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1. I’m Not Me If I’d Fall (and Haunt a Shell That Looks like Me) by Just Auras and Vibes (Yukitty_Writes)

   Fandoms: Figure Skating RPF  

   • Not Rated
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   17 May 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Ilia Malinin/Mikhail Shaidorov
   • Ilia Malinin
   • Mikhail Shaidorov
   • Amber Glenn
   • Alysa Liu
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Angst
   • Angst with a Happy Ending
   • Established Relationship
   • Mental Health Issues
   • Panic Attacks
   • Depression
   • Emotionally Repressed
   • Crying
   • Mental Breakdown
   • ilia is going through it
   • the cursed milano olympic free skate
   • Long-Distance Relationship
   • Perfectionism
   • Self-Esteem Issues
   • Insecurity
   • mikhail is an amazing boyfriend
   • ilia is in the trenches
   • Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics
   • 2026 World Figure Skating Championships
   • questionable eating habits
   • (ilia does not have an eating disorder but mikhail is def worried he might!!)

   Summary

   The Olympics are a career-defining moment for everyone involved. For Milano Cortino, Mikhail feels the pressure of delivering a skate that makes the years of struggle worth it, not just for himself, but for everyone who's supported him.

   For Ilia, Milan is going to be a redemption for being skipped in 2022. It's meant to be his. It has to be. Anything less than a gold would be a letdown, a disappointment to the media and the ISU that has held him up like the shining beacon of the sport. He's got the weight of the world on his shoulders.

   It leaves Mikhail more concerned than ever, as he watches the person he loves threaten to careen into the dirt. While he's soaring high, he has to fight to hold both of their worlds together.

   Series

   • Part 5 of Aura Writes About Ilia
   • Part 1 of Home (Where the Tenderness of your Eyes Yearn)

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   24,829

   Chapters:

   2/2

   Comments:

   46

   Kudos:

   112

   Bookmarks:

   10

   Hits:

   1,286