CluelessPandora



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    Hermione has been looking forward to attending Hogwarts as a student ever since she first heard of it. Being separated from her god, however, is intimidating. At least her Hogwarts years are filled with the sort of chaos that "Loki" loves (though Gabriel really would prefer it if she managed to stay out of danger more often. And he really does not like this 'Voldemort' character. Those twins are alright, at least, even though they're a bit too fond of his priestess for his liking).

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    English
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    96,107
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    26/?
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    12 Jun 2026

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    It’s a sad day at the academy when their teacher tells them that the class clown, Naruto, died in an accident last night. Sakura should be sad, or maybe a little distressed. Well, she’s a lot distressed. Not because Naruto is dead. No, she’s distressed because she woke up this morning with Naruto’s voice in her head panicking and telling her that he was attacked last night. Now he’s cussing out the teacher in her head because 'it wasn’t an accident! I was attacked, you lying bastard!' while Inner tries to calm him down.

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    35/?
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    21 Mar 2026

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    "You a screamer, Lewis?" Clint tried to leer at her, but it came off a little more drunk puppy than Rico Suave.

    "Trust me, no one likes it when I scream."

    Darcy wished she was kidding.

     

     

    Or the one where Darcy's a banshee

    Language:
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    76,802
    Chapters:
    24/?
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    14 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    get out of Dodge – (US, idiomatic) To leave, especially to leave a difficult or dangerous environment with all possible haste.

     

    In which Haruno Sakura is ready to die to escape her captors, and she does.

    Then she wakes up in a body which isn’t hers, and is left to deal with the aftermath of the previous tenant’s actions, her own torture at the hands of her captors and all the unseen scars they’ve left upon her, as well as figuring out what exactly she wants to do with this apparent second life she has been granted.

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    English
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    44,330
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    12/?
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    18 Dec 2025

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    No, seriously, you need to read part one

    While the Valar were figuring out how to read a calendar, Freya did the math. She got to review the homework before taking the test this time, which was nice, but that made the most likely endgame obvious. She knew from the second she offered to do it that reverse fetch-questing an evil ring was going to be rough. She was trying anyway. Because she was very, very stupid.

    She expected to pay a high price for the chance to stay.
    She didn’t expect there to be an extra cost at the end.
    Or for them to both pay it.
    Or to be asked for more.

     

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,024
    Chapters:
    7/?
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    363
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    15 Dec 2025