Work Text:
The sound of the bedroom door closing is gentle, but it’s enough to wake Eddie up from the half awake state his internal clock had already dragged him into.
It takes him a few seconds to orient himself and remember where exactly he is. As soon as he hears Buck snore, it comes back to him, and he blinks his eyes open. Buck is facing him in bed, their noses just inches apart. One of his hands is tucked against his own chest, the other is outstretched toward Eddie, fingers grazing his shirt.
Buck isn’t shivering, and he looks more at peace than he’s been for…well, for weeks. Eddie takes a few moments and just watches him, leaving his arm where it’s casually slung over Buck’s waist.
It seemed inevitable that they would end up here, sharing Buck’s bed. At first Eddie had hovered, helping Buck take his meds and drink water, flitting around his bed to grab him what he needed to make him comfortable for the night. Then at some point he started settling in the armchair, then one night he dragged it closer and fell asleep holding Buck’s hand, and now…
Last night, Eddie had been the one to convince Buck to go to bed. He had been keeping a close eye on him across the table and noticed his eyelids looking heavy and his body leaning into Maddie’s side while a few of them played a game of Phase 10. Buck didn’t protest, wishing everyone a goodnight and knocking elbows with Eddie as they brushed their teeth side by side in the bathroom. When he settled under the comforter, Eddie moved to take the armchair again, but Buck reached out and grabbed his wrist.
“Wait,” Buck said. When Eddie looked back to meet his eye, Buck’s expression wavered, Eddie could see it. So he smiled encouragingly until Buck said, “Can you…in case I get cold…”
Eddie could’ve found a clean hoodie for Buck. He could’ve grabbed one or all of the extra blankets in the closet. But Buck was making room under the covers, so Eddie didn’t hesitate to get in with him, moving in close, arms wrapping around Buck and hands rubbing his back until his tremors subsided.
He hadn’t meant to fall asleep so quickly. He meant to make sure Buck fell asleep first, or maybe slip out and go back to the chair, but he was helpless to resist the pull of sleep and the comfort of holding Buck close. It was the best night he had all week, and not just because he had mostly been on the floor other nights.
He considers going back to sleep now, but decides against it, curious to find out who had gone in Buck’s bedroom looking for them, so he quietly sneaks out of the bed instead. Buck mumbles something when he moves his arm away but then goes right back to snoring.
May is sitting up on the couch that she had claimed last night, yawning, and Harry is still asleep on the floor. The coffee pot is nearly full and he helps himself, pouring May a mug as well when she approaches.
“How is he?” she whispers.
“He’s good. Still sleeping,” Eddie says, then notices Maddie and her own mug at the table on the back patio. “I don’t want him to wake up alone, would you…?”
“Of course,” May smiles, taking her mug to his room.
Maddie gives Eddie a tired smile when he steps out into the cool morning air. “Sorry,” she says once he takes a seat. “I hope I didn’t wake you. I was just checking on you two.”
“He was cold,” Eddie says, and hates how his words sound defensive. He clears his throat. “I think that was the only way either of us were going to get some sleep.”
“Well, I’m glad you did,” she says, unfazed by his tone.
Eddie nods, managing to sound softer when he says, “Yeah. Did you?”
“Yeah. I’m used to my kids waking me up early, though, so.” She gestures at the early morning sky as if to say ‘so here I am.’
They sit in companionable silence as Eddie checks his phone, responds to a text from Christopher, catches up on some updates in the group chat.
There’s some kind of schedule for them to stay with Buck, to make sure he always has a couple people at the house, but Eddie hasn’t been keeping up with it because he has barely left Buck’s house since he came in to go through his cabinets a week ago anyway. No one really talks about it. People come and go, food and groceries are brought over, and Eddie is always here.
In a way, they’re taking care of Eddie, too, by finding a way for him to be over all the time. He’ll make sure Chimney knows how much he appreciates the flexible work schedule, and he owes Hen and Karen big time for always picking up Christopher from school and bringing him to Buck’s or to their own house every single day.
From what he can tell, Harry and May are leaving sometime this morning, then it’ll just be Eddie and Maddie until Karen comes over with the kids after school. Eddie doesn’t spend a ton of time with Maddie. They’re always in large groups together, and honestly, as he sits here he can’t remember the last one-on-one conversation they had.
“How are you doing?” Eddie asks her, suddenly ashamed he hasn’t privately checked in on her since this all began.
She considers the question for a few moments. “Good, I think.”
His disbelief must show, because she smiles. “I mean it. This is…a lot. But we’re all taking care of each other here. I can’t imagine doing this on my own.”
Her gaze settles on the trees in Buck’s backyard, clearly lost in her thoughts, probably thinking of all the times when she was taking care of Buck on her own.
“Tell me if this is none of my business, but…have you talked to your parents?” he asks curiously.
She shakes her head. “Right now, he needs his family. This family. Bringing the two of them in will just make things worse.”
Eddie nods, and she surprises him when she asks, “And how are you doing?”
He blinks. “Me?”
“What, so you’re allowed to ask me but I can’t ask you?”
He laughs, staring at his coffee. “It’s not that, I just…I mean, it’s different, for you.”
“And it’s different for you. Sure, I’m his sister, but you’re his…”
Maddie hesitates for only a second, but his gaze snaps up to her, and she breaks off before she can decide how to complete that sentence.
“Best friend,” he finishes. It sounds insufficient even to his own ears.
Maddie smiles kindly, and it looks like she believes his answer, accepts it, even. But she’s smart, she probably has him figured out already, and really, if he’s going to open up to anyone about this…
“Am I that obvious?” he groans, running his hands over his face and hiding behind them.
She giggles, and if nothing else, he’s glad that he can do that for her, that he can make someone that Buck loves so deeply laugh in times like these.
“I don’t know about ‘obvious’,” she says carefully. “I just happen to notice things, especially when they concern my brother, and you…”
She trails off again at the look that he gives her, and she concedes.
“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious,” she admits.
Eddie sighs, but gives her a begrudging grin. “Thanks for the honesty,” he says.
“But I’m also the one who noticed when we first showed up here that your laundry is already mixed in with his and his guest room basically belongs to Christopher,” she adds. “So maybe it was easier for me to notice how close you two really are because I was looking for it.”
Eddie laughs, but then his eyes start to burn as he looks back at his coffee. “And yet I didn’t notice what was going on.”
“Eddie,” she says, voice painfully gentle.
“Fuck, sorry,” he mutters, angrily wiping at his eyes. It was far from his intention to make her feel like she had to comfort him through this, but something about her reminds him of his sisters, making it difficult to just keep putting on a brave face. “I can’t stop thinking how I knew something was wrong, but I was so desperate for him to be okay that I stopped pushing.”
She reaches out, resting her hand on his. “Don’t do that to yourself. I was there last week, believe me, so I’ll tell you what Chimney told – what he keeps telling – me: what matters is you are here now. You have to believe that that is enough. The alternative isn’t going to help anyone.”
Eddie takes a deep breath. “I’m working on it.”
She gives an understanding smile. “That’s good enough for now. He needs you to take care of yourself too, you know? Put on your own oxygen mask first and all that.”
He nods. “Yeah. I appreciate it, really.”
“So,” she says slyly after a few minutes of drinking their coffee in silence, “you’re going to tell him, right?”
Eddie shakes his head. “Not you too.”
Maddie’s eyebrows fly up. “‘Too’?”
“If you’re hoping for someone to gossip about us with, your only option right now is my teenage son,” he says dryly.
“Oh, I’d love to hear his side. I’m sure he has some pretty good intel.”
“Just don’t make it too obvious, if Buck catches on he’ll want to know what his two favorite people are giggling about,” he says. “But to answer your question, I’m working on it. I’ve only been processing my feelings for the last few weeks.”
He sighs, thinking of coming to terms with just how terrified he had been at the thought of losing Buck and what that really meant, of long hours in the car left alone with his thoughts while Buck slept, of reaching over and resting his fingers on Buck’s wrist to feel his pulse whenever he fell asleep to reassure himself that Buck was here, he was alive, there was nowhere he could go that was too far for Eddie to drag him back from.
“I want to, and I will. But that’s not the priority right now. He is. Getting him better.”
Maddie hums. “And that’s exactly why I give you my blessing.”
Eddie gives her a look. “I wasn’t aware I was working for it.”
“I mean, not that you need it.” She rolls her eyes. “But for the record, you’ve always had my approval,” she says simply. “I see everything you do for him, how much you care about him. There’s no one else I think deserves my brother.”
Eddie ducks his head, smiling at his hands. The ones that held Buck all night.
“I know it’s hard, seeing someone you love like this, and it’s hard for him to let you see him like this, but you and Chris, you give him something that none of us can. You two being here for him all the time, I can tell how much it means to him. So thank you.”
Eddie shrugs. “No thanking necessary, I want to be there for all of it. For all of him. The ugly and sad parts, too.”
“For better or for worse, in sickness and in health?” Maddie asks, blinking at him far too innocently, and he barks out a laugh.
He jumps when the sliding door opens, which makes her laugh at him. He ignores her and turns to see Buck standing there.
“Good morning,” Eddie says, smiling.
“Hey,” Buck croaks. The color has been slowly returning to his face, the light returning to his eyes. He’s not as sweaty and pale as he had been before, but he still looks tired.
Still beautiful.
Eddie watches him blink in the morning light, inhale the fresh air, let out a huge yawn. He stretches his arms, and his shirt and hoodie lift up a bit, revealing some skin—
“I’m going to get a refill,” Maddie says suddenly, making Eddie feel incredibly stupid for somehow forgetting that she was right there in only the last fifteen or so seconds. Buck takes her seat and she grabs her mug, kisses the top of Buck’s head, then gives Eddie a wink before leaving the two of them alone.
“How are you feeling?” Eddie asks. He knows Buck has got to be tired of being asked that, but he doesn’t look annoyed.
“Pretty good, actually,” Buck says. “Best night of sleep I’ve had in ages. Thanks for…you know.”
“Of course,” Eddie says softly.
Buck holds his gaze then looks away. “How’s Chris?”
Eddie’s heart clenches like it usually does at any reminder of how much Buck loves his son. He knows Buck was missing him yesterday when he didn’t come by the house. “He’s good. Karen is still going to bring the kids over for a Mario Kart tournament after school. Hope you’re ready to get your ass kicked, because I doubt they’re going easy on you.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Buck assures him.
“You hungry?” Eddie asks.
Buck grimaces. “Not really. But it’ll probably help.”
Eddie nods, standing. “I’ll grab you something.”
Before he can get very far, Buck says, “Stay with me?”
He looks over his shoulder and meets Buck’s eye. He had felt fine leaving Buck out here, was planning on leaving the door open anyway, but at the look in his eye Eddie nods again.
He just pokes his head in the kitchen, catches May’s eye where she and Maddie are drinking their coffee at the counter, and asks, “Toast? Please?”
She gives him a salute and Eddie closes the door and takes a seat next to Buck again.
“You okay?” he prompts.
Buck winces. “It’s stupid.” His hands are fidgeting, and before he can talk himself out of it, Eddie reaches a hand out to cover one of Buck’s.
Buck’s hands still, but the tremors that come and go are still there. Buck looks up and meets Eddie’s eyes, surprised.
“Sorry,” Eddie says, starting to pull away, but Buck just adjusts his hand so they’re properly holding hands.
“Don’t be,” Buck says.
“What’s stupid?” Eddie asks, stroking Buck’s hand with his thumb.
“Hmm?” Buck asks, distracted.
“You said– I asked if you were okay, and you said it’s stupid.”
“Oh. Yeah. I’ve just missed you.”
Eddie stares at him, then grins. “I haven’t gone anywhere.”
“I told you it was stupid,” Buck groans.
“It’s not! Just, unexpected?”
“Stop laughing at me,” Buck pouts. “I mean, I don’t know. This place has been busy, and I love it, I really do, but this is nice. The two of us.”
Eddie is still trying to figure out what to say, not sure if he should deflect with a joke, or tell Buck that he’s missed him too, or say something else really sincere to make Buck smile, when the door opens and Harry announces, “Breakfast is served!”
Eddie startles again – he swears, he’s usually harder to scare than this, this is all Buck’s fault for continually distracting him – and accidentally lets go of Buck’s hand. May elbows her brother in the side and he gives her an affronted look, but she ignores it, instead setting down a glass of water in front of Buck while Harry puts down the plate stacked with several pieces of toast and grabs one for himself.
“Can we grab anything else?” May asks, glancing between the two of them.
Buck insists that she and Harry sit down with them, so they do, May snagging a piece of toast as well. Buck talks to them more than he eats, but by the time he pushes the plate away, he has managed to eat more than half of a slice and drink some water, which is good enough for Eddie right now.
Yesterday, he had shown May his med kit, walking her through what he was doing while taking Buck’s vitals. She was more or less familiar with most of the tools, but she was excited to get the chance to use them and Buck was happy to let her use him as a patient while she talked to the two of them about the nursing school programs she has already looked into. Today, when Eddie mentions taking his vitals, May volunteers to bring his med kit over, then once it’s delivered, her and Harry slip back inside, leaving the two of them alone.
Eddie is almost suspicious that Maddie said something to them, but then again, May is really smart, too. He wonders when she figured him out.
As he goes through the routine, Buck is quiet. It worries him a little bit, because Buck hasn’t been as quiet the last day or two, but when he glances up, Buck is just studying his face with a look so tender that it brings heat to Eddie’s cheeks.
Eddie clears his throat. “Looking good. Your heart rate is a bit elevated right now, though.”
“Think that’s just because of my medic,” Buck drawls.
Eddie ducks his head, fiddling with the stethoscope. “Flirting, Buckley? You really are getting back to yourself.”
When he looks back up, Buck smiles at him tiredly. “I’m getting there.”
As Eddie puts everything away he feels Buck’s eyes on him again, but when he glances at him, his expression is serious.
“I’m sorry, you know,” Buck says in response to Eddie’s frown. “For putting you through this. For—“
“Hey,” Eddie interrupts gently. “We don’t have to do this right now. I mean, we’ll definitely talk about it at some point, but…I’m not going anywhere, you know that, right? We have time.”
Buck relaxes a bit at that. There’s still some seriousness, some tension in his eyes, but they soften the longer they hold eye contact.
“Yeah, okay,” Buck finally agrees. “We have time.”
This time, he reaches for Eddie’s hand. And neither of them plan on letting go anytime soon.