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The first thing to enter Tav’s consciousness as she woke up was the warmth.
Comfortable and gentle, the kind that made you want to stay there forever, safe and cosy, still tethered to the last remaining moments of sleep.
The second was the feeling of the tail wrapped around her leg, both foreign and familiar at the same time ; one that did not belong to her but claimed her anyways.
The third was the tiefling attached to said tail, still sleeping next to her ; robes creased from the night and hair deliciously mussed, long chestnut strands falling freely on his handsome face. In the morning light, his freckles were more visible, adorning his nose like stardust in the night sky.
Above her, the sun was shining bright - far from a discreet rise at dawn, they had clearly overslept. Maybe the wine was to blame - or maybe it was the adrenaline from the night before: the joyful party, the crushing relief, and the surreal feeling of peace in an otherwise grim reality.
“Stop moving.”
Slurred words still came out as a command, the grip around her calf tightening briefly.
“I’m not moving,” she said, scooting closer to him.
He sighed and she grinned, delighted by his early annoyance.
“How late is it?”
“Sun’s high already.”
Next to her, Rolan mumbled something she didn’t quite catch and stirred. Tav could’ve sworn he briefly purred, a low rumbling in his chest resonating in the quiet morning air.
Bright flames greeted her as he opened his eyes and sat up, running a hand through his hair, obviously displeased by the state of it - but not vain enough to fix it just yet.
There was a beat of silence during which she followed the trail of his jawline, remembering heated kisses from hours ago.
“I should go back to the Grove”. It was just a whisper, but she heard it nonetheless. “We are leaving today, there can be no delays. I should…”
He glanced at her, his sentence stretching forever in the silence.
I should go.
Yes, he should go. Of course he should go - they should both say goodbye and get back to their lives. Him, with his siblings and the rest of the tiefling refugees, making their way to Baldur’s Gate. Her, with her strange band of companions, finding a cure for the horror in their heads.
Their encounter was nothing more than a lucky roll of dice - two strangers stranded in the wilderness, emotions running high. It could be nothing else.
As Tav was beginning to learn the hard way, everything was temporary.
Her fingers found the hem of his long sleeve, blue linen rough under her fingers as she fiddled with a loose thread.
“If you don’t enjoy my company, you can just say so.”
She saw him open his mouth in protest, but the gleam in her eyes gave away the tease before he could say something terribly sweet and awkward. She was instead relieved to hear the familiar sarcasm roll on his tongue, eyebrows raised in a loose attempt at nonchalance.
“Well, now that you mention it, you are indeed most annoying.”
“Ouch, you wound me.” She sat up too, climbing on his lap with the thin blanket wrapped around her. “Tell me how most annoying I am.”
Oh, she couldn’t stand it. His eyes so wide, two suns burning up in an endless dark, glistening with want and pride and yearning. She hated it, the crease between his eyebrows from his sudden frown, worry and duty clawing back at his mind now that the sleep had fully dissipated.
She resented it, the way he said her name in one breath, pleading for release, asking for understanding. She would not give it to him, resolutely cruel in her punishment - for wanting to leave when she couldn’t fathom parting ways. Not now, not like this, not after the way he got on her nerves since their very first encounter, not after he ignored her and dismissed her and mocked her and riled her up until she snapped and kissed him ferociously the night before, wine on her tongue mixing with a drop of blood as she cut her lip on sharp, equally wanting teeth.
“Tav, I…”
“Ah-ah. Tell me.”
He gave her another sigh, one that made her giddy inside ; her tongue finding the cherished scar on the inside of her mouth.
“Fine. You never listen. You’re demanding, entitled, spoiled, you never shut up and you walk around like you’re better than everyone else. You never mind your own business and wherever I go, you’re there, prancing about like some kind of… gremishka. Happy?”
She smiled like a cat who got the cream, satisfaction overriding her ignorance of what a gremishka was. Hopefully not something terribly ugly and repelling - but it couldn’t be, the way his hands came to sit on her waist, holding her like she was a gift, a beloved possession. A perfect fit, she would’ve said, were she a romantic.
“Yes, actually. But you see, Rolan, I think there is a problem.” She brought her face close to his, noses almost touching. “I think you like it.”
She could have missed his blush if she hadn’t stood so close, triumph stretching her grin even wider.
Might as well twist the knife, right?
“I think you like me.”
“I take back what I said before. You are not merely annoying, you are completely infuriating.”
“Hmm, even better.”
She would never know who closed the distance between their mouths - but it was already so small, it could’ve just been an accident. A sweet kiss, almost chaste, almost sad.
They had slept together, skin against skin before the cold forced them back into cloth layers, but the intimacy of this kiss was overwhelming.
Almost like a goodbye kiss - which it was definitely not.
It made her throat close up, nausea and all ; a heavy feeling settling in her lungs, on her chest, gnawing at her guts. This never happened - she was always fairly content to leave the beds of her partners and go about her day, not really caring whose hearts she left broken in her trail as long as she was onto her next task. Back then, it meant lavish breakfasts and planning the next party, spending an ungodly amount of gold at the tailor to get the latest dress in fashion.
Here, there was no breakfast, no gold, and no silks.
Just her and a beautiful, stubborn tiefling.
The question danced on the tip of her tongue - would you travel with us instead? - but she swallowed it as soon as she thought it. For what? And what about Cal and Lia? She had no idea of what it would take to remove the parasite - not mentioning that she might still transform one day, out of the blue, no matter what the mysterious guardian promised her.
There was no alternative, really, and it only made the fleeting nostalgia sour and bitter at the same time. Tav didn’t like endings, she didn’t like goodbyes and she didn’t like what if hypothetical scenarios - hence the balls until dawn, the feverish fleeting relationships, and the excessive living in the present.
It was so simple - but it wasn’t like that anymore, and no matter how much Rolan indulged her, he wouldn’t let her keep him away from moving on with his life.
Only she wished that she could ignore whatever lay ahead.
Only she wished that she could never move on.
“I can walk you back,” she offered without daring to meet his eyes. Without his silver plastron he looked less regal - almost vulnerable, a few grass blades tangled in his hair that she focused on removing. “You didn’t get to leave the Grove much, after all. I can show you my favourite spots.”
It was so unlike him to actually consider her offer. He should’ve refused straight away. A clean break would have been the easiest thing to do, surely - and the man he once was would have preferred this solution. However, the man he was now has been changed, somehow ; and imagining leaving the clearing behind to throw himself at the hardships of the road, surrounded by the rest of his kin without the comfort of this infuriating hero-wannabe was not something he felt capable of.
Despite his reluctance and his resolution to not admit it, she was right.
He liked her.
His fingers squeezed her waist briefly, gently.
“Lead the way.”
It was all he could say to her while keeping his composure. Watching her get up with the smug smile he’d come to yearn for, brush off her clothes from the dirt and the grass, stretching in the sun like a lazy cat.
In under an hour they would part, maybe to never meet again.
But now they were still here, clumsy in the morning light, lightly stepping on borrowed time.
He slipped his hand in her.
Yes, parting could wait just a little bit more.