Chapter Text
Billy inhales bitter smoke from a cigarette and looks down at the open boot of his car. People around them sound like an inaudible buzz, like the random white noise you hear when telly goes static. There in a boot, not moving, his nemesis. His face broken, eyes bloodshot and mouth drooling.
“What are you gonna do with him?” The voice was almost stranger, Billy had another go at the cig.
“Are you really OK even being with him in the same space?” said another distant voice. Billy thinks he has won, but in truth he would never win. He can kill Homelander but as long as Vought stands, he is lost. They all lost.
“So, will you just kill him later? Butcher, just tell us what you are going to do?” Homelander looks at him, miserable, sniveling little twat.
His pale eyes filled with childish tears, traces of it washing off the blood from his face. Billy inhales more smoke and slowly let's go. He lost. He can kill one supe, try to kill more, but his fight is pointless after all. He knows it very well. He was made aware of how small he really is. What he was doing would never give any fruit and he had got one life. One damn life that he is spending trying to move a damn mountain. Billy looks at the people around him. Dragging them into his pointless fight when all they want is just peace. He was told he could have this one twat, a broken product that Vought didn’t want any more, and he could leave with it. Do whatever. But never even an angry glance towards Vought again. He was paid. Made an agreement and signed his name on it. Sold his principle. Was it worse than selling a soul? Or maybe equally bad. Because Vought would never fall, not in his lifetime anyway. But if Butcher wanted his revenge, he could have Homelander. So be it.
Does he even need more? He would love to continue. He would die fighting for his cause, but the people around him wanted another life. He is not daft to see how exhausted everyone is, even Hughie. His unwavering positivity had a limit. Not once it was Billy who had to pep-talk everyone. This was it, a final nail on his mission. He has to move on and take what he is given. He will make his due.
“Butcher, you’re sure about this whole thing?” another question that he ignores. His eyes meet Homelander’s. John Gillman is his name. At least this is what is written on his passport and the ID that Billy has tucked away in the inner pocket of his jacket.
“I made a deal,” he mumbles quietly, so quietly that everyone stops talking to listen to him, “I am sure.” The man looks at everyone, trying to remember these faces because he is aware they won't see each other for a while now. He was given this broken toy produced by Vought and told to keep it away. A failed experiment that Edgar didn’t want to keep around to clean up even more mess after him. So John was discarded into Billy’s hands. It was a bargain. Leave Vought alone, stop trying to destroy the company and Homelander, that bastard who raped your wife, is yours. No? Then everyone you love will die. It was clear as day what was implied when Edgar said to him, they would make sure Billy had nobody but his reflection to talk to. Because even if it was intentional or not, people around him would leave or die fighting by his side against one of the richest companies in the States. So what would he say?
Billy agreed. He will take Homelander and leave. He will dispose of a broken doll and make sure there is nothing left. He was only asked not to make it gory on national TV. Make sure cameras were not running if he wanted to kill John right there. He didn’t kill him right away. At the last moment, he thought an easy, painless death was not something Homelander deserved. He needed more. He wanted to do more. Butcher didn’t know what he would do, how he would deal with John because, in truth, he felt empty and his feelings all messed up. He knew he had been given the scraps here. Vought was the real problem. What the company did to a child was the reason Homelander was… well, Homelander. He was given this little nothing, like a dog. ‘Here, son, here is your beating toy go play with it and bugger off.’ That's pretty much what was said to him. Stan Edgar said to him to do whatever he wanted. He would be given money, enough to shut him up and start something far away from New York City. Never come back and never lay your eyes at Vought Tower again. Better remember that.
And he wanted to have his hands on Homelander. To kill the guy or anything really. Make him suffer just like Billy did. And yet the man ached. They were both victims of this. Billy and Becca's marriage fell to Homelander, when his abuser was a victim of Vought. He wasn't excusing what Homelander did, it was just harder to judge after he had that conversation with Stan Edgar the other night. He saw the documents about what they did to the kid, how they rough handled him, made him want affection and love. Made him afraid of “parental disappointment." Homelander was a bloody mental case, that is, homebrewed to be an obedient superpowered toy for Vought. A brand name. Homelander © All Rights Reserved or some crap. Not a human with feelings. He was meant to just be pointed and used. Everything else were side effects, the complications of a “human brain”. He had powers, but his brain was just simple and human. He was conditioned to be whining twat, wanting gentle touch even though his own could crash. Billy wavered when he read the files and was given John’s documents.
‘He is yours.’ a toy nobody wanted to play with any more. He was never in the position of a younger kid who gets his older brothers discarded clothes or toys. He is the older brother. Was this it?
“Help me up with him,” Butcher asked from his team, and MM reached first. John gasped from pain when he was pulled up from the boot. They are going by plane. Provided by Vought. Billy agreed to play by Stan Edgar's rules. He should’ve told the boys about the deal sooner. Talk about the details of that agreement at least, but couldn’t bring himself. The shame was bitter. He was doing it for them. His last show of understanding and letting go. Everyone around probably thought it was a good shout. If he was just on his own, he could fight till death against Vought and Homelander. But MM had a family he wanted to take care of, Hughie seemed like he never let go of that positive though about being more serious with Annie. (Proper gentleman). Then there is Kimiko. The woman seemed depressed over Serge, arent they all? but there she is, happy to be done with all this crap. Just like him. Billy was glad to step aside here and just have his broken toy to play with.
“I still can’t believe you're just gonna leave.” Hughie tried to pat his shoulder, but Billy waved at him.
“I’s fine. You all got ‘is.” Billy wanted to say something more. That he is lost, he wants to fight but sees no reason and that in truth the deal with Edgar was probably a mistake. But he let it rest. There was no point in regretting now when the choiceis solid. And bothering Hughie now when he finally has a chance for a better life was also giving a bad taste. He stepped towards the plane prepared for just two of them. “Be’er I be off, son.”
Billy stomps the cigarette under his boot, watching MM carefully carry his toy onto the plane. Marvin, probably just like Butcher, already noticed that John was light. He didn't have much muscle and was just an average guy.
“I have a place there… back home.” Words were hard for Billy. He felt heavy saying his ‘goodbye’s’. He didn’t tell anyone where exactly he was going. Partially because the place was not his but given to him to keep away. He said he was just going to the UK, back home. God Bless the King and all that. He was stealing a piece of American culture and bringing it back home like an exotic pet. Just like his ancestors used to do with anything fascinating and placed on a public display. He wanted to have an exquisite toy of his own. Not that there was much left to Homelander, just the pure fact that it is indeed John the Homealnder.
“So you're fine with this?” Hughie asks, still bewildered. Eyes studying Billy’s with a caution, looking for answers on his face. Butcher doesn’t offer any more explanation. Hughie will have to do with what is offered and not what Butcher's face hides.
“What is your plan with him? I mean, he is powerless and..?”
“I am free to do what I bloody want with ‘im.” Butcher dropped quietly and squeezed Hughie’s shoulder. His eyes widened. Face didn’t promise anything good coming Homelander’s way. He actually didn’t have any idea what to do with ex-supe. After all these years he felt deflated. Vought stole his spark so to speak.