Chapter Text
Kasumi had always been good at watching. It was a skill born of necessity, really.
When your father cries at the dinner table after everyone's gone, or your younger sister charges into fights with boys twice her size... Someone has to notice that the aches need tending to, and that bandages need changing.
So, Kasumi noticed when Akane began acting strange.
It was all too predictable after some time. After all she "dealt" with Akane's rages for the past 17 years, when someone said something cruel, or someone mentioned the engagement, Kuno that, Shampoo this... Those storms would pass like summer rain.
That morning, Akane came down for breakfast wearing her school uniform, same as always. But Kasumi caught the way she pulled at her collar. Something beneath the fabric surely needed to stay hidden.
"Akane, your eggs are getting cold," Kasumi said.
"Right." But, she'd barely eaten half. That was new. Akane was a martial artist. She ate like one, usually. Something's off.
Kasumi was folding laundry in the living room when the front door slid open.
"Welcome home," Kasumi called.
The footsteps paused. Then, "Yeah." Akane returned from school earlier than usual.
That was it. Neither stomping, nor a long winded rants about Kuno's... antics or complaints about Ranma's teasing. Yeah, and familiar creaks followed Akane climbing up the stairs.
Kasumi waited. She heard the bedroom door slide shut. Then the faint footsteps on the floorboards, which should be Akane changing. Then running down the same stairs, the back door downstairs opened and closed. By the time Kasumi reached the window, Akane was already crossing the yard toward the dojo. She'd changed into loose and dark training gi. Bizarre. Akane used to hate that gi, Kasumi thought. She said it made her look like a boy. Kasumi watched from the kitchen window, her hands still in the soapy water, as Akane trained for next two hours non stop. *Woosh* uppercut strike, left side kick, turn right sided kick, repeat. Akane trained until it turned dark out.
She showered and joined everyone for dinner.
Ranma made a joke along the line of "Your daughter is being grumpier than usual." To Mr. Tendo when he asked why dinner was so tense. Akane flinched initially, but didn't punch him, or do much as to react to him at all. She nonchalantly pushed rice around her bowl for a couple of times and excused herself early. "I'm tired." Was her excuse.
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "You? Tired? Did you actually study for once?"
The sound of Akane's footsteps fading upstairs was the only answer she could get.
"Tsk, what's with her today." Nabiki crossed her arms in annoyance.
"Yeah," said Ranma as he poured hot water on top of his head, "She didn't even react to me at all, usually she's like a ticking bomb." He continued with confusion, eyes still fixed on the stairs Akane just ran up, "Do you think I said something mean to her or something?"
"Saotome!" Mr. Tendou grumbled, and slammed his fist on the table, "You better not be mistreating my youngest daughter!"
Kasumi set down her chopsticks. "Now father, there's no need to be so quick to judge." She reassured him, "Ranma-kun, do you remember anything you said that might've offended Akane?"
Ranma turned to face the elder sister and scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm..."
"No, I mean, what I said is pretty standard you know..." He sighed after putting in some thought, "I don't think she'd be exceptionally mad about it" Ranma finished with a shrug and continued gobbling the food in front of him.
"Boy, Akane's you're fiancée! What kind of man lets his fiancée go to sleep mad! I raise you a man among men-"
"Pop! This has nothing-" and so their banter slowly turned into a waterful combat scene, like it always seemed to do.
Something is wrong, Kasumi concluded. She'd need to do her own investigation to understand why her sister was being so strange as of late.
Kasumi laid in bed awake staring at the ceiling longer than usual. The wind played with the tree, causing its leaves and branches to lightly screech at the half-open windows that let moonlight and the nightly summer breeze into the quiet room. What could be burdening her little sister so much? Kasumi turned onto her side and stared out the window. The silent treatment, the flinching and the isolation... She filed all of that away, as her mind slowly guided her into the escapist realm of her dream.
The first rays of dawn diffused through the window of Kasumi's room, she slowly arose, padded to the kitchen, lit the stove, and began preparing breakfast for everyone. The morning routine was really calming for her, she'd grab rice from the bag and put it in the cooker, then fill the tea pot and wait for it to steep, cut the fish and lay it on the grill... She grabbed the soya bottle from underneath and noted to herself to ask Ranma or Akane to get some more of it...
She heard the back door slide open.
Akane? It was her little sister for sure, Ranma and Genma's combo snoring was simply unmistakable. Her father moved heavier, so she'd definitely hear him if he woke up. And Nabiki would never be up this early without a profit incentive, and Kasumi's not seeing any of that at this hour.
Kasumi peeked through the kitchen doorway.
Akane stood in the yard, already dressed in that same gi from yesterday. Given it's dawn, the sun has barely risen, and the dew still clung through the air and onto the grass. He- He? No, it's Akane! Kasumi corrected herself, though something in her chest whispered otherwise, stretched in silence, then began to move.
Akane's precise and controlled movement was beautiful, in a way Kasumi had never noticed before. She watched the passion in every swing Akane gave out, until the tea started steeping, and that's when she got back to her routine. At least she seems happy doing what she loves? Kasumi thought to herself, as she poured the steaming liquide into the teacups.
The strangeness of Akane being oddly passive and silent would continue for days, and Kasumi felt that with each passing day, she's growing farther and farther from knowing what was troubling her younger sister to cause such a dramatic shift in her behaviour. Until.
Three days later, Kasumi found what couldn't be mistaken as anything other than bindings, chest bindings.
She always did the laundry, it was simply one of her roles in the family. Nabiki avoided it, Akane forgot, Ranma, Genma and her father... well. They're them? So, when Kasumi sorted the hamper, she noticed something that was never before in the far bottom of the bundle. It didn't look anything like usual training wrap, or the kind of cloth one would use for bandages. These were strips of sturdy cotton, cut and hand-stitched around the edges to, presumably, prevent fraying. Someone had taken the time to make them with care and intention. Kasumi reached for the fabric and held it in her hands. They were damp with and strongly smelled of sweat from training and prolonged wearing, maybe even from sleeping in them.
All of the sudden, it made sense. The baggier shirts and shorts coupled with the chest binders, there was just no mistake...
Kasumi took the fabric and washed it by hand in cold water. She hung them in the back of the closet, hidden behind her own kimonos, where no one else would see.
But, now, how could Kasumi even bring it up.
As Akane came back home that evening, Kasumi made sure to inform her about her "bandages" at the back of the closet.
Kasumi set two cups of tea on the table and waited patiently for Akane to finish the evening training session. She sat on the porch and pat the space beside her. Akane hesitated, then sat down.
For a moment, they were both content watching the summertime fireflies in silence.
"Akane," Kasumi says finally, "You know you can tell me anything. Don't you?"
A long pause, followed by a quiet, "...Yeah." Akane's hands tremble around her tea cup. "I don't think... I'm ready to, um, talk about this, Kasumi-onee-chan."
"Then, I'd be here whenever you are, okay?" Kasumi faced Akane and smiled, "You are not alone."
"Thank you, onee-chan." It took everything in Akane's power not to break down crying in front of Kasumi, but it had to be done, Akane shall not be so weak as to do such a-
"Hey, no need to cry," Kasumi got closer to hug Akane.
"What are you talking about I-" Akane felt pools of water form around the eyes, and just gave in to Kasumi's warm embrace. Crying, sniffling, sobbing and bawling... It was like a burden really being taken off Akane's shoulders; though nothing has been said, both knew.
"You know then," Akane was able to let out after calming down a bit, "About the- the- you know..." Sniffle.
"The chest binders." Kasumi answered quietly.
"Yeah... I guess," Akane sunk deeper into Kasumi's shoulder, "My whole life," Akane continued, "everyone told me I was a girl, a tomboy they mocked me. And I tried. I really tried. I wore dresses and uniforms and I let my hair grow. I admit I did get attached to it too." Akane's voice shook a little, "I smiled when people said 'what a pretty daughter' or 'young woman' and the like!" With higher inflection, and then the false bravado thinner out, "But it never felt... right."
He pulled out the hug and looked into the horizon. "It felt like wearing shoes that don't fit. Every single day. And everyone keeps telling you no, those are your shoes, they must fit, stop complaining." His voice cracked. "And you start to believe something's wrong with you, that you're weird and perverted and..."
"You know that's not true, Akane." Kasumi cut the vicious thoughts out.
Akane looked through wet disbelieving eyes. "You... you don't think it's weird?"
Kasumi tilts her head. "Do you think you're weird?"
"I don't know," he whispered. "Maybe. I feel... broken and really, alone, I think. Like everyone else got a manual when they're born, and I lost mine or entirely got a wrong guide. Or something like that." He waved his hand around dismissively.
The fireflies blinked on and off in the garden, indifferent to human pain. Kasumi was quiet for a moment observing them.
"May I tell you a story?" she asked.
Akane looked at her, confused.
"When we were small," Kasumi began, "you used to follow me everywhere. Do you remember? I would be hanging the laundry, and there you were, tugging at my sleeve. 'Onee-chan, onee-chan, look at this bug.' 'Onee-chan, onee-chan, can we play this, or play that?'"
Akane reluctantly let out a smile, "I was annoying, I know,"
"No, you were lovely," Kasumi voiced warmly, remembering 'the good ol days' "You never wanted to wear my old clothes. Nabiki would borrow my old clothes, my ribbons, my hair pins, but you?" Kasumi met Akane's eyes for a brief moment, "You were always totally disinterested."
Akane's breath caught.
"I thought you were just a tomboy," Kasumi continued, "And father said you'd grow out of it. That one day you'd want to wear dresses and makeup like other girls." She paused. "But you didn't. Until... Mother passed away, and all of the sudden you started, changing and ... I watched you grow more and more unhappy, and I didn't know why until very recently. I thought I had failed you somehow."
"Onee-chan, you never-"
"Let me finish." Kasumi's voice was still soft, but firm, "You are not weird and you are not broken. And most certainly, you are not alone. You have never been alone. I just... I didn't have the words to tell you that I see you." She turned to face Akane fully, taking both of his hands in hers. "I'm sorry, that... There was this much pressure on you, and I failed to even see it-" Kasumi's eyes started to water as well.
"Onee-chan," Akane's lip trembled. "Don't be sorry, this has been the happiest and freest I've ever felt in a very long while!" He tried to sound cheerful, but the sight of his oldest sister crying, it was all just too much, "And it's thanks to you!" His voice cracked, "I would've been so miserable, if you didn't pull me out of my pit of self-pity and loathing! I'm always thankful to you, you always take care of us."
"You think so?" Kasumi said through the tears.
"I think so? Of course! I know so!" Akane's voice was fierce, "You wake up before everyone else to make all of us breakfast. You do the laundry and you clean the house. You take care of all of us, bandage my cuts after training without me even having to ask. You remember everyone's favorite foods and which tea makes father happier and when Nabiki's exams are. I'm but a disappointment compared to you... I'm a failed person, I can't be a girl and I don't look like a guy, I'm just.-"
Kasumi's hand landed and tightened around Akane's shoulder. "Akane."
"Breathe."
Akane's mouth closed. He hadn't realized he'd been gasping for air.
"You are not a disappointment to anyone. And you are certainly not 'but a' anything." Kasumi said firmly.
"Then what am I?" Akane whispered. "Because I don't... I don't know anymore. I thought I knew. I thought if I just trusted everyone's image of what I should be, than soon enough, I'll just be what they expect me to be-" His voice splintered. "Now I don't even know what name to call myself when I wake up in the morning."
Kasumi pulled him close again, one hand cradling the back of his head, the other pressed against his back. She could feel his heart racing and his breath coming in ragged bursts. So much courage that must've needed to be admitted.
"You are you," she said into his hair. "You are a passionate martial artist who trains until the sun goes down because you love the feeling of your body moving the way it's supposed to."
"You really believe that?" he asked, eyes red and nose running. "That I could... that I could actually be... A guy?"
Kasumi cupped his face "I don't believe it," she mirrored his words, "I know it. The same way I know the sun will rise tomorrow. The same way I know that you are the bravest person I have ever met."
Akane shook his head weakly. "I'm not brave. I've been hiding my whole life. I have been so cowardly, that I didn't talk to any of my family members for a week..."
"Hiding isn't cowardice when the alternative is being hurt." Kasumi stated, "You hid to survive. And now, when you could have kept hiding forever, you chose to let me see you. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for."
Akane stared at her. His lip trembled. His hands shook.
"But what if they reject me? What if father- and- Ranma! We're still-"
"Then they will be wrong." Kasumi paused, "And I don't think they will be. Father loves you. Nabiki is smarter than she lets on. And Ranma..." She smiled slightly. "Ranma turns into a girl when he's splashed with cold water. I think he'll manage."
"You make it sound so simple." Akane let out a shaky breath. "But you know father and Mr. Saotome, they wouldn't... Let this idea of merging the schools together rest."
"It's not simple, it's going to be hard." Kasumi took his hands again. "Let's take it easy for now, alright? It's already so late." Kasumi looked up at the dark sky above them.
The sky was far too big and way too open. Too much like the future.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "It's late."
Kasumi stood, brushing off her clothes. She offered him her hand, and he took it. His fingers were cold against her warm ones.
"Come," she said. "I'll make you some warm milk before bed. It'll help you sleep."
The kitchen was warmer than outside, though the fans were on. Ranma was at the table reading some comic and eating, because of course, wherever there's food there's Ranma, Panda-Genma was snoring in the corner, while Nabiki was on her camera.
"You two okay?" Ranma asked, not looking up from the pages.
"We were just talking," Kasumi said, "Would you like more tea, Ranma-kun?"
"Yeah, sure." Ranma finally looked up. His gaze landed on Akane's red eyes, "You look like crap."
Akane snorted. "Thanks."
"Anytime." Ranma grinned and went back to his comic. "Wait a minute... You're not mad at me?"
"Pfft- As if!" Akane retorted, "you really seem to highly overestimate how often people think about you." He stuck his tongue out.
Ranma's grin widened. "There you are. I was genuinely starting to think you'd been replaced by an alien or some cursed creature straight out of the nooks and crannies of Nerima."
"Maybe I was," Akane said instead, grabbing a rice ball from the plate in front of Ranma. "Maybe the real Akane is being held hostage and I'm a very convincing clone."
Ranma squinted at him. "Nah. No impostor would steal my food like that. How totally un-cute!"
Akane bit into the rice ball in triumph.