Chapter Text
College was notoriously a time for life's greatest triumphs, but also life's greatest embarrassments. One could end the year being the first in their family to earn a master's degree while also being the first in their family to earn the frat record for the most body shots.
One, like Xie Lian, could be working on his master's— making his late parents proud— while simultaneously being known around campus as a broke, clumsy virgin who has never so much as held a girl's hand at the ripe age of twenty six.
It wasn't like this when Xie Lian was in his freshman year. He'd been popular around campus, invited to every party and every frat begged him to join because he was popular with girls, though he showed no interest in them outside of friendship. Then, his parents died and he fell into a deep depression and those connections he made around campus soon dissolved until he was on his lonesome.
Eventually he was able to reconcile with his best friends from High School, Mu Qing and Feng Xin. They had been going through a lot too, at the time, and hadn't had the mental and emotional capabilities of dealing with anyone's problems but their own. But they all grew, they all healed. Xie Lian also found a friend in Shi Qingxuan, who transferred the year before and was immediately wildly popular around campus, though they insisted no matter how many friends they had, Xie Lian was always going to be their best friend.
Then, of course, there was Hua Cheng.
He was a freshman majoring in art that immediately caught the attention of half the campus with his tall, elegant figure and sharp smile. However, he still answered to Xie Lian's ad for a roommate rather than live in the dorms, which baffled most of the campus. More than that, he began to completely ignore anyone that was rude to Xie Lian, or worse, outright be hostile to them. His popularity took a quick nosedive until no one dared speak to him just a few months into his college years. He didn't seem to care, however, and seemed to reserve his kindness for Xie Lian alone.
It was sweet, though baffling.
Xie Lian sighed as he unlocked the door to their shared apartment. "San Lang? I'm home!"
"Gege," Hua Cheng greeted, looking up from his laptop. He was splayed on the couch, one leg tucked under the other while he propped his laptop on his knee. His black hair was pulled back into a loose bun at the nape of his neck. Two dark eyes met his own and Xie Lian felt his lips curl into an involuntary smile.
Hua Cheng had quickly became Xie Lian's best friend, somehow even closer than Shi Qingxuan. There was something about him that put Xie Lian's whole body and mind at ease and their conversations were always flowing endlessly, from info-dumps about the most random of topics, to martial arts, to art and literature… everything. Xie Lian would've never thought he'd find such a compatible companion in someone seven years his younger but Hua Cheng was just so… different than everyone else.
"Studying hard, I see," Xie Lian said as he hung his bag on the hook by the door.
"Mn, I have a test coming up," Hua Cheng told him.
"Hopefully it's not handwritten," Xie Lian teased. Hua Cheng was very good at a lot of things, a complete renaissance man. However, his handwriting was absolutely horrific. He'd gotten a tattoo just around a month prior and it was in his own handwriting… Xie Lian had no clue what it said and thought it'd be rude to ask so he'd just vaguely said it looked nice, earning a laugh from Hua Cheng.
"I'll disappoint gege, it's multiple choice," Hua Cheng said in response. He closed his laptop and stood, stretching. Xie Lian's eyes drifted to where his shirt rode up, exposing smooth pale skin and the lines of his lower abs.
Another one of life's greatest embarrassments, broke clumsy virgin Xie Lian had a crush on his much younger and insanely sexy roommate. Did that make him a pervert? He wasn't sure but he knew the odds weren't in his favor. Just about the same odds as the man so attractive it was actually lethal liking Xie Lian in response. He averted his eyes, ashamed of the blush that crept onto his face.
"It's for the best," Xie Lian said, managing a laugh. "Did you still want to watch a movie later or are you going to be busy studying?"
"No I was just finishing up," Hua Cheng said, smiling. "I wouldn't miss movie night with gege."
"Yeah yeah," Xie Lian sighed, walking to his bedroom while he took off his coat. He left the door open as he quickly changed into something more comfortable. "Don't let your GPA suffer for something silly. If you need to study I'd rather you study."
"I've already studied," Hua Cheng said from the doorway, watching him with dark eyes. Xie Lian was still shirtless but paid it no mind. They were both guys, after all.
After he found an oversized hoodie, he pulled it over his head. It draped over the top of his shorts, giving the appearance of not wearing anything underneath but it was fine, Hua Cheng knew he had shorts. "Alright, as long as you've studied. I'm ready when you are."
Movie night was a ritual at this point. Every Friday night the two of them would use a randomizer to pick a movie. Any genre, any language, any length. The rules were that there was no backing out of the randomized movie, no turning it off, and absolutely no looking the movie up except to stream it. Sometimes they found the movies entertaining, sometimes they were genuine masterpieces and hidden gems, but most of the time the two of them would be nearly doubled over in laughter at just how horrible the movie is. It was fun and it was something that was just for the two of them.
"Alright," Hua Cheng said, holding up his phone to show Xie Lian the movie the randomizer landed on. "Pull this up while I go grab snacks?"
Xie Lian did as he was told, still mildly surprised that a man Hua Cheng's age was completely okay with his phone being unlocked around others, as if there was nothing to hide. Well, there may not be. Hua Cheng didn't seem interested in dating or doing anything other than pursuing his education, painting and sculpting at his art studio, and hanging out with Xie Lian.
After he looked up the movie, he moved to close out the tab on Hua Cheng's phone to conserve his battery life and thus accidentally saw all the tabs at once. His texts from earlier with Xie Lian still open, his Instagram hovering over a picture Xie Lian posted the day before on his timeline, and his photo gallery which had a singular picture of Hua Cheng posing in the mirror, shirtless in nothing but a towel. With a blush, Xie Lian closed the tabs quickly and sat down Hua Cheng's phone.
No. Absolutely not. He didn't mean to invade Hua Cheng's privacy to begin with, much less be a creep about what he saw. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Hua Cheng shirtless! It wasn't any different if he was still wet from the shower in that picture, with his wet hair dripping down sculpted abs, leading down to his happy trail, and disappearing under the towel… Xie Lian covered his face. No. No. No. Don't go there.
Then, another thought occurred to him. Did he… take that picture for someone? Xie Lian always assumed Hua Cheng didn't date because he never brought anyone home but now that he thought about it, he could just as easily just go to their dorm or apartment instead. Hua Cheng was always so considerate of Xie Lian's comfort, he would definitely view taking his hookups to their shared apartment as an invasion of space! The thought curled in his stomach like soured milk.
Hua Cheng returned with the promised snacks and they started the movie. If Hua Cheng noticed that Xie Lian was uncharacteristically quiet, he didn't comment. The movie was about two men who were best friends since childhood and happened to be roommates and seemed to be some sort of slice of life film, which was pleasant. The scenes were beautifully framed, the colors saturated, and the acting superb. All in all, it seemed like a solid film.
"Ah, its gay," Hua Cheng commented after a while. "I was thinking they were a bit close to be just friends."
Xie Lian was transfixed on the TV, watching the taller man brush the short man's hair back from his face as he confessed. They had around the same height difference as himself and Hua Cheng. He subconsciously glanced over at his roommate and they locked eyes. Embarrassed, Xie Lian looked away, clearing his throat. "Yes, clearly there was something there."
The two men on screen kissed and Xie Lian felt his face heat, watching with open curiosity as the two began tearing at one another's clothes and making their way to the bedroom. He bit his lip subconsciously, his legs shifting as he watched them make love. Unlike most movies, this film didn't silence the sex scene with slow-mo shots or music, this was raw. Real. Their living room was filled with the sounds of moans and grunts as the two men on screen went at it with fervent passion. Xie Lian suddenly realized he had a whole different problem.
Hua Cheng must've noticed the way he tensed because he reached over to grab the remote from where it sat on Xie Lian's lap… and his hand wrapped around something else entirely. He didn't pull immediately but after a moment he grabbed the remote and paused the movie. "Gege… are you…"
Xie Lian couldn't take it anymore and moved to bolt from the room but Hua Cheng caught his wrist. "Gege, calm down… it's a natural reaction." He was shaking, his face flaming. He couldn't look Hua Cheng in the eyes, nor his general direction, from sheer embarrassment. It hadn't been the movie that had made him this way. He'd been so engrossed in the movie, he'd begun imagining it was himself and Hua Cheng! If he wasn't a creep before, he certainly felt like one now!
"Hey sit down, we have our rules, remember?" Hua Cheng coaxed, gently pulling him to his seat.
Xie Lian still wasn't looking at him and began whispering sutras under his breath like he normally does, willing his erection down.
Hua Cheng's chuckle rang in his ears like bells in the otherwise silent room. "Gege, what are you doing?"
"This is how I make it go away," Xie Lian said, crossing his arms and curling in on himself. "I've never told anyone that I'm gay, nor indulged in it."
"You told me, just now," Hua Cheng said, sounding amused. "Me too, by the way."
"You are?" Xie Lian finally looked at him, his flush was creeping down his chest at this point. "I suppose we find out things about one another all the time, even still," he tried to joke.
Hua Cheng was staring at him, his eyes dark. "So you just try to make it go away? Why not indulge?"
"I don't know," Xie Lian confessed. "I just… feel dirty."
Hua Cheng's voice was soft and coaxing for the first half of what he said next, settling Xie Lian's nerves tenfold, but the next thing he said held such raw command that settled into Xie Lian's skin like fire and made Xie Lian feel as if his face was about to explode from humiliation. "There's nothing dirty about love nor pleasure, gege," Hua Cheng said. "Take care of it the right way."
"The right way?" he echoed, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah. Touch yourself." That command still tainted Hua Cheng's voice combined with his dark eyes reflecting Xie Lian's meek figure felt almost sinister. Xie Lian shivered.
"Alright I'll be back then-"
"Here."
Xie Lian gaped at him, his mouth opened in shock. "Touch myself here?"
"Rules are rules, gege," Hua Cheng said, pressing play on the movie and resuming the loud sex scene that had Xie Lian worked up to begin with. His voice switched back to that strange smooth and coaxing voice he'd used in the beginning. The whiplash made Xie Lian's cock pathetically twitch in his shorts. "Touch yourself. It's just me here and we're best friends. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."
Xie Lian reached into his shorts with trembling fingers.
"Take your clothes off," the commanding tone was back and Xie Lian closed eyes and bit his lip. "Don't make a mess."
Hua Cheng watched him in silence, his eyes growing impossibly more dark, as Xie Lian obediently removed his hoodie and then his shorts. He didn't make any further comment as Xie Lian sat down and touched his cock with his still-trembling hand and begin to gently tug.
Broke clumsy virgin Xie Lian had never so much as held a girl's hand. Nor a guy's hand. Never been kissed. He'd also never actually masturbated save for some clumsy rubbing here and there. He'd always had male friends and he knew via 'locker room talk' and jokes how this was supposed to work but he had always relied on his sutras and a cold shower to will down his erections. Touching himself had always seemed so… dirty, somehow.
"Gege, you're doing it wrong," Hua Cheng said suddenly. He paused the movie and shifted closer on the couch, his hand hovering above where Xie Lian was clutching his own cock. "May I?"
May he what!? Touch Xie Lian's dick!? Xie Lian didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Of course he's so pathetic that Hua Cheng finally offers to touch him purely out of pity because he's so repressed he doesn't even know how to masturbate properly!
However, Hua Cheng was Hua Cheng and he was, of course, free to touch Xie Lian wherever and however he wanted and Xie Lian would selfishly let him. "Y-Yes," he whispered.
"Lean back against the arm of the couch, gege, and relax" Hua Cheng told him, shifting with Xie Lian to move with him. Xie Lian settled into position and Hua Cheng gripped his knees and spread them apart to crawl between. Like this, himself naked while Hua Cheng was fully clothed, was humiliating but also… exhilarating somehow. Like he was giving Hua Cheng some sort of control and power over himself.
Hua Cheng touched him and he whimpered before covering his face. It felt so good, so strange, and so humiliating all at once. Was it supposed to be like this!? How could it be like this!?
"Don't cover your face, gege," his voice held that command. "It's just me here," now it was coaxing.
Xie Lian's chest heaved and tears gathered in his eyes but he obediently moved his hands away from his face, unsure what to do with them. He watched Hua Cheng's hand work over his cock, his eyes burning with humiliation as he felt pressure building up in his lower abdomen. Of course, he'd be a short trigger!
"Such a pretty little cock, gege," Hua Cheng commented, smirking. "What a shame you don't touch it more often. I'd touch it daily if I possessed such a pretty thing like you." Xie Lian's brain short-circuited. You!? WHO!? HIS COCK!?
He couldn't think on it much longer because he spilled onto Hua Cheng's hand with a soft moan before sinking down against the couch, breathing heavily. He watched Hua Cheng hold his cum-covered hand up and run his tongue through the white liquid. "So sweet," he sighed. He held his hand out to Xie Lian. "Lick it up."
Xie Lian was getting whiplash from his changes in tone but dutifully, confusedly, crawled forward on his knees and began lapping his cum off of Hua Cheng's hand. It was most definitely not sweet and tasted salty. Was this the norm? Xie Lian always assumed it was something to be wiped up with a tissue or something. Though, Hua Cheng clearly knew better so Xie Lian was content to follow his lead. His lashes fluttered against his flushed cheeks as he worked, unaware of the hunger in the other man's gaze as he watched him. By the time he looked up, it was gone and Hua Cheng was smiling at him.
"Do you feel good, gege?" he asked.
"Yes," Xie Lian admitted.
"Now help me," Hua Cheng said, pulling Xie Lian forward to tumble into his lap, his hand on the prominent bulge in his pants. "It's only fair, since I helped you, right?"
"Wasn't I doing it wrong?" Xie Lian asked. However he still obediently worked at the button and zipper of Hua Cheng's jeans.
"That was me teaching you," Hua Cheng said, his voice teasing as if he already knew the answer. "Don't tell me you didn't pay attention?"
"I did," Xie Lian insisted. It was a lie. He hadn't. Not really. It was all too overwhelming.
"Prove it," Hua Cheng said, spreading his legs wide and placing a hand on Xie Lian's lower back, his fingers bordering on touching Xie Lian's ass. "Show me what you learned." He helped Xie Lian release his erection from the confines of his jeans and Xie Lian's mouth ran dry as his eyes finally saw just what that sinful happy trail led down to.
The humiliating commentary on the size of Xie Lian's cock now felt very warranted. Surely an erection that large left a man lightheaded? He thought of what he just watched, how he imagined it to be himself and Hua Cheng… how could it fit inside him? Wouldn't it hurt?
Hua Cheng guided his hand to touch it and Xie Lian gasped, not noticing the way Hua Cheng's body tensed at the touch. He worked his hand over the impressive length with a tentative hand, attempting to recall what Hua Cheng had done to him. After a few minutes Hua Cheng huffed a small laugh and covered Xie Lian's hand with is own. His much larger hand enveloped Xie Lian's, calloused fingertips scratching at soft smooth skin as he whispered corrections in Xie Lian's ear, his hot breaths making him shiver. "Grip tighter, gege… yeah like that… faster… fuck, just like that, gege. You're doing so well…"
Hua Cheng eventually released in Xie Lian's hand, which further humiliated Xie Lian about how shamefully quickly he'd released under Hua Cheng's touch. Xie Lian automatically began lapping at Hua Cheng's spend that coated his hand, as Hua Cheng had told him to earlier with his own release. The hand Hua Cheng had resting on his lower back tensed, nearly bruising as it dug into his skin. Xie Lian gave him a questioning look, whimpering at the pain. His pink tongue was coated in white, still poking past his lips. Hua Cheng's eyes were dark as Xie Lian's tongue disappeared between his lips to swallow it down.
"Sorry, gege," Hua Cheng said, clearing his throat. His eyes were dark but glinting in the low lighting of the living room. "Finish cleaning up and we'll continue the movie."
Xie Lian did as he was told and moved to grab his hoodie as Hua Cheng pressed play but Hua Cheng grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to take a seat, their thighs touching. He was still fully clothed while Xie Lian was naked. "I'm cold," he pointed out.
Hua Cheng reached for a lap blanket and pulled it over the two of them before halfway pulling Xie Lian in his lap, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. "Do you feel warm now, gege?"
"Yes?" Xie Lian said, though it sounded more like a question. What was wrong with him putting his hoodie back on!?
"It's good to cuddle a bit after masturbating," Hua Cheng explained, pulling him closer and resting a hand on his bare waist, splaying his fingers across Xie Lian's stomach. "It's good for regulation."
Xie Lian had never heard of that, but then again, he hadn't ever truly masturbated and Hua Cheng obviously knew better than him so he sunk against Hua Cheng's embrace. "Thank you for teaching me, San Lang… I hope that wasn't uncomfortable for you."
Hua Cheng laughed. "Of course not, gege, it's just us. Nothing could ever be embarrassing between us."
Yeah, because Hua Cheng didn't view it the way Xie Lian did. He truly was helping his friend out while Xie Lian selfishly let his best friend play into his own depraved fantasies, having no idea that Xie Lian felt such things for him. Xie Lian felt disgusted with himself for that but he knew, deep down, that if Hua Cheng wanted to touch him he'd allow it, no matter what.
Even if Hua Cheng was seeing someone else.
Did that make him a bad person?
"Unbelievable," Shi Qingxuan said. They were uncharacteristically serious. "There's no way the two of you don't have anything going on. I see the way he's been looking at you lately. Why are you lying to me, your best friend!?
"Believe it," Xie Lian responded, his voice dry and sarcastic. He wasn't technically lying. Nothing was actually going on. Well, nothing actually romantic. There had been something going on in his shared apartment with his roommate that wasn't worth speaking of, both out of privacy and embarrassment. How does one admit they've touched a guy's dick but haven't ever been kissed? Insanity. It would be insanity to admit that.
Shi Qingxuan flicked their fan, frowning. "I still think you're lying."
"Maybe help me carry these books instead of asking about my nonexistent sex life?" Xie Lian asked, his forehead breaking out in a sweat. While he was generally strong, this stack of books was an awkward height in proportion to his own height and he'd been carrying them for quite a while.
"I just got my nails done," Shi Qingxuan whined. "They're stiletto tips!"
Xie Lian sighed, adjusting his grip on the stack of books stacked nearly to his chin. "Why would you get stiletto tips? Wouldn't that poke you when you…?" he trailed off, too shy to say the end of that sentence in public. While Xie Lian spent a lot of time in his innocent little bubble, Shi Qingxuan decidedly had not, and they made sure Xie Lian always got the details.
"I now have someone to handle that for me."
"Oh? Who? Is he hot?"
Before Shi Qingxuan could respond, Xie Lian stumbled. He clutched his textbooks tight as he fell, unwilling to cope with the possibility of having to pay out of pocket for more out of his already-tight budget, even at the cost of his body being harmed in the process.
Before the ground met him, he was caught by strong, familiar hands. "Gege, why are you carrying so many books? That's far too heavy," Hua Cheng said. He gave Xie Lian a moment to stand upright and took the stack of books from him as if they weighed nothing. Which, it probably helped that the books barely stacked midway up his chest while that same stack was nearly covering part of Xie Lian's face. "Who is hot?"
"Who is hot?" Xie Lian asked, confused. When he'd fallen, he'd forgotten what he was even talking about before.
Hua Cheng smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "That's what I was asking you, gege."
"Oh! Shi Qingxuan was telling me about a guy is all," Xie Lian said. He stretched out his sore arms, not noticing the change in expression on his roommate's face when he twisted away while stretching his back. When he turned back to Hua Cheng, he was still smiling.
"He is hot," Shi Qingxuan spoke up. "Are you two doing anything later? I can introduce you to him, Lian-gege."
"We have movie night," Hua Cheng spoke up. He was referring to regular movie night, not special movie night. In this case, they pick a movie together.
"Oh! We do!" Xie Lian agreed, smiling. "Star Wars."
"Nerds," Shi Qingxuan said, checking their phone. "Alright, maybe Saturday we can all have dinner and maybe hit some clubs? I'll introduce him to you then."
"Of course!"
"Sure."
"Why are you bringing so many books home anyways?" Hua Cheng asked as Xie Lian unlocked the door to their apartment.
"Oh, I don't have classes or work for a few days so I figured I can catch up on homework and studying," Xie Lian said, grinning. He worked part time at a coffee shop to keep up with his everyday expenses and additional education expenses while his tuition was paid for with the money his parent's left him when they passed.
"Assuming you don't get distracted at the gym," Hua Cheng began to tease.
"San Lang~"
"… or at the dojo or get kidnapped by Shi Qingxuan or-"
"I will focus, San Lang," Xie Lian laughed, taking half the books out of his roommate's hands and heading toward his own bedroom. He sat the stack down on his desk and Hua Cheng did the same.
"Maybe I can get some homework done before we watch our movie?" Xie Lian suggested, mostly to himself. He moved to grab a book from the stack and Hua Cheng placed his hands on the desk, bracketing Xie Lian in. "San Lang?"
"Is Shi Qingxuan introducing you to someone?" Hua Cheng asked.
"No," Xie Lian laughed, turning to face Hua Cheng. This close, their height difference felt more overwhelming. "Not like that! They're introducing me to their new boyfriend. Don't be silly, San Lang." He was still laughing as he brought a book, notebook, and pen into the living room. Their apartment was small but Hua Cheng had insisted on a sectional, even bankrolling the cost after selling one of his sculptures, and Xie Lian had to admit it was a good idea, even if it took up most of the living room. Xie Lian could sit any way he chooses to do his homework and there was always plenty of room, even when friends came over. And also… it left the two of them plenty of room for whatever had been going on the last few months.
Hua Cheng sat with him, only inches away, and began scrolling his phone while Xie Lian worked. "Gege."
"Hmm?" Xie Lian asked. He was subconsciously chewing on the end of pencil as he cross-referenced the answer to his question in the book.
"I'm tense," he said.
That got Xie Lian's attention and he looked up from his homework, the end of the pen still in his mouth. "Right now?"
Hua Cheng nodded, closing his phone. He pulled Xie Lian's pen out of his hand before guiding it to the bulge in his jeans. "Help me, gege?"
"San Lang," Xie Lian sighed as his best friend began tugging at his clothes. "Are you trying to avoid working on your homework again?"
"I'd much rather having you working my cock than be working on anything else," Hua Cheng responded, pulling the now naked Xie Lian onto his lap to straddle him while facing him. That was answer enough. "I'll play with yours too gege, you know that."
"I do know that," Xie Lian admitted softly. He hissed as Hua Cheng touched him teasingly before letting go, still not accustomed to these sensations the other man gave him.
"Have you ever thought of fingering yourself?" Hua Cheng asked him suddenly.
Xie Lian nearly choked. "What!?" he asked, gobsmacked.
"Fingering yourself," Hua Cheng repeated, his voice taking on that coaxing tone he had begun to use entirely too often on Xie Lian… although it admittedly worked every time. "It'll feel good for you."
"Do you do that?" he asked, biting his lip.
"Guess," Hua Cheng said, tilting his head. So that was a no. Why would he be suggesting Xie Lian do it, then!?
Nonetheless, when Hua Cheng procured a bottle of lube that Xie Lian hadn't seen before, he was unsurprised. Sometimes Hua Cheng would get it in his head to give Xie Lian a 'lesson' and he'd make sure he'd get Xie Lian exactly where he wants him and Xie Lian would fall for it every time.
Xie Lian allowed Hua Cheng to squirt the lube onto his fingers before he reached down and entered himself with one finger, gasping at the intrusion. It felt… okay. It wasn't painful, per say, and wasn't exactly pleasurable either. "San Lang… I'm not sure…"
"Play around with yourself. Explore. Don't let it just sit there," Hua Cheng said one of his hands moving to grip Xie Lian's ass cheeks to spread it apart from the other, as if to give Xie Lian better access.
Doing as he was told, Xie Lian began thrusting that singular digit in and out of himself, softly panting. It was beginning to feel different… good.
"Add another finger," Hua Cheng ordered, noticing the change in Xie Lian's expression. "Don't be so shy about it. There's nothing wrong with feeling good."
Absolutely! No argument there! However, there had to be something wrong with being splayed out over your best friend's lap fingering yourself while he watches you, his hand idly stroking his own cock while your neglected cock drips pre-cum onto his.
"San Lang? Can you take your shirt off?" Xie Lian blurted.
Hua Cheng raised an eyebrow. "So bold, gege."
"I don't want to drip on your shirt," Xie Lian muttered, his eyelashes quivering against his cheeks as he avoided looking at Hua Cheng's gaze.
"Drip on whatever you like, gege," Hua Cheng said, but he took his shirt off regardless. "Look at me, gege," Hua Cheng said, pulling Xie Lian's hand to touch his chest. "And touch all you want."
"You can touch too, then," Xie Lian said. He added the second finger as he was told, hissing at the difference in stretch. He wanted to touch Hua Cheng's chest but he was much too consumed in his task to do anything but rest his hand there, where it was placed.
"How does it feel?" Hua Cheng asked him. Two of his fingers slid down to dip in between his cheeks, brushing against the fingers that pumped in and out of Xie Lian's hole.
"Weird… but slightly good?" Xie Lian said, frowning. "Am I doing it wrong?"
"I can't see what your fingers are doing inside, gege," Hua Cheng teased. "Pull out. Let me show you how to do it properly."
Hesitantly, Xie Lian pulled out his fingers, blushing as Hua Cheng lubed up his own. Hua Cheng brought that now-free hand to his own cock. "I'm helping you so you help me. It's only fair, right?" Xie Lian nodded and began stroking him obediently, tensing when he felt unfamiliar fingers at his entrance. "Relax, gege, I'm showing you how to feel good."
Xie Lian gasped as Hua Cheng's much longer, calloused fingers breached him. "San Lang," his voice was nothing but a shaking breath as he buried his face in his best friend's neck, his back shuddering as his legs all but gave out beneath him, leaving him fully sitting on Hua Cheng's lap. His fingers had felt good but Hua Cheng's were so different, touching much deeper inside of himself, searching as if Hua Cheng was seeking something specific. Another finger was added and Xie Lian bit his lip clutching Hua Cheng's neck with one hand and working Hua Cheng's cock with the other, his movements clumsy and distracted, though Hua Cheng didn't seem to mind.
Suddenly those fingers curled inside him, as if beckoning, and Xie Lian felt a buzz up his spine as his toes curled. "Ah!"
"You like that, gege?" Hua Cheng asked him, stroking that bundle of nerves repeatedly as Xie Lian moaned helplessly in his lap. "Do my fingers feel good inside you?"
"Mhmm," was all Xie Lian could say, too overwhelmed to think properly, much less speak. This was simply two of Hua Cheng's fingers and he was taking Xie Lian apart, turning into a sweaty moaning mess… what would his cock feel like inside? It was so big, what could it touch inside of Xie Lian that even Hua Cheng's fingers couldn't reach…
Hua Cheng grabbed Xie Lian's neglected cock and it only took a few tugs for him to come with a shudder, releasing all over Hua Cheng's chest. He whimpered as those fingers continued working inside of him, alternating between that sinful curling motion that was now so overstimulating it brought tears to Xie Lian's eyes and spreading his fingers apart, as if to stretch Xie Lian's hole wider… or to test just how wide it can stretch.
Xie Lian worked his own hand faster on Hua Cheng's cock, the motion lubricated by the lube that was previously on his fingers, as well as his own spend, and making squelching noises that made Xie Lian's ears grow hot with shame where he buried his face in the crook of Hua Cheng's neck. It wasn't long after that Hua Cheng came, his own spend mixing with Xie Lian's on his chest.
He removed his fingers from Xie Lian's hole and Xie Lian backed up on shaking knees to begin licking their mixed release from Hua Cheng's chest while Hua Cheng silently brushed Xie Lian's hair long from his face, keeping it out of the mess. Afterwards, he laid back against Hua Cheng's chest, still shuddering as Hua Cheng pulled a blanket over the two of them and turned on the movie.
Xie Lian was asleep before the opening credits even finished rolling.
Xie Lian handed the customer their coffee with a smile before his eyes lit up at the familiar figure entering the cafe. "San Lang!" he called.
"Hello, gege," Hua Cheng said. "I'll take a black coffee and an americano."
"Two coffees?" Xie Lian laughed. "Are you especially tired?"
"Oh no, one is for someone else," Hua Cheng said vaguely. "He's running late and is always too broke to buy his own anyways so why not?"
Xie Lian's heart froze but he forced himself to not drop the smile on his face. "A friend of yours?" He wasn't even aware Hua Cheng had other friends.
Hua Cheng smirked. "I wouldn't exactly call him a friend."
Oh.
Xie Lian nodded, his ears hot. "Alright, your total is…" he moved through the rest of the transaction on autopilot. Even accidentally giving Hua Cheng his customer service 'come back again' line while handing him the two coffees.
Hua Cheng snorted out a laugh at that before exiting the shop. Xie Lian watched through the shop window as a man ran up to Hua Cheng, clearly nervous. He was handsome enough, though not handsome enough to stand out, average height, slender, and with long dark hair pulled in a loose braid. Hua Cheng just grinned at the guy and handed him the coffee before he set off. The guy followed, stepping into pace with Hua Cheng as if they walked together often.
Remarkably, Xie Lian made it through the rest of his shift without crying or making a scene. As soon as he clocked out he all but ran to Shi Qingxuan's dorm rather than his own apartment.
Shi Qingxuan frowned when they opened the door. "Lian-gege? What's wrong!? Did someone hurt you!?"
"I think San Lang is seeing someone," he admitted miserably. "I saw them together today."
Rather than gloating about their being that something was going on between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, they just let Xie Lian in and grabbed him a bottled water while he caught his breath.
Xie Lian accepted the bottled water and chugged half of it, eyeing the newly made up half of the dorm… all black decor stood out grotesquely against the explosion of pastels on Shi Qingxuan's side. "New roommate?"
"Yes," Shi Qingxuan said, grinning. "He's the one I plan to introduce you to. He's so hot… like so hot, you wouldn't believe. And the way he fucks me- Oh! No! What's going on with you! I won't get distracted!"
Xie Lian couldn't help but smile at that as he sat down, though his smile dropped as he began to explain what was going on with Xie Lian and Hua Cheng the last few months.
"So let me get this straight," Shi Qingxuan said, tapping their fan they carried daily on their opposite hand in anger. "He's fooling around with you at home then seeing this mystery guy and sending him shirtless selfies!? What a douche!"
"He's not a douche," Xie Lian sighed. "He never told me he wanted anything more than this fooling around thing… I think I'm just conveniently there for when he's tense from school. He also teaches me stuff so I think to him, he's doing something kind for me… he'd never intentionally hurt me or lead me on."
"Even still, if he's fooling around with someone he should tell you! That guy could have something and Hua Cheng could pass it to you unintentionally and it wouldn't even be your fault!" Shi Qingxuan said, heated. "Ugh, I'm so pissed. You know what? Saturday, I'm bringing an extra hot guy for you. Fuck Hua Cheng, for-real."
"Oh, that's not necessary!" Xie Lian said quickly, waving his hands. "I don't want to cause unnecessary strife!"
"No, it's happening. Tell Hua Cheng he can invite his little boy toy or whatever. I bet you're way hotter than them, anyways!" Shi Qingxuan snapped, picking up their phone. "Don't worry, I'll bring a guy that won't expect anything untoward from you but will still be hot enough to make Hua Cheng squirm at the thought of losing you!"
Xie Lian was beginning to regret telling Shi Qingxuan. They were always in Xie Lian's corner, no matter what… but they were also hyper-protective.
The front door to the dorm opened and a tall man dressed in all black stepped in. He silently raised his eyebrow at the sight of Xie Lian.
"Xuan-gege!" Shi Qingxuan cooed, standing up and throwing their arms around his neck to give him a sloppy kiss, with clear intent for later. They pulled back and gestured to Xie Lian. "This is my best friend, Lian-gege! Lian-gege, this is He Xuan, my boyfriend!"
"Ah, you're Hua Cheng's Xie Lian, right?" He Xuan asked.
"Um… I am his best friend… yes?" Xie Lian answered, confused. Hua Cheng's Xie Lian!? What the hell was that supposed to mean!? "You know him?"
"We went to highschool together and I work at the art studio he paints at," He Xuan shrugged. "We go back."
"Have you seen a guy hanging around Hua Cheng that is kind of average height, pale, and has long black hair!?" Shi Qingxuan demanded of their boyfriend. "Xie Lian's description is giving emo, in my opinion, if that helps!"
"Yin Yu? Probably?" He Xuan said, shrugging.
"What is the nature of their relationship!?" Shi Qingxuan demanded.
He Xuan looked confused. "Hua Cheng says to do something and Yin Yu does it? What else would their relationship be like?"
Xie Lian thought about how Hua Cheng commanded him around when they touched one another and it was like a lead weight had dropped in his stomach. "Thank you, He Xuan… Xuan-didi, I'll see you Saturday, alright?" He brushed past the two of them without looking and left in a hurry, tears blurring his vision as he walked home.
Hua Cheng got home shortly after Xie Lian did. "Sorry, gege, I went over my normal time at the art studio. I have a gallery coming up and I need my exhibit to be perfect."
Despite the melancholy that currently enveloped Xie Lian's mood, he perked up at that. "You have your own exhibition coming up!? Why didn't you tell me!? That's amazing news!"
Hua Cheng blushed, actually blushed. "I… I don't think gege would be interested in it. Don't worry about it."
"Of course I'm interested!" Xie Lian insisted as Hua Cheng sat next to him and pulled his laptop from his bag. "When is it? I want to go! What is your theme?"
"It's next month, invite only, and the theme is…" he trailed off, clearing his throat. "It's invite only and it'll be a bunch of rich snobs. No need for gege to trouble himself."
"What's the theme?" Xie Lian laughed. "You didn't actually say."
"The theme is… My Beloved."
"My Beloved?" Xie Lian repeated. "As in…"
"As in someone who is dearly loved… worshiped, even," Hua Cheng explained, his face coloring. "Gege needn't worry about it. It's nothing, just a show for these rich scumbags to throw money at."
Xie Lian thought about the guy from earlier, Yin Yu, and felt his throat tighten. Oh. This was worse than he thought.
"It must be nice, to be someone's beloved," he said. He hadn't meant to say it out loud but it was out there now and he couldn't take it back.
"Is it truly a simple feeling or is it being on the receiving end of one's actions?" Hua Cheng responded. "Simply being someone's beloved isn't tangible… being the meaning for that other person's entire existence, however, probably feels more like hope."
"Well, I'd imagine that being someone's beloved is a feeling when they're being… you know, touched," Xie Lian said, his face growing hot. "Like, kissing, for instance… In books and movies when someone is deeply loved, it's shown through their kissing."
"I disagree, I think love is shown through actions. What do you do for your beloved that you'd do for no one else?" Hua Cheng was tilting his head and eyeing Xie Lian. "I don't think I would need to kiss my beloved for it to be obvious that I love him deeply and with my whole being." There it was, the admission that there indeed was such a person in his life.
"Who says it can't be both?" Xie Lian asked, feeling the need to argue with him. His blood was boiling mad-hot and the taste of vinegar soured his tongue. "I haven't ever been kissed or kissed anyone, but I feel like if I had such a person, I'd want to kiss them."
Hua Cheng's eyes were glinting when Xie Lian turned to look at him. "How are you going to do that when you don't know how to kiss?" Xie Lian's eyes widened at the audacious statement but Hua Cheng was already leaning in, wrapping a large hand around the back of Xie Lian's neck and pulling him forward and until their noses brushed. His breath ghosted Xie Lian's lips as he continued. "Let gege teach you."
"Who's the gege here?" Xie Lian asked, nervous but not pulling away. All of his anger was long-forgotten in this close proximity.
"I'm teaching you… I feel it's only right you call me 'gege,'" Hua Cheng said. "Ask me to teach you." That commanding tone… Xie Lian was helpless.
"Gege, teach me to kiss, please?" he asked, his eyes closing instinctively as Hua Cheng closed the distance as he spoke, barely letting him finish before their lips brushed, as soft as a butterfly's wing.
Hua Cheng pulled back but not far, cupping Xie Lians' face with both his hands. "What are you feeling, right now?"
"Like I want you to kiss me more?" Xie Lian whispered.
Their lips met again, more firm and insistent this time. Xie Lian's hands looped around Hua Cheng's neck as he was guided backwards to lay down on the couch, Hua Cheng in between his spread legs. He felt Hua Cheng's tongue touch his lips, insistent and he opened his mouth with a soft moan, letting Hua Cheng's tongue dominate the inside of his mouth.
The two made out for a long time, Hua Cheng eventually lining their erections up and frotting against him as they kissed languidly until they came together.
Later, in the aftermath, Xie Lian was pulled close to Hua Cheng's chest as they laid together on the couch— Xie Lian absorbed in a book as Hua Cheng scrolled his phone— Xie Lian felt a pang of guilt and shame.
What was he doing!? Wasn't Hua Cheng in love with someone already!? What sort of person was he, to want this with a man who already has someone.
Yet he couldn't bring himself to move, couldn't bring himself to speak up, to stop what has begun between the two of them.
He knew, deep down, that he'd clutch onto Hua Cheng as they spun out of control in this storm and he'd greedily, selfishly, take anything Hua Cheng would give him.