Chapter Text
PALADINS GC
Hank: why are pidge and Keith sleeping on the floor
Shears: pidge just got her period
Shears: and keith is unnaturally warm
Hank: but why the floor
Shears: I don’t think anyone knows
Spear: WHAT
Spear: SO SHELL LET KEITH HOLD HER BUT WHEN I GRAZED HER ARM WALKING PAST HER SHE FYCKING JUDO FLIPED ME
Pigeon: you were breathing too loud
Spear: HIW WJAT
Pigeon: the real question is where you got the audacity to touch me
Spear: I BARELY GRAZED YOU
Pigeon: 😒
Hank: help i canr breath
Shears: 😐🙂↔️
Pigeon: u bitc
Spear: WAIT TIS WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR-
Keef: jus woke
Keef: lance tripped over us
Keef: pidge is chasing him with my knife
Shears: im omw 😔
Hank: STOP THE WAT LANCE SCREAMS
Hank: CORRAN JUS WALKED IN
Keef: rip lance
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CASTLE GC
Princess: may I ask as to why pidge is trying to stab Lance
Keef: so human girls get this thing every month which causes them to bleed, it’s tied in to how we reproduce and shit
Keef: but it hurts like a bitch and pidge specifically has cramps so bad it would hurt less if she got stabbed repeatedly
Princess: I see
Princess: is there not a way to dull the pain for her
Shears: well usually she would take pain meds but we don’t really have anything similar here in the castle
Princess: would the healing pods not help
Keef: she’s tried them but no
Princess: I see so the pain is why she’s trying to kill Lance
Hank: yes
Hank: I’ll make her food so she gets distracted
Uncle: I fear that Lance may have been given a concussion
Hank: I made food
Pigeon: coming
Pigeon: I left Lance by the couch
Uncle: he doesn’t look too well
Keef: he’ll be fine
Keef: give him a good shake
Princess: is that how humans cure their concussions
Shears: no
Shears: never take any medical advice from Keith
Princess: oh? why not
Shears: he once had a migraine for 4 hours straight and thought that was normal
Keef: in my defense Adam also said it was normal
Shears: Adam isn’t a reliable source when it comes to migraines
Princess: who’s Adam?
Keef: Shiros boyfriend
Keef: well technically ex since he thinks Shiros dead
Shears: HE THINKS IM DEAD????
Keef: where in the whole us becoming paladins thing did you think I had the time to tell him we’re alive
Shears: AT SOME POINT
Keef: well no
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PALADINS GC
Spear: IS NO ONE GOING TO HELP ME???
Shears: didn’t coran help
Spear: he just poked me a few times before walking away
Keef: would do the same
Spear: 🖕🖕🖕
Shears: if you’re able to text shouldn’t you have gotten up off the floor
Spear: how dare you suggest I move off of this amazing spot on the floor
Keef: *cough* dramatic *cough*
Spear: HOW AM I THE DRAMATIC ONE
Keef: cause you still won’t admit our bonding moment
Spear: THERE WAS NO BONDING MOMENT
Hank: there is no war in ba sing se
Pigeon: god I wish we could watch avatar up here
Hank: I mean there’s probably a way we can
Keef: but like it’s probably a lot of work to set it up
Pigeon: I’ll do it if we can have a movie night without the princess and coran
Spear: why can’t they join
Pigeon: because unlike you Lance, Allura isn’t my current obsession and I don’t want to spend every minute of every day trying to impress her
Spear: uncalled for
Hank: she has a point
Spear: et tu hunk
Hank: like yeah
Keef: agreed
Spear: ok well no one asked you mr.perfect
Keef: ???
Pigeon: now THAT was uncalled for
Hank: but yeah a movie night with just us would be nice
Keef: 100%
Hank: Walt where did Shiro go
Keef: went to his room to nap
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KEITH AND SHIRO PRIVATE MESSAGES
Shiro: does Adam actually think I’m dead
Keith: probably
Keith: he didn’t at first but now that we’ve both disappeared maybe
Shiro: well shit
Shiro: he’s going to kill Mr when he finds out I’m alive
Keith: oh 100%
Shiro: I know your laughing
Shiro: Don’t do that I may die
Keith: won’t be the first time
Shiro: I-
Shiro: fair
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PALADINS GC
Pigeon: I FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO IT
Hank: AYYYYYY
Hank: MOVIE NIGHT TONIGHT
Shears: only avatar though right?
Pigeon: NO I GOT EVERYTHING
Pigeon: WE CAN WATCH ALMOST ANY MOVIE AND SHOW
Spear: YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAY
Keef: So basically we’re set for life
Pigeon: Hell yeah
Pigeon: well as long as we’re up in space yes
Hank: sooo avatar tonight
Pigeon: no Allura or coran either
Pigeon: only humans allowed for this