Work Text:
Sometimes Derek finds himself missing the things that he did when he was alive.
He's…fine with his death, it's kind of hard to not be fine with it, but there are some things that he just can't let go of.
It's easier to forget about it when he's with Avery, but unfortunately Avery is at work most days, which leaves Derek alone in the darkness of the computer, by himself with his thoughts.
He wanders around the house from time to time, the sprite Avery got him helps with that. Sometimes he'll try to watch TV, just to realize that he can only see a corner of the screen because of his small avatar. Other times he'll try to search up things on Avery's computer.
Derek has spent many lonely afternoons watching pirated movies and too-long YouTube videos, forever thankful for the "picture-in-picture" feature.
But sometimes his thoughts get the best of him, running wild especially when Avery isn't there to distract him.
"I wonder what my grave looks like, I wonder if I even have a grave."
"I miss my mom; I wonder what she's up to."
"I miss coding."
"I miss feeling things. I miss food. I miss touch. I miss not having to float from place to place while nobody can see me."
"I miss games."
The last one replayed in his mind over and over as Derek waited for Avery to get home today. It was…different than the rest. Less depressing, less of a "need" and more of a "want."
And it was exactly why him and Avery were having a game night.
Derek climbs across the icons of Avery's games as he waits for him to choose one. He climbs from one end of the screen to the other, stumbling slightly as he jumps onto the notepad.
Adjusting to his new "body" has been…strange.
Armor is heavier than he thought it'd be, he trips over his cape an embarrassing amount, and most of his motions are limited to preset animations.
Avery said that he asked for as many expressions and animations as possible.
Derek said "thank you" and failed to hide the wobble in his voice.
Avery?
Aves?
Avery :c
Is he trying to annoy Avery on purpose? Yes. Is Avery laughing? Also yes. It's truly a win-win situation.
Derek stares at Avery through the screen; he wishes he could reach out and touch him, or sit next to him, anything to actually be with him.
He fidgets with his cape as he thinks.
Now that he thinks about it, he's been fidgeting a lot since he started using the sprite. Who wouldn't after being a ghost for twelve months? It's surprisingly hard to stay still when you have an entire cape and knight's helmet on 24/7.
Derek is quiet as he watches Avery's eyes scan the message…
"Yeah, Der?" Avery asks, "You good?"
Derek fails to hide his smile at the nickname, and the concern, and just…Avery in general; he's suddenly very grateful for his helmet.
I'm fine, Aves.
Have you picked a game yet?
Avery's eyes light up as the game is mentioned. Derek can see him scrolling through itch.io out of the corner of his eye.
"Oh- Uh, no, not yet…You got anything in mind?"
A small question mark appears over Derek's head as he thinks, making him laugh in surprise. He's quite literally been finding out new things about the sprite every day.
Derek hops over to the itch.io window, he shrugs as he watches Avery scroll through the games.
No, nothing in mind.
Do you have any ideas?
"That's alright," Avery smiles, "How about…this one?"
Avery's cursor hovers over a horror game; it's a short game where you travel through a house over and over again in a loop, finding new things on every "restart." It has a myriad of endings, both short and long, one of them—
"Wait, Der— Spoilers!" Avery laughs.
Derek freezes, his eyes dart towards the notepad, eyeing the new wall of text that sits there…He must've been thinking out loud.
Sorry, Avery.
:(
We can play that one.
Derek rushes back over to the notepad, quickly erasing everything there…He can't be ruining his time with Avery before it's already started.
Not having an "actual" voice, Derek relies on Avery's notepad for communication, and sometimes his thoughts get jumbled with his words. It's been happening more and more lately. Thankfully, Avery has never been there to see the worst of it.
Derek hops off the notepad, his cape sways slightly as he watches the game download.
"Der? You alright?" Avery asks.
Yes, Avery.
I'm fine,
Just thinking.
You can open the game now :D
The game full-screens as Avery opens it, dropping Derek into a title screen.
It's cold. Is the first thing Derek notices, he hasn't felt cold in a long, long time. He stands in front of the door to the house as he watches Avery click through the settings.
Avery's looks over at Derek, his eyes widening slightly.
"Dude, you're like…normal height now." He says.
Derek almost laughs.
Do you not like it, Avery?
"Hm? Yeah, you look cool." Avery grins.
Derek's face heats up as he hears the compliment, silently hoping that Avery can't see his face.
Derek wanders around as he waits for Avery to finish the tutorial, taking a moment to get used to his new…avatar of sorts. His cape is longer, his boots feel heavier, it's strange.
Avery said that he only commissioned one sprite— the tiny knight form that Derek uses while on the desktop— but the sprite changes form depending on where Derek is.
On the desktop? A small, somewhat pixelated version of his Minecraft skin.
On the TV? A low-poly 3D knight, just slightly taller than the sprite on the desktop.
And…in this game? A taller 2D Knight, drawn in a style completely different than the ones Derek has gotten used to.
Derek doesn't exactly know why his form changes depending on where he is, and Avery was just as confused when he found out. But, he has to admit, it is fun to not be restricted to only a single form.
Avery finally finishes the tutorial, retaining none of the information as he clicks "play."
"So…What do we do here? The objective and all?"
Derek freezes; that was weird. He spoke, he said actual words that he could hear.
Avery's hands still on his keys; he stares at the text-box with unblinking eyes.
"Did you- Did you talk just now?" Avery whispers.
"I, um, I think I did, Aves…The text-box is still there, right?"
"Huh?" Avery looks down at the text-box, watching the words appear as Derek speaks, "Oh, yeah! I can still see what you're saying. I'm just…surprised, that's all."
The two are quiet for a moment, still in awe of…whatever just happened.
"You, uh…Y- you look cool like this." Avery stammers, "I mean, not that you don't normally look cool! It's just that your voice and outfit and stuff are—"
"…You're rambling."
"…I am." Avery sighs.
"That's…fine. There's nothing particularly wrong with you rambling. I like it, actually…"
Derek whispers the last part; he wonders why he even spoke at all. He's going to die a second death and it will be Avery's fault for making him say stupid things.
Avery blinks at the screen…Derek watches him falter slightly before his hands start moving across the keys.
"Cool!" He blurts out, "Cool, cool, cool…Lets, uh, lets start the game! Yeah, that's cool..." Avery's awkwardly trails off as he starts to control his character, aka Derek.
Avery wants to disappear.
Avery wants to find a detailed log of every single word he's ever said and completely start anew, because he's embarrassed himself way too much for one day. Matter of fact, he's embarrassed himself way too much for one life.
"You look cool like this." Who says that!?
"Oh, Derek, you look soooooooo cool and your voice is soooooo cool!! I might as well just kiss you through the screen!!!"
Avery wants to scrub the memory from his mind; he must've sounded so stupid.
He tries to focus on the task at hand: the game.
It sounds relatively easy! Walk through the house, find things, and don't get scared in front of Derek! Easy work.
Despite Derek's "character" being the playable one, he still seems to talk and move independently, as if the press of Avery's keys were mere suggestions.
They're quiet as they make their way through the house, occasionally checking the rooms and drawers for items…
Midway through taking items from a drawer, a creaking noise resounds through Avery's headphones, making him freeze.
Derek notices the pause and turns to look at Avery, gesturing toward where the noise came from.
"Should we go investigate…?"
Avery looks at Derek, then back to where the noise came from. He silently wonders if being a ghost makes you crazy.
"You're insane." Avery huffs, to which Derek laughs.
"Come on, Avery…Are you scared of a horror game?"
Avery wishes he could wipe the smug look right off Derek's face. He flinches as the noise suddenly echoes again, while Derek only tilts his head toward the sound.
"I'm not scared! He lies, "I'm just…cautious, y'know? Because you're…in the game and all. I don't want anything to happen to you!"
It was part excuse, and mostly real concern.
Avery doesn't know how ghosts work, especially computer-bound ones! What if whatever entity in the game could actually hurt Derek? Can he even feel pain? Plus, who even knows how respawning works…
Avery looks back at his screen only for Derek to be gone.
"Derek— What are you doing!?"
"If you won't play the game then I will, Aves. It'll be fine."
Avery immediately tries to follow Derek, but none of his keys move him forward…He button-mashes, opens and closes the window, he tries everything before he realizes something: Derek was the character he was controlling. There's nothing to control anymore if Derek just went off by himself.
"Der, don't do anything stupid—"
Avery suddenly hears a crash, a noise so loud that he has to check and make sure it didn't come from his own apartment. His eyes dart from his bedroom door to his computer screen…
The game looks…different in ways that it shouldn't be.
A side table is knocked over, a painting is now askew on the wall, the contents of a drawer have spilled onto the floor…And Derek is still nowhere to be seen.
Derek is gone and Avery really wishes that this game had a map…
He tries calling for Derek a few times and is greeted with silence.
"Der?"
"Derek, you find something?"
"You can come out if you're hiding! Or I can just close the game if you want—"
His computer completely shuts off.
Avery spends the next few minutes trying and failing to turn the device back on, only for it to flicker to life for a few seconds and immediately go dark again.
It takes half an hour for the computer to finally light up again. The game from before is gone, or at least it looks like it. Avery soon realizes that the icon has just been moved to the very edge of the screen.
The notepad suddenly opens, a wall of text unfurls before Avery's eyes.
Avery
Avery
I saw it
I saw the gates, Avery
I'm sorry I ran
I saw the gates again, Avery
It doesn't make sense, they weren't supposed to be there
They were there because I was there, Avery
I'm sorry.
…The gates?
Avery can panic later. He can think of everything and worry all he wants when Derek can't see him…He has to find Derek, he needs to find his ghost.
"I- It's fine, Der…We can talk about it later. Just- Where are you?" Avery asks, already clicking around his computer in search of Derek's sprite.
Avery doesn't get an answer; he already assumed that he wouldn't.
He eventually checks his recycle bin, frowning as he sees the sprite file. Avery restores the file to his computer, watching as Derek appears on top of the notepad.
"Derek…" Avery mumbles…What else is he to do?
Derek looks over at Avery, a small exclamation mark appearing over his helmet.
Avery?
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have picked the game.
I'm sorry, Avery.
Avery's frown only deepens as he reads through the new apologies.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Der…If anything, I should be sorry for even downloading the game!" Avery says.
But I chose to go off without you.
Avery,
The gates wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me.
I'm
"If you say you're sorry again I'll…turn the computer off."
It's a weak threat and Avery knows it. He already knows that Derek would try to communicate through the TV or the microwave if Avery went through with it.
But, Avery,
I can just go somewhere else,
Like your phone
?
"I— I know that!" His eyes dart around the desktop, looking everywhere except for at Derek, "Which is why you shouldn't be sorry, because I'm sure the gates would've appeared no matter what game we picked."
But why did the gates appear? And what scared Derek so much that he had to shut up the computer? Something as "simple" as the gates would've probably just made Derek rush back to Avery…
"So…We'll just play another game! One that isn't scary, but also makes you look cool again." A smile returns to Avery's face; he has dozens of non-scary games on his computer.
A small part of him wonders how character customization would work with Derek's sprite…That's the next thing on his list, right after cheering Derek up, of course.
Are you sure, Aves?
I don't want to mess things up again.
Avery laughs, already searching for the next game.
"I'm absolutely sure. You won't mess things up, I promise." Avery says, "Just…tell me if you plan on running off again, 'kay?"
The game finally loads. Avery starts dragging Derek's sprite toward the menu screen.
Fine.
Avery
Do not Drag me
>:(
"Huh? But you were so excited for me to literally drop you the other day!" Avery grins, dropping Derek's sprite into the game.
Derek turns away at the reminder of yesterday and crosses his arms; an animation that Avery has never seen from the sprite before.
"Wait— Awww, you look so mad at me!" Avery teases.
Derek's cape swishes dramatically as he looks over at Avery, affected by the simulated wind on the game's title screen.
I do not look mad, Avery.
"You so do, man…You should see yourself right now— Wait, can you see yourself" Avery trails off as he starts to think.
Avery,
I do not look mad.
At all.
"You do."
Don't.
"Do."
Just
Just start the game already :(
Avery gasps as he sees the very fake frown appear onscreen.
"You can't guilt trip me with your sad emoticons, that's evil!" He laughs.
Now look who's mad
:)