Basima
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Ilya should have been scratched before the game against Montreal, but what was a little bronchitis in the face of Boston's legendary rivalry? When he collapsed during a face off, Cliff assumed he was going to be the one nursing his sick friend back to health. Instead, he became party to one of the best kept secrets in Major League Hockey.
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Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Goffi_3197
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
13 Jun 2026
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Bookmarked by Basima
19 Jun 2026
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Welcome to the Ultimate Game.
If you’re looking for a chronicle of redemption or, worse yet, a fairy tale ending with a kiss under the snow, you’ve walked into the wrong locker room. This is the story of a sabotage.
For ten years, the hockey world has feasted on the rivalry between two captains with the same hunger one brings to a public execution. And us? We served them the blood on a silver platter, while in the shadows of hotel rooms in Montreal or Boston, we exchanged fluids and secrets with the precision of two spies in enemy territory.
They believe the ice is a sanctuary of heterosexual secrets. They don’t realize that while they were betting on our next elbow to the face, they were witnessing a long, violent decade of foreplay.
Now, it’s time for El Plan.
Shane is the butterfly flapping its wings on an underwear billboard. I am the tornado about to level the entire NHL.
Grab your popcorn. It’s going to be a beautiful massacre.
My name is Ilya Rozanov, and you can thank me later.
Or: how Shane and Ilya gaslit the entire world by officially "starting to date" in 2020.
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The third year of ESPN’s #2019NHLSexiestPlayer poll gets derailed … and the internet finds out something new about Shane Hollander.
@datemedaddy | Well I thought @ShaneHollander couldn’t be hotter and I’m not afraid to admit I was wrong #TeamShane #ShaneHollander
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Bookmarked by Basima
18 Jun 2026
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It figures that even half-way across the world Ilya's dick manages to ruin Cliff's day. The real surprise is that it isn't the only dick involved in this mess.
Featuring an ill-timed outing, a supportive but clueless team trying its best, panicking over Russia's LGBTQ laws, too many group chats, an unhinged 3am brainstorming session on how to get your captain a new citizenship (asking for a friend) and Roz' inability to answer his fucking phone.
Or: Ilya disappears in Sochi. Half-way across the world his team does its best to help. Their best is more than anyone could have foreseen.
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In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.