Chapter Text
Despite the constant musty smell surrounding everything, which Joel has never had the luxury to comment on due to not actually knowing anything else, the contrast between the outside and inside air of their dingy little apartment was something he immediately noticed.
Grumbling, he threw his ratty blanket off of himself, the loss of the warm air he had trapped with his body heat throughout the night whittling away in mere seconds. With a scowl on his face, the 13-year-old muttered complaints under his breath and made his way down the cold metal ladder that connected to his mattress on top of his and Gem’s shared bunkbed. In retrospect, had he known that every morning he would have to feel the cool touch of the icy metal on his hands and sock-covered feet, he wouldn’t have called first dibs on the top bunk when they moved here. Maybe Gem thought of that before he did, hence why she never complained about being on the bottom.
Speaking of Joel’s twin sister, she lets out a groan herself, some word between the lines of a “shut up” and other incoherent grumbles, pulling her wild, fiery orange hair underneath her worn-down pillow. On most occasions he would try to be quieter, but pettiness fueled him with his already downtrodden mood and shivering body so he didn’t bother to quiet his footsteps on the floorboards that always seemed to creak extra loud in the morning.
Leaving their room, the chill of outside was even more apparent, and he quickly made his way down the rickety metal stairs to get to the first floor. Joel rubbed at his eyes as the thumps of his feet made it to the bottom of the stairs, crusty gunk in the corners accompanying the rest of the layer of dirt that always caked him and his siblings. Everything was dirty, and he was well aware that they were some of the luckier few.
Grian, though he never confessed exactly how, had managed to secure them a place to stay, live in, and make a home out of. Joel had a sinking suspicion that his older brother had probably talked to Cleo, who then talked to other merchants when they did their business, who then informed Grian about it…or maybe Grian just sold his soul away or something. With how often he was gone doing his stupid runs and seemingly endless jobs he might as well have.
Joel had made his way to the back door, just underneath the shabby stairway next to the multiple assortments of boxes and shelves overloaded with probable necessities and knick-knacks, and gave it a firm shove to get it to fully close, the cold breeze blowing air and disappearing with a thump. Despite the now lack of incoming chilly air, the damage had already been done and until the heat, the little that came from the pipes, was fixed, the rest of the house would remain in the cold state it now was.
For someone who’s always scolding us about leaving the doors unlocked, leaving without checking if the door was fully closed is pretty dumb. Joel thought to himself, traveling back up the rickety stairs to go back to his shared room.
The likelihood of him actually falling back asleep was pretty slim, yet he continued to trudge back up the icy metal ladder and pull his ratty blanket back over himself.
As he laid there, practically wide awake, Joel’s thoughts began to swirl more about his siblings, about Grian.
For the last few weeks, Grian had been gone more and more, always doing runs and odd jobs. Promises to be back by certain times quickly became promises he’d be back at all. Just last night the three of them had been arguing about it.
“Look, I promise this isn’t going to be forever you guys.” Grian muttered, head in his hand, while half leaning, half slumped against the counter. The sink’s faucet just behind him dripping rhythmically.
Gem sat on the stairs, not facing either of them, folded into herself with red-rimmed eyes and a furrowed brow. Joel knew she didn’t believe him because neither did he. “Will you stop that?” Joel cried out, pulling his arms tightly across his chest, frustration running through his entire body.
“Stop what?” Grian seemed actually puzzled, and the sight of his confused brow just made Joel angrier. What a stupid thing to be so angry about..
“Making promises! What’s the point in making them if you never keep them anyway…” Joel’s finger clutched his arms tighter, dirty fingernails threatening to pierce his skin. His everyday brown vest was left somewhere upstairs, stained muddy white shortsleeved sweatshirt almost swallowing him up. He wishes it would.
He didn’t make eye contact with Grian, he couldn’t. He knew that this argument would eventually just turn into more scolding and cross glares. All their conversations seemed to end like this now.
“That is not fair and you know it. I keep my word..”
Without having to look, Joel could already sense the offended expression that probably dawned on Grians’ face. With his eyes still downcast, Joel heard rather than saw the sound of Grian sitting up straight, preparing himself for his typical ‘lecture mode’.
Great. Just great.
Without much thought, a scoff escaped Joel’s lips. The idea that his brother believed he was a person capable of making and legitimately keeping promises baffled him. Any promise Grian made recently was just made after he’d break the initial ones, an seemingly endless cycle of promises. Joel rolled his eyes, “Yeah right, believe what you want I guess.”
“Look, I am sorry that you feel like this hasn’t turned out to be exactly the way you wanted to be, but I have to keep us afloat.”
Joel’s brows creased down, a bubbling, burning feeling of something in his chest. Hurt? Shame? He wasn’t sure, but his brothers’ words cut deep. Maybe he is being unfair, but it’s not like he was expecting things to be perfect all of a sudden..was it really too much to ask to just see his older brother..?
The sound of fabric was heard as Grian’s next words were muffled after seemingly putting his head back into his hands. “You two just don’t understand how much I’ve had to give up for us to live the way we do.”
That angry, shameful burning flared again in his chest, Joel’s face flushing red as he bit his bottom lip to stop it from quivering. He was well aware of how much Grian had given up, he wasn’t some stupid kid anymore!
With a shaky intake of air, he cried out in retaliation, “Well then, sorry that we’re just such a burden to you!” Joel’s voice echoed off the thin metal-plated walls. “If we’re such a hassle maybe you should just leave us too, see if it runs in the family!”
Warm liquid was on the rims of his eyelids, but he refused to let them fall now, bottom lip quivering rapidly now that he wasn’t biting on it anymore. Huffing, Joel turned away with haste and stomped up the stairs back to the safety of his room. He ignored Gem sitting on the stairs, holding her head in her knees, shoulders quivering with hitching cries.
He didn’t look back at Grian either, not catching the heartbroken and downright horrified look that now adorned his face.
He’s such an idiot.
With a jolt, Joel hastily blinks away any stray tears that almost spilled from his eyes as they had started to build up when he got lost in thought about last night. It was just the dust or the dumb chilly air he swears to himself. With one last shuffle of his body, he pulls his blanket up closer to his chin, closing his eyes to try and get some semblance of shut eye.
—————————————————————————————
“Joelllll,” Gem whined as she pulled her boots up, her ratchety dusty blue overalls and long socks bunching at the top of them, “get your butt dressed, we’re supposed to be going on a scavenging run with Bdubs today!”
With a few weary blinks, even more crust and grim built up in his eyes, Joel slowly sat up with a groan. “Y’know Gem, how come I’m only 13 and yet my whole body already hurts?” he huffed, rubbing at his shoulder as he began scooting towards the ladder, “Thought only old people like Grian have to deal with that..”
“It’s probably cause you’re ancient.”
“Excuse you?? I’m like only 5 minutes older than you, Gem!-“
Gem stuck her tongue out, pulling her hair into her 2nd pigtail and grabbing her headband wrap. On normal days, when Joel and Gem got up at the same time, he would help Gem with her hair. It was one of the few quiet bonding moments the two shared that didn’t involve any swearing or mild destruction.
Grian used to be a part of it too.
Joel shook his head, having gotten himself halfway dressed minus his brown jacket vest, belts and boots, filed that thought away quickly. Today was going to be a fun day, and he wouldn’t let the absence of their older brother deter the fun they were going to have. Plus, if Gem complained about being late later, he would argue he deserved to oversleep today.
“I’m heading downstairs, since you’re sooo slow I get to pick what’s for breakfast,” Gem gave him a mischievous grin as she quickly sped out of the room, “better hurry up if you want to get any!” Her voice echoed as the thumps of her shoes met the stairs.
Joel let out a groan of annoyance, he didn’t even get a chance to argue about deserving it before Gem had already made her escape. He grew more annoyed knowing Gem would ultimately choose the can of pineapples they had stocked up on. He hated pineapples, a fact he did not hide and yet despite his efforts, Gem’s fan favorite fruit never seemed to not be there..
Finally done pulling on and lacing up his boots, Joel made his way downstairs, seeing Gem already digging into her portion of breakfast, and just like he suspected, slimy pineapple slices adorned her, and presumably his, plate. Gross.
Walking over to the only table they had in the house, Joel sat down in front of the musty couch, purposefully not looking at the other spot at the table that used to be occupied by the twins older brother.
“What time’re we supposed to meet Bdubs?” Joel mumbled through the food in his mouth, pineapple juice dripping down his chin.
Gem grimaced, a disgusted expression on her face, and muttered, “Ok first, gross, eat with your mouth closed,” Joel opened his mouth to retort, but was quickly cut off, “and secondly, we’re supposed to meet ‘em down by the Outpost at like 10.”
Joel gave a huff at that, the Outpost was stupid. Try as he might, Bdubs was never able to actually make it as cool as he believed it was. Apparently, he had met some “cool, mysterious guy” there with white hair and some gasmask and a “badass scar that made his whole eye a bloody red,” but in all honesty, Joel thinks Bdubs just met some old weirdo tweaker.
Not to mention the Outpost was like, baby grounds for meetups, 10-year-olds meet up there! Yeah the giant rusty pipes were maybe a little cool if not absolutely terrifying, as many seemed to have no end, or worse led to the bottom level. But it was also at the very edge of the east end of the city, hence the name “Outpost.” It used to be the East Outpost but the shitheads on top level had taken control of the west one, leaving Mid-Level to only have the one now.
The lack of sleep did nothing to help the lack of energy Joel knew he would need to go to the opposite side of where they lived. Stupid Grian making us live west-center, yeah it was closer to business, but stupid stupid stupid far away Outpost-
Joel continued muttering incoherent complaints as he shoved the rest of his pineapple slices in his mouth, wiping his hands on his sweatshirt and promptly ignoring the questioning brow of Gem as she quickly, and with much more grace, finished the last of her breakfast as well.
Grabbing his plate, he walked over to the sink, the rusty faucet never seemed to stop dripping, and placed it in, Gem joining next to him and repeating the same motion. With the backdoor right there to their left, Joel grasped the doorknob and gave a firm pull.
The doorframe groaned ever so slightly and Joel grimaced at the sound and the dumb back door that never seemed to close without trouble. “Got everything you need?” he asked, turning towards his sister.
“Yup!” Gem felt her pockets, brows suddenly raising, “Oh wait! Shoot, I forgot to grab something, hold on..!” Gem turned and rushed back towards the stairs, ignoring the annoyed groan Joel let out.
“I’ll be outside!” Joel yelled out, already beginning to head out the door. Patience wasn’t his thing alright? Plus, in his opinion, Gem should’ve had all her stuff ready if she was the one waking him up for a run.
The back alley was dirty, as all streets on the Mid-Level were, pipes along the walls, connecting to who knows what. Most were essentials, like crappy heat and dirty water, electrical wires precariously hanging from post to post. Joel listened to the murmur of the bustling streets echoing from the front. It was still early morning so his rabbit-like implants resting on his head didn’t catch much noise, but the city seemed to never sleep and he knew it would get much louder as the day went on.
“Alright, I’m ready now!” Gem called out, Joel turning to face her, as she closed the door and jogged over to meet him, boots splatting on a puddle of some stray dirty liquid.
“What’cha forget?” He questioned, brow raised, while he started to stretch his arms, getting his body ready to go.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Gem smirked, shrugging her shoulders and walking towards a grimy ladder from some other apartments’ fire escape. “Maybe if you beat me to the Outpost I’ll tell..!”
“Hey, what?!” Joel cried out, Gem already bolting up the creaking ladder as she declared the race. He didn’t really want to know what she had that badly, but he wasn’t about to lose a race to his sister, hence why he immediately began scrambling up after her.
By the time he pulled himself up onto the rooftop of the apartment, he could see Gem already making her way to the next roof, balancing on an old wooden plank. It was their regular route, a forged pathway the two always followed when going on runs or just sneaking out, though these runs were technically sneaking out, so Joel knew how familiar and quick Gem would follow it.
“Gosh dammit!” He breathed a curse, boots clanging on the tops of the metal sheeted roofs, Gem’s laughter in the background, “You so cheated Gem, stop blumming laughing!”
“Did not! You’re just mad that I happen to be faster than you!” She giggled, swinging down onto a lower-leveled roof.
The two continued on like this, a smile slowly creeping on Joel’s face as the duo got closer and closer to their destination. Despite his competitive nature, the lightheartedness of racing with Gem, a past time they usually had, eased his mood.
By the time the two of them had made it to the outskirts of the Outpost, they were both red-cheeked and breathless, cold morning air puffing around them with each panting exhale.
“Totally beat you..” Joel huffed, a grin on his face. Gem grinned back and gave a small laugh, face reflecting his own expression.
“Yeah, you wish.!”
Bdubs was just on the horizon, sporting his ratty thread-barren red scarf like cape, like always, and waving his hand widely above him. “Hey guys! I’m over here!” His voice bounced off the scattered filth and trash piles as he yelled out to the duo.
“Yeah yeah, we see you, no need to yell jeez..!” Joel called back, waving Bdubs off, a polite wave coming from Gem. The two made their way over to the older boy, though no one would be able to tell at a glance, as he seemed to be the same height as the duo, if not a tad shorter.
“Find any goods yet?” Gem asked, already scanning the piles of junk for any knick-knacks she thought she could spruce up and use or sell.
Bdubs shrugged, opening one of his small bags he sported, showing the two, “Nothing much right now,” he closed the bag and fidgety with the end of his cape, “It’s uh, come to my attention this isn’t the best of places to loot..anymore.”
Joel rolled his eyes, seeing Gem stifle a giggle to not further embarrass a quickly becoming red-faced Bdubs, “Well yeah no duh, we’ve said this like a million times man..” he scoffed, stating what he deemed was the obvious.
“Oh jeez, rub it in why dontcha..!” Bdubs huffed, no longer fidgeting with his cape and crossing his arms with an overdramatic pout.
Before Joel could happily oblige, Gem stood and placed herself inbetween the two, “Ladies ladies, calm down.” She clicked her tongue and looked back out at the scraps. “Joel’s right though, this place is a bust and the hours spent digging for something decent aren’t gonna be worth it.”
“Yeah alright..” Bdubs mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking dejected.
At the sight of him, Joel felt a little bad. He knew the Outpost would clearly be a waste, but he also knew that Bdubs just wanted to finally plan a route. After all, when the three of them would meet, it was normally Gem who decided where to go. Joel thought maybe Bdubs was embarrassed that someone younger than him clearly had a better idea one what they were doing…or maybe Bdubs was just wanting to be a showoff. That wouldn’t surprise Joel that much either.
“We could head to a market? Hassle some chumps and resell..” Gem’s voice snapped Joel out of his spiral, a smirk on her face at her own suggestion.
“Fine, but as long as it’s not central market..” Bdubs agrees, though he averts his eyes as both Joel and Gem eye him with suspicion. Central market was the busiest area, easy to get lost with plenty of traffic and shops. Not to mention Bdubs literally lived there..
“Why not..?”
“I’m uh..technically grounded and if Cleo catches me I’m gonna be in deep water..” Bdub confesses, crooked, awkward smile on his face.
Both Joel and Gem make eye contact with each other before nodding their heads in quick agreement. They couldn’t mess with Cleo, their scolding was unmatched, and if Bdubs was caught, they both knew they’d be in just as much trouble as him.
Despite Cleo’s general terrifying presence, Joel couldn’t help but think the elder was cool. He and his siblings had only met her about 3 years ago now, apparently when she moved into her shop and apartment, Scar and Bdubs tried to steal from her and got caught. They practically adopted the two afterwards, though if you were to ask for Joel’s opinion, he thinks they act more like an older sibling to the two rather than some kind of mom. It’s not like he has much of an idea of what an idle mom should be.
“We can head down west then, should get going soon though,” Gem chimed in, dusting her hands on her forever dirty overalls, “streets are going to get busy soon, if they aren’t already.”
The boys agreed, knowing that come noon, the streets would be flooded with moving, busy bodies. It was great for easy pickpockets, though Joel knew Bdubs’ sleight of hand was horrendous…he knew he was no better, though that’s something he’d never admit to anyone out loud. But crowded streets were crowded streets, which meant if they didn’t want to wait in line for hours to get their easy pickings that would likely not get much, if anything at all.
As they began to make their way out of the Outpost, the sound of the dirt beneath their feet, alongside the chatter of the trio’s conversation, blended soon enough with the loud buzz of the constantly crowded level.
—————————————————————————————
By the time Gem and Joel had begun their trek back home, Bdubs departing to head back to his place, where he’d inevitably be getting a talking to from Cleo, it was dark out. At least in the natural fume-filled sky. Streets were still busy, bright lights glowing from shop signs to dingy street lights.
Joel was thankful that at least the back alleys that lead them home were somewhat quieter and at the very least darker. It was nights like this, which were most nights to begin with, that made Joel wish they had never moved here in the first place. He liked their old place, yeah, it was certainly dingier and more or less a shack, but at least it was quiet and didn’t drive his rabbit-implants to be constantly buzzing in his brain..
If only Grian hadn’t treated the two of them like they were babies and made all the decisions for them.
Speaking of his brother, if he actually held his word this time, he should be back in their house. Probably making something to eat for himself, or sleeping, or preparing to yell at the two for sneaking out again..
Joel doubts he’s even there to begin with.
He reached for the doorknob of their backdoor, twisting it was a jerk and pushing his shoulder against it, expecting to have to push it open like always. Instead, he finds himself nearly falling flat on his face as the door swings open without much effort.
Gem lets out a snort, covering her mouth with her hand to stop her giggles from escaping, Joel twists his head to her with a snap, face flushing red. He had half a mind to scold her for not closing the door properly, but as Gems’ giggles soon seized Joel hesitated, the tired look on her face and the yawn she let out stopping him.
Throughout the day, Gem had been the one who did most of the talking, most of the swindling. By the end of the expedition, Joel felt like he and Bdubs were there to just tag along instead of help..
Instead of telling her off, Joel just rolled his eyes at his sister and closed the door behind them, dusting his dirty hands on his pants. He thought about rinsing them off, but as he glanced towards the forever dripping faucet he decided otherwise. If he turned it on again then the dripping would just increase in its speed and he really didn’t want to hear that all night.
“Is Grian home?” Gem asks suddenly. Joel, having been lost in his own thoughts and staring at the dirty faucet, looked up at her. She had walked inside more, standing in their living room.
“Is he?” Joel felt puzzled, coming to stand next to her left. He didn’t think their older brother was home; if he was Grian was probably upstairs and would’ve heard the two coming in, he was always a light sleeper, then come down to start his routinely scolding. But he hadn’t.
“The windows open..”
What?
Alarm bells rang through Joel’s head as his eyes shot to the very much open window. Unless it’s summer, the window is never supposed to be open, a rule made by Grian when they moved here earlier this year. It had quickly grown cold as the winter months came, and with their crappy heating inside an open window was asking to freeze to death in the night.
So why was it open?
Joel glanced towards his twin, expecting to see the same puzzlement on her face, brows furrowed funny-like when she was actually confused. Instead, a bead of sweat forms on his brow as he sees his sister’s face adorned with bulging eyes full of fear looking past his shoulder.
A creaky echo of a footstep meeting old, rotting wood floors was heard behind Joel.
He didn’t want to turn in all honesty, having seen his sister’s expression, but he had to. So he whipped his head around, eyes locking in on what or who was in their house because it clearly wasn’t their older brother.
An unfamiliar man stood at the bottom of their apartments’ steps, a cigarette between his lips, with a cruel, nasty smile on his face. The stranger looked sleazy, grime covered with cold, cruel eyes that were very much locked onto the two kids in their own house.
Joel felt frozen, feet stuck in place with shaky hands hovering in front of his sister, eyes risking to dart past the stranger when he caught the sight of movement just past the guy, on the stairs. There was another guy.
There were strangers in their house..
“Welcome home kiddos!” The man with the cigarette yelled out, far louder than he needed to be. His voice deep and rough, scratchy.
Thumps echoed above them, sounds of more movement coming from the top of the stairs. So that’s why he yelled so loudly, there’s more than just the two of them upstairs..
“Glad ya’ll could finally join us..” The man spoke again, brows furrowing as the cocky smile he had adorned on his grizzly face turned sharper, turned predatory.
A hand gripped his own, quivering. Joel risked looking away from the man to glance at his sister beside him, her fear mirroring his own. He squeezed hers in reassurance. They were fast, if they could get out the backdoor they could get out of this surely. These guys ain’t got nothing on them.
“We’re here to talk to ya about your brother.”
Or maybe they did.