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Summary
Petunia wasn't the smart one. Or the pretty one. Or the magical one. But she was cunning, resourceful, and she knew what she wanted from life... and she got it.
So when her nephew turns up on her doorstep one cold November morning, she sees it as the opportunity that it is.
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This was an odd little earworm of a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. I'm much more inclined to shorter works, so it's a bit of a patchwork story.
Note on the tags. Petunia is... Petunia. She is not really 'Nice' or 'Good' but she's not 'Mean' or 'Evil' either. She's a selfish, self-centered woman with a brittle sense of self-esteem and a drive to be recognized as successful in her own right. I tagged it 'Good' because that was the closest I could get to 'not the horrible person from the book, but not really even close to a Molly'.
Also: I will not be tagging every single person who appears in the fic, only those with reoccurring roles. This is not a bashing fic and I've done as best as possible to give rational(ish) 'good intentions' explanations for the canon shenanigans.
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- Part 1 of Harold the Normal
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- English
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- 42,874
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- 20/?
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Bookmarked by grace_under_pressure (Grace_Ravenclaw)
07 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/48552652/chapters/122690845#bookmark-form
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Summary
The real question is, how to get rid of Umbridge?
Or: Dumbledore's Army take the removal of the Defense professor into their own hands. Chaos ensues.
- Language:
- English
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- 2,989
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 7
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- 159
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Bookmarked by grace_under_pressure (Grace_Ravenclaw)
03 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27060604#bookmark-form
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Summary
“Skip to the point, Jim. The sooner you spit it out, the sooner I can refuse and get back to work.”
“It’s really no big deal,” Jim says as the door slides closed behind them. “I just need you to come down to Hearth with us…as my husband.”
The Enterprise has been sent to negotiate reaccession to the Federation with an isolationist religious group known as the Kindred. While there, Jim notices that some of the children seem to be gravely ill. The problem is, the Kindred practice faith healing and refuse to allow a doctor to be brought in. So Jim does what he does best: he improvises.
Series
- Part 1 of palimpsest verse
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- English
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- 61,718
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- 8/8
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Bookmarked by Grace_Ravenclaw
17 Jul 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
OH MY GOS THIA FIC IS AMAZING
https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/33968040?show_comments=true&view_full_work=truePamlimpest
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Summary
"My word, old boy, what's happened?" Lawrence demands, mildly alarmed. Perry bats his hands away when he plops himself down next to him on the mattress, shoving at his shoulder, but he does it without twisting himself around. "Don't be like that, let me look at you. Perry. What's gotten into you?"
Then he hears it. The unmistakable sniffle.
Lawrence gapes. "Have you just broken up with someone?"
Bookmarked by grace_under_pressure (Grace_Ravenclaw)
29 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
The one where Perry explains that they're work partners after the breakup and then they make up and he asks Lawrence if the fam would want to meet Heinz. (Phineas and Ferb)
You have to be cool about it. He makes Lawrence promise.
"Oh, totally." Lawrence reassures him. He's putting it on a little bit, on account of it making Perry laugh. "Chill. 100 percent-o. Call me liquid nitrogen the fact that I am lighter than air. I am pre-emptively cooling a block of ice. Call me Fro-zone the way I'm-"
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54710767
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Summary
Harry writes the first draft of his will when he’s fourteen.
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- English
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- 7,853
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by grace_under_pressure (Grace_Ravenclaw)
31 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391806#bookmark-form

