Chapter Text
His eyes were beautiful. A raging storm crashing on a rocky mountain in the passionate heat of battle, only to give way to a lovely blue sky hanging over a luscious green meadow in moments of respite. They truly were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, even more so than the starry sky under which he had made his promise.
These were not his eyes.
“Those we hate, those we love, those we fear… Jenova would become anyone to fool her prey…!” He said with equal passion and monotone. Gone was the cool, tough-as-nails yet rude persona he put up around strangers. Gone was the kind, friendly yet witty side he showed only to his closest friends. Gone was the awkward, vulnerable yet honest side he showed only to her. This was not her brave SOLDIER, not a friend to her and many, not her innocent little country boy from Nibelheim. This was something sinister, something she hadn’t felt since that awful night 5 years ago.
Seeing that look in his eyes, one that should never be there, one that belonged to the scariest monster she had ever had the displeasure of witnessing, she pleaded for him to stop, for him to return to her.
“Don’t do this!” Her voice broke with fear, both for herself and for him. The only response she got was a quick swipe of his blade directed at her face, one that she luckily dodged on instinct, albeit barely, as a spray of blood left her cheek. The movement lacked the usual grace she displayed in battle, however, leaving her on her backside, nursing her cheek, and the most vulnerable she had been in months, back when the Sector 7 Plate fell. Back then, she had Cloud to hold her in his warm, yet painfully tight grip. He immediately let go, looking her over to make sure he didn’t hurt her, his face lit up red as he apologized over and over in a moment of awkward, dorky adorableness that reminded her of the blond boy next door back home, with eyes so blue they made the sky look drab by comparison.
Looking up, she could see nothing but dull gray overcast shadowing her friends’ beautiful skies of blue.
“Cloud, please…” She whimpered, but it fell on deaf ears as he raised his blade, a blade that had sworn to protect her whenever she was trapped or in trouble, was now hovering over her head in a haunting act of betrayal. And yet, that’s not entirely what it felt like.
Suddenly, the blade faltered, before settling so quickly that for a second she thought she was seeing things, only for the blade to start shaking in Cloud’s white-knuckle grip. Looking back at the mercenary, she saw a struggle within his features. A glint of realization as his eyes twitched, followed by a series of tremors racing up and down his body that left him gasping for air, culminating in him reaching for his head as a splitting headache hit him. He grunted in pain, thrashing about as he wrestled with the whirlwind running through his mind. That’s when he looked at her. Not through her like he had been a moment ago, but actually at her. His eyes were desperate, apologetic, pleading, but most importantly, they were his.
“Tifa? When did you— Where did he…” He trailed off as he started frantically glancing at his surroundings like he had just woken up and didn’t know where he was.
“Tifa, what’s—gah…!” He was cut off by another headache flaring behind his eyes, taking him out of the conversation as quickly as he joined it. Immediately, Tifa jumped into action, gently cupping his face so that he was looking directly into her eyes.
“Cloud, calm down! Look at me! Deep breaths, in and out, with me!” She started inhaling and exhaling, coaxing him to do the same, and after a moment, he slowly joined in. His breathing was shaky and strained, but the fact that he was listening meant he could hear her, which seemed to be an honest-to-goodness miracle at this point. Now, for the hard part.
“Good! You’re doing great. Now, tell me, what are you seeing?”
After a moment of deliberation, he acknowledged her, licking his lips as he stuttered out a reply, only to freeze as his eyes focused on something over her shoulder. She looked back, only to be met with nothing but the preexisting chaos of the reactor. She returns her gaze to him, only to see his eyes now narrowed and his jaw clenched. Whatever he was seeing, it wasn’t good.
“Ngnn… Sephiroth…”
“Sephiroth…?” She asked, incredulously. She gulped before pushing down her fears and gripping his face tighter, trying to return his attention to her.
“You’re saying Sephiroth is here? Why can you see him, and I can’t?” She didn’t know what was scarier, the idea that Sephiroth was actually here and she couldn’t see him, or the idea that Cloud was so far gone that his nightmares were coming to life in the form of hallucinations.
Before she could ask any further questions, though, he tore away from her hold, crying in pain as he stumbled back. He gripped his head tighter as he folded in on himself, the whirlwind in his head rushing faster and faster.
‘That’s not Tifa.’
‘She has no scar.’
‘You know I killed her.’
‘You know I killed her.’
‘You know you killed her.’
Cloud screeched his lungs out as a searing, white-hot pain took hold of his mind. Tifa cupped her mouth in consternation, having never seen anything like this from him before. When she reached out to try and help him, though, he slapped her hand away as he suddenly stood up, slashing his sword wildly and catching her in the crossfire.
“Gah!” Tifa cried as his blade slashed the sensitive flesh of her scar, opening a whole new wound on top of it, albeit a much shallower one. She cradled her wound, horrified as memories of blood and flames took her mind. Looking at her palms to be met with blood, she shivered at just how familiar the situation felt. Looking back up, she saw Cloud’s face contort in pain, movements frantic as if there were two people in control of his body.
“I’m no fool!” He shouted in an agonizingly hoarse voice, and Tifa shut her eyes and braced herself for what was to come.
But when she felt blood splatter all over her, she noticed a distinct lack of pain.
At first, she thought that maybe it just hadn’t registered yet, that the adrenaline coursing through her since the battle began blocked out the agony of having a slab of metal rip through her, and that she would be feeling it frighteningly soon. After a moment, though, she finally gained the courage to wipe the blood off her face and open her eyes.
What she was met with was the image of Cloud Strife, the most important person in her life, his prized weapon ripping through his stomach and out his back. Her eyes went wide, and her skin went cold as realization dawned on her. With shaky lips, she mouthed his name, only to be cut off as he coughed up an alarming amount of blood.
“Tifa…” He whispered her name breathlessly, his voice small and hollow. And then, in an act that she would be seeing in her nightmares for the rest of her life, he smiled. It was a relieved smile, as if he were satisfied with how things had played out. Blood bubbled between his teeth and leaked onto his chin. He gave one more bloody cough, then collapsed. He fell on the hilt of his sword, causing his torso to give off a disgusting squelching noise as the blade dug in deeper before gravity forced him onto his side.
Tifa stared at his listless body, into his gazeless eyes for what felt like an eternity, until the blue sky was overtaken by storm clouds and the beautiful meadow was flooded.
And then she screamed.
————
How?
How the hell did he let that scrawny little brat get away? At the moment, the kid was weaker than a hedgehog pie in a blizzard, being damn near comatose from all the mako in the air. And yet he still slipped right through Barret’s grasp and into danger.
“Dammit, Spikey!” He cursed as he gave chase, only to be interrupted by a volley of Shinra gunfire.
“Son of a–! Choke on it, asshole!” He cried in retaliation as he returned fire to the faceless grunts lining up the opposite end of the reactor. Looking back towards the stairs Cloud disappeared up to, he saw his other fellow party members fending off more of Hojo’s abominations, seemingly also obstructed from saving the damn chocobo head.
A bullet whizzed past his head, nicking his cheek and breaking him from his thoughts.
‘Shit! Can’t get distracted now! You can’t help the kid if you’re dead. Sorry, Spikey, but you’ll have to take care of yourself for a bit.”
Barret continued to rain down cover fire, distracting the infantrymen long enough so he and the others could take cover. Hopping behind a dented support beam, he took a deep breath before taking stock. Red and Cait were present and accounted for, so at least there was some good news. Everyone else, however, was not. Aerith and Yuffie were M.I.A., Tifa was precariously dangling from a crane, and Cloud was barely keeping himself from passing out. So now it was up to him and the two pets to save them.
He couldn’t just jump back out there, though. As tough as he was, even he knew jumping into the middle of what was essentially a firing squad was suicide. The best he could do was wait until he could find an opening to pick them off one by one, but that could take time, time the others didn’t have.
“Hey, Mukker!” Great, on top of everything, now the cat was giving him lip.
“The hell you jus’ call me, catnip!?”
“Nae! Nae! Ah wis juist– ‘Twas just ah– er, tis a friendly… Ugh, Never mind that richt noo. Aim fur that thare trooper! Th' yin in rid!”
“And why should I listen to a Shinra dog—sorry—cat like you!?” Something in his voice told Cait he wasn’t sorry at all.
“Now’s no the time for petty squabblin’!” He shouted over the ringing gunfire, “Keek at that thar trooper! Th' yin wit th' tank oan his back! 'Tis gey combustible! Yin guid skelp 'n' it shuid send thaim a' sky heich!”
Barret blinked at him, completely dumbfounded.
“…What!?”
“Thare! Th’ flametrooper!”
Barret’s gaze followed the trajectory of Cait’s outstretched paw. There, he saw a flametrooper, a dangerous Shinra infantryman, but useless in the current long-range standoff. Except, maybe he wasn’t so useless.
Barret waited a moment for an opening, and when it came, without hesitation, he fired a volley of shots at the flametrooper’s pack.
BOOM
The pack ignites into a ball of flame, blowing up his entire squad and sending them and the platform into the green oblivion below.
Barret pumped his fist into the air, whooping, “Hell yeah! That’ll show ya for messin’ with AVALANCHE!”
“That’s a wee bit callous, dinnae ya think?”
“Did you say somethin’, Shinra?”
“Och Jimmy…” Cait facepalmed.
Before Barret could return to celebrating (and hopefully find the others), he was met by a familiar voice.
“Barret!”
Barret’s head spun around to see Aerith and Yuffie running towards him and waving. Barret grinned, glad that luck seemed to finally be on their side, at least for now.
As they approached, Aerith looked around confusedly before asking, “Where are Cloud and Tifa?”
Barret frowned as he was brought back to the situation at hand. They had to save Cloud and Tifa, then they could celebrate.
“Long story. Right now we oughtta—” Barret was cut off as a scream pierced the air around them, reverberating off the walls of the reactor for all to hear. Everyone froze. They recognized that voice.
“That was—“
“Tifa!”
Something bad had happened. The only question was, to whom?
————
“Cloud! Cloud, wake up! You’re gonna be alright, Cloud, just look at me—LOOK AT ME! Please just open your eyes, PLEASE! Ple-e-e-e-e-e-ease…”
Tifa smelled the iron, felt the cool steel beneath her shins, felt the warm blood trickle down her arms, and in that instant, she was sent back to that day 5 years ago, the worst day of her life. In a reactor that stunk of greed and the planet’s lifeblood, she huddled over the most important person in her life, pleading with him to get up, to look her in the eyes to tell her that he was okay, even though the gaping wound in his chest said otherwise. Back then, it was her father who was most important to her, who she held close despite having already been ripped away from her. But now, it was…
“CLOUD!” Tifa screeched at the top of her lungs as if screaming louder would finally get him to wake up.
“Well, looks like the nutjob finally did something with his worthless life and ended it.”
Tifa’s eyes widened when the voice reached her eardrums. Looking back, she saw Scarlet, still piloting the crane, sadistic grin intact.
“Oh, don’t look so upset. You knew it was only a matter of time before this happened, what with the degradation and all that. In fact, you two should be grateful! I’ve seen what cellular degradation does to a man, and trust me, this is much better than that whole can of worms.”
It was the way she said it, how she waved off his injury (not death, she refused to believe he had died; after all they had been through, it couldn’t end like this) so casually. How she played off whatever that company had done to him, how it changed his life forever, to where he might never be the same, to where he could DIE… and she laughed about it as if it were a joke. In this moment, Tifa’s blood turned to ice before melting from the burning rage that bubbled and broiled inside of her. She hurt Barret, she hurt Yuffie, and now she hurt Cloud. And that was the final straw for Tifa.
“Don’t worry, you and your friends will be joining him in a moment, just as soon as I can— Ah! There we go!” She hummed with satisfaction, finally getting the mech to work after messing around with some knobs and dials. The electronics crackled and sparked, and the machine sprang back to life.
Tifa said nothing in response, only grit her teeth. The way she didn’t care—her and that whole damn company. She cared more about that toy of hers than the lives she had ruined—had taken. All they did was take, take, take. She hated her. She hated them. All of them. And in this moment, she wanted nothing more than to see them burn.
The mech sprang from its position on the crane towards Tifa, its rockets deafeningly loud as it approached. But the only thing Tifa could hear was Scarlet’s sadistic laughter, and then the blood pumping in her ears. She was coming to hurt Cloud, and that’s all she needed to know to make her next move.
“Now stay still and die like a good dog!” Scarlet cried as the mech’s drill barreled towards Tifa. What she didn’t expect was for her prized machine to come to a complete halt, throwing her forward and nearly giving her whiplash.
“Wha– What the hell was that!?” She yelled, irritation taking over as she broke out of her stupor, only to be met by a blaring alarm as the alert siren went off. Pulling up the mech’s statistics, she saw that the drill, among other things, was jammed and heavily damaged. But what really caught her off guard were the jets, which not only were in working condition, but were actually working at maximum capacity. So the question was, why the hell wasn’t she moving!?
“What the–“ Before she could even voice the question, the machine lurched forward, and a cry of unadulterated fury broke out as the machine started spinning around. Scarlet quickly threw up the mech’s glass barrier, lest she be thrown out of the machine and, quite possibly, to a watery grave. And she was just in time, too, because before she knew it, she was thrown against the wall of the cabin, knocking the wind from her lungs. She had no time to recuperate as she was spun once, twice, then promptly smashed into the platform on the third rotation, sending dust and debris in all directions as the platform creaked and moaned under the impact.
When Scarlet came to, she lightly wiped her hair out of her face, only to be met with blood on her fingertips. She faintly heard more alarms go off, indicating severe damage and begging her to stand down. In her clouded mind, she only had one thought, and despite the machine’s protests to retreat, she gripped the throttle and pushed the mech forward. She couldn’t let that slum bitch get away with humiliating her.
As soon as she got up, though, she was immediately slammed back into the platform. This time, though, she was met with a sight that made her shiver. Standing there, covered in blood, dust, and oil, was the slum bitch, eyes full of unbridled hatred, and it was all directed at Scarlet. And though she would rather die than admit it, she was terrified. Frozen with fear, she could do nothing but watch as the seemingly insignificant barmaid started ripping her mech apart.
Tifa screamed as she dug her fists in and out of the mech, over and over and over. The metal crunched under her fists and squealed as it caved in on itself, its wires splitting open under the jagged scrap she left in her wake. Even as her fists started bleeding, even as her throat grew ragged, she didn’t stop. She wouldn’t stop. She hated them. That’s why she had joined AVALANCHE in the first place. To destroy them. And she wouldn’t stop until she saw that goal come to fruition.
The platform, however, didn’t share quite the same resolve as her, as its support beams were rocked with each strike, until finally, they gave out.
“Gah…!” Tifa was momentarily roused from her bloodthirsty rage when the ground beneath her lurched forward and threw her off balance. It was just a second, but it was all the time Scarlet needed. In a swift motion, Scarlet backhanded her with the mech’s decimated drill, sending Tifa flying through the air to crash into the wall of the reactor. The air evacuated her lungs as she made contact, leaving her choking and sputtering on the uneven flooring.
“Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!” Scarlet slammed her fist on the control board as she tried to work the mech, but it was no use; the thing was busted beyond repair. As much as she hated to admit it, she had been beaten, and if she didn’t know it before, the fire in her cockpit told her that loud and clear.
“DAMMIT!! I’ll get you next time, slum bitch!” She got in one more insult before slamming the eject button, shooting her out of the mech and into the air. Her parachute deployed, keeping her afloat, albeit only momentarily. Fortunately, the aircraft above sent down a rope for her to latch onto before she met her oblivion in the reactor below.
“RETREAT!” She cried up to the pilot, to which the team immediately complied, pulling out of the reactor and back to the safety of their base.
Back in the reactor, Tifa was slowly getting her bearings when her gaze met Cloud. The imbalanced platform sent his body slowly sliding down it and towards the edge.
“No… NO!” Tifa screamed as she forced herself up, slowly limping towards him. She had to save him. It was her fault he was in this situation. He hurt himself to protect her, all because of that stupid promise she had practically begged out of him. He had decided to put her above himself, and look where that had landed him: sliding down a reactor shaft, a blade through his stomach, getting closer and closer to the edge. He was damn near comatose from the mako in the air; she didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he fell into a pool of the stuff.
She still hadn’t accepted that the blade through his stomach had done him in yet.
Speaking of which, in the grossest display of luck she had ever seen, Cloud was saved by the hilt of his sword catching on the abandoned mech. And while it had saved him from falling off the edge for now, she could tell it wouldn’t last for long as he slowly started sliding off the blade, his sternum giving an abhorrent squelching sound all the while.
“C’mon, dammit, C’MON!” She limped as fast as she could, but she could only move so fast when her body was so spent. The closer she got to Cloud, the closer he got to the edge, and by the time she had reached him, he had reached the end of his rope. Just as she reached for his leg to catch him, he slumped over the platform and fell into the pit below.
“CLOUD! NO!” She screamed and, without hesitation, jumped in after him. She could hear Barret and the others screaming her name, telling her not to jump, but she didn’t care. Not when she was the only one standing between Cloud and the abyss.
She quickly caught up, wrapping her arms around him in a deathly tight, white-knuckle grip in an effort to protect him from the impact, which came a moment later as they smacked against the surface of the thick, metallic liquid.
Tifa was frozen by the shock that the cold liquid brought to her system, but she quickly regained her bearings as she grabbed Cloud and swam upwards. It was harder to move than she expected, but she didn’t have a choice but to keep moving, as it wasn’t just her life at stake.
Tifa gasped for air as she broke the surface, bringing Cloud up with her so he could get some much-needed oxygen.
Even though his chest had long stopped moving.
“Tifa!” She spun her head around to see her friends desperately waving her towards them.
“Tifa! Get the hell outta there!” Barret’s voice boomed above all of the others, as was typical of her more ‘expressive’ friend. And she tried her best, but despite her efforts, she was so exhausted that it was taking all she had just to keep herself and Cloud treading. Her legs burned, her scar bled anew, and the smell of mako made her head hurt. Guess she now knew how Cloud felt being even a little close to the stuff.
“Tifa! Hang on, we’ll find a way to get you guys out!” Aerith yelled reassuringly.
Aerith.
Aerith!
Tifa’s legs started kicking at full force, working against the thick sludge as she used one arm to paddle and the other to keep Cloud close. If anyone could help Cloud right now, it was Aerith. Her healing capabilities were beyond anything she had ever seen, so much so that she wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up healing him without even needing materia. But that would only be happening if she could see him there before… she didn’t want to think about that.
“Aerith! You need to help Cloud! Please, I don’t know how much longer he can hold in there!”
“What!? What’s wrong!?”
What wasn’t wrong at this point?
“He–“
Tifa was cut off as the mako beneath her shifted, sending ripples that rocked her and Cloud back and forth.
“What the…”
The entire reactor shook as mako splashed in all directions. Tifa tightened her grip as she and Cloud were hit by a wave of mako that dragged them below the pool’s surface. She opened her eyes only for burning green ooze to block out her sight. She broke the surface, gasping for air and wiping mako out of her eyes. But before she could gather her bearings, Barret cried her name again.
“TIFA! LOOK OUT!”
Tifa only had a second to look behind her, her eyes widening as her entire vision was obscured by a giant, whale-like beast, and then darkness.
——————————————
“Tifa…”
“Tifa…”
“TIFA!”
Tifa’s eyes shot open. She gasped as she desperately attempted to fill her lungs with much-needed air, like she was breaking the surface of a grand ocean after being held under for ages. She took deep breaths, gulping down air until her breathing evened and her heart slowed. She massaged her temples, the voices booming in it only a moment ago now dying down. Their echoes remained, however, and only now she realized how familiar they sounded—like people from a past life.
Who were they? What was that, anyway? And most importantly, where was she?
As she tried to move, she noticed her arms and legs lagged, their motions restricted by her surroundings, as if she were underwater.
‘Or… under mako…’ She thought to herself, faintly remembering her fall into the reactor.
Working up her courage, she swam forward, trying to make sense of her situation. And while her courage was admirable, it was not without consequences.
Doink. Her head gave a dull thud as it bumped off of something solid, making her flinch slightly in pain, but mostly surprise.
“Owww…” She rubbed her head again, this time for a completely different reason, only to completely forget the pain as she looked through the transparent wall. An ocean of green flooded her vision as far as she could see. And inside it was… weird. Nothing had form. It was all buildings and landscapes of completely different origins and aesthetics blending in and out of each other. From skyscrapers standing above barren snowfields to farms under the shroud of a bustling city, it was an anomaly.
She took notice of her more immediate surroundings. Looking up, she was startled to see the roof was made of blue flesh, pulsing and thrumming with life. She was horrified at first, before she remembered where she was.
‘That’s right, the Weapon from the reactor. Cloud and I got swallowed by it–‘ She gasped, ‘CLOUD!’
She swung back to see Cloud suspended beside her, asleep and untouched. She took a sharp intake of air at the lack of a wound, and had to do a double-take to make sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her. Just a bit earlier, he had looked so… that didn’t matter now. She needed to make sure he was truly in the clear. She swam over to him, clinging to him tightly as she lay her head against his chest. The room went silent. She held her breath in anticipation, until…
…TH-THUMP…TH-THUMP…TH-THUMP… The even rhythm of his heartbeat echoed through her ear.
‘He’s okay.’ She thought. Her heart flooded with a typhoon of emotions. ‘He… he almost….’
It was all too much for her as she let out a strangled sob, burying her face into his sweater as she cried tears of relief. He was alive. She didn’t know how, but he was alive. She continued to cry into his chest until her tears stained his sweater and she was left sniffling and shaking as she held him close.
After a moment, she heard a groan. Slowly, she raised her head, only to be met with pulsing blue organs. She hesitantly addressed the Weapon.
“Did you do this? Did you heal my friend?”
She received no answer, but she didn’t need one to know it was true. She sighed as a wave of relief came over her.
“Thank you.” She whispered as she loosened her grip, but only slightly. She held Cloud to her chest, cradling his head against her shoulder as she slowly stroked his golden spikes. Their faces were so close that she could feel his breath on her face, yet another sign that he was okay. She let out one final sigh of relief as she closed her eyes and let herself drift in the mako. She didn’t know where they were, nor how they’d get out, but just knowing that Cloud was okay was enough for now. After all that had happened today, she just wanted a second to rest. Moments passed, but nothing happened. They just drifted around the belly of the weapon, the only sounds to accompany being quiet groans from the beast and the sloshing of the mako inside. That is, until the voices started back up again.
“Tifa, where are you going?”
“I’m going to find mama!”
Tifa’s eyes shot wide open. She recognized those voices.
“Then we’re coming with you!”
“Me too!”
“To Mount Nibel!”
Tifa spun around, careful not to jostle Cloud too much. Outside the transparent belly of the Weapon, memories of a life passed played out before her. She remembered this day.
The day her mother passed.
Tifa inhaled sharply as the memory hit her, trying to stifle it back down. She didn’t like thinking about this day, and she especially didn’t want to think about it when she was already so drained. And yet, she couldn’t turn her eyes away.
“Come on, Tifa!”
“This way!”
‘Is this… the lifestream? Are we dead?’ She thought morbidly.
Tifa jumped as the world shifted around them, giving way to a loud rumbling that had her clinging to Cloud tighter. Slowly, snow-tipped crags towered around them, thunder boomed, and lightning lit the sky, harsh winds chilled her to the bone, and at the eye of the storm was none other than her younger self and—
“Cloud…” Tifa whispered to herself softly. All of the other boys had disappeared, leaving only her and Cloud on a rickety old bridge.
“Tifa, stop!”
The young girl halted for a moment, seemingly hesitant, before steeling her resolve and continuing across the bridge. Tifa knew how this all ended; she and Cloud fell off the cliff in an accident that had left her in a coma for a week. She had forgotten the whole event, but her father was there to jog her memory. He said that Cloud had egged her on and pushed her off the mountain, that he was no good, and that she should stay away from him. She was always suspicious of that story, feeling in her gut that Cloud would never do that, and it seemed that her suspicions were true.
“We have to turn back!” The young Cloud’s voice broke, his body shaking uncontrollably. He was afraid, yet he refused to turn back, planting his feet firmly on the ground.
The incident was nothing like what her father described. Cloud was trying to talk her down, not egg her on. He wasn’t some menace trying to trick her; he was a kind-hearted boy just trying to do the right thing, even though he was shaking in fear.
“You’re not gonna find your mom here. She’s gone…”
That last statement had the young Tifa whip around angrily.
“What do you know, Cloud!? If you’re not gonna help me, then just—just leave!” She berated him before turning back to the bridge with a new resolve, trekking forward with a more confident stride.
The younger Cloud shrank in on himself, seemingly hurt by her words, but he stayed anyway, continuing his pursuit of her. Tifa felt a pang in her chest—This wasn’t anything like what the villagers had told her. Cloud had selflessly put himself in harm’s way to make sure she was okay, and yet all she did in return was shun him.
The boy, ignoring her demands, continued trudging towards her, steeling his resolve despite his fears.
Tifa knew what happened next, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch when the wind picked up, rocking the bridge back and forth, leaving the children to stumble along it, looking for a foothold.
“Tifa! This isn’t safe! We need to—“
Cloud was cut off as the bridge violently lurched to the right, and with a hair-raising screech, Tifa tumbled over the edge.
“TIFA!” The little Cloud screamed as he reached out for her. He dived to grab her hand, getting so close, but missing by just a few inches. The boy screamed her name, then screamed again as the bridge lurched once more, sending him tumbling after her.
Tifa’s eyes widened as her hand slapped against her mouth—she had been told this story a million times, and not once had anyone ever told her that Cloud had fallen off with her, not even Cloud himself. In fact, he hadn’t told her anything about what actually happened; he just took the blame and stayed silent. Why? Why didn’t he tell anybody? Why didn’t he tell her? And why did she have to go and climb that dumb mountain and rope him into it in the first place?
She felt a pang of guilt in her chest.
Why was she always so weak? Why did her weakness always end up hurting Cloud? He fell off the bridge because of her, he stabbed himself because of her, his mind was jumbled beyond belief because she couldn’t just grow a spine and confront him about it.
Tifa was broken out of her thoughts by a cry for help. When she looked back at the memory, her heart sank deeper as she saw the young Cloud crying as he limped towards her younger self. His shins were skinned to the bone, blood gushing down his legs and staining his socks red. Ever the hero, though, he pushed through the pain as he kneeled next to her, only to regret it a moment later as a jolt of pain shot through his shins.
“Ti…faa… a–are you o–o–okay? Ti…faa? Tifa!?” He called for her between sobs, but he got no response. She was out cold, a puddle of blood forming beneath her pale body. Cloud’s face was etched with worry as he started shaking her in an attempt to wake her up. When she didn’t respond, Cloud started hyperventilating, panicked as he threw his head back and screamed for help.
“HELP! SOMEONE HELP! PLEEEE–E–E–EASE!” His little voice broke as he went into a sobbing fit, and Tifa felt her eyes water at the display. He screeched and cried for help, but no one came. It was scary. Cloud was such a sweet, quiet child. To see him raise his voice even a little was jarring, so to see him scream bloody gore as he cried his eyes out was a whole new level of disconcerting. He looked so alone and afraid, and Tifa wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be fine.
Well, technically, she could. In fact, she was already doing one of those.
She looked down at the real Cloud, features relaxed and fast asleep. She brushed a strand of hair out of his face, her hand resting on his cheek. He didn’t respond verbally, but he did react to her touch, leaning into it as he hummed. She smiled softly, and while she would never say it out loud, she could confidently tell herself, without any prying eyes, that he looked adorable in his sleep. So much for the big bad SOLDIER that had stumbled into Midgar just a few months back.
Her mind followed that train of thought as she pondered his career in SOLDIER. He claimed he was prolific, but she checked the papers every day and hadn’t seen him once. Claimed he had slain Sephiroth during the Nibelheim incident, but she was there, and she knew for a fact he wasn’t—granted, she was out cold for that last part, but the point still stood. Something was going on with Cloud, something he wasn’t telling her. And the fact that he didn’t trust her enough to tell her… hurt. It hurt a lot.
She sighed. ‘Just what are you hiding up in that head of yours, Cloud Strife? And why can’t you just let me in?’
With a rumbling that had her yelping in surprise, the world shifted once again. Tifa watched in awe as mountains crumbled and fell upon them, stirring panic in Tifa as she shielded Cloud with her body and braced herself, only to open her eyes and see they were left unharmed as the rubble fell into a construct around them. Shadows swallowed them, concrete walls blocked out the sky, and sterile white lights replaced the sun. Tifa blocked the blinding light with her palm as her eyes adjusted, but as soon as they did, she wished they hadn’t.
Shelves lined the walls, holding anything from books filled with ancient texts to jars filled with biological oddities. At the center of the room was a metal table that held stacks of books and research papers. Although judging by the red stains that marred its surface, she could tell that it had other uses. Looking down, long tubes were haphazardly strewn about the floor, filtering a familiar green energy from somewhere off to the side into—
“Cloud!?” Tifa balked at the sight of him floating in a tank of mako, stripped of all clothing and only granted slight modesty by tubes that tangled around him as they invaded nearly every crook of his body. Any other time, she would’ve been blushing madly at the sight of him naked, but the horror of the situation made it impossible to feel any emotion besides dread.
Curious yet costive, Tifa leaned in closer, her grip on Cloud slacking as she brought a hand up to the wall of their sanctuary. She was mere inches away from the glass when Cloud’s visage started flashing before her eyes like a slideshow, sending her reeling back as she gasped in surprise. Images of him banging on the glass of his tank, squirming on a surgery table, vomiting green liquid, and many more horrifying visions flashed before her eyes. Even when she screwed her eyes shut, the hallucinations continued, appearing behind her eyelids as they permeated her mind.
It only lasted a moment, but it felt like an eternity, and once it had ended, Tifa was left gasping for air while tears ran down her paling cheeks. She screamed. It was a guttural cry, manifesting all of her shock and anguish in a single, tear-jerking sound. She desperately clung to Cloud, left crying into his shoulder as her only source of comfort after such trauma. And yet, all she could think about was how none of the pain she just felt could ever compare to what he kept hidden.
“What… What is this? Why… are you showing me this?” She cried out to whoever would listen, but heard nothing in return but silence. It didn’t matter, though, because it was in that silence that realization dawned upon her.
“That lab… It’s the reason why Cloud is the way he is. His jumbled memories, his headaches, him acting like a completely different person… It’s all because of what happened in that lab… right?” Her question went unanswered, but she didn’t need anyone to tell her to know she was right. Her grip tightened, and her hatred for Shinra burned even brighter. Though she didn’t know for sure, she had a strong feeling it had something to do with them.
Her rage was quelled, however, as an idea sprouted in her mind. She was shown that memory only after she asked what happened to Cloud, a question the lifestream was apparently eager to answer. And if the Lifestream were still willing to help her out, she could use that to her advantage…
“What…” She paused, unsure if she would be able to handle the answer.
What if Cloud really wasn’t there? What if he really was hiding something from her, whether he knew it or not?
What if he wasn’t even the real Cloud?
She shook her head, banishing such ridiculous thoughts to the back of her mind. This was Cloud, undoubtedly. She could see it in his eyes, those stormy rain clouds that held a bright blue sky behind them; there was no copying that.
This was for Cloud. He had been through so much that he at the very least deserved answers, even if they weren’t exactly what he, nor she, wanted to hear. And with that thought, she asked her next question without hesitation.
“Where was Cloud during the Nibelheim Incident?”
The world once again started shifting, the concrete walls falling around them in a moment that felt almost freeing. Tifa could go the rest of her life without ever seeing that room again, and it still wouldn’t be long enough, and she was sure Cloud felt the same. Looking down at his face, it was immediately apparent that something was wrong. His brows furrowed, and his jaw tensed up as he started babbling nonsensically.
“Cloud? Cloud what’s wr—“ She was cut off by a long, curved blade which shattered the protective barrier and whizzed past her cheek. She swung her head around, only to be met with none other than the silver-haired bastard from her nightmares.
“Sephiroth!?” Said man grinned smugly as he retracted his blade from the stomach of the beast, leaving a huge crack in its materia that had it roaring in agony.
“No! Stop it!” Tifa pleaded for the creature’s sake. It was innocent in all of this, its only sin being who it was carrying in its belly. Sephiroth, however, didn’t share in Tifa’s sympathy, thrusting his blade back at her again. She narrowly dodged the blade, but in the process, she had lost her grip on Cloud, losing sight of him as the green haze of the lifestream started to flood their sanctuary as well as her lungs. She choked as she accidentally inhaled an unhealthy bit of mako—not that any amount of mako was healthy—before she started coughing violently as her lungs tried to expel the foreign substance. It only made the situation worse, though, as her coughing just left her mouth more open for mako to flood in. The mako, combined with the lack of oxygen, left her fading as her vision shifted from the infinite green of the lifestream to an empty white void. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, and she could barely think; all she could do was stare endlessly into the infinite nothing.
“Oh, Tifa…” Sephiroth’s voice boomed through the endless expanse, setting Tifa on high alert as she regained some of her cognition. She swerved her eyes around, looking for the bastard, but was met with nothing but… well, nothingness.
“You’re quite the anomaly…” He continued, his slimy tone sending shivers down her spine, “You can pull his strings without him even noticing, and yet now you’re trying to cut them?”
“What are you getting at? And where’s Cloud?” She hissed with every bit of resentment she could conjure, which wasn’t hard considering who she was talking to. She didn’t care about whatever mumbo jumbo he had to spew right now; all she cared about at the moment was Cloud.
“The puppet? Why would you care about where he is? He is but a tool—“
“Shut up!” She growled, her blood boiling hotter with every word he spoke. “He’s not a puppet, he’s my friend, and I’m not gonna let you treat him like some… some broken toy!”
She continued, in an even harsher tone, “You’re the reason why he attacked me earlier, aren't you? He would never hurt any of us on purpose, so you made him do it! That's why you keep calling him a puppet!”
Sephiroth chuckled in that smooth and sinister voice that was so unmistakably his. Just hearing it made her want to break his nose with a good right hook. The only thing more punchable than his voice was his face, with that holier-than-thou grin and those cat-like eyes; just thinking about it made her grind her teeth in rage. If she could see him right now, she was sure he’d have that look on his face for the five seconds it took for her to storm over and knock the teeth out of his grin.
“I confess, I practiced a little bit of my influence on him, but that's all. I’m not hurting him, I’m just pointing him in the right direction. Besides, I couldn’t hurt him even if I wanted to. After all, how can you hurt that which cannot feel? That which isn’t even real? Quite the conundrum, isn’t it?”
“You keep your slimy hands away from him, you bastard!’ Once again, though she couldn’t move her mouth, Tifa’s voice echoed through the abyss clearly and resolutely. Even though she was in no place to be making threats, she still held all the confidence of a behemoth with twice the fury. And besides, it wasn't a threat; it was a promise.
Sephiroth, however, was unfazed by her glare, only chuckling more as he palmed his forehead.
“If you won’t heed my words, I have nothing left to say to you. Farewell, for now, Tifa.” With that, the image of Sephiroth appeared before her, back turned and walking away. Tifa struggled against the invisible binds that kept her body listless, wanting nothing more than to chase that monster down and beat him to a bloody pulp, but it was no use. Just as she was about to see if she could still use her materia, she froze. As she looked in the abyss, her eyes were stolen by the most beautiful, yet most disquieting sight. His mere presence left her speechless. His gaze, half-lidded and glazed over, bored right through her as if she wasn’t even there. He swayed back and forth, his posture slumped and uneven, like a rotting, hollow oak tree seconds from caving in on itself, a victim of a stray autumn wind. The idea of that alone made her throat tighten, and her heart clenched.
It was when she saw him turn that she registered what was happening, and that’s when the words couldn’t stop pouring out even if she tried.
“Cloud! Stop! Don’t go!”
Her words fell on deaf ears as Cloud started to trudge towards Sephiroth slowly, his movements clumsy and staggered like that of a mako junkie roaming the Midgar slums. He wasn’t in his right mind; his head was clouded by the mako those megalomaniacs at Shinra pumped into him, regardless of the consequences for his psyche. Once again, his cognition was ripped from him, and she was the only one standing between him and oblivion.
“Cloud! Listen to me! You can’t follow him! He’s… he’s… Cloud, please!” She continued to beg and plead until her voice grew sore, but it only became more apparent that nothing would get through to him. She panicked, her voice becoming hoarse and her eyes starting to water as he got to the edge of nothingness. She could just barely make out Sephiroth’s visage peeking through the white light, giving her the most sadistic, spine-tingling, wicked grin.
“NO! NOT HIM! DON’T TAKE HIM TOO!” She tried to thrash out of her binds, but it was no use. It was like she was trapped in a lucid dream turned nightmare, her limbs heavy as lead and refusing to comply with her.
“CLOUD, PLEASE!” He reached out to take Sephiroth’s hand, and Tifa struggled to breathe as she was struck by a panic attack. She couldn’t lose him; he was all she had left after Nibelheim burned. He wasn’t just a friend; he was something beyond that, something that she couldn’t describe in simple terms. He was her savior, her guiding light, something she couldn’t live without—didn’t want to live without. He was… everything.
“CLOUD! I… I NEED YOU!”
As soon as those words left her mouth, the world stood still. Cloud paused, his head perking up like he was snapped out of a daydream, before he slowly turned around to glance at her. He blinked the haze out of his eyes until all she could see was clear blue skies addressing her.
He opened his mouth.
“…Tifa?”
And then they broke the surface.
———————————
Yuffie paced back and forth along the steel coast of the mako reactor, scanning its tides in hopes that some sign of her friends would wash up. Off to the side was Aerith, watching her intently. She wanted nothing more than to approach her friend with comfort; to tell her that everything would be okay, but she couldn’t. After all, even with all of her previous foresight, not even she was sure everything would be okay.
Barret, Cait, and Red were all hanging back under the makeshift metal awning formed by one of the trashed platforms above. Their heads hung low as they brooded over their current situation and how helpless they were to fix it. The air was thick with tension that no one knew how to address, but that didn’t stop Barret from trying. He let out a deep sigh before calling out to their youngest member.
“Kid,” Yuffie turned around to acknowledge him, “I get that you’re worried, and so are we… but you pacin’ back and forth like that won’t get those two back up here any sooner, it’ll only make ya legs tired.”
Yuffie only rolled her eyes before returning to her manhunt, shrugging off Barret with a wave over her shoulder, “Yeah, yeah, just gimme a sec. I think I saw something—“
“You been seein’ stuff for the past 20 minutes, and nothing has come up. Just calm down and—“
Yuffie rounded on him, flaring her nostrils as she shouted, “At least I’m doing something! All you’re doing is brooding while you sit on your fat ass!”
Barret goggled at her insubordination. “Hey, a young lady like you shouldn’ be talkin’ to adults like that! I’m only trynna help—“
“Help yourself and piss off!” She finished with an exaggerated wave over her shoulder before returning to her pace, this time more brisk and agitated. Aerith walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder, seemingly finally finding the courage to help console her.
Barret was astounded. If he had been even a little testy with any adult as a child, his mother—Gaia rest her soul—would have put a bar of soap in his mouth and a boot so far up his ass he’d be burping up shoe polish for weeks. And while he knew that his mother was stricter than most, it didn’t make hearing Yuffie be so ungovernable any less jarring. He’d usually be furious at such disrespect, but the only emotion he could summon was bewilderment. He looked to Red and Cait for support, but they both turned their heads away and pretended to be distracted, obviously not wanting to get involved in the debacle. Looking to Aerith, she gave a strained grin that communicated to him to just let it go, before returning her attention to Yuffie.
Barret sighed. It felt like no one in this whole damn group listened to him.
‘You best get your ass back here in one piece, Spikey.’ Barret thought as he rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes, ‘I don’t know how you put up with these crazies, let alone manage ‘em, but I sure don’t envy it.’
He chuckled to himself at that thought, seeing the irony in it coming from him, ‘Then again, I guess I’m one to talk, not that you’ll ever get an apology out of me.’
It was funny. Just a few months ago, he was the leader of a feared eco-terrorist group, now he was struggling to command a single rowdy teen—‘Oh man, is Marlene gonna be like this when she gets older?’. Just a few months ago, he wanted nothing more than to chase the Ex-SOLDIER out of town, now here he was praying for his safe return. After that jerk strolled into town, stole the respect of all of his subordinates, superseded leadership of his group, then started recruiting all breeds (literally) of misfits into it without even asking him—one of which worked for his mortal enemy—he should be happy he was gone. And the funny thing was, a few months ago, he would’ve been. But now… now all he wanted was for the kid to be okay.
They had heard Tifa’s scream; all saw him fall into the pit of mako, slack as a corpse, even as he and Tifa smacked headfirst into the cool sludge; heard Tifa’s pleas for Aerith’s help, yelling something about how Cloud ‘couldn’t hold in there much longer,’ which was concerning even with the most optimistic interpretation. Maybe Tifa was overreacting, maybe she was exaggerating, maybe maybe maybe—Maybe he should have paid more attention to Cloud, then none of this would be happening. Maybe it was best that Cloud took the leader role since he was obviously doing it wrong. He only had to watch the scrawny bastard for a few seconds, and he couldn’t even manage that. Not to mention, it was his leadership that lit Corel ablaze, that wiped out half of his cell, that put a bigger target on AVALANCHE’s backs; Hell, maybe it really was his fault Shinra dropped the Sector 7 Plate. If he had been smarter and not so gung-ho about taking down Shinra, maybe all those people would’ve…
He released a quiet, shaky breath at that. There was no point in dwelling on what could have been; the only thing he could do was learn and move on. He wanted to at least seem strong while he was still temporarily in charge, but he couldn’t handle the wave of emotions that swept through him at the thought of losing even one more person. He wasn’t a great leader—he wasn’t even a decent one—but he would be damned if he didn’t try. For Biggs, for Wedge, for Jesse; for Dyne and his wife and his sweet, precious Marlene; for all that had been lost and who would be lost along the way; and right now, for Cloud and Tifa.
Ramuh, did he hope those two were okay.
Thankfully, those dark thoughts were interrupted by Yuffie, who had already seemed to forget that she was even mad as she excitedly chimed, “Wait, I think I see something…!”
Before Barret could roll his eyes, the ground suddenly rumbled, sending him staggering for purchase on the already precarious platform. Red shot up from where he was silently perched, grabbing Cait—who had stumbled over and was tumbling down the incline of the platform— by the scruff.
“The hell did you do, Yuffie?!” Barret yelled.
“I didn’t do anything this time! I swear!”
With a roar, the weapon broke the surface of the pool, soaring through the air with the majesty of a dolphin. They had all but a few seconds to bask in the beauty of it before they realized it was heading right towards them.
“GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!” Barrer hollered, and before he could even finish his sentence, Yuffie and Aerith were already screaming and running away, just barely dodging the weapon as it inelegantly slammed onto the platform in an act that shook the whole reactor, kicking up dust and sending the two girls airborne as they tumbled to opposite sides of the platform. Barret shielded his face from the impact, rubbing dust out of his eyes as he tried to get a grasp on the situation. He looked for Aerith and Yuffie, but there was still too much dust to see them.
“Aerith! Yuffie! You guys alright!”
“Yeah, I’m okay…” Aerith responded almost immediately.
“Bleugh…” That was definitely Yuffie. The poor girl got motion sick at even the slightest movement, which amazed Barret just as much as it grossed him out. Anyway, the important part was that they were okay. As for the weapon…?
When Barret approached the thing, the first thing he noticed, even before getting close, was how heavily it was breathing, like it had just run a marathon or something. It groaned in what he assumed was pain, to which he instinctively reached a hand towards the beast’s hide, rubbing along it soothingly as he approached its face. It was strained, its jaw set and its lips curled in a snarl as it flared its nostrils. The others had made their way over by now, their expressions ranging from wary to shocked to concerned. Even Yuffie, who only a few weeks ago talked about stealing its materia for herself, seemed perturbed by its current state.
Everyone jolted as the weapon began shifting; gurgling noises came from its throat, setting everyone on edge. Whatever was happening, it didn’t sound good.
Barret was first to notice the gurgling turn into rumbling as its cheeks puffed up. Its eyes blew wide open, and Barret knew what would come next. He shouted, “GET BACK!”
No sooner than when he said that, the beast vomited a tide of spittle, bile, and mako, causing a chorus of ‘ewes’ and ‘ughs’ from the party. Their sounds of disgust turned into those of surprise, though, as none other than Cloud and Tifa came tumbling out of the whale-like creature’s maw and onto the steel beach. As soon as Tifa hit the ground, she was coughing up mako, clearing her lungs of any intrusive substances and filling them with real, honest-to-gods air.
Yuffie was the first to take initiative, checking on Cloud to see if he showed any signs of life. Barret followed suit, checking on Tifa.
“Teef…!” He rested a hand on her shoulder as he waited for a response, rubbing it soothingly to give some sense of comfort to her shaking form.
“Barret…?” Her voice sounded raw as she addressed him, her eyes whipping around frantically looking for him as her eyes adjusted. When she finally made out his form, the curves of her mouth slowly curved upwards in a reassuring smile. Whether it was for him or herself, he wasn’t really sure, and he didn’t really care. She was alive.
She looked awful. The events of the day caked her in a mix of blood, oil, mako, and stomach acid, and left her smelling like it, too. Her eyes were dull and listless, like she was on the verge of fainting, but she was alive.
“He’s not breathing!”
Barret and Tifa simultaneously swiveled their heads around to see Yuffie hunched over Cloud’s form, shaking like a leaf and completely unequipped to handle the situation before her. Sometimes, Barret realized, they forgot she was just a kid.
“Cloud…!” She grunted as she attempted to get up, only to be stopped by Barret. She growled at him to let go, but Barret didn’t budge.
“Let go…!”
“You’re in no shape to help him right now. You’ll only get in the way.” He said as coolly and calmly as he could, given the situation. He nodded his head back towards Cloud, who was being tended to by Aerith. “She’s the best medic we got. If she can’t save him, no one can.”
He meant for it to sound reassuring, but it must’ve had the opposite effect as Tifa’s eyes pulsed with fear. With a grunt and more strength than he thought she was capable of in her current state, she threw his hand off of her and limped/crawled towards their friend.
‘27…28…29…30…!’ Aerith finished her set of compressions, and just as she tilted Cloud’s head back to breathe life-giving air into him, his eyes shot wide open as he started coughing up the contents of his lungs as well as his stomach. Tifa made it just in time to see an exorbitant amount of mako leave his system before he flopped back down, breathing heavily.
“Cloud…” She groaned as she placed herself on top of him, checking herself to make sure he was truly okay. His eyes, usually the teal landscape she had come to associate with him, were now flooded green. It was probably a side effect of the high mako saturation in his body, and it made her idly wonder if her eyes had a tint of green to them right now.
Cloud’s eyes focused, finally meeting hers. He whispered weakly, “Tifa…?”
She smiled, “In the flesh.”
He gave a slight, relieved chuckle in response before falling back into unconsciousness. Everyone went into panic mode, trying to rouse him. Tifa, on the other hand, finally let herself relax as she followed suit.
“Cloud, wake up!”
“Tifa, you need to—Tifa? Hey, Tifa!”
“Don’t close your eyes! Tifa!”
Her friends' voices rang in the back of her mind as she fell on top of Cloud, the day's events finally getting the best of her. She was filthy beyond belief, reeked more than a chocobo pen, and was so beyond exhausted that she couldn’t lift a muscle even if she wanted to, and yet despite that, she still came out on top.
And with that thought in mind, she closed her eyes.