HecubusIsEvil



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    The camera is zooming slowly in on Shane, sitting on a bench in a locker room with his gear most of the way on, starting to lace up his skates. There’s a steaming hot coffee in a paper cup and a donut set neatly on a napkin on the bench beside him. Text appears in the space above the items and proclaims: Extra fuel, for when it’s time to cream Boston.

    Dunkin’ Donuts puts Ilya in an ad campaign. Tim Hortons responds in kind. After years of on-ice rivalry, this might actually be the thing that causes the hottest point of contention.

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    05 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Yuna doesn't like him.

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    04 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

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    04 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

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    03 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Finally, something dawns on him, a way to handle two goals simultaneously. He’d seen Hollander’s mother flipping through papers rapidly when they first got here, seeming calm and in control and more than a little frightening in a way that made Ilya mildly glad he wasn’t one of the people responsible for a clipboard. If anyone can tell him if the long list of “Prohibited Items” he’d been sent in his email a few days ago is just standard practice for big shoots, it would be Yuna Hollander.

    Or, hopefully, her son.

    “Crazy we cannot even have peanut butter, eh?” He asks. “You also got giant list?”

    Hollander stiffens, almost imperceptibly, and Ilya tilts his head, just slightly, confused, wondering if he’s stumbled somewhere unexpected.

    (how ilya learns about shane's allergies) (and shane's sexual awakening tragically hits a speedbump in the process 😔)

    (chapters can standalone but will be updated as inspiration strikes)

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    02 Jul 2026