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“So this is your place?” Jason asked, shrugging his jacket off. Tim followed the movement, then his eyes flickered back to the older boy.
“Yeah,” he nodded, “I live here with my dad.”
“What about your mother?” Jason asked again, taking a look around. He saw pictures, mostly of Tim and a man, who he assumed was the kid’s father. He’d only seen Tim tensing up from the corner of his eyes, but that was enough to understand: he said something he shouldn’t have. For a moment he expected Tim not to answer, but the younger opened his mouth after a couple of silent seconds.
“She, uh… she left us,” Tim said, he turned his face away from Jason. “It sucks, but we’re good. Dad and I, we are doing okay,” he shrugged, but the glasslike blue eyes didn’t meet Jason’s. Tim was a very bad liar, and he had a heart as big as the moon. “So, you hungry or anything?” he asked, starting for the kitchen, with this forced cheery tune in his voice. It was so fake, so sad, it made Jason’s heart ache for the kid.
“No, thanks, but I’m dying for a glass of something,” he followed Tim and after the kid doing so, he put his backpack on one of the kitchen chairs, too.
Jason wanted to ask why Tim had offered to help him out, but he knew the answer to that. He was really, really annoyed, when the kid started to follow him around, and watched him with those intense eyes of his, but after he actually started to talk to Tim, he kinda… started to like him as well. Tim was interesting, a little, awkward, genius nerd, with the most amazing brain Jason has ever seen. He also was a show off, knowing exactly how smart he was. But after weeks of hanging out, he wasn’t bothered by it anymore, because Tim was always nice to people he liked, or who were nice to him.
Also.
Jason had to admit, that Tim was beautiful, and not just on his own, geeky way. He actually was beautiful, and honestly, Jason just couldn’t understand why didn’t he get a girlfriend already. Everyone could see that Tim was just…
Fucking beautiful.
And kind.
Otherwise they wouldn’t be here, ready for studying physics together, which Jason hated from the bottom of his heart, but the idea of failing wasn’t any more appealing, so that is that. It was already hard enough, because he felt like a constant disappointment when it came to his perfect brother and adoptive father, yet he still couldn’t muster up any interest for like seventy-five percent of the shit they were studying at school.
“You okay with Coke?” Tim offered a can to him, fresh from the fridge, and Jason accepted it. “Sit down, make yourself at home,” the younger said with a tiny smile. “Or we can go up to my room and study there, if you want to,” he added.
“Yeah, that would be cool. I’d like to see your room,” Jason said, and for some unknown reason, it made him feel like he needed to swallow. What was up with him? He felt like a virgin who was visiting his girlfriend for the first time, and they are alone in the house, alone in her room…
Except that Jason wasn’t a virgin, and Tim was definitely not his girlfriend, so this was just a fucked up mess he didn’t like the least.
“Get a hold on yourself, Todd,” he murmured to himself but Tim heard it, too.
“Did you say something?”
„Nothing at all,” he said, and Tim let it go, because he was a nice kid like that.
Tim’s room looked just like him. Nerdy and cute. Jason didn’t want to think of the reasons why he thought that the kid was cute, so he banished the thought to a corner of his head no one – including himself – could see. There were bookshelves, many of them, half comic books, half science related, and a couple of novels, mostly classic.
“Your literature is really poor, kid,” Jason said, and raised a brow. Tim only smirked.
“That’s not true, it’s just different from yours,” he claimed.
“How are you not failing English, I have no idea,” Jason shook his head, and as it was expected, he got a cocky answer.
“I study.”
Jason looked around, didn’t bother to ask if it was okay, or not. Apart from books, he found a part where the white wall was full of pictures. He bet most of them were taken by Tim, the kid liked his camera, he liked to use it like, all the damn time. He recognized most of the kids: Kon and Bart, Tim’s probably closest friends, and Cassie, a tall and beautiful blondie. However there were photos of another blond girl, too.
“That your girlfriend?” he asked, because he couldn’t not to.
“Who?” Tim stepped right next to him, and looked at the pics. “Oh, Steph? No. She’s one of my best friends. I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m not really interested in people,” he shrugged. Jason wanted an explanation, because what did he mean by not being interested in people seriously, but it seemed like Tim was perfectly satisfied with that answer, and he probably was right, Jason didn’t have to know anything else about it.
Except, he wanted to. For some reason.
Ugh, this was not good.
There was a small table in the middle of the room, an old pillow thrown next to it, and piles of books and other things on top of it. It looked like a mess, but that was okay, Tim cleaned it in a minute so both of them could sit down and take out their physics books.
“So, are you ready for this?” Tim asked, and Jason snorted.
“Never. But let’s do it anyway.”
He had honestly no idea what was happening as soon as Tim started to talk and explain things. Physics just… didn’t make sense, or Jason wasn’t interested enough to try and make sense of it. He very much liked to listen to Tim’s voice however, how his fingers were holding a bright, teal pen, he used it to point out formulas and other very important however endlessly boring things.
Jason’s attention shifted; from the words in the book and their notes to Tim’s hand. It looked fragile, pale and soft. The kid had long, bony fingers, and they were fascinating. Then his eyes traveled up. To Tim’s white neck. The younger was so much whiter, than Jason, it was practically a sin. He wanted to touch his collarbones that were peeking out under from his tee, and that was a really, really dangerous thought, and yet this he couldn’t banish from his head. Then from Tim’s neck, Jason eyes shifted to his lips.
This… tension was building inside of him for a long time now. Way before he and Tim started to hang out. It was probably there since he had first seen the kid following him around, or sitting in the library, clearly not reading books but watching Jason.
He just wanted to mess him up, because Jason sometimes was like that. He wanted to mess up beautiful things, so they wouldn’t think of anyone and anything else but him. Even if Tim looked someone too pure, too innocent to mess with.
Jason liked the kid’s mouth. His lips looked good, just a bit chapped, if he kissed him, it would be on the right side of rough.
Why was he even thinking of shit like that?
“Hey, you listening there?” Tim asked, because he was an innocent kid like that. He probably didn’t even realized how Jason was watching him, how his stare was anything but pure. Because when Jason first noticed Tim stalking him, he had seen it in his eyes, how he was curious and only that. He wasn’t like Jason. His stare didn’t later give place to fantasies about kissing.
Jason know he shouldn’t do anything. And yet here he was.
“Why are you not interested in girls?” he asked, then corrected himself, “Or people.”
Tim tapped the pen to his lower lip.
“Hm, I’m not sure? I’ve never been. Not until recently anyway,” he blushed just a bit over that and it made Jason go crazy.
“Oh. So you are interested now…”
“More like curious. About… stuff.”
“What stuff?” Jason asked and he had to swallow and he was a fucking idiot, because he shouldn’t have been asking these questions, but he just couldn’t stop. Especially because now Tim was so red, Jason wasn’t sure if he has ever seen such color on skin.
“Like… kissing,” Tim mumbled, seemingly not sure why he was even answering these questions. Also, his answer, ‘kissing’, made Jason feel all kind of things, but mostly…
“You’ve never been kissed before?” he asked, gaping. How… how is that even possible? How come no one ever kissed this boy? The world was a screwed up place without doubt.
“As I said, I wasn’t interested,” Tim cleared his throat and avoided Jason’s eyes with all his power.
This was probably one of the worst ideas Jason had ever had, but he just couldn’t not. Because this was Tim, pure, nerdy, beautiful, little Tim, and he just wanted to mess him up so fucking much.
“Come ‘ere,” Jason groaned, putting one of his hands on Tim’s neck pulled the younger boy closer, then leaned in and kissed him. At first, it was experimental, because Tim was never kissed before, and because he tensed up, but then something happened, and he just melted into Jason, started to slide his lips on the rhythm Jason’s mouth set, and it was all perfect, and warm, just a bit of tongue, and light noises that escaped Tim’s mouth, and Jason happily swallowed them all, as a reward or something.
It was just so fucking good.