it was the wine. Or just Flins, and the half-lidded gaze which rested on Illuga’s face. Maybe he searched for a single sliver of resistance.

There was none. Illuga needed Flins to take him. He wanted desperately to feel his warmth.

Flins leaned closer, a breath’s width between them. “Are you sure?” he asked, his bare fingers caressing Illuga’s spine.

This close, where Illuga could almost taste him, Flins’s hand on his back, he couldn’t back away. He didn’t want to back away now.

“Say that you are sure, young master.”

Illuga nodded, barely noticeable, speaking in a hushed voice. “I’m sure.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Flins pushed Illuga closer, their lips crashing together.

He finally had him in his arms. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He was content being his companion and friend. He could guide the young human. Help him.

Flins could assure him he’d never lose anyone again. Not as long as he was still here. But Flins’s himself wasn’t supposed to be the subject of the young man’s lust. There was supposed to be an invisible barrier between them. Illuga cared. Flins knew. He played it off to lighten the young man’s burden. But this was wrong.

Kissing him, touching his skin and feeling his petite body against his own, was not right. One of Flins hands found Illuga’s neck, tilting his head slightly as their tongues collided and the kiss deepened.

Flins knew he should stop. He was happy being by Illuga’s side. His burning wish to devour him could be quelled. At least he had been able to. Now he burned fiercely beneath Illuga who had moved up to straddle Flins’s hips. It was intimate. It was the point of no turning back.

He knew his manner of speech, which he had deemed only polite, could be assumed as “flirting.” It was evident that the young man was accusing him of some sort of flirtatious and inviting behaviour. Flins had not meant to ensnare Illuga. Quite the opposite.

But now here he was, offering himself so easily on his lap, and all that resistance came crumbling down. Patience was a virtue he no longer possessed. His hand travelled across Illuga’s back, pressing him impossibly close. He was so lost in the sensation of Illuga against him and his tongue in his mouth that he hardly noticed Illuga’s feeble attempt to pull them apart.

That wasn’t very polite. He needed to restrain himself.

“Don’t you need to breathe?” Illuga asked, wiping his mouth, the young man heavily out of breath.

“What use is oxygen when I can sate myself with you, Illuga?”

Illuga’s skin slowly turned rosy. His cheeks and ears burning. Not in the same manner as Flins, but he enjoyed it. He liked Illuga relaxed and flustered. His wish to protect Illuga extended to his own hunger. In his lap, the human was nothing more than a fledgling to be devoured.

With a lack for words, Illuga kissed Flins again. His hands had found the buttons of Flins’s shirt collar. With nimble fingers, he’d undone enough to expose Flins’s neck and chest. The kiss finished as Illuga’s hands touched his skin. Flins was still dressed, but under that red-tinted, icy gaze, he felt naked and exposed.

Flins undid the purple sash around Illuga’s waist. He didn’t stop him. Flins wanted to continue to peel Illuga’s layers slowly, but this was not the place. And unlike what Illuga had said, perhaps not even the time. But Illuga’s lips were on his neck. His hips rocking against him slowly.

There was no halfway through this. Flins held Illuga in place not to quicken what was slowly happening inside his pants. Then he stood up, carrying Illuga with him. He didn’t put the human down until he lay him on his bed.

Propped up on his elbow, out of breath and rosy cheeks with nothing but his white knitted shirt and pants, on his bed, was an image Flins never thought he’d see. Knowing Illuga would let him strip him down to nothing but his skin was something he hadn’t dared imagine before. Not even in his wildest dreams.

Flins crawled into the bed, quick to catch Illuga’s lips with his own once more. The man beneath him pulled at his clothing, and although Flins wanted to savour every moment, he helped Illuga out, discarding his shirts.

“You wear too many layers.”

Flins looped his finger through the hoop of Illuga’s harness, pulling slightly. “And you too few.”

As if to prove Flins’s words, Illuga pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his petit but undoubtedly well-toned body. Flins knew Illuga was strong. He’d watched him. He’d felt it as they sparred. If Flins had been human, he didn’t doubt Illuga would have given him quite a fight if it ever came to that.

But Flins wasn’t human.

Flins was quick to kiss the bare skin beneath him. Although Illuga was feigning confidence, no doubt aided by the wine, his body gave him away. Pink and flustered. Still he was cool beneath Flins’s palms. Flins was burning up, and he knew Illuga could tell. The young man had noticed it the first time they met.

No doubt had Illuga, beautiful as amber in a snowstorm, caught Flins’s eye the moment he saw him. It was long before Nikita introduced them. He’d seen Illuga’s brows furrow as their hands touched.

Flins let his hand slide down, his fingertips dancing over the hem of Illuga’s pants. A smaller hand found his, fingers intertwining, urging to move further down his body.

“Flins, please…”

Flins raised their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of Illuga’s hand. Illuga watched him, eyes glazed.

“Young master,” Flins kissed the hand once more, “have you ever done anything like this before?”

Illuga nodded. “Yes.”

When Flins continued to watch him in silence, he spoke again. “Yes, I’ve had sex before, Flins, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Flins hummed, hiding a grin behind their joined hands. “Forgive me.”

Truth was, Flins would have loved for Illuga not to be a virgin. He wanted to take this little liar any way he wished, just like what had been asked of him. But the thought of being his first caused a thrill through his body.

Illuga brought their hands back down, and this time, Flins undid the zipper, pulling both his pants and underwear off.

Illuga was, besides a healthy body, the art of his childhood. He was a lightkeeper, and his skin proved his allegiance as well as his skill. Flins touched the scars adorning his thighs, up his abdomen and across his torso. His fingers traced the one broad scar on his shoulder the longest. He took his time. Illuga had turned his gaze away as he was stripped naked, his muscles tensed. The longer Flins took, simply caressing his body, the more relaxed he became.

“I need you to relax for me,” Flins said as he found the only clothing on Illuga’s person. His red earring. In the soft light of the setting sun, his bedroom took on a warm shade. Illuga’s earring shone bright between his fingers.

“Flins…”

Flins turned his head, smiling warmly as he met Illuga’s flustered gaze. If he continued to take his time, would he start begging him properly? It wasn’t very polite of Flins to want to try it out. Instead, he slid off the bed to get the oil from his nightstand.

Illuga’s eyes followed him intently, and with Flins not on the bed with him, shifted to cover himself somewhat.

“You’re taking your time,” Illuga commented as he returned. Flins adjusted Illuga’s position before spreading the younger man’s legs before him.

“Can you blame me?” he asked as he caressed his knee, taking in the sight. The smell. Illuga was more beautiful than any gem in his collection. His colours shone in the reflection of the light. His skin still cool beneath his palm. Illuga’s cock, erect and flushed, twitched at the praise.

Flins opened the bottle of oil, coating his fingers. Had Illuga had more experience with this, maybe spit would have been fine, but for tonight, Flins would hold back, focusing on pleasuring the human as well as he could. He didn’t want him in pain.

There were unasked questions behind his eyes, and while Flins didn’t want to expose the lie, he climbed back on the bed, towering over Illuga as he bent down to kiss him. His other hand caressed the flesh of Illuga’s ass. Illuga was almost shaking in anticipation, no doubt anxious. Flins would take care of him, just like he always had.

Flins caressed the muscles around his hole tenderly, coating him in oil, getting him used to the sensation of his presence. Then he touched his entrance, carefully prodded, pushing one finger against his rim, but not inside him. Illuga was tense, barely able to kiss him back. Flins stroked his side reassuringly.

Once he was confident Illuga was relaxed in his grip, he pushed his finger inside him. It had the younger one gasping into the kiss. Flins breathed him in, tasting his breath, finding his tongue, deepening the kiss. Flins could make Illuga unable to resist him, to have him drowning, intoxicated in lust for him, but Flins didn’t need fae tricks for Illuga to welcome him. Without enchantment and deceit, the human lay beneath him like a meal to be devoured. His soft moans against his lips as Flins moved his finger inside him was like music to his ears.

Unable to resist, he pushed another finger inside him. He was a musician and the human his instrument. He was the creator, and Illuga his muse. He wanted to draw him like this. Drowning in pleasure, his body temperature matching Flins’s own. He curled and scissored his fingers, stretching Illuga further while praising how beautiful he was. How good he was. How he couldn’t wait to be inside the young master.

He knew Illuga hated it when he called him that. But at the same time as he asked him not to, he clenched his jaw and turned his eyes away. So what need was there to stop?

Illuga was close, and although Flins wanted to be polite and let the young man find his release, he chose to be selfish. He wanted Illuga to cum, not on his fingers, but on his cock. A greedy want, but just like Illuga squirmed beneath him in pleasure, so did Flins.

Illuga probably had no idea what he did to Flins’s burning heart.

He removed his fingers, watching his hole flutter from the lack of Flins’s presence. Oh, he couldn’t wait to fill him up. Stretch him further than his fingers could. Flins met Illuga’s eyes and held them as he put his fingers in his mouth, tasting him. Illuga objected, embarrassed, but did not move to stop him. He watched Flins lick his fingers clean without blinking.

Illuga continued to watch him as he reached downward, undoing his belts. He moved slowly, making Illuga wait. He liked those cold eyes on him. Especially when he looked like he wanted to be devoured as much as Flins wished to devour.

When Flins stood naked by the end of the bed, the sun had set and the night all but clad the room in darkness, allowing the moon to alight their bodies. It was a cold light, and yet they both burned.

“Do you know what they say about you?” Illuga whispered as Flins crawled atop of him again. Illuga caressed his cheek, his fingers following the hard edge of his cheekbone and up his ear, only to disappear in his dark hair. “That you’re some creature of the night, hiding your inhuman self in that black robe of yours.”

Flins tilted his head, curious to hear where Illuga was going with this.

“But underneath all that, you’re just a man.”

Flins said nothing. He didn’t like lying. Instead, he aligned himself with Illuga’s entrance and pushed inside him slowly.

The young man beneath him gripped the sheets, his brows deeply knitted. Flins tilted Illuga’s head, capturing his lips in a kiss.

“Are you okay, young master?”

Illuga nodded, biting back a hiss as Flins pushed further inside him. He felt so good. Flins wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside him. But the human would be in pain if he rushed. He needed to adjust to the stretch. Flins needed Illuga to share this pleasure.

“Just… kiss me.”

Flins obliged. If his lips could distract Illuga from the sting in his lower body, then he would continue to kiss him. He’d drown Illuga in his kiss if he could.

Entering him slowly had Illuga partially failing to kiss him back, and once Flins was fully sheathed inside that heat, the young man was out of breath. But he was smiling. Flins was too, praising him.

“It’s been a while…” Illuga lied, shifting slightly to push Flins’s hair out of his eyes.

“Mhm,” Flins acknowledged, “but you’re doing so well, Illuga.” Flins took his hand, kissing his knuckles.

Illuga took another few breaths, then he nodded. Flins kissed him softly as he slowly pulled his hips back before pushing into him again. He caught Illuga’s sweet moan between his teeth.

Flins thrust hard and deep, relishing in the tight heat around his cock. Savouring the sting of desperate nails digging into his back. Tasting saccharine in his kiss.

Flins was the one with the intoxicating tongue, and yet he felt himself slipping in the embrace of the other. He couldn’t help but fuck into him harder. Faster. His kisses spread across his neck and down his chest, nibbling and sucking at the pale scarred skin.

It didn’t take long for Illuga to cum. Flins followed suit not long after. The way Illuga moaned his name when reaching his climax made Flins unable to hold it in. His composure slipped. Only for a second.

Illuga didn’t seem to notice. He was breathing hard, open mouthed, eyes closed. His body rose and fell with every breath and when Flins touched his, he noticed a light sweat on his skin. He touched his neck, capturing those lips in another heavy kiss.

Illuga whined as Flins shifted to slide out of him. He was only going to get them a towel to dry off, but his reaction was cute, prompting Flins to kiss his forehead.

“Do not fret, Illuga, I’m not done with you for tonight.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Flins carefully poured the hot water into two cups. Dawn was barely brewing, the lighthouse still in darkness. After pleasuring the little captain, Flins had slipped out of bed, going out. He didn’t need sleep, but he needed air.

Flins needed to slip inside the comfort of his clothes and get out in the cold air before his whole body burst into flames.

He thought he was stronger, but he’d lost control several times during the night. Illuga did things to him he’d never found possible. His small body took him so well. His sounds, and the fact that Flins was the reason he made them, almost made the fae see stars. The young master was heavenly.

Flins was tired, but not more than a few minutes in his lamp did the trick. He could patrol the end of the night like he usually did. Now morning was almost on them, and Flins didn’t know what to do more than brew them tea. The lightkeeper upstairs was used to waking before dawn, so if Flins woke him now, Illuga would have slept in, at least a few hours.

He needed it. They had been unable to stop. Unable to separate. When Illuga once more asked him to do whatever he wanted with him, Flins couldn’t hold back. When Illuga wanted to be fucked harder or faster, Flins obeyed. After Illuga had cum the first time, all his anxiety was laid to rest.

Flins savoured him, making sure every selfish act of his still brought Illuga relief. A little teasing among sheets only heightened expectations. And Illuga was wonderful to tease. Flins had him walking the edge of pleasure several times, each time as pleasurable as the last.

He’d been unable to scrape his naked image of his mind as he walked among gravestones. He even stepped into the water for a while to cool himself off. He knew sleeping with Illuga was a mistake on both parts. Illuga wouldn’t know why, not yet, but Flins had no reason to tell him.

Illuga had said so himself, Flins was just a man.

Taking the two cups in his hand, he made his way up the stairs. Illuga was still sleeping and Flins’s soundless steps did not stir him.

He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and hold the human close. The cold leather of his clothes could cool them both down. But he didn’t. They weren’t meant to be anything more. Needless affection was excessive.

Instead Flins crouched down, pushing Illuga’s hair out of his face. Eyes like blue lace agate met his own. His brows pinched together.

“Oh? Did I wake you?” Flins asked, holding the man’s title back. No need to tease before dawn. Not when he looked at him like Flins had wronged him in some way.

Illuga was in one of Flins’s shirts. The buttons were undone, and the sleeves too long. Nevertheless, Flins liked the view. Illuga was effortlessly beautiful. His hair was an unruly mess. His neck and the visible collarbone ,where the shirt was falling off, were littered with marks and bites. Flins should apologise, knowing the rest of the young man’s body was no better.

“Where were you?”

Flins pushed his hair over his shoulder before taking a seat next to Illuga, who moved to a sitting position.

“I was working,” he explained, handing Illuga one of the cups. The younger one hesitated before accepting it.

“You disappeared long before the first round starts,” Illuga questioned, mistrusting.

“I slept downstairs,” Flins answered, not exposing how he’d spent the entire night outdoors.

“So, you can put your dick in me, but you can’t sleep by my side?”

Flins tore his gaze from Illuga and studied the hot water’s surface. Illuga’s words were crude but no less true. Sleeping with him was bad enough. He would not make it worse.

“You don’t need to answer that,” Illuga added before sighing. “I feel like I might have to apologise to you. I was drunk.”

“Do you harbour regrets, Master Illuga?”

The man was quick to deny this. So quick Flins could smile, but he kept his face straight. It would have been a blow to his pride should Illuga regret getting into his bed. Alas, the sweet sounds he made last night made it impossible for the human to lie to him now.

“Don’t concern yourself with my trivial feelings, Illuga. Focus on getting the rest you need.”

But Illuga shook his head. “I need to get back today. I can’t deny my duties much longer than this.”

Flins knew better than to argue. Illuga never put pressure on Flins cause he took round about ways of answering, which usually left Illuga flattered and without an answer. In Illuga’s case, Flins would have more progress verbally convincing the deaf to rest than this young human.

“I’ll accompany you.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Illuga had not calculated on how sore his body could become from letting his sexual fantasies come to life. His legs ached like he’d run twenty laps around the Voidsea Outlook. His skin was tender, and he had no words to describe the state of his ass. In Flins’s bed, he hadn’t noticed, but once back at the headquarters, who knew how long until he could sit down without flinching again?

Flins noticed of course, asking Illuga if he wished to be carried back to base. The other was so indifferent about it. The face he made while making the request to carry him was enough for Illuga to stomp ahead on his own.

He knew Flins hadn’t bought his lie about having experience in bed. Just seeing how calm Flins, who no doubt had experience, whether the rumours were true or not, made Illuga feel foolish for lying. But Flins hadn’t called him out. He’d been everything Illuga had dreamed he would be, and more.

Illuga wasn’t conscious when it came to his body, but it couldn’t compare to Flins. He was taller, confident, and most of all, incredibly strong. Comparing muscles, Illuga was the most fit of the two, but Flins had handled his small body as if he weighed no more than a finch.

Illuga had been good on his word, allowing Flins to do whatever he wanted with him. And although the sex had gone from tender and sweet to a bit rougher, Flins never hurt him. He was always making sure Illuga was okay or comfortable.

Then he escaped the bedroom the minute it was over, and they had washed off. That wasn’t very gentlemanly of him. It had hurt Illuga when he didn’t come back. Thoughts where he wondered if Flins hadn’t liked the sex as much as he had plagued him. Or that he liked what they had done but couldn’t be bothered whether it was with Illuga or someone else?

Hadn’t he been spent, he would’ve remained awake. Instead, he fell asleep, waking only when Flins was near him again. And there he had been, dressed in his normal attire and once more adorning his indifferent mask. Flins was capable of smiling, though it was always very subtle. Another reason his sarcasm or flirtatious behaviour could be misunderstood.

But he had looked different in the moonlight. Illuga almost thought him demonic but for a second. He’d been too busy enjoying the bliss of climaxing while Flins was inside him. What the moonlight distorted in his lust-filled mind wasn’t his to ponder the day after.

What mattered was the fact that Illuga was now absolutely fucked. If he had dreamt of Flins before, no matter if it was sexual or simply a deep need to be near him, there was no comparing to the turmoil in his chest now.

Once they were back at headquarters, Flins bid his goodbyes before walking over to find Nikita before leaving. Nothing else. Nothing about yesterday. Or if they might want to fuck again. Or if Flins could imagine seeing Illuga out of the ordinary? Illuga knew it was too much to ask for, but he wanted to feel those lips on his once more. His burning skin on his own. 

Illuga had thought longing for Flins was the hard part. Turned out, once he’d gotten a taste, he only wanted more.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Weeks passed.

Illuga did his job. He ate. He slept. Then repeat. Sometimes he couldn’t sleep. Those times his mind wandered to slender fingers on his body, caressing his scars. Yellow watchful eyes. His tongue in his mouth.

Before, Illuga had stroked his cock at a steady rhythm while imagining his sexual fantasies. Now, after taking Flins up his ass, he needed his fingers inside him. It didn’t do it justice, but it was all he had as he fucked himself while humping his covers. He could make himself feel good, but no matter what he did, it didn’t compare to how he’d felt beneath Flins.

And Flins was never around. Never before had his absence screamed so loudly. Ashamed, Illuga buried himself in work.

It wasn’t till the end of autumn, and a meeting among captains and a few extra, that Flins put his foot on the base once more. Illuga had known he would come, of course, but his chest still fluttered. He wasn’t sure he’d call it butterflies. Between Illuga’s ribs was a cage, and inside was one little bird. Because his little bird heart could flap those wings however much it wished, it wouldn’t be able to fly to Flins.

When they met, everything was like nothing had ever happened. As if Flins had never touched every part of his body. Like he’d never been inside him.

Of the two, Illuga was immature. He knew the complications keeping them apart. Nikita liked Flins, but would he agree to Illuga being his lover? He still didn’t know how old Flins was, but something told him it was old enough to be a problem. It hadn’t been an issue in Flins’s bed, so why should it stop Illuga now?

There had to be another reason. Just like Illuga had a history, so did every lightkeeper. They fought because they didn’t want to lose anyone else. They were all damaged goods here. So what was Flins’s secret?

Illuga did not only question his age. He knew next to nothing about Flins. Why was that? They’d been friends for years. When Flins didn’t want to talk about himself, he simply did not answer. Had Illuga given up on learning anything about him a long time ago?

Flins caught him staring. Illuga was quick to look away. He was supposed to focus. He was in a meeting. And yet, his mind as well as his eyes continued to drift to Flins where he sat, legs and arms crossed. Sometimes he closed his eyes, but he remained awake, answering when spoken to without fault.

Less could be said about Illuga, who answered every question with a “what?” and the person speaking had to repeat their words. It had Nikita wondering if something was wrong once the meeting ended. Illuga lied, saying he had slept badly. It was almost true, just not true enough.

As the others took a drink together, Illuga did not. He didn’t feel like drinking. All he could focus on was Flins. And yet, he didn’t go near him. Eventually he excused himself. It was getting late. Many had become drunk and would be up for several hours yet, but Illuga had work in the morning.

Instead of going back to his lodgings, Illuga hid behind the building he’d just evacuated. He could vaguely hear the celebrations inside. Although reports of the wild hunt had gone down and casualties lessened significantly, Illuga didn’t feel like celebrating.

“If you’re feeling unwell, I’m afraid standing in the cold won’t cure you, young master.”

Illuga almost jumped out of his boots at the sudden company. He placed a hand on his chest, catching his breath.

“Sir Flins. Must you always appear without a sound?” He asked, annoyance clear.

“Oh? And here I thought you had gotten used to sensing my presence?”

Illuga snorted, crossing his arms. “I’m just distracted, that’s all.”

“That’s unlike you, Master Illuga,” Flins concluded, clasping his hands behind his back. When Illuga stared straight forward, all he could see was Flins’s chest. He had nothing to say. Or more like, he had too much to say, all of his questions and feelings building up to one big ball of words ad they were stuck in his throat.

Flins was right. This wasn’t like him.

Before he could gather his wits, bid Flins good night and make his way home, gloved fingers tilted his head up, and the next second, Flins’s lips were on his. Illuga reached for him and Flins allowed Illuga to pull him close. Illuga was cold as ice and Flins’s warm body was more than welcoming.

Their lips stilled, allowing both to breathe. It was a brief moment, but that blink of time was imploding. Illuga needed just tilt his head away and walk off like he had planned. Instead, he put his weight on his toes, lifting him just enough to kiss Flins again.

The time to decide, no longer than the flip of a coin.

Flins easily picked Illuga up from the ground. Locked between the wall and Flins’s body whom he’d crossed his legs, the kiss deepened. With their groins so close he could feel Flins hard on against his own. He looked and acted so indifferent, but his body betrayed him.

Right here, right now, Flins wanted Illuga just as desperately as he did.

Illuga rolled his hips the best he could and got met with Flins thrusting his hips against him too. It was cold outside, but Illuga was warm. Almost too warm in Flins’s embrace. They were clothed, but the pleasure of feeling Flins against him once more was better than anything Illuga could do to himself.

Illuga reached for Flins’s belt, looking to undo his pants as soon as possible, but Flins’s hand on his stopped him.

“Illuga…”

“Please,” Illuga begged, their lips still on each other.

He thought Flins would stand his ground, but instead he pulled off one of his gloves with his teeth before putting his fingers in Illuga’s mouth. He took Flins’s hand, sucking on his fingers, coating them in saliva. Just licking his fingers was hot. Illuga would never recover from this man.

Once he was satisfied, he undid his purple sash and quickly pulled his pants down far enough for Flins to push a finger inside him. All those nights touching himself made the act less uncomfortable than his first time. Flins’s fingers were bigger and longer than his own, but that was just as well. The stretch was pleasurable.

The kiss they had shared slowly ended and Flins recalled his fingers.

This time, he put Illuga down before reaching to undo his belt. Illuga turned around, presenting himself to make it easier for them both. He would have loved to kiss Flins when he pushed inside of him, but this would have to do. Not to mention, feeling Flins’s strong hands on his hips when he took him from behind that first night had been hotter than Illuga had expected.

He bit back a moan as Flins entered him. Flins was so much bigger than Illuga remembered. With their hips together, Flins leaned over to kiss Illuga’s neck. His long hair fell over them, tickling Illuga’s skin. As he fucked him, his kisses continued to lick like fire across Illuga’s neck and ear.

How he’d waited to feel like this again. In his embrace, Illuga felt better. And at the same time, there was a sadness brewing in his chest.

Was this all they were? Friends that fucked in secret?

Flins’s hand found his cock, jerking him off to the rhythm of his thrusts. A loud moan slipped past Illuga’s lips, but Flins was quick to cover his mouth.

“Young master, unless you want someone to find us, you have to keep that pretty voice quiet.”

Illuga took Flins’s gloved hand, keeping it in place and his mouth covered. Flins was pleasuring him in every way imaginable and he was expected to keep it in? He couldn’t do that.

Flins held his hand in place, whispering sweet nothings about how well Illuga was doing, licking his ear. Illuga couldn’t hold it in much longer. His body went numb, his eyes seeing stars. Flins had stopped too. They were both breathing hard, small puffs of smoke came from Illuga’s mouth as he struggled to catch his breath.

As soon as Flins slipped out of him, Illuga pulled his pants up. Cum was running down his thighs, but he couldn’t think about that right now.

Was he losing his mind? They’d been fucking behind the main hall, what if someone had seen them? Had Illuga no consequence thinking when in the company of Flins? Had he not seen the man beneath the clothing, he might truly believe him not human with how intoxicating his lips and touch were to him.

Illuga leaned back against the building. Flins looked like nothing had just happened. Illuga was sure they’d both breathed hard together, he’d felt Flins’s chest rise and fall against his back, but there was no sign of fatigue. No colour to his cheeks, not even as a sign of being cold.

Meanwhile, Illuga was feeling like a mess.

Flins touched his jaw, watching Illuga closely.

“When will you be back?” Illuga asked, unable not to. Fall had come and gone since last they met. It was rarely that long between Flins’s visits, and Illuga couldn’t help but feel like he was the reason why.

“In a week,” Flins said, his face impossible to read.

Illuga didn’t know what to say, watching those yellow eyes carefully. He supposed Flins could feel his pulse with his hand on his jaw. Illuga was out of breath, but it wasn’t just that. It was this infuriating man. Illuga couldn’t believe he’d so happily bent over for him after his absence.

Especially when he now looked at him like this.

Flins leaned down and placed one chaste kiss on Illuga’s lips.

“Good night, master Illuga.”

Then he was gone.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

True to his words, Flins returned a week later.

Not to meet Illuga of course, but for a meeting with Nikita. Illuga didn’t know what about, and nor did he ask. It was bad enough that his adopted father asked him, the night after the night of the celebration, if he and Flins had argued. They hadn’t acted like they used to apparently. Not as “friendly.” That was the word he used. Illuga had blamed it on how he’d felt under the weather, trying not to think too much about the friendly act behind the building.

But maybe that was the issue. Their friendship had changed the moment Illuga crawled into Flins’s lap that night. Flins had always been close to him, but allowing the lightkeeper inside him had pushed him further away.

Why was that?

Illuga had taken the opportunity to ask Nikita to send Flins to Illuga’s office after their meeting was over. And true to his word, Flins stood before him only hours after his arrival.

“Flins…”

“Young master.”

Flins had a way of throwing Illuga off his tracks. Not only inside his chest, but also his words. And he rarely answered. If the subject was one he wished to share no words, the man would remain silent. He seemed to be as persistent as the ever-burning lantern by his side. And Illuga feared his next words, because Flins would not answer.

“That night,” Illuga began, unsure how to express his feelings. “Why did you leave?”

Why did he sneak away? The bed was big enough for three, if he didn’t want to give Illuga the wrong idea, he didn’t have to hold him. But he didn’t have to run.

Flins stood silent.

“I try not to think of you as I do. I’ve been trying not to for a long time. Longer than you might expect. But now, I don’t want to keep it to myself. I need you to know that my feelings for you go beyond friendship or lovers, it’s —“

But Flins’s unaffected gaze quieted the young captain. He used to find that unreadable look entertaining. Guessing what he thought about had been his own little pastime activity. But now, as Illuga wanted Flins to know his heart beat for him, and him alone, guessing what he thought about behind those eyes was no use.

His own gaze fell on the floor. The only way Flins could be his was in between bed sheets. How painful wasn’t that?

“Is something troubling you, master Illuga?” Flins asked as if Illuga hadn’t said enough for him to get it already. Illuga swallowed hard, looking up at the beautiful man in front of him once more.

“Forget it, it wasn’t important.”

Flins relaxed. His posture still straight as ever, but not stiff as it had been after Illuga started talking.

“In that case, I’ll assume you just wanted to see me then.”

“Yeah. I missed your face.”

Flins smiled as he adjusted his gloves. “The captain of the exploration team isn’t bad at giving compliments either, is he?”

“I suppose not,” Illuga agreed, mirroring Flins’s smile. “I’ll see you around.”

That day, Flins stepped out without another word.

Illuga wondered for days if what he’d said, but also didn’t say, had changed things. That their friendship would be forever changed now.

That turned out to be wrong, he learnt the next time Flins visited the base. He spent the night. Although he used one of the guest rooms, Flins spent the majority of the night in Illuga’s bed. Illuga spent the night moaning his name. He’d held him tightly, asking them to go again and again, only for Flins not to leave him too soon. He knew Flins had to come out of his guestroom, and not Illuga’s room, as morning came, but he couldn’t stand to go to bed watching Flins leave him if morning was not yet upon them.

Maybe it was a good thing Flins wouldn’t return for a while. Illuga could rebuild the bars around the cage in his chest. Flins had reached inside of him and melt the metal construction with his fiery touch. Now, Illuga needed time to cool down and forget this heated business. Forget Flins, if only for a little while. Only till they could share the same breath once more.

That was easier said than done at first, Illuga’s bed smelling just like Flins. The other lightkeepers’ scent was everywhere, Illuga lying naked in fur enveloped by Flins. A deep, familiar scent, like walking through the forests at night. It was impossible not to get lost in it.  

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

It was easy to stay busy. Flins had steered his eyes away from Illuga before, he could do it again. Flins held the patience of several lifetimes. This thing they shared now was not convenient, but Flins indulged. If Illuga was a dessert, Flins allowed himself a bite.

If not for his sake, then the young lightkeeper’s.

Flins wasn’t oblivious to the young man’s feelings. He too could feel the tug between their hearts. But Illuga didn’t know that they would never work. Maybe now, when the man was still young, but one day Illuga would grow older. And it wouldn’t stop.

Flins had told himself it was for Illuga. He wouldn’t have to live with the two of them never growing old together. But lately he’d begun to wonder if it wasn’t his own selfish reasons, shielding his own heart.

Even being lovers may have to be temporary, but until Illuga’s heart could move on and find someone to love, Flins would take whatever the young man was willing to give him. He was the most precious gem in Flins’s collection.

Flins hadn’t known what to say that day in the office where Illuga usually worked. Clear for everyone to see, Illuga didn’t know which words to aid him either. In the end, he’d settled for none. He was a clever man, he knew Flins wouldn’t say the words both desperately wanted to hear. Both of them burned so vividly. Eventually, they would burn out, words unsaid.

So Flins stayed away. He had his own work cut out for him, and Illuga would be busy during winter. Not only was work tougher as the snow fell, but one of his colleagues had fallen ill, leaving Illuga to deal with paperwork he normally didn’t work with. He told Flins he’d volunteered. Flins couldn’t help but think it was because he was interested. The human wanted to be busy, and he always took on other burdens if only not to see others suffer.

It was foolish, but a part of his nature.

Sitting with his next report, knowing Illuga was the one who would go over it, made it even harder to write. Flins disliked the reports in general, but now he was in even more loss of what to write. His strength lay not in reports, they lay in penning letters.

So, with loss for anything else to write, Flins pinned a letter. He greeted Illuga as master Illuga. He told him about the weather, about his watches and the frequency of the wild hunt. Which wasn’t a lot.

Although Nod Krai saw little snow compared to Snezhnaya, the region fell into a quiet slumber. Few wandered the mountains. Few travellers visited from abroad. Animals kept to themselves, and the people stayed indoors. The wild hunt rested. Even the ghosts kept quiet, frozen in time.

Only Flins remained unbothered. He walked the night in his usual black robes and lit the way in cold blue firelight. He worked. He frequented Aino’s workshop for tea at their request. He visited Nasha town sparsely.

Describing the cold of his lighthouse made him think of the warmth of Illuga. Because, although he paled in comparison to a fiery being like himself, Illuga was a warmth Flins couldn’t get enough of.

Illuga was perfect. His body beautiful, adorned in scars Flins adored. They were a sign of how human he was. How he could bleed, and his body adjust. Flins never held back when it came to praising the young captain. His beauty, his voice or how well his body held up with Flins inhuman vitality.

Flins added this too. How he missed the warmth of his naked skin beneath his hands.

The reports were for statistics, they were all burned later to not hoard paperwork. They were excellent for starting fires.

For once in his life, Flins was rather impressed with his report. If he was not allowed to meet the young master, he could at least get this.

Flins had regretfully succumbed to touching himself to the thought of Illuga. He wasn’t proud of it. One day, as his mind drowned in the memory of the young lightkeeper, he’d reached for his sketchbook and drawn Illuga as he remembered him. Flushed and naked, draped in nothing but a red earring. His hair a chaotic beautiful mess.

Flins never got any feedback on his reports and after his first report meant for Illuga’s eyes only, he received none either. It was normal. Still, Flins thought it a little disappointing. It took two to write letters after all.

So Flins wrote another report disguised as a letter. The necessary information was there. The extra was for Illuga alone. Describing how he would kiss him if he could. His body. His scars. His most vulnerable parts. Describing where he’d touch him and how he’d eat every delightful moan and savour them on his tongue.

His letters remained unanswered. Flins continued his writing either way. Every week more daring than the next.

Eventually, Flins didn’t write a single word about the weather, the wild hunt or if the humans got lost in the darkness. He sent him a letter containing solely the carnal acts he wished to put Illuga through. He kept it suggestive, walking a fine balance of proper penmanship and simply lewd writing. That wasn’t his style. He wanted Illuga to know how his body ached to touch him, but left some content open for interpretation.

He told himself that would be the last. Illuga only had a few weeks left of his extra responsibilities. He’d embarrassed him enough. A part of him hoped it had brought some smile to Illuga’s face among the heaps of reports he needed to go through. Or something to get off to, he supposed.

If he knew Illuga as well as he thought he did, the young man would accuse him of flirtatious behaviour which he took no responsibility for. Wasn’t that what he’d said that night at his lighthouse? He’d wondered about those words. When did complementing others and keeping a polite manner fall out of fashion?

Flins had lived long in this age, but sometimes he wondered if long was long enough or if he would always be one step behind, he with his century-old manner. If Illuga knew who he really was, maybe he could have asked him. But that wasn’t the case, and for as long as possible, Flins would keep it from him.

The human was quick to catch on. He’d notice sooner than others how Flins would not age. He’d look like this while the others continued without him. It was a sad tale, loving humanity but be bound to watch them fade. Born and then die again.

He was sure Illuga would live long. Maybe a part of him wished to die on that battlefield as he thought he was meant to do many years ago, but Flins wanted him to live a long life. A happy one. For as long as Flins was here, he’d protect that future.

A week after his romantic letter, a fellow lightkeeper came to deliver him a letter in return. In the sparse chance that someone wrote, it was one of two people. Aino, asking him to come over. Or Nikita, asking him to return to base.

This time, it was neither.

His full name was written across the envelope. Illuga only used his other names when he was upset. No “Flins,” or “Sir Flins.” No one but Illuga called him Kyryll anymore. It was an ancient name he’d all but put behind him.

This was the response he’d waited for.

“Return to headquarters promptly.

– Illuga. “

Flins allowed the paper to burn in his hands.  

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Flins knocked twice.

A reply came short after.

Flins stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Illuga was standing in front of his desk, leaning back on the edge. His coat was hung over the chair, exposing his shoulders and arms. And, his back. It would be so easy to caress his spine, could Flins just get close enough.

Not that he would instigate anything. His hand on Illuga’s naked back didn’t align with what his patience rested upon.

“You called for me, young master?”

Illuga remained quiet, his eyes searching. Flins couldn’t tell for what. He himself remained a closed book. Feet shoulder-wide, hands clasped behind his back. He was used to Nikita giving him an earful when he’d run off on his own too much or slacked with reports. This was nothing new, and Flins carried his head high.

Illuga crossed his arms.

“Anything troubling you, Illuga?”

“There is.”

“Oh my. That doesn’t bode well, does it?” Flins responded, acting the fool. He wasn’t about to put his cards on the table just yet.

Illuga sighed heavily. “Your reports, Flins.” He didn’t use his full name. That told Flins a lot. Partially that no matter how the young man tried to be intimidating, he wasn’t really angry. In the same manner, Flins was in no real trouble.

“They are lacking. Quite unsubstantial even.”

“My apologies, master Illuga. I assure you one tried to be as detailed as possible, but if you find my work unsatisfactory, please, tell me how to rectify my mistakes.”

Illuga’s gaze averted his own, but for a second as he cleared his throat. “I can think of one or two ways you can make it up to me.”

“Oh?” Flins took a few long steps inside the room, putting him at arm’s length from the captain. “Enlighten me.”

Illuga straightened before reaching for Flins’s belt, pulling him close. His cheeks blossomed, but his voice remained steady as he spoke.

“You’re a creative man, Sir Flins. Make.

Up.

For.

It.”   

Flins leaned down, capturing Illuga’s lips with his own, his hands on the man’s neck and jaw. Illuga in turn, pulled Flins impossibly closer, trapping himself between the desk and the other.

It had been weeks, and Flins had missed the human more than he thought he could. He’d tasted the forbidden fruit, and now he needed to come back for more. The kiss was heavy, their tongues tasting each other as if neither of them had been able to breathe since last they met. It was intoxicating. Flins could feel his sense of right and wrong vaporise.

This hunger was unfamiliar to him.

Illuga was first to pull apart. Even Flins felt out of breath, and he needed not breathe at all.

“Did you lock the door?”

Flins smirked. Of course, he’d locked the door. This little lightkeeper could use Flins’s full name and cross his arms all he liked, but they both knew this was what Flins was called here for all along.

“Then you won’t mind getting on your knees, do you?”  

Flins kissed Illuga’s jaw. Then his neck and his scar. All while his fingers followed his descending kisses along his spine. Flins slowly got to his knees, making sure to keep eye contact in between kisses. His fingers slipped inside Illuga’s shirt, lifting the fabric just enough to kiss his belly.

Illuga helped him out, Flins’s hands instead free to undo Illuga’s pant enough to let his cock out. Flins had felt his erection grow as they kissed. Now his cock stood, eager for attention. Flins continued to kiss Illuga’s lower abdomen, licking his skin, spreading kisses along his pelvis, breathing in his scent.

Illuga ran his fingers through his hair, brushing through his short ends. When Flins finally kissed the base of his cock, kissing and licking where the lightkeeper wanted him, the grip of his hair hardened.

Flins let Illuga’s cock slide between his lips, earning him another sharp tug of his hair but also a soft sigh between the man’s lips. Flins, with no need to breathe, took all of him, bobbing his head up and down his length.

“Flins…—!”

Illuga swore above him, his breath strained from pleasure. Flins carefully caressed his balls, careful not to hurt him.

Illuga didn’t last long. He warned Flins, but he had no intention to move. Instead, he swallowed as Illuga came down his throat.

As Flins got up from the floor, he stole another kiss from Illuga’s breathless mouth. “Do you forgive me?”

Illuga nodded, quick to get dressed again. “For now,” Illuga said against his lips. “I’m going to need you to write proper reports here on out.”

Flins frowned. That wasn’t very enjoyable news. “Not substantial enough for you, was it?”

Illuga licked his lips. Flins opened his mouth again, Illuga’s lips between his.

“Maybe you should come by the lighthouse to show me how it’s done?”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Illuga had been unable to hide a smile as he opened the first report from Flins. It was both informative and sweet. Albeit a bit daring. Illuga had to make sure several time that he was in fact alone.

The next letter was less informative. More daring. It caught Illuga off guard.

The third week was even worse. The fourth week was the same. Illuga tried to ignore the suggestive words, but they stirred something inside him. Reports leaving him with a boner, that wasn’t right. Even worse when he had to do something about it, knowing well Flins probably meant him to.

The last report was Illuga’s last straw. There was no information, just suggestive prose. More vivid than last time, not at all unsubstantial as he claimed it to be when he finally had Flins in front of him again. He’ll admit the letter penned to him was written in frustration, but, as one of the captains of the lightkeepers, he was annoyed.

As Illuga, who was just a man with a heart, he was glad Flins had come. Maybe he should have written to him earlier. Flins didn’t mind the weather, he would have gone here if Illuga had asked him, he was sure.

No matter, he was here now. And although Illuga would rather have Flins bend him over the desk, he needed to restrain himself. Although he ordered Flins on his knees, they both knew the older lightkeeper had Illuga right where he wanted him. And after that blow job, Illuga was convinced Flins was unreal.

When Flins asked if Illuga would visit the lighthouse to show him how he wanted the reports to be written, Illuga knew there would be no writing. But that was what he wanted. He wanted Flins to himself.

So when the opportunity to travel to the mainland came, Illuga took it. Nikita questioned it, asking if he didn’t have enough on his plate as it was, which was true, but Illuga claimed the fresh air would do him good. He added some truth to it by saying he’d stay the night at Flins’s lighthouse, so he’d be in safe hands. He tried not to blush as he said it.

Nikita had a lot of faith in him and still he fussed when Illuga went alone. He couldn’t blame him. Illuga was the same. Even for someone as capable as Flins. Illuga was capable, and even if his team returned in shambles and his body bled, he still kept upright. When Flins returned from such a treacherous mission, Flins returned as pristine as he left. He barely had blood to wash of his clothes.

Illuga had always been impressed. He was clearly not an ordinary lightkeeper. His skill with a weapon and the way he could analyse a battlefield were beyond the rest. Illuga included, despite trying to learn.

Flins had once said there was nothing wrong with how Illuga approached a battle, him having learnt well from studying Flins. Illuga’s fault was stepping between a comrade and danger at any given chance. Flins didn’t fault him for it, he simply reminded him that he was mortal and that his still young life should be valued higher by the man.

Walking over the graveyard felt no different from walking into battle. His heart beat in anticipation. There was dread as well as longing in his steps. There was unease in his bones.

Flins was tending to the fire as Illuga entered. He’d knocked once before opening the door. For some reason, stepping into the lighthouse felt like home.

Illuga threw his backpack and coat on the sofa. Flins looked at him with curiosity.

“How was the walk?”

“Cold,” Illuga answered, sliding down next to Flins on the fur in front of the fire.

Flins pulled off his gloves, taking Illuga’s bare hands in his own. “That’s something we can deal with,” he explained, kissing Illuga’s hand. Gentle as always.

When Flins tried to lean in to kiss Illuga’s lips, he turned his head away.

“How about we do what I came here to do, and then you can do whatever you want with me?”

Flins raised an eyebrow. “That sounds fair, albeit ominous.”

”It’s just reports, Sir Flins,” Illuga assured before kissing Flins’s cheek. “Do you mind if I borrow something of yours? These are really cold,” he continued, gesturing to his clothes.

“Take whatever you need.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When Illuga returned, Flins had taken a seat by the table, quill and paper on the surface.

“If you don’t mind me saying, Master Illuga, I –”

Flins quieted at the sight of Illuga. His gaze wandered up and down.  

“I think you forgot something,” was his only conclusion.

Illuga looked down at his bare legs. Flins probably couldn’t tell that he wasn’t wearing underwear either due to his own shirt reaching down Illuga’s thighs.

“I think you forgot something,” Illuga echoed as he straddled Flins’s lap. “Like how your letters made me feel during your absence.” Illuga undid Flins’s belt as he spoke. He’d planned his revenge for a while. Otherwise, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his cool. It was bad enough that he blushed.

Illuga wasn’t a dominant character. He liked to believe people appreciated his leadership due to persistence and a kind heart. But Illuga was annoyed. By a lot of things even. And at the centre of it all was Flins.

And Flins didn’t stop him when Illuga touched his cock, eventually sinking down on it. Illuga had prepared himself under the pretence of switching clothing. He hadn’t been that cold, but the thought of being enveloped in his scent was an opportunity too good to pass up on.

“So, you did appreciate them then?”

Illuga wasn’t about to indulge him.

“You already know how I feel about them. I can’t believe they let you get away with what you write,” Illuga said, trying to sound indifferent about the pleasure of Flins inside him once more.

“Well, yours were special.”

“I noticed, I read the older on— Don’t move,” Illuga ordered as Flins tried to kiss him once more.

“Since when did you become so disrespectful of your elders, young master?”

Illuga handed Flins his pen, not answering the other’s remark. Flins took it, his eyes scanning Illuga for any sign of a crack in his façade. If he found one, he did not exploit it.

“Do you mind if we move closer to the table?”

Illuga agreed, but the thrust inside him as they moved the chair had him biting back a moan. That was definitely on purpose and Illuga should have figured. He wouldn’t allow it again.

Without any further mischief or argument, Flins put his pen to paper. Sometimes he asked Illuga what he wanted to see him write, to which Illuga answered. He’d been running his fingers through Flins’s hair to pass the time.

“How old are you?”

The hand around Illuga’s waist hugged him tighter. “Too old for you.”

“Oh, really?” Illuga asked, stealing Flins’s attention. Flins looked young. Illuga was young, but he was several years over twenty now. His guess had been that Flins might be around thirty. He couldn’t possibly be much older.

Could he?

Flins didn’t answer. Instead, he kept writing. Illuga, on the other hand, was slowly beginning to get bored. So he kissed Flins’s neck. He ran his tongue over the smooth skin, nibbling at his ear.

Flins squirmed beneath him.

“Illuga…”

“You’re taking too long.”

“You are distracting.”

“Can’t focus?” Illuga asked, rolling his hips once. He bit his lip. Torturing the man beneath him was like a double-edged sword. Illuga too was desperately longing for this to be over.

Flins’s grip around his waist hardened, but the man was smiling. “And what about you, young master? Is your patience running thin?”

Illuga raised an eyebrow, before realisation slowly crept in. He glanced over his shoulder, the report signed and ready.

“How long have you been done?” he asked, but a surprised yelp escaped him as Flins stood and put Illuga on his back across the table.

“A while now,” Flins admitted. “I’ll admit it was the most pleasurable time I’ve had while filing paperwork, but in terms of patience —” Flins caressed Illuga’s naked thigh.

— “I have plenty.”

Flins opened the shirt, his hand familiar with the buttons. Then he kissed Illuga’s chest. “I simply had to wait for you to start squirming on your own, young master.”

Illuga might have been beaten at his own game, but it was no loss. He wanted Flins to move. The older lightkeeper was right. His patience was poor. And with Flins, it was barely existing.

So he allowed Flins to fuck him on the table. Neither of them lasted very long. When Flins kissed him, Illuga begged him not to stop. He’d missed him. Finally being able to feel him this close felt like a dream.

The fire was still burning when Flins lay him down on the soft fur in front of the fireplace. And so did Illuga. His body was on fire. Warm. A light sweat across his skin. Flins’s naked skin against his own.

Flins. Flins. Flins.

Illuga moaned his name like a prayer. He dug his nails into his back, wanting to carve his existence into him.

The way Flins said his name was intoxicating. His lips on his skin and his teeth in his flesh. He wanted him to mark him. To make Illuga his.

Illuga kissed Flins’s chest. His heart. Why couldn’t he have his heart?

Why couldn’t Flins be his?

“Illuga?”

The young lightkeeper looked up through wet lashes. Flins was a blur above him.  

“I’m sorry…” he blurred, quick to wipe his eye, but the tears did not stop. They fell from the corner of his eye and into his hair.

Until Flins kissed his cheek. Kissed the corner of his eye. Pushed his hair out of his face. It was comforting.

It hurt so badly. His chest was caving in, exposing whatever remained of the cage inside him. His little bird heart unprotected.

“I hate it when you leave,” Illuga whispered. “I- I worry you won’t come back.”

“For you, I will always come back.”

Illuga shook his head. “Then why won’t you let me love you?”

Flins’s face was still blurry, but Illuga saw enough to see surprise slapped across his face.

Illuga could try to explain it, but the words did not come to him. He hated how quiet Flins was. Every time he’d tried to tell Flins how he felt for him, Flins gave him that look that Illuga knew so well. He wouldn’t talk. Just like he didn’t answer Illuga now.

Illuga took a big breath. It was hard to breathe. The tears did not stop.

“Young master, don’t cry…”

“I’m not sad Kyryll, I’m furious,” he declared, cutting Flins off. “You never even explain why you won’t let me love you. Why can’t you just be honest with me?”

Flins remained silent.

“Are you completely unmoved by my feelings?” Illuga sobbed.

Flins kissed his neck. It wasn’t hungry and ravenous as it had previously been, but tender and soft. Illuga clung to him, crying into his shoulder as he rolled his hips, wanting Flins to move once more. He wanted him to fuck him through it.

Flins held him close. His hips met Illuga’s at a slow pace. It felt good. He hated to silence his heart with sex, but what choice did he have?

When Illuga came, he hugged Flins impossibly closer. He apologised into his shoulder. He stayed quiet as Flins carried him to the washroom. Neither said anything as Flins washed them off.

Illuga wished he had the energy to speak, but he was tired. So tired.

Flins dressed him in one of his shirts before carrying the young lightkeeper to bed. To Illuga’s surprise,

Flins stayed with him.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Illuga woke when Flins got out of bed. It was before dawn. He listened to him move around in the kitchen, and when Flins returned, he once more carried two cups of tea in his hands.

Illuga wanted to enjoy it. He’d done so last time despite Flins not spending the night with him. It had been a painful blow to his hopes but the joy of finally kissing Flins, finally feeling his hands on his body, had overshadowed the stab to his heart.  

This time, Flins had stayed with him, but the two had never been further apart.

Illuga hadn’t meant to cry, but the emotions had become too much. He’d been overwhelmed by a want that Flins could not satisfy. Flins not loving him was one thing, but he did not allow Illuga to love him either. He couldn’t tell Flins how he felt. Not really.

And frustration won.

And when Flins asked if he wanted company for the journey home, Illuga declined. Flins did not insist.

Flins never insisted. Whatever Illuga wanted. Illuga got.

Except for his heart.

It was so painstakingly frustrating that Illuga had no words to explain it. Instead, he went home. When Nikita wondered if he had a good time, and if Flins was well, Illuga smiled and lied.

He’d grown accustomed to lying when it came to Flins. Lying felt bad. To others. To himself.

Winter was only halfway upon them, and as long as the hills remained covered in snow, so would Illuga shelter his heart. So, when Flins next visited, Illuga pretended like he did not exist.

The same applied for the following visit. And the one after that.

Flins didn’t question it. He gave Illuga space.

It was driving Illuga crazy.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Flins didn’t know what to do. He’d held Illuga through that night. He’d felt his heart beneath his palm and been constantly reminded of the turmoil he caused inside that small chest.

Flins knew being with Illuga, even if it was only for sex, was a bad idea. This was his fault. Illuga was right to be angry with him. So when Illuga left, Flins did not try to stop him.

Illuga’s tears were profound. Flins wanted to assure him, tell him what his heart desired, but he couldn’t. What he did now wasn’t fair, but sowing false hope was not right. If Illuga loved him, he’d love nothing but a fleeting moment. The years they could share would be few.

And Flins was scared. If he allowed himself to act upon that love for the human, would his heart bear to one day let him go?

Flins didn’t want to think about it.

When he first returned to base after that night, Illuga treated him like air. It was just as well. But not feeling Illuga’s eyes search for him was a feeling he greatly missed.

The second time he came by, the same thing happened. That time, Nikita invited Flins for wine. He asked if everything was alright between the two. Flins told him that nothing was wrong. He could tell Illuga had done the same.

The third time Flins returned, spring was almost upon them. Nikita begged him to tell Illuga the truth then.

“You have to tell him.”

Flins had declined. He didn’t want Illuga to know he wasn’t human. He liked to know Illuga thought of him as nothing but a man.

“He adores you,” he tried then. Flins knew what he really meant. That Illuga loved him. That was a thought which made his burning heart burst. Knowing Illuga loved him was a small comfort.

“I’d hardly imagine you approve?” Flins asked him then, hands behind his back and his gaze on the lower levels of the base. Illuga was down there, playing with a dog that had run up to him as he passed. Flins wanted to protect that inner child of his, and in their time, that was easier said than done.

Illuga wasn’t supposed to love a creature of the night like himself.

“I do not,” the starshyna agreed. “He deserves to be with someone who can love him. Grow old with him.”

“On that, we agree.”

“But he wants you, and ever since winter came, his smile hasn’t been the same. The least you can do is tell him why.”

Flins breathed out. No smoke rose from his breath.

“You see that smile?” he asked, referring to Illuga who’d rolled another ball of snow to throw for the dog. “He can still smile. He remembers how.“

Nikita sighed next to him, but did not push Flins further. It was too late anyway. Nikita’s words haunted him.

Tell him the truth. He deserved the truth.

Flins agreed, of course, he agreed. But the truth would hurt. Maybe he would even hate Flins. Or worse, fear him.

By his fourth visit, only a week after his third, Flins sought Illuga himself. He asked if anything was wrong. The young man declined, saying he was well. That was all Flins needed to know. It was enough for him to know that Illuga would be okay. Given time, the young man would be fine.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Spring came earlier than usual. The snow melted, and grass once more made itself known among the graves. Even the flowers thrived in the still cold environment. It was a peculiar sight, but one Flins found amusing.

When the snow disappeared, a lot of things were once more brought to the surface or remembered. In Flins’s case, it was bones. From whatever creature had died in the winter nights, their bones were preserved in his collection.

He’d built a lot of figures by now. Animals mostly. As spring embraced them, he made a flower. A dead thing, no need for sunlight or air, but still preserved in time, bound to bloom forever.

Flins supposed he missed Illuga more than he’d expected he would.

And had Flins been human, there was no way he’d avoid the fist to his face when he first saw the young man again.

Flins had sensed he was nearby. He’d seen him as he came closer. He was in his usual coat, carrying his usual backpack. It looked like he was paying Flins a visit.

When he was close enough, his backpack fell to the floor, and the next second, his fist was on a trajectory meant to break Flins’s nose.

“May I ask what has prompted this violent greeting?”

“You ask what’s wrong with me, and when I say nothing, you disappear for months?”

Flins dodged another fist and blocked a quick kick with his shoulder.

“You told me you were fine, and I believe in you.”

When another angry kick came for him, Flins admitted that might not have been the best answer to give. He took a step back, creating space between them.

“I’ll admit your avoidance brought me cause to worry, but your deflective response told me that the last person you wished to talk to was me.”

“Why can’t you tell me what you want?” Illuga asked, ignoring Flins’s adjustment.

Flins moved out of the way again. He wished Illuga would stop trying to hit him, but he deserved this anger. He was skilled enough not to let the human land a hit on him, but maybe that was more frustrating. Flins wasn’t sure what to do.

“What I want doesn’t really matter, young master.”

“Doesn’t matter?” Illuga questioned with a scoff. “Flins. I don’t care if you’re not human. If you think my fragile humanity is in the way of what we could be, then so may be, but at least tell —”

Illuga’s words and the arm he’d swung both stopped in Flins’s grip. Quick to turn the tables around, Flins now held Illuga still. He’d swung them around as if they were dancing, and if not for Flins holding the young man, he’d fall to the ground.

“Now, where did you get that idea?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Illuga bit back, and mischievous as he was, he kicked Flins’s feet out from under him.

Flins quick reflexes saved them both, but Illuga was nimble as a weasel, quick to get Flins on his back where he straddled his hips. Usually, Flins didn’t mind this position, but this time he had to block yet another fist aimed at his face.

“I’m in love with you, and you won’t let it mean anything because you are afraid of me growing old? Or what? Can’t you just be honest with me for once!”

Illuga tried to hit him again, but there was no power in his punch, and Flins easily deflected, catching the other off guard as he sat up and pressed his lips to Illuga’s. There was always a chance that Illuga might hit him now, but Flins took that risk.

Instead, Illuga seemed to melt in his lap. His shoulders and thighs relaxed. Flins had seen the tears threatening to fall, and he wouldn’t let them. He didn’t want to infuriate him to tears. He didn’t want to make him cry.

“You should find someone else to love, Illuga. Someone you can grow old with.”  

“Even if you love me?”

Flins looked down on those pleading eyes. As a tear fell, Flins caught it.

“Even if I love you.” Because he did. He’d loved him for so long. Being without him, letting him go, was the right thing to do. Not what his heart wished. But he loved him,

more than anything.

Illuga smiled through his tears, kissing him again. “I don’t care, Flins. I want you, and I’ve never been selfish about anything, so please don’t push me away.”  

Flins pushed Illuga’s bangs from his face. He smiled because he finally got to hear the words he longed to hear, but the human was still upset.

“Don’t leave me like everybody else…”

Flins hugged Illuga close, promising that he wouldn’t. He told the young man everything he’d denied him. Flins wanted nothing but to love him. To live and breathe this young man. Illuga knew who he was, and still he asked him to stay.

Flins hugged him close. He would never leave him.

For as long as Illuga wanted him, Flins would stay.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆