1 - 20 of 155 Works in Bert (Sesame Street)
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Interviewer: Der Druck war gleich von Anfang an sehr hoch. Wie sind Sie damit fertig geworden?
Ernie: (Nimmt einen tiefen Zug von der Zigarette) So ziemlich die früheste prägende Erfahrung am Set war für mich, dass mehrere Leute ihre Unterarme in mich reingeschoben haben. Gleichzeitig. Wie wird man mit sowas fertig? Sag's ihm, Bert.
Bert: Da hatte jeder seine eigenen Methoden.
Ernie: Es waren die gottverdammten Sechziger. Der einzige, der seine Drogen nicht ganz offiziell im Kühlschrank in der Studioküche aufbewahrte, war Greg, und -
Interviewer: Greg ...?
Bert: Eigentlich Grig, aber das kann ja kein Mensch aussprechen.
Interviewer: Grigore Radulescu?
Ernie: Ja - Grig. Beziehungsweise Greg. Oder halt Graf Zahl. Wissen Sie, warum der den Kühlschrank nicht brauchte?
Interviewer: Erleuchten Sie mich.
Ernie: Weil seine Stricher da nicht reingepasst hätten.- Language:
- Deutsch
- Words:
- 4,622
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 12
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If Lost, Return to Bert. by doodle_pawz
Fandoms: Sesame Street (US TV), The Muppets - All Media Types
26 Apr 2026
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Bert has noticed his shirts are mysteriously going missing. He has a great idea to stop this from happening. If only it worked...
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Ghost of Chicago by eymeym
Fandoms: Sesame Street (US TV), The Muppets - All Media Types
18 Apr 2026
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Bert needed a roommate. Ernie needed a place to crash.
A one-year arrangement, then they'd go their separate ways.
What could go wrong?
(inspired by Ghost of Chicago by Noah Floersch)
(my first fic ever, please go easy on me) -
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This is a small love story with Bert and Ernie from sesame street. <3 they're so gay.
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Date night! They are going out for dinner!
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- Part 4 of ABC Dating Challenge (Bert x Ernie)
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Zohran Mamdani Saves Sesame Street by Buttigieg68
Fandoms: Sesame Street (US TV), Political RPF, Avenue Q - Lopez/Marx, The Muppets - All Media Types, Carrie - All Media Types
12 Mar 2026
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“Listen, Ernie. I wasn’t going to say this; but there’s something important you need to know.”
“What is it, Bert?”
“A marriage isn’t a marriage if it isn’t a procreative union.”
“What do you mean?”
“All semen is sacred, Ernie. That’s why the Church condemns contraception, masturbation, and ejaculation in ways that deliberately exclude procreation. It’s a sin to deliberately waste semen.”
“I don’t think anything is wasted as long as you’re with someone you love, Bert.”
“A wife’s vagina is the only fitting receptacle for semen, Ernie. Any other receptacle is morally disordered.”
Ernie frowned deeply at that. “I think that’s wrong, Bert. People aren’t receptacles, Bert.”
“You know what I mean, Ernie.”
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Bert has finally managed to outlast Ernie in a matter of stubborn resolve! But was it worth it?
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Ernie has woken up in many odd places in his life. Handcuffed to a radiator? Thats new.
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- Part 18 of Febuwhump 2026
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Dark forces are loose in Sesame Street.
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You're the One by Slytheremm for VintageCherry
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sesame Street (US TV)
27 Dec 2025
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“Tell me, baby – what is the purpose of a rubber duck?”
“Ngh, to have my bussy stuffed,” Ron panted.
“Good boy.”---
Ronald is down on his luck after Hermione learns of his...discrepancies. And then someone, or someones, come along and shake things up a bit.
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- Part 19 of Bussy Couture
- Part 2 of The Golden Hour
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Date night! They're cooking a lot of food.
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- Part 3 of ABC Dating Challenge (Bert x Ernie)
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'a' is for 'assemble'! by orphan_account
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sesame Street (US TV)
04 Nov 2025
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steve watches his family - now an arranging team - mobilize with precision. he allows himself a moment of pride, admiration, before he follows suit. whatever is waiting for them on the other end of the signal, they'll face it together.
as there is no 'i' in 'team'.
a cry for help isn't always about danger or evil artificially intelligent robots. sometimes, it's rubber duckies and frisbees.
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Bowling date night
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- Part 2 of ABC Dating Challenge (Bert x Ernie)
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A Comprehensive Guide to Falling in Love with Your Roommate by ClowninAround
Fandoms: Sesame Street (US TV), The Muppets - All Media Types
12 Oct 2025
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Bert is looking for a roommate; Ernie just so happens to find his ad in the newspaper at the right time. They learn to co-exist and discover new feelings along the way.
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In The Middle by Anonymous
Fandoms: Sesame Street (US TV), The Muppets - All Media Types
18 Sep 2025
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Ernie’s struggles with being a trans man in the 70s
and a couple other things happen
( on hiatus )
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Bert and Ernie decide to do the ABC dating challenge.
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- Part 1 of ABC Dating Challenge (Bert x Ernie)
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Superheroes on Sesame Street by YodelingProspector
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, Sesame Street (US TV), Captain America (Chris Evans Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
30 Aug 2025
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Harry and his family visit Sesame Street. It's a lot like Harry's home, a huge community of mutants and monsters and magic people all living together, though Big Bird says a wicked witch visited once. That's a lot like Harry's family too.
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- Part 42 of C&C 'verse
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A very large egg has been the talk of Sesame Street.