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“Hello, boys and girls. Have you been naughty?”
Phil’s mind short-circuited, and he almost choked on the drink he’d forgotten to swallow. He surely must’ve been dreaming, because there’s no way in hell that his former flatmate and gaming channel buddy had just walked into the room dressed up in a nun costume and a pair of vintage t-strap pumps.
“Sister Daniel is here to cleanse your sins,” Dan announced playfully as he wove through the crowd, hips swaying and heels echoing on the tiles. Not even the whoops, laughter, and whistling from the people in costumes could drown out the confident, rhythmic clack. Dan walked up to a woman dressed as a police officer, pulled her chair away from the table, and sat in her lap, prudishly snapping his fishnet-clad knees together.
“Officer! The girls in the convent are up to no good tonight. Please help!” Dan mewled, his tone sending tingles down Phil’s spine.
The woman screamed in delight, her fingers teasingly dancing up Dan’s thigh.
“Officer! You naughty girl. I’ll borrow these in case I need to teach you how God-fearing girls should behave,” Dan purred, snatching the plastic handcuffs from her belt. He swiftly got to his feet, pulling down the dangerously rolled-up skirt.
“What about you, fairy boy?” Dan drawled, leaning in and flicking one of Phil’s pointy ears. Phil flinched. “Would you like to smear some glitter all over my–oh my God, Phil?! Oh, oops, I blasphemed. But holy shit! Is that you?!”
Phil stared at Dan, his heart hammering somewhere in his throat, his dry mouth hanging open.
“Dan!” was all he managed to say.
“Yeah! How are you? And when did you go blond?!” Dan asked enthusiastically, dropping the slutty nun act and claiming the free chair next to Phil.
That question told Phil two things. One, Dan’s been keeping up with his work, just as Phil has been keeping up with Dan’s since they parted ways after the Interactive Introverts tour. And two, Dan’s interest, unlike Phil’s, was only occasional.
“Oh, um, about five months ago,” he said, carding his fingers through his hair. A speck of glitter landed on his nose.
Dan’s mouth stretched into a mesmerised smile.
“Oh, my God. Oh, shit, I did it again. For fuck’s sake. But Phil, you’re so pretty! The glitter really suits you.”
Phil laughed, flustered. “Thank you. Hey, can I get you a drink?”
“Mmm, getting a nun drunk? That’s a first-class ticket to hell, fairy boy,” Dan teased, back in character, and got to his feet. “Oh, wow, I’m showing a whole cheek here. Jesus doesn’t want to see that.” He quickly pulled the skirt down.
Phil laughed and led Dan through the crowd with a hand on his back just in case he needed support, but the younger man was steady and confident in those heels. Definitely not wearing them for the first time.
“Whose party is this, anyway?” Dan asked after they both ordered from a bartender in a cow jumpsuit.
“No clue. My housemates dragged me here. I wanted to edit a video,” Phil admitted.
Dan snorted. “Isn’t it funny that we’ve met somewhere neither of us wanted to go? I’m here with a friend, but…” Dan looked around. “They’re chatting up a Powerpuff Girl,” he added dryly.
“Oh, I know them both. I was going to say hi. Maybe later, then. So how have you been? I was really pleased to hear that your TV show is finally happening,” Phil prompted.
“Yeah,” Dan huffed. “After years of begging, crying, screaming and throwing up.” He sipped his pineapple mojito, smiling when Phil laughed.
Before Phil could say something positive and encouraging, a man in a Joker costume and with the half-smudged word “Damaged” written in eyeliner on his forehead stepped a bit too close.
“Hi, Phil. Or… Tinklester? Does that fairy costume come with a happy ending, or should I get you another drink?” he asked, sipping whatever was in his glass and flashing Phil an unbothered smile, though both Phil and Dan could tell he was quite drunk.
“Ewww!” Dan voiced so loudly a few people turned to them. “Jesus fuck, can you at least try to sound like a normal person?”
Phil couldn’t step away if he tried – the man effectively trapped him between the bar and a bar stool.
“Can you try to dress like a normal person?” the man retorted, turning to Dan. Phil tried to slip past him but couldn’t, as the barstool was firmly attached to the floor, and Dan didn’t miss the panic in his eyes.
“John, stop it, please,” Phil said, but the man paid him no attention.
“And what are you supposed to be, a douchebag in a purple coat?” Dan challenged, stepping closer and looking down at the man who was at least three inches shorter.
“I’m Jared Leto as the Joker,” the man said haughtily, frowning.
“Yeah, sure, it’s funnier when you explain it, good job,” Dan waved his hand dismissively. “Let’s go, Phil.” He pushed the man aside, grabbed Phil’s wrist, and, trying to locate familiar faces, dragged him into the crowd.
And then it went fast. John set after them and grabbed Phil, ripping his wings off. Dan stepped between them, yelling at the other man. John shoved Dan, knocking him off his feet. People gasped, someone screamed, and suddenly, Dan was being dragged out by security while Phil tried to explain what had happened to the guard dressed as a Greek god. Dan’s friend in a Cookie Monster costume and the Powerpuff Girl jumped on the Joker man, hitting him and cussing him out. The next thing they knew, all four of them were kicked out of the club. Phil’s housemates joined them shortly, laughing their asses off and clapping.
“Well done, guys. I’ve never seen that asshole put in his place like that,” one of them said. “So, afterparty at ours?”
Dan shivered when the cold autumn air crept up his exposed, sweaty thighs, his mood dropping low after the incident.
“I–I should probably go. I won’t be able to get home when it’s late. And, well, in this costume, um, you know.”
“Where do you guys live?” the Powerpuff Girl asked.
“Islington. We can take the tube,” Phil’s housemate said.
“Oh, no need. I’m not drinking tonight. I’m parking two streets over, and I’ll drive Dan home,” the Powerpuff Girl said.
“Awesome, let’s go!” Phil’s other housemate whopped.
Phil glanced at Dan uncertainly. “It’s okay if you want to go home, but… I’d love to catch up. You don’t have to drink or anything.”
Dan sighed. “I don’t know. I’m hungry, and cold, and–and dressed as a freaking nun.”
“We’ll feed you and give you a blanket, let’s go!” Phil’s positively wasted housemate hollered.
“Yeah. And look,” the other one said, pretending to dial on his phone. “Hello, convent? I was wondering, can Sister Daniel stay out and play a bit longer? Oh, really? Alright, thank you.” He slipped the phone back into his pocket. “They said the curfew is cancelled on Halloween, and they don’t want you back until 4AM.”
Dan couldn’t help but giggle and agree to go.
***
The house was nothing like Dan expected. It wasn’t Phil’s taste. By which he meant, though he didn’t say it out loud, that Phil could afford a much nicer place. He could have a whole house to himself, in fact. Dan had bought a flat in South London that year, after all, and they had similar numbers on YouTube.
The whole group filed into the spacious lounge-slash-kitchen, with worn leather sofas and a rough berber carpet. The unexpected change of texture almost sent Dan to the ground again. He tried to put the act back on, hoping it would lift his mood, but after a few steps, he gave up on looking seductive and focused on making it to the sofa uninjured instead. He sat down gingerly, careful not to show more than he wanted.
As he sank into the soft cushion, he finally realised how sore his feet were in those shoes. Someone put on 90s club techno, but he was not in the mood, already regretting going, even though he couldn’t wait to catch up with Phil.
“Come on, let’s dance, Sister!” One of Phil’s housemates pulled Dan to his feet, while the other poured drinks for everyone with Dan’s friend’s help.
“Uh, maybe–”
The rest of Dan’s sentence drowned in the loud music, and he would have stumbled and fallen as his vision blurred and his blood pressure dropped with the swift movement, but then Phil’s hand was on his back again, and the other helped the housemate steady him.
“Damn, sorry, mate, you’re alright?”
“It’s his blood pressure. He’s fine, but I’ll take him out for some fresh air,” Phil explained, leading Dan out through the back door, his hand still on Dan’s back.
“Alright. I’m ordering pizza,” the man called after them.
Outside, Dan took a few deep breaths of the chilly air and let Phil sit him down in one of the beach chairs on the patio.
“That was probably the first time you caught me,” Dan noted as Phil pulled another chair closer to him, got comfortable, and turned his whole body towards Dan.
“Maybe,” Phil laughed.
“Thanks for saving me, though.”
“Yeah. You didn’t look like you wanted to dance,” Phil mused. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to pressure you into coming.”
“No, I wanted to. I want to catch up. We shouldn’t have drifted apart like that. And… maybe we could hang out sometime,” Dan said but didn’t meet Phil’s eyes, his voice barely audible at the end.
A gust of cold wind swooshed through the garden, and Dan shuddered violently, wrapping his arms around himself for warmth.
“I’ll bring you a blanket,” Phil said softly.
Dan watched him close the door, then slipped out of his pumps and pulled his sore, cold legs up. Phil returned wearing a fleece and carrying a thick, fluffy throw and two drinks. He covered Dan’s body, tucking the faux fur around him tightly to protect him from the elements.
“Thank you,” Dan muttered, rubbing his itchy eye and smudging his eyeliner.
“It’s good to see you’re wearing eyeliner outside now,” Phil noted, settling back into his chair.
Dan nodded, grinning sheepishly. “Yeah. I’m… soft launching, I guess? It’s a part of the costume. But… well, you know.”
Phil smiled. He did know. Back when they lived together, Dan would put on makeup at home and then have a meltdown about wanting to wear it in public but being too scared of the reactions.
“What about the costume? Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d ever see you in a skirt and heels.”
“Yeah, well.” Dan blushed and looked away. “I’ve been experimenting. I bought this costume as a joke, and then…” He shrugged. “Had an awakening, I guess. Those shoes are terrible, though. My feet have never hurt this much.”
Phil chuckled. “Still, I’m glad you’re more comfortable expressing yourself,” he said seriously. “I wish I’d had a chance to tell you this earlier, but I’m really proud of you. You’ve come a long way, you know.” Phil smiled and gave Dan a gentle look. “When I saw your coming-out video, I cried for two hours. I was so happy for you.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Dan muttered, returning the smile. Phil squeezed his hand, and for a few minutes they sat in comfortable silence. Like they used to, years ago.
Dan sipped his drink. “Did you know that guy from the club?” he asked, trying not to sound jealous. He wasn’t jealous. He was fuming.
Phil sighed. “Yeah, unfortunately. He’s my ex.”
“Shit,” Dan muttered uneasily, sickened by the thought that this disrespectful, rough asshole had the privilege of knowing Phil so intimately yet treated him so awfully, if that night was anything to go by.
“Hmm. But it was a long time ago. Don’t worry about it.”
“He had no right to grab you like that and be so disgusting,” Dan insisted.
“Yeah,” Phil muttered, not feeling like getting into more detail.
Dan set his glass down and squeezed Phil’s hand.
“I mean it. You deserve so much better.”
“Thanks, Dan,” Phil whispered, smiling tightly. “For saying that and for standing up for me. I’m sorry you fell. He’s… like that.”
Dan frowned, wondering what treatment Phil was used to with that man and wanting to stab the bastard with the heels of his pumps.
Plip, plip, plip
“Uh, guess it’s time to go back inside,” Phil said after another half an hour of chatting and snapping pictures for Dan’s Instagram, as the first raindrops hit his skin.
“Yeah,” Dan agreed, grabbed his shoes, and together they rushed into the house. The music was still blasting, and open pizza boxes covered most of the kitchen counter. Dan was suddenly bothered by the music, the lights, and even Phil’s housemates, who seemed to be having a great time with a few more people Dan didn’t know. His social battery was dead, and he felt exposed and vulnerable in his costume.
“Should we take this upstairs? Maybe play Mario Kart in my room?” Phil offered, grabbing a box of pizza and a bottle of Ribena from the fridge. He was well aware of how Dan felt and knew the party was over for him.
“I… I should go home. Where’s the Powerpuff Girl?”
“Last time I saw her, she was doing tequila shots with the Cookie Monster and then they went upstairs,” someone nearby said.
“Great,” Dan muttered, his voice thick. “There goes my ride.” He looked at Phil with misery written all over his face, dreading the offer of a cab. Being alone in a car at nearly 3AM with a strange man and dressed as a nun sounded like the beginning of a particularly upsetting dream.
“You can stay,” Phil said. “Let’s go upstairs and figure it out, okay?”
Dan nodded and followed Phil to the second floor, feeling crumbs and specks of assorted dirt stick to his bare feet as he walked across the rough rug. Phil’s room was spacious and much nicer than the rest of the house. He had his filming station set up the same way Dan remembered, only now the bed was no longer in the frame. He’d also ditched the iconic bedsheets.
Amongst the countless plant pots, Dan recognised a few items from the past, especially those he’d gifted Phil. But he didn’t ask about any of them. What would he even say? Instead, when Phil offered, he stuffed his mouth with pizza. He’d been starving, and the pizza and Ribena managed to cheer him up a little.
“Phil, why do you live with housemates? You can totally afford a place of your own,” Dan noted when he was on his last slice.
“Yeah, well,” Phil muttered with his mouth full, chewed quickly and swallowed. “I don’t like living alone.”
“Oh,” Dan said, expecting a lengthier explanation from Phil, but decided not to pry. This John guy was somewhere in that story, and he didn’t want to force Phil to talk about him. “I bought a flat earlier this year.”
“I know. I saw the video,” Phil said, smiling. “Glad you covered the windows when you filmed the tour.”
Dan laughed. “I’ve learned my lesson for sure.” He yawned – eating burned the final bit of his energy. “So… how do we do this?”
“Erm, well,” Phil hesitated, “we don’t have a guest room.”
“So…”
“So, um… do you remember how we shared a bed on tour once?”
Dan snorted. “Jesus, Phil, you can just say it. We used to live together in a small flat. It’s not like there’s any mystery left between us.”
“Okay. You can stay in my room. N–normally I’d sleep on the sofa, but, well, there are strange men downstairs and I’m scared.”
“Yeah, okay,” Dan chuckled.
Phil left glitter all over the bathroom in his attempt to get clean, and while Dan showered and put on Phil’s white t-shirt and Minecraft pyjamas, Phil changed the bedding and fluffed up the pillows. There were giggles coming from the room across the hallway, but they both decided to ignore them and return to Phil’s room as quickly as possible.
Phil couldn’t take his eyes off Dan. The pyjamas made him look so different from the slutty nun with smudged makeup. Soft and tender. Someone to be pampered and cuddled. He smelled like Phil’s shampoo and his hair was damp.
Dan shivered. “Why is it so cold in here?”
“Oh. The heating is shit," Phil admitted. “But my duvet is really thick, you’ll be fine, I promise.
“Okay. Do you, um, have a hair dryer?”
“Sure. Sit down."
Dan did, and in that motion, Phil saw just how exhausted he was, already half-checked out for the night. He stared motionlessly at the filming set-up while Phil found the air dryer, plugged it in and turned it on. Only then did Dan turn his head and slowly reached for the device. Phil helped him, carding his fingers through the curls to speed up the process. And, well, so he could touch them.
“I really like the curls,” he said, unsure whether Dan heard him over the noise. If he did, he didn’t reply. When Dan’s hair was dry and fluffy like the lightest summer cloud, Phil pulled back the duvet and let Dan get comfortable before climbing in as well.
The first moments were awkward. Sure, they used to be attached at the hip for years, but that was a long time ago. They had both matured, and they hadn’t been in touch for years. But as Dan shuffled closer and looked up at Phil with those big brown eyes, all Phil saw was that 18-year-old boy who had come into his childhood bedroom to film a silly video and play video games with him. That boy Phil had a crush on but thought he was too young for him. And by the time he stopped feeling that way, it was too late to admit anything.
“Thank you for letting me stay,” Dan whispered when the room went dark.
“Of course,” Phil whispered back, not even realising his hand was touching Dan’s cheek until he felt the younger man’s smile stretch beneath his fingers.
“Phil, I’m still cold,” Dan broke the silence, which wasn’t nearly as comfortable as it had been earlier. The air between them grew heavy, and they were both hyper-aware of every inch of their bodies.
So Phil did the only thing he could. He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Dan’s torso, pressing him against his chest and, as best he could, covering Dan’s ice-cold feet with his own.
Dan exhaled shakily and tucked his face into the crook of Phil’s neck.
“Are you okay?” Phil asked, running his hand up and down Dan’s back.
Dan gulped. “Phil, can I tell you something?”
“Sure.”
“Promise you won’t kick me out and hate me?”
Phil pulled back to see Dan’s face. “What’s wrong, bear?”
Dan squeezed his eyes shut at that nickname. Every time Phil had called him that in the past, he thought maybe, just maybe… and then Phil had turned it into a joke.
“You know…”
“Yeah?” Phil prompted gently, his heart hammering so loud Dan must’ve heard it.
“I always liked you, Phil. You know? S–since the day we met. And… after the tour… I just had to get away or I’d fucking combust. I wanted you so bad it physically hurt. Explain that biology, am I right?”
“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” Phil whispered, his fingers sneaking around the back of Dan’s neck. “Come here, you stupid bitch.”
Dan gasped at the first touch of Phil’s plush, eager lips, but quickly returned the kiss. With a jolt of energy flashing through his body, he rolled on top of Phil, kissing him hungrily, tugging at his bottom lip and tangling their tongues as if he wasn’t quite convinced it was real. He grabbed a handful of Phil’s hair, moaning and rolling his hips as Phil’s soft fingers brushed his bare skin where the t-shirt had rolled up.
They broke the kiss, panting and flushed, staring at each other wide-eyed. Phil gently touched Dan’s face, smiling.
“I’m never letting you go again, okay?”
Dan nodded, his voice breaking as he spoke. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”