Work Text:
No matter how many times they did it, there was always something about seeing Vash like this that made Nick feel strangely on edge.
Which was an odd thing to say about being intimate with someone you swore a lifetime of fealty to in more ways than one. It was supposed to…well he didn’t really know how it was supposed to feel like. Chuck it to his limited experience sure, or his overall immaturity.
Whatever.
He only knew how it did feel for him and it was a lot.
It always was. This wasn’t new. The feeling of his skin stretched thin and hot, the molten lava in his gut, the shivers that ran down his spine at every gasp and moan his ears caught, though not knowing who they belonged to.
The sharp and sudden sting of pleasure when Vash ground his hips on top of him.
He was a little heavy in his lap, when he forgot to be careful and just did what felt good, let his body guide him instead of controlling it.
Strangely enough, instead of grounding, his weight was making him feel weightless, like his bones were empty or full of hot air and he was about to float away.
He knew that was impossible of course.
His hands settled on narrow hips and squeezed. Not gently though, fingertips pressing into skin and pulling, most likely leaving purple imprints in their wake.
Vash moaned delighted at the feeling, his own hands coming to clutch at his. He didn’t stop moving, his hot body pulling at him, clenching and making his teeth grit so hard he felt his jaw spasm.
And then.
It was over.
A sudden burst of more of that sharp pleasure, almost pain, that made him gasp and writhe.
“Nick? Nick? Nicholas?”
The pleasured look on Vash’s face vanished in a matter of seconds when their eyes met, the hazy cloud of postcoital fog dissipating almost immediately.
Wolfwood blinked sluggishly and then felt something slide down his cheek, slow and tingly, until it dripped from his top lip and into his open, panting mouth and he tasted salt.
That wasn’t sweat.
“Fuck.” He wheezed as more tears fell while the look on Vash’s face grew more concerned.
“Are you okay? Did I do something? Are you in pain? Did I hurt you? Am I too heavy?” Vash rambled on as Nick tasted his unexpected tears, hand touching the side of his face and coming back wet.
“Nicholas?” Vash’s voice penetrated his own hazy cloud and he looked into those bright blue eyes as Vash waited for him to say something.
He only managed to shake his head weakly.
“Talk to me please,” Vash pleaded, on the verge of tears himself. Nick felt bad for making him worry like this but nothing coherent came out of his mouth when he opened it, only choked off sobs that wracked his whole body.
Before Vash could panic for real, he summoned whatever strength he could and heaved himself into a sitting position.
Vash slid a little lower and then without any preamble, Wolfwood wrapped his arms around him and buried his face into the crook of Vash’s neck.
This time Vash’s response was automatic and his arms came around him and held him back in a comforting embrace. Tight enough to be secure but loose enough not to be suffocating.
“Shh, it’s okay. I am here. I’ve got you. You’re okay.” Vash cooed in his soothing voice, hands running through Nick’s sweaty hair and settling at his nape. He even applied a little pressure, trying to rock him back and forth as if Wolfwood was a small child.
That almost made him snort but when Vash pressed a kiss to his temple and murmured you’re okay he could only choke on another sob as the dam finally broke.
Vash simply held him though it, rubbed his back and crooned soft nonsense into his hair, nosing over his sweaty temple until finally, finally Nick stopped crying as suddenly as he started.
They eased themselves back onto the bed, Vash perched on his chest.
He cupped his red and puffy face in his hands, thumbs wiping some residue tears from the corner of his eyes.
“Sorry I ruined it,” His voice was rough, face flushing hotly in sudden shame, that he didn’t have the time or mind to feel before but which was catching up with him now.
“Shh. You didn’t ruin anything.” Vash pressed his cool prosthetic to his puffy cheek and Nick leaned into it gratefully with a soft hum.
Long moments later when he stopped shivering and twitching, Vash moved off him, biting his lip over a whimper when Nick’s length slipped out of him. Nick groaned at the feeling and Vash pressed a soft kiss to his brow with a whispered apology and settled next to him.
Moulding the long line of his body next to his, rested his head on a sturdy shoulder and put his flesh hand on Nick’s sternum, feeling his still accelerated heartbeat thump under his skin.
Vash hummed, pressing his nose to Nick’s shoulder while his hand lightly petted his sternum.
“So. Wanna talk about it?” He asked after a longer moment, stilling his hand.
Nick swallowed thickly. He licked his lips offering a shrug.
He tried opting for nonchalance but it didn’t really work when some tears still slid down his face because of the movement and he cringed.
“Nothing to talk about.” He sniffed wetly, his mouth curving into a grimace.
“Hm,” Vash hummed and kissed his shoulder once again.
“But you’re not hurt?”
“No,” Nick answered immediately. Vash still sounded worried and it’s the last thing Wolfwood wanted him to be right now.
“Okay.” His teeth sunk in his bottom lip. “Did it make you think about something unpleasant?”
Nick sighed and shook his head.
“The opposite.”
Next to him, Vash shifted a little, hooking his ankle around one of his.
“Oh. I…uh. Sorry I don’t follow.”
He could feel Vash’s eyes on him, filled with concern.
This time Nicholas was the one to move so he can look Vash properly in the face.
“I love you.”
The words tumbled from his mouth suddenly, and Vash froze next to him.
This is not the first time Nick has said that. It’s not the first time either of them have said that to each other either.
Yet, Vash still looks dumbfounded, as if Nick delivered some fatal news out of the blue.
It is true that they are pretty sparse with those particular words but they do say them. When needed.
So for Vash to act like this is earth shattering information and then to have the audacity to blush like this…it almost makes Nick forget about the whole thing that just transpired between them.
Almost.
“Stop looking so surprised,” Wolfwood grumbles. “It’s annoying.”
Vash sighs.
“Love you too but please don't change the subject. I'm still worried.” Vash pouts, resuming his gentle petting with his flesh hand.
“I’m not changing the subject. You don’t get it. I love you.”
Now he sounds almost desperate and it makes him cringe inwardly even more.
Vash sends him a patient smile, almost patronizing and it makes Nick feel those sparks of irritation under his skin that he gets sometimes when dealing with this stubborn idiot.
Vash cocks his head to the side.
“Well I sure hope so since we’re you know…”
He moves again and flashes his metal hand in front of Nick’s face, the golden band engraved into its ring finger as if he’s never seen it before. He moves his fingers, making them gently click as the gold flashes.
“Would make me really sad if you didn’t,” He says, moving his metal hand away.
Wolfwood sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose and then lets out a sudden laugh.
Vash’s smile grows a little, and Nick can feel how he relaxes in real time. He rests his head back on Nick’s shoulder, snuggling close, trying to comfort him with his whole being.
Nick squeezes him briefly, hoping it will convey how much he does appreciate that and clears his throat.
“When you, uh were uh on top of me, I-” He coughs, feeling the embarrassment come back. “It just hit me. It's not the first time I thought that when we-”
He made an awkward pause but Vash didn’t rush him, just nodded, the motion making his messy mop of hair tickle Nick’s chin, while his toes idly rubbed over his calf.
That small touch was so endearing and distracting he almost forgot what he was about to say.
“It’s okay,” Vash says suddenly, almost making Nick jump. “I get it.”
Of course he does.
Wolfwood shrugs awkwardly.
“I started crying like an idiot because you…,” He paused, brows furrowed.
“You felt good and you wanted me to feel good too.”
A small hum of acknowledgment.
“Of course.”
“So I-,” He heaved a resigned sigh. “I don't know. It’s stupid.” He grumbled in irritation, his free hand rubbing at his face.
It was hard to put those feelings into words. He didn’t even know if there were any appropriate words to convey what he was feeling just moments ago.
He didn’t even know if he knew what he was feeling in the first place.
The closest was probably to something otherworldly, mystical even, to not say outright religious.
But he really wasn’t ready for Vash to hear that. Yet. Or maybe even ever.
Not sure he’d like that in the first place.
“Hey.”
A gentle hand cupped his now slightly less puffy cheek and carefully turned his face back to face those skyblue eyes.
The look in them was achingly tender and understanding.
“That's okay. It's okay to cry. Even when we're like this.” Vash let go of his face and again wrapped his arm around Nick’s torso and squeezed.
“As long as I know you’re not hurting.”
Then he bent his head and dropped another kiss to his shoulder.
“I won’t judge you for it.” his pointy nose rubbed over the skin. When he looked up he had a little grin on his face.
“I'm just surprised because I'm usually the crier.”
Wolfwood rolled his eyes.
“Yeah you are you crybaby,” He gruffed out, knocking his head over Vash’s temple. “You’re rubbing off on me.”
Finally, Vash let out a sudden giggle and he snuggled closer.
“That’s so?”
“Mhm,” Nick ran a hand over Vash’s spine, feeling him stretch like a cat in a sunspot.
“Can't say I hate the idea,” He sounded pleased, a slight purr audible at the back of his throat as if he really was a feline.
“Especially if they're good tears.”
“They are,” Nick admitted after a moment, his thumb rubbing over a spot on Vash’s own shoulder where it settled in place.
Then there was only silence, their soft breaths mingling in the quiet of the room. Wolfwood let himself just enjoy the skin on skin contact without any expectations for more for the time being.
But he grew a little restless in the end.
Finally he spoke up.
“Give me 5 and then we can continue?”
Silence was his only answer.
He glanced down to realize with slight surprise that shouldn’t really be one that Vash had fallen asleep, hands curled near his face and his mouth slightly parted like those of a little kid.
Nick snorted, before he leaned over to rub his cheek over messy, blond hair.
“Okay maybe not.”