Chapter Text
The walls of Touya's room were painted indigo, though you wouldn't be able to tell with all the posters plastered over them. Fuyumi’s room next door had stuff on her walls too, but those mainly depicted famous ballerinas, numerous degas ballet paintings, and maybe the occasional destiny’s child poster. And those were tasteful, leaving wall space in between so it wasn't as jarring to look around. Touya’s room was the opposite. His walls were coated in posters of bands he liked, photos he printed from his digital camera, most of which he took with Keigo at concerts they went to or other times they hung out. The main difference between his and Fuyumi’s walls was that her posters were purposefully placed in frames and dusted off regularly, while Touya slapped his randomly on any open spot of the wall with some tape and called it a day. He liked looking around the room and seeing all his favorite things, and his best memories in a plentiful collage he has been creating since he first got his injury and had nothing else to do.
He now stood in this room and felt different than he ever has before. This room didn't feel like his anymore. He knew that divorce meant his parents were going to split up, but he didn't even think about the fact Rei wouldn't be living in this house anymore, not until he saw her with that suitcase in the living room. It all felt so real, so sudden in a way that left him completely lost. He didn't feel like he belonged in his body.
Rei spoke up after allowing them both the time to reflect and gather their thoughts, “I know it’s sudden. And I know it must feel–” her voice tightened up, so she paused and continued after clearing her throat, “I know it probably feels like I'm leaving, but that's not what is happening. It’s just for a few weeks and then-”
“A few weeks?” Touya blurted before he could stop himself, “You can’t be serious. Even the weekend would be like hell. And not just for me, I'm talking about Natsuo and Shoto especially. I just talked to him, he said when he trains with Enji he is being worked past his limits. Imagine how much worse that is going to get if you and Fuyumi aren't here to help.” The words spilled out of Touya’s mouth. He was saying anything he could think of that would make Rei reconsider, but he found there was a lot of truth in his words.
“You are old enough, you can handle Enji while I'm gone, can't you?” Rei murmured, clearly feeling ashamed that she was even saying the words, “I mean, I understand without Fuyumi it will be a lot more difficult, but well…” Rei sighed, “I just…I need these two days to jumpstart everything and then maybe we can work something out.”
“You think I can handle Enji?” Touya seethed, “He hates me mom! I don't have the relationship Fuyumi has with him, I don't stand a chance!” The boy took a step back and paced around the room massaging his temples. Rei stood in front of the closed door like a statue, an exhausted expression painted on her face. Touya realized his mom must’ve had so many difficult conversations today, many of which involved yelling, he was sure. So anger wasn't going to get him anywhere. He needed to calm down and think of some way to convince his mom to take him and his siblings with her to the hotel. He stopped pacing and sat down on his unmade bed, hands resting on his knees.
“Mom, listen.” He started, voice low, “I…I can’t handle Enji. I just can't." He looked up to meet his mom in the eye, “But…I can handle Shoto and Natsuo. So if you're worried about having to deal with them while you’re trying to find a new place, I can take on that responsibility for you.”
Rei looked at her son, curious about what exactly he meant by this. “What is it that you are suggesting I do exactly?” she spoke, softly.
“I’m saying, you could take me, Natsu, and Shoto with you to the hotel. I would stay in a suite with the two of them that’s on the same floor as you.” Touya could see Rei seriously consider the idea for a moment, looking skeptical. “This way, you could still have your privacy, but none of us would have to stay in a house with Enji while he is on edge.”
Rei considered Touya's words for a moment, before fixing him with a serious look.
“You would keep them from bothering me unless it's a medical emergency?” Rei asked. Touya nodded.
“You would provide them with all three meals each day?” Rei raised an eyebrow at him. He nodded again.
“You would keep them entertained?” Rei continued. Touya suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at the onslaught of questions, and nodded again. Rei hesitated before asking a final question.
“Are you sure you feel prepared to comfort your brothers if either one of them gets upset?” Touya almost nodded immediately, but he stopped himself to consider the question. He knew he could comfort Natsu, but Shoto was another story. Their bonding moment over dinner may have decreased that distant feeling he felt towards his youngest brother previously, but that disconnect was still there. If he saw Shoto crying in their hotel room, he really didn't know if he would be able to help.
Then, he remembered the smile Shoto gave him when he asked him if he liked soba. The kid had previously been talking about something that upset him, and Touya was able to talk to him about it– without messing it up somehow– and on top of that, he was able to make him smile just moments after the emotional atmosphere had been so heavy. He hadn’t even seen his youngest brother smile before, and he was able to get a smile out of him after talking to him for the first time. That had to count for something right?
“Yes.” Touya finally concluded, “Yes, I will comfort them if they need it.”
Rei watched her son tenderly for a moment. She knelt down in front of the bed, pushing some white tufts of hair away from his eyes, and smiled at him with a fondness only a mother could have for her son. They sat in the moment for a while, watching each other peacefully, enjoying the quiet.
“I trust you.” She said proudly, a hand on her son's shoulder. She sat up and leaned over to plant a kiss on his forehead. Touya usually complained when his mom showed affection like this, but right now they were alone, and he figured she already knew he secretly liked to be doted on, so he decided to just enjoy the moment.
Rei collected herself before walking towards the door to tell Touya’s brothers what was going to happen.
“Natsuo is in the game room.” Touya called out before his mom could leave. Rei turned back to him and smiled.
“Thank you, Touya.” She replied. There was depth to her words, and with the way she said them, Touya could tell she was thanking him for much more than telling her where she could find Natsuo.
Touya nodded in response, a wry smile pulling at his lips. He waited for Rei to close the door behind her before taking a deep breath and searching for the duffle bag he knew was buried somewhere in his closet.
—
“Welcome to Tokyu Stays, how can I help you today?” the receptionist seated at the front desk of the hotel lobby recited her lines in an uninterested voice. The lobby had a few people in it, moving bags or waiting for rides, but luckily they all seemed to be tourists so they probably wouldn’t be recognised. The receptionist glanced up from her computer screen and her eyes widened, and then she immediately stood up and began bowing profusely. “Terribly sorry Mrs. Todoroki, I wasn’t made aware you had a reservation with us today–”
“I don’t have one.” Rei announced in a tired voice. Not like they exactly needed one; this hotel wasn’t located in a very busy area so they always had some rooms available.
The receptionist paused her frantic typing and gave Rei a skeptical and curious look. “Will Enji be joining you later this evening…?” The woman asked, testing the waters. Oh my god we cannot do this right now. Touya quickly thought of a plan, and decided to take the lead.
He walked up to the desk, in front of his mom, to put his hand down on the counter. “Listen, we need a room. Either you provide that, or we find another hotel. Simple as that.” Touya put on the most intimidating voice that could without causing too much of a scene in the public hotel lobby.
The woman cleared her throat, “Right– sorry.” Her face was painted with a mix of embarrassment and fear. “How many rooms?”
–
Touya dealt with the interaction because he could tell his mother was not in a place to be dealing with nosey people right now. When fans were invasive and tried to pry for personal information upon recognizing them in public, Rei was always very polite. She felt too guilty being harsh with her words. Touya had the opposite approach to things. He never sugarcoated his words, usually telling random reporters who were sticking their nose in his business that they could fuck right off. This earned him a bad reputation with the press, but Touya really didn't care. After seeing the level of brash invasiveness they showed him when he first got his injury, he just stopped caring what those weasels thought of him.
Now, they were unloading their stuff into their room for the weekend. Touya was in charge of making sure Shoto and Natsu got all their stuff out of his car and into their room.
“Did you really have to bring that?” Touya said judgementally, eyeing Natsu, who was lugging their heavy Wii console through the lobby. The display was drawing the attention of a few onlookers in the lobby, but Touya didn't care about that. He was just annoyed that he would probably have to be the one to bring it back down when their stay was over if Natsu didn’t feel like it, and he probably wouldn’t.
“I need to catch up on my gaming! I can't miss a whole weekend, that would set me back even farther!” Natsu protested behind the console he was struggling under the weight of. He seemed dead set on improving his gaming abilities ever since earlier that afternoon when he played Zelda with Shigaraki.
“Okay, nerd.” Touya grumbled, affectionately brushing his hand through the younger boy's short white hair. “Just don't get your hopes up. It might not connect to the hotel TV.”
Natsuo looked like he had seen a ghost, stopping in his tracks; he hadn’t even thought of that. Suddenly, the boy was bolting towards the elevator, eager to find out if his weekend would be full of Zelda practice or utter boredom. Touya chuckled fondly under his breath
After getting all their stuff out of Touya’s car, the boys settled into the room and decided on the sleeping arrangements; Natsu and Touya in the first bed, and Shoto in the second. This originally pissed Touya off because he's the biggest, so he should get his own bed. That was until Shoto said he couldn't sleep if anyone else was in bed with him, which was a pain, but Touya would rather accommodate that than have to deal with a sleepless Shoto. And it’s not like it was anything new to Touya, who is used to sharing beds with his siblings. When Fuyumi used to get upset or have nightmares, she would sneak into his room and sleep next to him in bed. So, it's not like Touya would have trouble sleeping next to Natsuo or anything, it was just annoying.
He decided to unpack his clothes into the hotel drawers. They would only be staying for two days, but Touya just wanted to have a sense of normalcy in this madness. He didn't need to be reminded of where he was and why he was there every time he reached into his duffel bag for a fresh shirt.
As Touya paired up his socks and stuffed them in the bottom drawer, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He knew it was Shoto before turning around this time. Natsu was normal and usually just said “Touya” or something to get his attention, but Shoto insisted on the creepy silent tapping. God what does he want now?
“What?” Touya spat as he whipped around, a bit harsher than intended. The boy in front of him once again didn't flinch or show any kind of reaction to the hostility.
“I just wanted to thank you.” The boy said.
“For what?” Touya asked, his anger replaced with confusion.
“Making sure mom didn't leave us with him.” Shoto explained, voice neutral as ever. “I heard the whole conversation from my room.”
He was eavesdropping? He heard all of that? Jesus. Touya made a mental note to remember that Shoto could apparently hear everything in his room.
Even without the eavesdropping aspect of it, the idea of Shoto thanking him was starting to piss Touya off. The kid shouldn't be thanking him. It's not like he did it for Shoto or anything, it was just because he didn't want to have a terrible weekend.
“You don't have to thank me for that, idiot. I didn't just do it for you yknow.” Touya said, turning his attention becak to the pile of mismatched socks in his duffel.
“Okay.” The boy replied before simply walking away. Weird kid.
When Touya finally finished unpacking, he stood up and saw that his brothers were both completely knocked out. They must've been exhausted. It made sense, all the adrenaline, fear, and confusion from what was going on seemed to completely drain the boys.
Touya knew he should probably go to sleep as well, but he was buzzing with so much energy. He was still coming down from the adrenaline rush of following his mom’s car for nearly two hours to find an obscure hotel with his brothers in the backseat. It was just so much new stuff happening all at once, and although he was drained, he didn't feel that exhaustion mentally.
Touya checked the time. 12:00 a.m. He knew he should sleep, but he felt like he wouldn't be able to wind down if he went to bed right now.
Touya sighed, quietly walking into the small kitchen of the hotel room, hoping to somewhat separate himself from the snoring of his brothers so he could think. He sat down on the cold kitchen floor, leaning his back against the cabinets. He tried collecting his thoughts and thinking about what just happened.
After a few minutes of this, it became clear it wasn’t going to work. His thoughts were much too rapid and incohesive to keep up with, and it felt like his emotions were swallowing him whole. The boy felt his limbs become shaky and uncontrollable within seconds. He tried taking deep breaths, counting to four on the inhale, holding it, and exhaling for eight. He continued to count in his head as he breathed, just like those school counselors always told him. Usually he used it when he was really angry, but it probably also helped with shaking. It made him feel stupid, but it beats whatever this feeling was.
A buzzing in Touya’s pocket startled the boy out of his concentration. He checked his phone.
Shit, Keigo Touya thought, suddenly remembering their conversation earlier that evening.
Keigo was calling to tell him how the game went, like usual. They called often, that was just something that they did, so this normally wouldn't be such a big deal. Touya was startled by his own urge to just let it go to voicemail. It was really ironic that the only person who could effectively calm him down right now was the last person he wanted to talk to. Yes, crying in front of him would be embarrassing, but this was a phone call, and he was going to find out sooner or later. Touya could really use the support right now.
Hesitantly, Touya picked up the phone.
“Hey man!” Keigo’s voice blasted from the phone. Touya jumped, frantically turning down the volume as he peeked over the counter to check that the sound hadn't woken anyone up.
Touya took a deep breath and responded, “Hey.”
Touya heard that signature chuckling from his phone speakers and sighed, preparing himself for the relentless teasing that was bound to follow. “Sorry– did I scare you?” Keigo joked loudly, causing Touya to instinctively shush him as he peered over the kitchen counters for a second time. Even with his phone on the lowest volume possible, Keigo’s voice could have easily woken up Touya’s brothers
Keigo thankfully took the hint, lowering his voice, “What, you sneaking around or something?” The blonde boy asked with an audible grin. Touya had worked up the courage to pick up the phone knowing this topic would be breached. If he truthfully explained where he was, he would have to tell Keigo everything. It made Touya angry with himself that he couldn’t just spit it out, but he refused to burden his friend with the information. Not this soon into the call, he had to wait a bit, at least until Keigo told him how the game went.
Right now, Touya needed to formulate a story that would explain why he needed to be quiet right now, without giving anything away or seeming suspicious. Remembering that he told Keigo about how he was babysitting his siblings tonight, Touya thought of a believable enough story.
“I let Natsu in my room earlier and he fell asleep.” Touya mumbled, hoping it was convincing.
“You let him in your room?!” Keigo was very shocked, and rightfully so. Touya was very particular about who was allowed in his room, and usually Natsuo was not on that list. Recently though, he has matured a bit to the point that if Touya told him not to touch something, he would respect that and leave it alone. Keigo wasn’t coming to his house as much as he used to though so he wouldn’t know that.
“Yeah, he's not as grabby anymore.” Touya responded, hearing his voice sound a bit unsure. “He really wanted to listen to music so I played some for him on my CD player.” he added for good measure. This would make sense because Keigo knew how much Touya loved music and enjoyed sharing that with people. In middle school Him and Keigo would often sit in Touyas room and listen to music on that CD player. Touya felt a pang of nostalgia at the memory.
Keigo held his phone father away from his face when he laughed to keep the volume down. “And you let him just sit in your room to listen to music when he asked? And you didn't wake him up when he fell asleep?” Keigo managed through giggles. Maybe I should’ve picked a less embarrassing lie.
“I tried to wake him up, but Natsu's a heavy sleeper.” Touya grumbled, trying to save it.
“Hes such a heavy sleeper that you're scared a phone call will wake him up?” Keigo jeered. Okay damn got me there. “Awww that's cute sounds like someone's secret softie.”
Touya felt his face heat up. How does he say shit like that so casually? It was dark, but Touya knew his face was redder than ever. Thank God Keigo couldn't see him right now, or he would never hear the end of the teasing.
“Shut up!” Touya’s voice cracked on the words, and his face somehow got even hotter as laughter erupted from his phone speaker. Kill me now.
“Okay, okay. Sorry I’ll stop now” Keigo chirped, “Well I’m sure you're really happy to know how the future pro-baseball player did in his game today…” He boasted.
Touya scoffed at his friend's cockiness, though a genuine smile was blooming on his face. He found some sense of normalcy in Keigo's typical antics, it grounded him. “Well..?”
“We won, as expected.” Keigo continued, “All thanks to me of course.” His haughty voice sounded so stupid over the phone, it made Touya roll his eyes.
Touya always appreciated that Keigo was unafraid to bring up baseball around him. Ever since his injury, most people walked around eggshells when talking to Touya, always dodging the topic of baseball like the plague in fear of setting him off. This made Keigo's frequent game and practice recaps extremely refreshing. Of course, sometimes he did feel burning jealousy hearing Keigo talk about his team and their successes, but he would rather that than being treated like a fragile crybaby. This was something that Keigo seemed to know, which made Touya feel seen. The boy always appreciated it when someone just knew what he needed without asking or making a big deal about it.
Touya decided to indulge himself in a normal conversation. He really needed something to make him feel better right now.
“What did the old man have to say about your second undeniable win of the season?” Touya teased lightly. He loved to think about the face his father made anytime Keigo made an amazing play for the team.
“He congratulated us, but focused on the other teammates as much as possible when doing the game recap. As usual.” Keigo lamented through the speaker, voice still energetic but now stained with a twinge of annoyance as he continued ranting “Like dude, if you're gonna make me shortstop for the team then you’ve already acknowledged that im a good player so why do you still refuse to say it. Like literally why is he still mad about shit that's been over for years.”
Enji did not like Keigo. Ever since the boy began hanging out with Touya in the 3rd grade, the man hated his presence in his son's life. When eight year old Touya arrived at that baseball camp, he was laser focused on carrying on his father’s legacy and becoming the best player there was. It was the only thing he ever thought about, and nothing diverted his focus. Enji also shared this kind of dedication when he was younger, and believed it is what brought him to the top, making him the name he had today, so he highly valued it in Touya. That is why when Keigo began coming around frequently and ‘distracting’ Touya from baseball, Enji decided to hate the kid from that moment on.
“Yeah, he's been a real asshole lately.” Touya said. He wanted Keigo to understand that whatever annoying shit his dad was doing wasn’t because of him or the team. He cursed himself again for making up such a stupid lie in the beginning. This was the perfect time to say something, but how could he tell him the truth now?
Touya couldn't hear any sound from his phone for a minute, before Keigo hesitantly asked, “That what got you acting all weird lately?” Touya realized that this was his chance. Keigo was directly asking what was bothering him. If he told him about the divorce and how he lied in the beginning of the call now then Keigo would probably be a little hurt that Touya felt that he needed to lie, but that being said Keigo was going to find out eventually and Touya needed to tell him sooner rather than later.
“Um…” The words just wouldn’t come out, no matter how much he willed them to. He couldn’t burden his friend with this. He was the star baseball player of the team. Everyone was counting on him to take the team to Koshein, especially with his father as the coach. Keigo had so much on his plate, he simply couldn’t squeeze Touya's stupid family troubles in.
“Yeah.” Touya managed. “It’s just y'know…beginning of the school year and all. With afterschool practices and stuff– I guess he's just stressed or whatever.”
“Makes sense with how we're already preparing for the Koshein and all,” Keigo replied.
The Koshein was the biggest high school baseball tournament in the country. It got even more viewers than professional baseball games, and the teams took it very seriously. A team making it into the Koshein was a huge honor and extremely difficult to pull off. The past few years their team had made it in, but they never won. This year though, with their star player in his senior year, the pressure was on like never before.
“You must be stressing too huh.” Touya realized out loud. When he thought about the Koshein in relation to Keigo it was usually with jealousy, wondering whether he would be there too if he was still able to play. He never really considered the immense pressure his friend must be under before, which caused guilt to pool in his stomach.
Keigo’s laugh sounded crunchy through the phone speaker, “Well obviously, but I'm holdin’ up alright,” His voice softened slightly before adding, “Just wish I was able to see you more.”
Touya’s heart twisted at the confession. That's really what he was thinking about when the game of his life was up ahead of him? Granted there was another year until it really started, but Keigo shouldn’t be sad about missing Touya right now.
Thinking about it, why did Keigo care so much about Touya? It's not like Touya was anywhere near Keigo’s place on the popularity chain. If anything, Touya was dragging him down by still interacting with him. Though, most of the interactions they have are initiated by Keigo, which made the whole concept even more confusing. Touya always thought of Keigo as someone who highly values his public image, so why would he willingly jeopardize that by being seen with a loser?
Touya wasn’t upset about it, he was just confused.
“You still there dude?” Keigo asked hesitantly. Oh shit, he forgot to respond.
“Um yeah– Sorry I'm just…really exhausted.” Touya managed, feigning a yawn.
Keigo started laughing at the fake tiredness, much to Touya’s annoyance. “Alright, sure. Get some rest man, seriously.” Keigo said after the laughing died down. His voice suddenly softened as he added, “And Touya…dont be afraid to call if you need someone to talk to, okay?”
Guilt churned in Touya's stomach at the pure sincerity in his friend's voice. He really should've said something before. Now it would be out of place because of the numerous chances he had been given, so he had to wait until he sorted things out. That's it, Touya just needed some…time. Keigo didn't seem like the type to force people to tell him things they weren't ready to talk about. That being said, Touya has never kept a secret from him before. But this wasn't a secret, he was going to tell Keigo, he just needed time to process it.
“Yeah, thanks.” Touya whispered into his phone speaker, “Goodnight Keigo.”
“Goodnight.” Keigo mock-whispered back, making kissy noises for added effect.
“Oh get over yourself–” Touya started, only to be cut off by loud laughter blaring from his phone. “Yeah, hanging up now.” He said before pressing the end call button while smiling to himself. What an idiot.
His small smile faded as the silence consumed him and he remembered where he was. Sitting on the floor of a hotel kitchen. God, what led him here? Just 28 hours ago he had a normal shitty life, now his shitty life was unpredictable and scary. And worst of all, it was completely out of Touya’s control. He sighed and got up and walked back to the bed before he could start spiraling again.
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