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Ilya Rozanov was not expecting Svetlana Vetrova to be sitting on his front steps.
It had only been four days since he had ‘come out’ to Troy and Wyatt. They’d had back to back games the past three days and had just won a close afternoon game against Nashville. Ilya had been looking forward to going home, snuggling with Anya, and waiting for Shane to call him after practice and dinner with the Pikes.
He is not expecting his childhood best friend to be at his house. In Ottawa.
He and Sveta had…drifted since he’d moved. Ilya hadn’t been as diligent as he should have been about responding or talking to her, as he probably should have. Self Sabotage he hears Galina say in his head.
It’s just. Sveta knew him better than anyone. And Sveta knew about Jane. And that Jane was a man. She was fantastic, and amazing, and hadn’t pushed that last year in Boston. But Ilya knew that she’d lose her patients eventually and start asking questions. Questions Ilya didn’t want to lie about, but that Shane hadn’t been ready for him to answer. Maybe Ilya should have asked, but he’d been too afraid the answer would be no.
Sveta also would have seen right through him. She would have quickly picked up on how he kept his distance from his teammates. How he was lonely, and wasn’t adjusting. She would have called him out on not talking to Shane about it and how he was making it worse for himself, and Ilya hadn’t been ready to confront it all.
So he’d distanced himself. He’d limited their calls and texts. He’d made excuses and then beat himself up over them.
So it was surprising for many reasons to find Sveta at his house.
“Finally” she says to him in Russian. “Ilyusha, are you going to let me in, or am I going to have to find a hotel?”
Ilya blinks at her for a moment, before moving to let her in. Before he can get to the door she pulls him into a hug that he returns swiftly.
“I’m happy to see you unharmed.” She whispers into his shoulder, and suddenly this unexpected visit makes a little more sense.
She’d been his first call, once he got a new phone. Mostly because he’d seen Shane that morning and had called Yuna and David from Shane’s phone, but still.
She’d berated him for not calling sooner. She’d known he was ok, but was furious it had taken him so long to respond to her. Once he’d explained that his phone was broken and he’d just gotten a new one, she’d calmed down.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, Ilyusha.” She’d told him over the phone. Sveta was not a particularly emotional person, but Ilya could hear the fear still in her voice.
“It is good to see you too, Sveta.” He says, holding onto her until Sveta lets go. It’s nice to speak casual Russian with someone. Speaking with Galina is nice, but it isn’t often casual. Shane is learning, but it’ll still be a while before he can hold a whole conversation.
Ilya moves around Sveta to unlock the front door, and is immediately greeted by Anya. He lavishes her in attention, until she notices the newcomer. Sveta, of course, has not met Anya yet. She drops down to one knee, though, and immediately starts loving on her.
“Hello, little one! It’s nice to meet you! What’s your name?” She says.
“Anya” Ilya tells her, watching his best friend greet his dog. “She keeps me company when I get lonely,” he states. Sveta looks up at him sharply for a moment, before Anya draws her attention back.
Ilya takes the moment to pull out his phone and send a quick text to Shane.
Lily: Sveta showed up for an unexpected visit.
He hesitates for a moment. He knows they agreed to start telling people about their relationship, but they hadn’t discussed past telling Troy, Wyatt, and JJ.
But Ilya wants to tell Sveta, knows she’s probably guessed most of it at this point. He thinks about Galina, telling him he needs to express his own wants, needs, and desires.
He thinks about the discussion he and Shane had after the fight. About Shane telling Ilya he needed to ask directly sometimes, that Shane struggled to pick up on subtext, but that didn’t mean he loved Ilya any less. That sometimes he needed to be told or asked things directly.
Lily: I want to tell her about us.
Ilya knows Shane should be at dinner with the Pikes by now. Hopefully he will answer soon. He doesn’t know how long he can hold Sveta off.
“Once you are done spoiling my dog” Ilya calls to Sveta as he moves towards the kitchen, “I will pour you some vodka, and start dinner.”
Sveta waves a hand in acknowledgement, and Ilya starts to make a simple pasta dish for dinner. He hadn’t been expecting guests, so Sveta can’t be too mad.
After a minute, both girls join him in the kitchen, and he moves to let Anya outside, so she can run around the backyard for a bit.
“Anya is new.” Sveta comments, and asks so many questions without asking a single one. God, Ilya has missed her.
“I have been lonely, at times, and a friend suggested a pet. Anya is the best girl, and she has a doggie hotel to stay at when I am on away games.” Ilya grabs the vodka out of the freezer, and checks his phone. Still nothing from Shane.
Sveta raises an eyebrow at him as he grabs two glasses.
“My therapist also said it was a good idea.” There, hopefully that will sate some of Sveta’s curiosity for now.
“Therapist.” She says as she takes her glass.
“Yes, I-” and even though he’s told a few people now, it’s still hard to say. “-I am like Mama, I think. I have depression, or that’s what Galina says. She’s Russian, which is nice. I do not have to try and translate.”
Sveta, takes a sip of her glass before she rounds Ilya’s island and pulls him into another hug.
“I am proud of you, Ilyusha and I know Irina would be too.”
Ilya blinks back the tears that spring to his eyes, and squeezes Sveta tightly for a moment. It’s as they're separating that his phone buzzes on the counter. He reaches for it, and Sveta gives him a knowing look.
“Jane?”
Ilya glances at his phone.
Jane: Of course, Ilya! Just let me know how it goes. Call if you need me.
Ilya feels giddy, and as he reads the message another one comes through.
Jane: I’m proud of you for asking. Ya Tebya Lyublu
God, Ilya is so in love it might kill him. ‘What a way to go though.’ He thinks to himself.
Sveta is still standing in front of him, waiting for a response.
“Yeah, Shane said I could share.”
Ilya watches in real time as Sveta registers the slightly different cadence of the name. Jane and Shane sound very similar in russian, but Sveta had always been so perceptive…
“Shane!?” She says, eyes widening. “As in Shane Hollander?” and Ilya knows that he’s just confirmed all of it for Sveta.
He can’t help but puff up a little as he shakes his head yes. He’d bagged Shane fucking Hollander, most attractive man in the MHL. Ilya had claimed him even before Montreal, or the fans.He’d never been able to brag about it though, so excuse him if he wanted to peacock a little to his best friend.
“I knew it!” Sveta exclaims after a moment, smacking Ilya lightly on the chest. “I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it!” Ilya just laughs at her as he reaches for his own Vodka and downs it.
“I mean, I thought maybe, after he got injured and the allstars game. You watched his documentary and always got so jealous when I talked about how attractive he was.” Ilya goes to protest, but Sveta holds up a hand.
“Don’t deny it, Ilyusha. When you told me you were moving to Ottawa and starting a charity, I was almost certain and after I realized he missed that game against Buffalo right after the plane incident I knew.” Ilya knew that Sveta had probably connected some of the dots, but he was still mildly impressed.
“I have one question.” She starts, pouring herself more Vodka. “Ok, no that’s a lie. I have so many questions, but I’ll start with one.”
Ilya waits for the question, as he moves to actually start cooking dinner.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Ilya pauses, but doesn’t turn to look at Sveta. He knows she’s a little hurt he hasn’t told her anything, and that he’ll see it in her eyes if he looks.
“Shane was not ready.” Ilya said as he pulled veggies for a salad. “We had not discussed telling anyone until recently. Pike figured it out, as did Rose Landry” He tries to say Rose’s name in a normal tone. He’s trying not to be jealous of Shane’s ex turned friend.
“But you were not allowed anyone?” She cuts in, angry on his behalf.
“I didn’t ask.” Ilya corrects her gently, turning to face her. Her face is stuck between being offended and sad. “Now, I do not think Shane would have minded, especially if I had explained that you had likely already guessed. But I was afraid the answer would be no, or that he would freak out and I decided not to take that risk.” He puts the emphasis on himself, not wanting Sveta to blame Shane for his decisions.
“He should have realized.” She defends, and she really is an amazing best friend. Ilya has missed her so much.
“Maybe,” Ilya allows, turning back to the veggies he was preparing to chop. “But Shane can be…focused. He does not always see things unless they are pointed out to him. He struggles to pick up things most people just get, like social cues or subtext. He will also take you at face value.” He glances at Sveta again, and she is listening with rapt attention.
“I told Shane that I was fine. Shane trusts me to tell the truth and I didn’t. To be fair, I was trying to lie to myself half the time.” Ilya throws Sveta a self-deprecating smile, but she does not smile in return. “Shane was also dealing with his own problems.” Ilya says vaguely. It’s not his place to explain the subtle homophobia Shane has been experiencing this year, or the deep internalized homophobia he’s been working through for years. Ilya had his own issues, but his sexuality had never been one of them.
“And now?” She asks, raising an eyebrow at him as he moves to put the pasta into the boiling water.
“Shane and I are both done hiding.” Ilya responds. “We…we had a fight right after Christmas. I had started seeing Galina and she had encouraged me to share my struggles with Shane. I did not handle it in the best way.” Ilya said sheepishly. He had known, even then, that he was asking too much of Shane too quickly. Ilya knew the man he loved did not handle sudden change or surprises well. “I asked if he would go to my teammate Boodram’s party with me. First I implied as a couple, and then I back tracked and said we could go as friends. My Shane does not handle surprises well and he told me no.”
Sveta gives him a sad smile, like she knew that it had hurt Ilya, but also she wasn’t shocked his poor planning had backfired on him.
“It was a breaking point for me. We both said some hurtful things, and that might have also been the moment I told him about Galina.” Ilya admitted sheepishly.
“Ilyusha.” Sveta said, almost disappointed. Ilya knew she wasn’t really.
“I know. I…I kicked him out. I was hurt, and Shane was hurt, and it was…” Ilya felt pressure behind his eyes at the memory. “...it was not good, Sveta. We did not talk for two days.”
Sveta moved to stand next to him in the kitchen and leaned against his side. Ilya was grateful at times like this that Sveta could read his mind.
She nudged him to continue.
“We had a good conversation on the phone where we both apologized.” Ilya told her softly. “But we did not get to see each other until the plane. Pike-” Ilya said Hayden’s name with as much disgust as he could muster these days, which wasn’t alot. “-arranged it all so Shane and I could see each other. We had a good talk in Florida and then about a month later-”Ilya pulled out his mother’s necklace and let Sveta see the new addition. She gasped as she brought a hand up to cover her mouth in surprise.
“I came home from practice to find Shane in the living room. He said many things, but the biggest things were that he loved me and would choose me over hockey and he was done hiding from the world. He said he wanted to love me out loud. We agreed to start coming out to some friends and we are both planning to tell out teams in a few weeks. We are looking at getting married this summer, just something small, and are going to come out.” Ilya knew he probably looked like a love sick fool. He couldn’t help it though. As much as Shane’s ignorance during their fight at Christmas had hurt, his want and drive to immediately course correct was one of the reasons Ilya loved him so much.
Sveta didn’t say anything, just dragged him into a long hug. Ilya simply held her, happy to finally share all of this with his best friend.
Eventually she pulled back, and Ilya turned to drain the cooked pasta before adding sauce. He had just turned to let Anya back inside when Sveta finally spoke.
“Okay.” Sveta says. “I will give him a chance. Now tell me the whole story.”
Ilya tells Sveta the whole thing, starting with meeting Shane for the first time in 2008. He talks about the tension in the hotel gym after the draft as he finishes making their food. Sveta berates him over dinner as he tells her of his shamelessness during the commercial shoot. He tells her of the texts and hookups. She holds his hand as he describes how terrifying Sochi was, how he couldn’t stop thinking about what could happen to either of them if someone somehow clocked them even just talking.
She narrows her eyes as Ilya admits to trying to create distance in Vegas that year, and how he had felt so awful afterwards he couldn’t bring himself to keep any distance. He vaguely describes the Tuna Meltdown and the Rose Landry of it all. He confesses that he and Shane finally admitted to something in Tampa, although neither one of them put a name to it.
He can’t look at her as he describes his phone call confession after his father’s funeral, knows that Sveta understands the danger he’d risked by even admitting over the phone to being in love with a man in Russia. She moves to hold him as he tells her seeing Shane laid out on the ice, unmoving, reminded him too much of Mama. How he hadn’t taken a proper breath until he heard Shane say his name in that hospital room.
He gives her a quick overview of the Cottage and meeting Shane’s parents. They move to sit on the sofa with more Vodka as he tells her about living in Ottawa, about the stolen moments, and the slow creep of depression over the last few years. They are getting close to the present when his phone buzzes.
Jane: Made it home. Jackie says hi. Hayden said “fuck you.”
Jane: Let me know if you want to call tonight, or if you wanna skip since Svetlana is there.
Jane: I don’t mind either way.
Ilya smiles at his phone. He can tell Shane is trying to play it cool, but he’s probably a little worried about Sveta being here and her reaction, especially since Ilya has been radio silent for most of the night. Ilya knows Shane is definitely anxious about this, but god he’s trying so hard.
“Wow, you are a love sick fool.” Sveta comments. “I didn’t think you could look more pathetic answering a text, but I was wrong.” Her tone is light and teasing, and Ilya is so happy he gets to share this with her.
“How would you feel about meeting my pretty fiancee over Facetime?” Ilya asks her out loud as he also asks Shane over text.
Sveta lights up at the idea, and scooches closer to Ilya on the couch as Shane replies with a simple yes.
Ilya clicks on the icon on his phone, giddy and nervous for his Shane and Sveta to meet. Shane answers quickly.
“Hi.” he says softly. Ilya can tell he’s sitting at his dining room table. He looks a little worn, likely from a grueling practice followed by the hurricane that is the Pike children excited to see their Uncle Shane. Ilya can see the tension in his eyes, but he still smiles when Ilya can’t keep his smile from consuming his face.
“Hello, moy pomidor.” Ilya responds. His grin somehow goes even wider as red stains Shane’s cheeks and Sveta snorts next to him.
“Hello Jane, it is nice to finally meet the face behind the name that has made Ilyusha blush.” Sveta greets Shane, and Ilya suddenly thinks this might be a very bad idea.
“Really?” Shane asks, his eyes lighting up. “Because he loves to tell me that Russians do not blush. Oh, and nice to meet you too. Ilya has told me about you.”
Sveta grins at Ilya and reaches for the phone. Ilya thinks about fighting her off, but he knows that this is probably a losing battle.
“Shane Hollander.” Sveta says once she has the phone in her hand, her voice suddenly serious. Ilya tenses, and he sees Shane sit up straighter. “Ilya is my best friend, and he does not have many people to look out for him, so I will be the one to tell you this. Ilya is very special to me, and if you hurt him intentionally I will make you regret it. I understand why this has been so secretive, but the time for secrets is in the past. I think you both deserve better than that, but Ilya definitely does. Understood?”
Ilya wants to dive for the phone and beg Shane to ignore Sveta. He should have expected this, should have known Sveta would have something to say to Shane about everything that has happened. He feels frozen, but glances at the phone screen to see Shane nodding very seriously.
“I understand, Svetlana. I never want to hurt Ilya, but if I do I’m happy to know he has other people in his corner.”
There’s a moment of silence where Ilya kinda wants to die, but then Sveta grins at the phone again.
“Great! You can call me Sveta.” She says, then leans away from Ilya. “Now, I will tell you embarrassing stories of Ilyusha if you will tell me how pathetic he’s been for you.”
“Hey!” Ilya yells. “I did not agree to this! And I am not pathetic!”
Sveta gives him a look before turning back to the phone. “Did you know I caught him watching the documentary on your cottage multiple times? He would sit on the couch and sigh longingly whenever the section on your yoga came on. He claimed it put him to sleep, but he would have it on at all times of the day.”
Ilya reaches for the phone then. “Ok, great you met. I will call you before bed moy Lybimmy!”
Sveta stands and dances out of reach. “No, my new friend Shane and I are getting to know each other.” Ilya wants to be mad, but he can hear Shane laughing through the phone.
“I did not know that.” Shane says, still laughing. “I knew he had seen it, but I didn’t realize he watched it so much. Although, speaking of pathetic…”
Ilya can’t see Shane now that Sveta has moved out of his reach, but he can hear the smirk in his voice. He groans and faceplants into the couch, dreading whatever Shane is about to say.
“Did he mention how he spent two years begging to fuck me?”
Sveta laughs loudly and Ilya is sure Shane is red as a tomato, but he launches into the story about the snow storm and then how Ilya had to spend two years waiting for Shane. He groans again and hides his face in his hands.
He hopes Sveta doesn’t notice the grin he can’t keep off his face as he listens to the two most important people in his life make fun of him. God, he really is pathetic isn’t he? Ilya decides he doesn’t mind if it means he gets to have both Sveta and Shane in his life.