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He knew something went wrong the moment her voice came on the comms asking him for a shuttle pickup. She sounded worn down, threadbare. It wasn’t the right time to ask. When they came in through the airlock, she went straight for the elevator without a backwards glance. Joker looked at Garrus, who was brushing colony dust off his armour. The turian shook his head.
‘Give her some time. Reunion with Alenko was rough.’
Shit. He hadn’t been expecting that. Damn Alliance poster boy hadn’t left her side from Ilos to the moment the SR1 went up in flames. He’d assumed the only reason they hadn’t seen him was that the people in charge were keeping intel about Shepard’s return close to the chest. He spent the next half hour racking his brain, figuring out how to broach the topic when she finally came around.
‘Hey Commander. That’s uh, pretty crazy the people you can run into out there, huh?’
She flinched. Wrong opening. He wanted to break his own arm off.
‘What did Garrus tell you?’
‘Only that it didn’t go well. I expected Kaidan to follow you back here like a lost puppy. What the hell happened out there?’
She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose so hard her knuckles went white. ‘Kaidan…disagrees with the choices I’ve made. He thinks working with Cerberus is a mistake.’
Joker blinked. ‘Does he know they brought you back to life? And that we’re only working with them to stop the Collectors?’
‘Yeah.’ Her voice broke, and cleared her throat before continuing. 'It wasn’t enough.’
Rage was rising in his chest, threatening to break the surface. He had no idea what to do with it. ‘Shepard…’
‘I should go. Illusive dickhead is going to want a report. I’ll see you later.’
She turned back and left before he could say anything. What was there to say anyway? She was hurting, and he was completely powerless.
‘EDI, let Miranda know I’ll be back soon.’
The atmosphere on Horizon was dusty and stifling. The few people who had escaped the attack were gathered in a courtyard between prefabs, taking stock of the damaged equipment. Joker exited the shuttle and tried his best to walk confidently.
'Kaidan.'
The man in question turned around, throwing him a wry smile that showed little surprise. 'Hey Joker, good to see you.'
'What the fuck?'
Kaidan stilled, his expression quickly shifting from casual friendliness to irritation. 'Excuse me?'
He took a step forward and stared him down. So what if the soldier could break him in half with his pinky? He was past caring. 'She came back from the dead, Alenko. She came back to you. You're really going to throw it all away like that?'
'My relationship with Shepard is none of your business,' Kaidan said, voice like cold steel.
'Bullshit. She's my friend. If she's upset, that's my business.'
Kaidan scoffed. Actually scoffed. 'I thought you'd be glad I’m out of the picture.'
'What the fuck does that mean?' Joker baulked. Did that righteous asshole think he knew anything about him? That he would rejoice at seeing Shepard in pain?
'I think you know.'
He gritted his teeth and forced himself to breathe. 'It's not like that. I just want her to be happy. You made her happy.'
Kaidan let out a humourless laugh. He no longer looked casual, or annoyed, or even cold. He looked exhausted. 'No, Joker, you did. I just happened to be there.'
‘What are you talking about? She’s devastated.’
The other man seemed to falter, to hesitate for just a second. Then, the layer of steel slid back into place. ‘I’m sorry about that. But she’ll be okay.’
Joker turned his back on him and started for the shuttle. ‘I’m done talking to you.’
‘Take care of her, okay?’ Kaidan called behind him. ‘She needs someone watching her six.’
‘Fuck you, Alenko.’
He needed off this planet. Right now.