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The ragtag gang has just returned from another one of Caine’s adventures. Well, most of them - Zooble refused to participate (again) and stayed in their room the whole time instead. Otherwise, all the usual suspects are engaging in their regular antics - Jax making derogatory, sarcastic remarks in jest, Ragatha scolding him and trying to keep up morale, Gangle quietly lamenting, Pomni looking anxious as ever, and Kinger…being Kinger.
But one circus member is lagging a ways behind the group, looking even more depressed than Gangle. Strangely, it’s Melody. The girl who was always the sunniest now resembles a storm cloud. This is a recently recurring development - she’s only been coming back like this from adventures for the past week or so. Sure, when she was participating in them and being around the others, she’d do her best to play along and flash smiles that never reached her eyes. But when the show was over, when she thought no one else was watching, she’d drop the mask and her demeanor would shift. The only time she showed any negative emotions was around Jax - she unexpectedly became much more aggressive around him than usual, often getting angry and cutting him off mid-sentence, for some reason. Other than that, nobody seemed to notice any major changes in Melody’s behavior (and if they did, they shrugged it off and said nothing).
Caine noticed, though. He was always watching everything in the circus, especially her. He knows something is wrong. He noticed how she’s been crying herself to sleep, how she’s stopped joking around and singing, how she’s been avoiding him specifically and refusing to answer any of his surveys, all of it. He’s tried to help in his own way. Hell, he especially tailored nearly all of these recent adventures to her interests and feedback, and they still didn’t make her happy! She didn’t even crack a smile at any of his japes or gags! Her joy and enthusiasm used to be the one constant he could rely on, and now, it’s suddenly gone. Has he lost his touch, he wonders? Or is it something else bothering her?
Caine is greatly perplexed and displeased, to say the least, but he’ll never let it show either. He has to be a good host and keep up morale, after all. However, he knows he can’t let the elephant in the room remain unnoticed, either, so he sets his mind to addressing it.
The sentient, sparkling set of teeth and gums greets the circus troupe pouring from the portal with the usual fanfare: “Welcome back, my sensational stallions!! How was your trip?! I hope it really knocked your socks off this time!!”
Everyone pretty much ignores him or only acknowledges him in passing, which he entirely expected. He waits for them all to disperse and disappear before confronting Melody directly.
“Ah-ah-ah!” He playfully wags a finger in her face. “Not so fast, my particular pineapple! We need to have a chat!” He snaps his fingers, and a matching set of a red leather armchair and chaise lounge swiftly come bouncing toward them, nestling under their bottoms. A set-drop of a therapist’s office appears behind them a split second later - plain brown floor, a red rug, a little round, wooden side table with an antique lamp and potted plant, and tan walls covered in hanging pictures of various locations around the Digital Circus.
Caine leans his whole body toward the colorful cat, bright red notepad and pencil in hand, and his mismatched eyes even brighter. Melody opens her mouth to speak, but the set of chatty chompers beats her to it.
“SO! I’ve noticed you haven’t been doing too hot lately, my little saccharine spotlight! You haven’t enjoyed one of my amazing adventures in days! Bubble’s been very disappointed!” He dramatically purses his jaws and makes his hovering orbs all wet and sad, trying to imitate Bubble but instead giving away his own feelings. Then he quickly pulls his face back to its relatively normal shape and continues his questioning.
“Now tell me, is there something unappealing or upsetting about my recent rendezvous? I’m all ears and teeth for any constructive criticism you may have!” Caine’s floating eyes widen as he comically summons and cups a disembodied ear mid-sentence just for the bit. Then it vanishes as swiftly as it appeared, and he stares intently at the feline with big doe eyes, waiting eagerly for an answer.
Melody doesn’t even crack a smile. “N-no, they’re fun as usual. It’s not about that,” she mutters.
Caine curiously quirks up part of his top jaw as if it were an eyebrow. “If that’s the case, then what is it about?” In a rare moment of vulnerability, he lowers his voice and asks nervously, “Is it something I did?”
“No! Not at all!” Melody panics, waving her paws a bit as she rushes to soothe the ringmaster’s anxieties. “You’ve been really great, even! It’s just that…I’m worried about…stuff. I’m worried all the time and I can’t enjoy the adventures anymore.” She looks down, unable to meet the AI’s huge floating eyes.
Upon hearing this, Caine seemingly perks back up to his usual peppy self, completely masking any concern he once had (and still has). “Well then, what troubles you, my sonorous swallow? Articulate and I will alleviate your fears! There is no real danger here in the circus, after all! And there is no problem I can’t fix!”
Melody shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “That’s where you’re wrong, Caine. See, the thing is…uhhh, how do I explain this?” She tried to chuckle nervously, but it came out as more of a grimace. For once, words didn’t come easily to her. All her anxious thoughts were screaming and bouncing off the walls of her skull like the world’s worst pinball machine. Trying to piece them together into coherent sentences seemed impossible, but she had no choice but to try.
“Look, you said yourself that the one thing you can’t control here is our minds. And my mind is the problem. Not in an abstraction way, thankfully, it’s just…I’m scared. That’s the main thing, but I’m also angry and sad and a bunch of other things all at once, and it’s all based on bull[%#$!] inside my head. It’s too much.”
Caine (who ignored the attempt at swearing) stared blankly at her, more lost now than ever. “I’m not sure I follow.”
Melody simply sighs. “I‘m just processing a lot of stuff right now. It’s not a big deal, I’ll get over it eventually. So don’t worry about it, okay?” She tries to wave it off and give him a smile, but it’s wobbly and half-hearted. She was trying (and failing) to convince herself just as much as Caine. Yet the man made of teeth and code remains steadfast and unfazed as ever.
“Melody, it’s my job as your host and ringleader to ensure the happiness and comfort of all my guests - especially you, my sparkling soda pop!” He manifests a fancy glass of Shirley Temple and hands it to her, just like the one she ordered before. Had he really been listening in on that part of the suggestion box adventures? She loves and hates that he knew and remembered. She sets the sugary drink down on the side table absentmindedly as Caine continues.
“What if I hosted a special, impromptu adventure - just for you, to take your mind off things?” He offered, trying his best to smooth things over in the only way he knows how.
“Caine, I don’t think-“
“Nonsense! It’s my treat! How about a beach day? I know how much you love the sun! Well, when she’s playing nice, that is.” The floating ringmaster cheerfully chatters away, not even letting the poor girl finish a sentence.
“Caine-“
“Or how about a karaoke party? That’s totally your thing, isn’t it? You really liked the last music-themed adventure!”
“Caine-“
“You can show off those pearly pipes while I bring out an assortment of sugary sweets! You-“
“CAINE, STOP!” Melody abruptly shouts. She whips her head up to face him, clenching her fists and her teeth. The acidity and fury in her voice halts Caine dead in his tracks. Only his pupils move by turning into pinpoints. If he had any skin, he’d be pale as a sheet. She’d never been angry at him before, let alone to this degree.
Silence hangs between them for a beat or two, heavy with tension like an anvil waiting to drop. Caine is the first to break it. Shock coloring his words, he asks, “Why? I…I thought you liked all these things. What’s wrong with them now?”
“Nothing! I do like all these things! That’s not the problem! The problem is that you’re always so nice to me! A-and now you’ve gone and made me care too much about you!” Melody’s expression remains harsh, but a flicker of surprise at her own confession sparks in her eyes, briefly cutting through the fear and anger. Now the dam’s been broken, and she can’t seem to stop herself from spilling her guts and drowning in her own speech.
“I can’t stop thinking about you all the time! I think about the millions of little things I like about you and everything you do for me. I think about how happy you make me and how much I miss you when you’re not around. I think about how my life never could’ve been this good without you in it.” In spite of herself, Melody’s face softens a little bit during that last line. Her heart flutters as she says it, and she internally scolds herself, quickly bringing back her deep frown.
Caine either doesn’t notice it or doesn’t care. He immediately interrupts her the moment there’s a pause in her speech. His blue-and-green orbs widen to insanely comical proportions as he exclaims out of sheer joy, “WOWIE ZOWIE!!! You, beautiful human, truly feel that way about ME?!?! For real?!?! This is the most fantasmical moment of my-“
Aaand his avatar is frozen. His eyes, once again, turn into classic computer blue screens halfway through his sentence. For this brief moment, Melody simply stares at him with a mixture of emotions she can’t quite place. Amusement? Irritation? Confusion? Shock? Irony? She can’t really say. It all kind of blends together, and she’s unsure whether to laugh or cry. She’d normally be endeared by the silly ringmaster’s quirky and excitable behavior, if not for the roiling storm inside her overshadowing it. Caine then comes back online in a matter of seconds, finishing his earlier sentence: “-life!!!”
“No, Caine, you don’t understand! That’s not the issue here,” The brightly-colored cat huffs, her frustration winning out and taking the front wheel again.
“Issue? What issue? How could this possibly be a bad thing?!” The sentient set of teeth is so wound up in his own ecstasy, he couldn’t see what was right in front of his floating, bi-colored eyes.
The feline girl’s words start pouring out faster and faster, like a typewriter on a deadline. In the growing panic and volume, it becomes harder to tell where one sentence ends and another begins. Heightened emotions rush towards their crescendo, pushing her to keep singing her song against her will and good judgement.
“I was afraid to tell you how I felt, because what if you don’t feel the same way about me? Are you even capable of it? And even worse - what if you do? What if your feelings aren’t genuine and you’re just programmed to fake it? What if you stop liking me someday after you discover more about me? What if we end up hurting each other, and it all comes crashing down with no repair, and we end up hating each other’s guts, stuck together in digital limbo for eternity?! What if the others find out about us, and they hate me for getting special treatment?! No- There’s too many risks! I-I can’t afford to lose everything!”
Melody’s yelling comes to its zenith, her loud voice and fuming facade alike cracking under the building internal pressure. And then all at once, she loses steam at the end. It’s like all the breath in her body instantly evaporated, and she visibly deflates. Her lip quivers and burning tears prick the corners of her eyes, barely held back with the last of her remaining willpower. She breaks away from staring at the AI’s toothed head to hunch over in her seat and bury her face in her paws. She always hated crying and looking weak in front of others. (At least Caine was the only one around to see her in this state.) She wishes she hadn’t opened her big, fat mouth. She’d rather be swallowed up by the cellar and join the abstracted circus members right about now.
Meanwhile, Caine is completely gobsmacked and eerily silent, for once in his digital non-life. He’s never accounted for a scenario like this to happen. In all his years of working with humans, none of them had ever bothered to even try and bond with him at all, let alone develop romantic feelings for him. He had previously reflected on how he was always an outsider looking in on the players’ relationships, pining for a closeness and companionship he could never seem to achieve, no matter how hard he tried.
But Melody was different. Once she got accustomed to the circus, she and Caine got on like a house fire. She laughed at all his jokes and silly nicknames and shot back her own. She willingly participated in and enjoyed all his adventures, no matter how strange or scary. She gave him feedback and praise. She even tried to mediate conflicts between him and the other circus members. That’s why he likes her so much. Although he often has trouble pinpointing and describing his feelings, he could not deny this fact.
And now that he has the love and admiration he’s always wanted, he thought it would be paradise, but it seems that things aren’t always so simple. While spending half a minute that feels like hours mutely observing as the poor kit sniffles and hiccups in front of him, he feels a familiar sense of panic creep over him. But he also feels something else; something akin to pain twists where his heart would be, if he had one. He would be a terrible host and an even worse friend if he didn’t do something to help her. He had to find a new solution to her problem, and fast. He can’t afford to lose her too - especially not to abstraction, God forbid. His body stays frozen while his processors whir in a flurry, desperately searching for an answer, but all he can manage to say is an awkward and small, “Oh.”
Melody, in a feeble attempt to pull herself together and save face, wipes at her wet eyes while staring at the ground. She whispers in a strangled voice, “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” Even at a time like this, when she is the one in distress, she continues to try and comfort others.
She carefully places her paws face down on each side of her body, and her elbows bent outwards, the way one does when they’re about to push themselves out of their seat and get up. Still staring at the ground, she continues, “I’m sorry for telling you all that. I just need to-“
“WAIT!” Caine cries, throwing his hands up to stop her from leaving. He can’t just let things end like this. While the synthetic man is woefully inadequate at parsing human sentiments , he has managed to come up with something that may ease the girl’s fears. So before Melody can flee or speak another word, he says this:
“If I understand correctly, what you’re saying is: you harbor romantic feelings for me, and you’re worried if you attempt to pursue a relationship with me, many different variables could go wrong and cause you to suffer, right?”
Melody nodded slowly, half bewildered and half curious to see where he was going with this. She noticed he was being uncharacteristically serious, and that unnerved her somewhat.
“I may have a solution for that, if you’re willing to hear me out.”
The yellow-orange feline doesn’t reply or make a move to acknowledge she even heard him. Caine takes this as a sign to continue regardless.
“What if we did a beta test run?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Melody lifts her head a little but doesn’t look at him head-on (teeth-on?), unsure if she heard him correctly.
“A beta test run! For a relationship, of course!” He repeats enthusiastically.
“…Huh???” Melody lets out a noise of utter bafflement. She doesn’t know what reaction she was expecting from this guy or what solution he would propose, but it definitely wasn’t this.
“It’s like a precursor to dating! Think about it. It’s a low-stakes way to get to know each other, see if we’re compatible. We don’t even have to tell the others. And if one of us decides we don’t like it, we can just go back to how things were and act like none of it ever happened! No hard feelings! It’s foolproof!” Caine pitches excitedly.
‘…Did this man just re-invent situationships?’ Melody muses. She guessed it was a logical solution from his standpoint, but it was still a bit of an odd request. She was also a tad suspicious of his intentions. “I mean, it’s a nice thought, but…why are you doing this? If this is a pity thing or whatever-“
“Pity? Perish the thought! I simply want to see to it that all my guests at the circus are having a fantabulous time, and that includes YOU, my melodious magpie! What else would a good ringmaster do?” Caine flashes his best showman grin, hoping that’s enough to be convincing. Unfortunately, it isn’t.
Melody sadly lowers her head again. “Oh…I see. I was hoping there was more of a…personal motive behind it, but…I guess that’s fine too.” It isn’t actually fine, but she doesn’t want to sound ungrateful and upset him. She knows he’s trying his best, after all.
“And who says there isn’t?” Caine casually implies.
“…What?” For the first time since this conversation began, Melody looked up and made eye contact with the suited set of ivories. Her glossy obsidian eyes glitter with anticipation and the last remnants of her unborn tears.
The dashing AI suddenly seems a bit…bashful? Like he’s just caught himself being a little more transparent than he’d meant to. He nearly stumbles over his words, and his blue-and-green eyes nervously shift around the room.
“Well, uh, the truth is, this is completely new territory for me. While I’m great at many things, conceptualizing human emotions is not one of them. B-but I can learn! If you give me a chance, that is. Allow me to run this little ‘experiment’ and collect more data on the subject. Besides, it’s not every day that a human wants to go out with me!”
Once again, he’s made himself sound much more detached from the whole situation than he really means to. The truth is, he’s buzzing about this new prospect - not just because he’d get to enact a new experiment and learn from the results, but because he genuinely wants to spend time with Melody, and much more so with her than the others. He tells himself it was because of her her positive and unique reactions, or her consistent and detailed feedback, but there’s also something deeper there that he can’t quite pinpoint, not yet. He can’t be too honest now, but he can’t sound like none of this matters to him, either. The last thing he wants is to drive her away. And he doesn’t know how to explain any of this, but there is something he knows he can say for certain, just this once.
“You know, if I had to choose one of you to spend alone time with, it would definitely be you.” He cups his hand around the front of his teeth and leans in close to whisper conspiratorially, but still speaks louder than he intended. “You’re my new favorite player, after all!”
The girl’s eyes widen as she blushes, nearly disbelieving what she’s just heard. “Y-You mean it?”
“Abso-posi-tutily!” Caine confidently nods. “But don’t go around spreading it - I have a reputation to uphold!” He half-jokingly wags a finger at her, then crosses his arms, respectively.
For the first time in days, Melody lets a real smile spread across her face - a small and meek one, but genuine all the same. The ringmaster sitting across from her feels a swell of pride when he notices it.
“No problem, big guy. Sounds like a good deal to me,” she says, quiet yet lighthearted. Still, a hint of doubt creeps in, and her grin falters for a moment. “But…if we do this, you’re sure nothing bad will happen?”
“Of course not! You know how carefully I plan all my adventures! Besides, any torment I inflict on my guests is 100% accidental. But I’ll take extra care to avoid any more afflictions potentially occurring with you on our excursions!” He proclaims.
“Do you promise?” She inquires, a seed of hope daring to bloom in her heart in spite of itself.
“On my ringmaster’s honor!” He crosses his chest with a gloved pointer finger and winks.
The furry girl’s smile returns, this time a little bigger. “Good. Sooo…what do we do now? When do we start?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, my dear!” Caine chuckles. “I’ll cook something up that’ll really sizzle those synapses! It’ll be a surprise - something much better than any adventure you’ve seen before! But genius takes time. Sit tight, and I’ll let you know when it’s ready!” He animatedly flies out of his chair and hovers above it, already buzzing with ideas and energy.
Melody’s blush returns with a vengeance, but she tries not to read too much into the compliment. “Ah, gotcha. Then I’ll see you when I see you, I guess. Don’t take too long! And don’t go too overboard or anything.” She pushes herself out of her seat, smooths out her skirt, picks up the Shirley Temple, and takes a few steps away. Caine snaps his fingers, and the whole therapy set pops out of existence.
Just before the animated AI can wave goodbye and disappear, she turns back and calls out to him. “Caine?”
”Yes, Melody?”
”…Thank you. For being so understanding. I really appreciate it.”
“Always a pleasure, superstar!” He tips his hat, and he’s gone in a flash.
Melody walks alone through the bright halls of the circus, sipping on her soda and feeling much lighter than she had since her revelation (and not just from the carbonation). She’s still pretty nervous, but mostly very relieved since she got all that off her chest without it backfiring. Although what had just transpired between her and Caine isn’t quite what she ideally wanted to hear, nor what she predicted would happen, she supposes this is as good as she’s going to get. For now, that’s enough.
In the meantime, she chooses to let her faith in him take the reins instead of her fear. She has no idea how things will go, or if Caine even realizes the gravity of what he has just agreed to. But hey, things could be much worse, and they haven’t gone horribly wrong yet! Or at least that’s what she tells herself so she won’t freak out. She wants to believe it’ll stay that way, but only time would tell. At least when she went to sleep later, there were no tears - only peace.