Chapter Text

Chapter 1

“Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too.”

—Yogi Berra

All the people that had told Yoona that university would be a fresh start had either A. been lying, or B. did not fully understand that 'social anxiety' wasn't just a phase you grew out of.

Because as it turns out, going from high school to university doesn't just magically give you a whole new, different personality. The cure for social anxiety was unfortunately not as simple as 'hoping it resolved on its own.'

Not that she hadn't attempted to fix it herself, it just never went how she hoped it would. She had tried going to campus events and asking classmates to study together, but every small step forward was soon met with an even greater stumble backwards, always following the same pattern. She'd spend days working up the courage to make the first move, plotting the conversation out in her head until she was sure she'd cover every possibility. The first few days would go well, just enough to give her hope.

But the anxiety would always start to seep in. She'd hesitate before every text, every worst-case scenario going through her mind. Was she being annoying? Was she responding too quickly? Not quickly enough? Was she too excited about hanging out? Not excited enough?

Spiral and spiral and spiral, until daily messages turned into every-other-day messages, then weekly messages, then nothing. Over and over, every time. Sometimes the other person would reach out, try to keep the friendship going. But eventually they all stopped trying. And with each failure, another piece of her confidence chipped away.

If it wasn't for Jinsol, Yoona might go weeks at a time without saying a word to anyone at this point. Her best friend since middle school, the energetic, outgoing chemistry major basically made up the entirety of her social circle nowadays.

A few weeks now into her 2nd year, her last shred of hope was fading. It hadn't worked in middle school, save for befriending Jinsol (which was moreso due to Jinsol's persistence than anything). It hadn't worked in high school. And she was running out of time to make it work in university.

…

"YOOOONIE!" a loud cry echoed through the student union building, the source all-too familiar to Yoona.

"Sol, please, you could at least call me unnie when we're in public."

"Too long, also Yoonie is cuter, also also I haven't called you unnie since we were 14," the rambunctious girl said without taking a breath. "Anyways, come help me with something."

Only when Jinsol reached across the table to take her arm did Yoona notice that she was carrying two baseball gloves. Yoona was pretty sure she'd never seen Jinsol even watch baseball, never mind play it. Part of her wanted to shoo the girl away; she was already mentally drained from the latest self-pity session and, even if she wasn't, she certainly didn't feel like playing catch.

"No more self-pitying, come play catch with me. And don't say you're busy because I know you don't have class for another two hours."

Stupid Jinsol and her stupid mind-reading and attention to detail.

"…fine. Let me clean up my lunch."

…

Yoona wasn't that hard to figure out. She was sweet, caring and funny. She loved buying little trinkets that reminded her of her friends and family, she always drank tea instead of water because it "tasted like fish", and once she started talking about something she liked, it was impossible to get her to stop.

Oh, and the crippling social anxiety.

Jinsol always had a hard time comprehending that part. It just didn't fit with the Yoona she knew, the one that had carved a permanent indent in Jinsol's shoulder with how many times she'd smacked her. How could the girl that would spend 20 minutes giving you a tour of her Minecraft base if you showed even a passing interest also completely shut down if someone asked her how her weekend was?

They'd tried damn near everything at this point - book clubs, karaoke parties, bar nights, even that one misguided attempt at joining a hiking group (Jinsol still felt an ache in her hamstring when she thought about it) but nothing seemed to be able to break Yoona out of her anxiety.

However, despite Yoona's protests, Jinsol wasn't ready to give up. Sure, maybe there was a small part of her that was happy she got to monopolize all of Yoona's free time, but that was a fleeting thought compared to her desire to show everyone what a wonderful person her best friend was. There had to be something that would work, and by god was Jinsol going to keep trying until she found it.

As she'd passed by the sports fields on her way to meet Yoona for their regular Tuesday lunch date, she'd spotted her next experiment pinned to the open signups board: an intramural baseball league.

It was perfect - regular practices and games, low stakes, camraderie, and lots of positions and roles for those that were less athletically-inclined. The poster even advertised it as "a great opportunity to have fun and get active," two things Yoona was sorely lacking.

It was, perhaps, too perfect. Jinsol had immediately rushed into the gym, arriving at the reception desk with such torrid energy that the poor attendant dropped her apple in surprise. After asking about the baseball league, and if there were two spots available on a team, she watched and waited with barely-contained excitement as the employee brought up the team signups on her computer.

"Sorry," the woman had explained, "it looks like all the teams are full already. The league's quite popular and we get a lot of returning teams."

Jinsol's expression must've been particularly heartwrenching as the attendant quickly offered a compromise, waving her hands in surrender.

"Oh, but there's an odd number of teams! If you can recruit a full team by the deadline, we can sign you all up!"

She'd quickly put her name down as team captain, not even entertaining the thought of someone else stealing her spot. As she did, the employee went over the details.

1. There were 10 teams (including Jinsol's) with a minimum 9 players each. If a team showed up with less than 9 total players, it was an automatic forfeit.

2. Games were scheduled for either Saturdays, Sundays or Monday evenings. Teams played 2 games each week against the same opponent.

3. After 9 weeks, the top four teams played a mini-tournament for the championship.

4. Players were responsible for their own shoes and uniforms, but all other equipment was available for rental. Fields were also available to book for practice throughout the week.

5. The deadline for signups was Friday at 4:00pm.

As she left the gym, two rental gloves tucked under her arm, plans were already forming in her head. By the time she'd reached the student union building where Yoona was surely getting impatient, she'd already sent half a dozen texts to potential teammates.

"This," she thought to herself, "this HAS to work."

…

"Sol, baseball? Really?"

"What do you mean 'really'? Yes really! It'll be fun!"

"Do you even like baseball?"

"Irrelevant! Just play catch with me, come on, you don't have to commit to anything right now." She pushed the glove into Yoona's hand as she spoke before dragging her over to an open spot on the field, as far away from others as they could get.

This is how it always went with Jinsol. It always started with "you don't have to say yes" and it always ended "come onnnn Yoona please please please please."

And god, did they need to do this where other people could see? It didn't help that it was unseasonably warm all of a sudden. She was already kind of annoyed, and the construction on the building nearby was unnecessarily loud, and now she was starting to sweat too.

She slipped the glove on her left hand and it felt weird and awkward. Just another item on the list of Things Pissing Yoona Off.

…

Yoona heaved the ball, her form awkward and hitched. It made it about halfway to Jinsol, who had already moved closer twice, before it softly hit the dirt.

"Uggh that's enough, I'm done," she exclaimed as she threw her glove on the ground.

"Wait, Yoona, hold on!" Jinsol ran up, scooping up the glove before grabbing Yoona by the arm.

"What!? It's pointless!"

"No, Yoona, it's-"

Yoona spun around to face her, barely holding back tears of frustration.

"It's what? Just another episode of Yoona fails at everything she tries?" She bit her bottom lip, trying not to have a full meltdown until she could retreat to somewhere private. "Face it Sol, nothing's worked. Nothing is ever going to work. It's not even worth it."

"I'm not even worth it." Yoona's head dropped, unable to hold back the tears any longer.

"Hey," Jinsol's gloved hand softly bopped her head.

"What?" she sniffled out.

"You're left-handed, idiot."

Yoona looked up, eyes red and puffy, fully expecting a stupid smug grin on Jinsol's face. Her soft, caring expression was even worse. If she didn't know her so well, she'd've felt mocked.

"W-what?"

"You're throwing with your right hand. You're left-handed, right?"

"O-oh…yeah…"

Jinsol threw back her head in laughter, wiping away a few amused tears, before reaching over and sliding Yoona's glove onto her right hand. She looked into Yoona's eyes with a gentle smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling ever-so-slightly.

"I even got you a glove for lefties. Come on, let's try again." She picked up the ball and tossed it to Yoona before shuffling back out onto the grass. She raised her glove to her chest, ready to receive the throw.

Yoona looked at the baseball in her left hand. She'd gotten so overwhelmed by everything around her that she hadn't even realized she was using the wrong hand. As odd as it was, this wasn't the first time something like this happened to her. If there was too much going on, her brain would stop working and she'd be completely unable to function. A memory flashed through her mind, a time when the sweater she was wearing was so uncomfortable she briefly forgot how to add and subtract. There was probably an explanation for why this happened, but she always just chocked it up to anxiety.

"Why does Sol always make it seem so simple?" she wondered to herself. "Honestly, it kinda irritates me."

She narrowed her eyes and locked onto Jinsol, with her big dumb eyes and big disarming smile and the cute dimples in her cheeks and-

She blinked, then took a deep breath.

"Fine, I'll show her."

Jinsol knew a lot about Yoona, more than anyone. They'd been attached at the hip for almost half their lives, spending every weekend, every summer break, every holiday together. Yoona's mother often joked about sending a bill home with Jinsol for all the food she would eat at the Seol household, while the Baes would make extra dinners for Yoona and her brother when their parents had to work late. They'd gone on joint family vacations, each had designated pillows at the other's house, and neither had even considered a future where they didn't attend the same university.

But Jinsol didn't know everything.

She didn't know how Yoona and her father would watch baseball together every night when she was young. She knew Yoona's younger brother was on his school's baseball team, but she didn't know he was the best hitter they had. She didn't know that every night, for years, he'd go to the nearby park and practice his swing for hours.

She didn't know that most nights, his older sister was there with him.

She was about to find out.

*THWAP*

The worn leather of the rental glove did little to dull the force of the baseball striking it. Though it definitely stung, Jinsol barely felt it, the pain signals her hand was sending her brain pushed aside by the shock of what she'd just seen. Or rather, what she hadn't seen. One moment the ball was in Yoona's hand, the next it was hitting her glove.

All she could do was stare at Yoona, whose previously-pouty face now seemed almost smug.

"What was that…" she mumbled to herself.

"Sol, throw it back! I thought you wanted to play catch!"

Jinsol looked down at her glove before slowly taking the ball with her right hand and lobbing it back to Yoona. As she caught it, Jinsol's brain finally kicked back into gear.

"Yoona! Wait a second, let me back up!" She had to see something.

Jinsol shuffled backwards until there was a good amount of distance between the two of them. It was approximately the distance she'd seen between the pitcher's mound and homeplate, as best she could remember.

"Okay, do that again," she yelled over at her throwing partner, equal parts excitement and awe building inside her.

Across from her, Yoona began her motion, the one she'd watched the players on TV do over and over.

She faced Jinsol before turning her body 90 degrees to the left, then brought her left hand into her glove. She spun the baseball around until she felt the seams run left-to-right. Her index and middle fingers gripped the top, her thumb wrapped around the bottom for support - a fastball grip, the one her brother taught her.

Her eyes locked onto Jinsol's glove, still at chest level. She lifted her right leg, her glove rising up to her chest as her knee shot up, her leg forming a 90-degree angle with her hips. Then, in one smooth motion, she quickly kicked her leg forward towards the girl awaiting the throw. As she did, she pulled her left arm back and began her delivery.

As her right foot met the ground, she rotated her hips forward. She felt her arm rise up above her shoulders as her whole body began to accelerate, her weight shifting from her back foot to her front. The split-second she felt her elbow turn over, her forearm snapping forward, she slipped her thumb out from under the baseball.

Her arm shot forward and the ball rocketed out of her hand, straight and true, the backspin as it rolled off her fingers keeping it steady as it flew through the air. Yoona's back leg kicked off the ground as her follow-through carried her forward.

Her motions had transformed her into a human slingshot, muscle and ligament and physics working in harmony to turn a small leather orb into a velocitious blur, streaking towards its destination.

The whole routine took less than two seconds. The ball was in the air for less than one.

*THWAP*

Once again, the ball struck the webbing of Jinsol's glove. Once again, Jinsol hadn't moved. And, once again, the girl's mouth fell open as she looked over at Yoona. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined this.

Yoona let out a small huff as she straightened her body out, a satisfied smirk on her lips. "That oughta shut Sol up," she mused to herself.

It did not shut her up.

"YOOOOOONIE," screamed Jinsol as she came blasting across the field. "Where did you learn to do that?!"

"Sol, please! Quiet!" Yoona whispered, looking around. Several people were now looking their direction, though unbeknownst to Yoona, it wasn't Jinsol that had caught their attention.

"But, but, but! Yoona! That was like, a professional! Was that a fastball?? Where'd you learn that??" Jinsol was practically vibrating with excitement as she peppered the blushing girl with questions.

"I, uh…my brother, threw for him…" she mumbled out, too embarrassed to form full sentences. Jinsol grabbed her shoulders and looked her square in the eyes.

"Yoona! You have to sign up for the baseball team! You need to be the pitcher!"

She froze, the pink fading from her face. It was exactly what she had feared would happen when Jinsol had dragged her out of the cafeteria. This is what always happened. Jinsol saw some event, some activity, some club, and inevitably got way too excited and dragged her along. And Yoona would go along with it, trying her best to be 'normal', because she was weak to Jinsol.

And inevitably, her social anxiety would flare up. She'd shut down, or panic, or get overwhelmed, and it was always up to Jinsol to take care of her.

She was sick of holding her back. She deserved to meet new people without having to worry about Yoona the whole time.

"Sol…"

"Yoonie, I can be the catcher and you can be the pitcher! It's perfect!"

"No, Sol. I don't…" she dropped her head, looking down at her feet. Jinsol tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow, a sly smile forming on her face.

"You don't what, Yoonie? Want to 'hold me back'?" She bopped her on the head with her glove again, waiting until Yoona mustered up the strength to look up.

"Well guess what, I'm going to follow you around even if you tell me not to." She placed a reassuring hand on the girl's shoulder, her smile softening. "Thought you would've figured that out by now."

Yoona sniffled before rubbing her eyes. She never could win against Jinsol, no matter how hard she tried.

"….fine. Put my name on the list."

Jinsol's smile took over her whole face, her eyes squeezing tight and her front teeth poking out. Even as they'd grown older and lost their baby fat, Jinsol's dimples never faded. They were the surest sign of whether she was faking her cheeriness, only appearing when her smile was big and genuine, making her cheeks puff out like a little guinea pig.

Maybe Yoona was okay with always losing to her. After all, seeing this face felt like she'd won anyways.

…

"So we need seven more people? By Friday? Sol, that's a lot."

"I know, I know," Jinsol muttered as she finished writing Seol Yoona onto the second line of the signup sheet. "Look, I have a few friends from class that I can probably convince to sign up. We just need to, you know, recruit people!"

Yoona's face went deadpan as she stared at Jinsol.

"Okay, I need to recruit people, got it, sorry," she apologized.

"Sorry Sol, I really wish I could help but-"

Before she could finish her thought, both girls felt a presence shuffle up to their table. They looked over, and before them were a very cute brown-haired girl and a very cool black-haired girl, both staring excitedly at Yoona.

"Excuse me," the taller, black-haired girl politely interrupted, "you're the girl that was throwing a baseball around a few minutes ago, yes?"

Yoona, a little bit enraptured by the pretty girl, could only nod her head.

"Ah, perfect! See?" she nudged the shorter girl. "I told you it was them!"

"Jeez, sorry for doubting you," the brown-haired one responded. Yoona and Jinsol looked at each other in confusion.

"Umm, do you know them?" Jinsol asked her tablemate. Yoona frowned at the dumb question. Why would she know anyone?

"Oh, sorry! We should introduce ourselves," the black-haired girl bowed apologetically. "I'm Kyujin."

"I'm Jiwoo! We're first years," the other girl said proudly and a little too loudly. Before Yoona could process what was happening, Jinsol jumped in.

"Oh, well nice to meet you two. I'm Jinsol, and this is Yoona. We're both second years." The two younger girls gave a small bow before turning back to Yoona.

"We were wondering, are you on the university baseball team?"

Yoona jumped in her seat. "Wh-me? Oh no, no no. I just, um, used to play with my little brother sometimes." She fiddled with her hands in her lap as she looked away, the stares of the two cute girls getting a little overwhelming.

Kyujin leaned over the table, getting even closer, her eyes wide in shock. "No way! That was totally a pro form, I was sure you were on a team!"

"Well~" Jinsol piped up from the other seat. "Funny you should mention that, Kyujin-ah." She propped her head up on hand as she leaned across the table, a glint in her eye.

"We're actually in the intramural baseball league, and we're short a few players. Know anyone who might be interested?" She emphasized the last word with a wink and a smirk. It didn't escape her notice that the girl who called herself Jiwoo blushed a little bit when she did. Kyujin met her smirk with one of her own and Jinsol started to get a feel for the two girls' dynamic.

 "Ohh, are you now? Well, we don't really have much experience with baseball."

"That's okay, it's just a casual league. Besides, neither do I! Only Yoona does," she said as she pointed over at her table mate. "We're just looking to make some friends, mostly."

"Hmm…" the taller of the two paused, leaning back from the table and resting her arm on Jiwoo's shoulder. The shorter girl looked up at her quizzically.

"Okay, we could maybe be interested. Give us the details," she said as she sat down next to Jinsol. Jiwoo scooted next to Yoona, happy to let Kyujin lead the conversation.

…

While Jinsol and Kyujin went over the rules and schedule of games, Yoona sat quietly opposite them, trying not to think about how Jiwoo had been staring at her.

Yoona was bad at not thinking about things.

She looked to her left and, for a moment, got caught up in the girl's massive, dark brown eyes. Jiwoo continued staring at her with a curious expression.

"Umm, hi?"

"Hi? Good opener, Yoona. Real cool."

"Oh! Sorry, I was staring," Jiwoo apologized, still staring.

"Umm, yeah I know. I mean, no, it's okay. It's fine. Sorry," Yoona stammered. "Really normal conversation here. Doing a great job being normal."

"You're really pretty, Yoona-unnie. It's kinda crazy actually."

"What?"

"What?"

"Yeah, we saw you on the field earlier throwing that baseball, and I was like ohh she's really cool!" To emphasize her point, Jiwoo smacked her cheeks with her hands and made an exaggerated surprised face. "And now that I'm up close it's like wow you're actually like so pretty too, you know?"

Yoona stared at the younger girl, who was still squeezing her own face together. The contrast between the sweet words and her ridiculous expression proved too much for even Yoona's social anxiety.

"Pffft ha ha hah!" she burst out laughing. "Sorr-pfft, sorry, that's really nice of you to say, but your face-"

Jiwoo squeezed her cheeks together even harder, pushing her lips out until she looked like a fish. That pushed Yoona over the edge into a full laughing fit, which then cascaded into Jiwoo breaking into laughs as well.

Across the table, Jinsol and Kyujin watched their counterparts in bemusement.

"Is Jiwoo always like this?"

"Yeah pretty much," Kyujin shrugged and turned towards her senior.

"Is Yoona-unnie always li-"

Her voice caught in her throat as soon as she saw Jinsol's expression. The girl was smiling softly, her face relaxed. Her eyes were sparkling, looking only at the girl across from her. When Yoona was unable to suppress a particularly loud laugh, she saw Jinsol's smile grow a little larger, dimples dotting her cheeks.

"Hmm, that's a cute look," she thought to herself.

"Mm, did you say something Kyujin?"

"I said hand me the signup sheet, unnie. Jiwoo?" The girl across from her looked over.

"You wanna sign up?"

She nodded. Kyujin wrote in their names before sliding it back to Jinsol. "Let's exchange numbers too so we can schedule practices."

…

The two younger girls left with a wave, off to their afternoon classes. Yoona looked over at the signup sheet.

1. Bae Jinsol

2. Seol Yoona

3. Jang Kyujin

4. Kim Jiwoo

5.  

6.  

7.  

8.  

9.  

Reserves:

Jinsol caught her eye and smiled. "Pretty good start, hey Yoonie? And you thought you wouldn't be able to recruit anyone."

Yoona looked up at her, a small smile spreading across her face. "It's not bad. Still a ways to go though, Sol. Don't get lazy now."

Jinsol puffed out her chest and put her hands on her hips. "When have I ever let you down, hmm?" she said proudly. Before Yoona could muster a response, Jinsol had already started packing her things.

"Alright, I gotta run to class. Feel free to give people my number if they wanna sign up!"

And as quickly as she had arrived earlier that afternoon, she was gone.

That was Jinsol, as chaotic and destructive as a storm, always moving from one place to the next, following her own path. Yoona was, by comparison, a gentle spring breeze, barely enough to catch a stray leaf. It was no wonder she always got swept up in Jinsol's wake, pulled alongside her with no say in the matter.

She looked over at the glove on the seat next to her.

"When have you ever let me down, Sol?" she mused.

She reached over and grabbed the baseball out of her bag.

"This time it'll be different."

She squeezed it firm, feeling the seams press into her skin.

"This time I'll finally take that step forward."