1 - 20 of 24 Bookmarks by Jmnzy
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,508
- Kudos:
- 31,645
- Bookmarks:
- 12,555
- Hits:
- 1,928,739
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
After the war, Draco Malfoy seeks refuge from infamy in the Muggle world. A friendly Muggle couple takes him under their wing, but there’s a problem: they are intent on setting him up with their best friend, Hermione Granger.
Or, in which the Muggle friends Hermione Granger undoubtedly would have had will not take no for an answer.
Series
- Part 1 of The Meet Your Match Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,611
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 58
- Comments:
- 2,752
- Kudos:
- 22,019
- Bookmarks:
- 9,167
- Hits:
- 1,162,551
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
03 Jul 2026
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Summary
Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 206
- Comments:
- 13,468
- Kudos:
- 101,989
- Bookmarks:
- 31,287
- Hits:
- 5,522,181
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,248
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 2,903
- Kudos:
- 7,205
- Bookmarks:
- 4,270
- Hits:
- 509,854
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
03 Jul 2026
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Harry Potter & Seven Years of Chaos by JessalynMichele, Severitus812 (JessalynMichele)
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Jul 2025
Summary
July 8, 2021 - June 14, 2023:
706 days.
1,262,342 words.And Chaos Harry’s journey is at an end.
(Afterlife and Missing Moments to be updated eventually, but the main series is over)
- Words:
- 1,472,887
- Works:
- 13
- Bookmarks:
- 7,021
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
01 Jul 2026
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Holly Potter and the Midlife Crisis by Enigmaris
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
16 Sep 2020
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Summary
“The first group I sent over made the Avengers uncomfortable by thanking them constantly and asking for autographs. The next group stole things to sell on ebay. The group after that didn’t even get through the front door because Stark’s security system found something in their background that we missed. The fourth group left traumatized after cleaning out Thor’s room, apparently the god had some beheaded poultry dripping blood into a bowl in there. Then after that every group I’ve left hasn’t lasted more than three days because of some problem or another. I’m pretty sure one of those assholes has made it a game to scare my workers away.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to call the heroes of New York assholes.”
Or, cleaning up after the Avengers involves more than just getting blood stains out of the carpet and most of them can't take the heat. Thankfully the Savior of the Wizarding has spent the last decade cleaning up after Death Eaters, so she's up to the task. Nothing, not pranks, bird corpses, or unidentified slime will keep her from cleaning up.
This Fic is now complete!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 392,453
- Chapters:
- 80/80
- Collections:
- 32
- Comments:
- 18,099
- Kudos:
- 30,069
- Bookmarks:
- 9,951
- Hits:
- 1,387,687
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
27 Jun 2026
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On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads by Enigmaris
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
15 Apr 2020
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Summary
Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 246,843
- Chapters:
- 56/56
- Collections:
- 84
- Comments:
- 11,718
- Kudos:
- 30,247
- Bookmarks:
- 10,946
- Hits:
- 1,178,797
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
25 Jun 2026
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Bookmarked by Jmnzy
23 Jun 2026
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Lightning Scars & Metal Hearts by JessalynMichele
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
09 Aug 2023
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Summary
With Voldemort back, Harry returned to the Dursley house, and Sirius
imprisoned‘living’ at Grimmauld Place, Sirius decides to go check on his godson.And when he doesn’t like what he finds at Number Four Privet Drive, Sirius decides to do something else- tell Harry a fifteen year old secret and send him off the the United States to meet his biological father.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 417,287
- Chapters:
- 96/96
- Collections:
- 97
- Comments:
- 6,180
- Kudos:
- 21,315
- Bookmarks:
- 6,645
- Hits:
- 1,084,907
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
AU of HBP. Harry found out that he was Snape's son two years ago, and he's carefully concealed it. But now Snape is his Defense teacher, and Draco Malfoy is up to something, and Dumbledore is dying, and the final battle is coming up, and everything is getting very, very complicated.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 206,306
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Comments:
- 670
- Kudos:
- 10,815
- Bookmarks:
- 3,240
- Hits:
- 375,714
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
After three years of dating, Ron admits he cheated on Hermione for two of those years with Daphne Greengrass--and Harry knew all about it. Reeling from the betrayal by her friends and family, Hermione must rebuild her life and discover new bonds with an unlikely group including Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson.
What happens when Draco Malfoy, her first and deepest love, suddenly reappears in Hermione's life and she finds that her feelings have only grown deeper with time?
OR: Hermione and Draco secretly dated at Hogwarts, he left after his trial, and now he's returned to win her back.
Series
- Part 1 of The AVO Chronicles
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 288,120
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 2,649
- Kudos:
- 24,158
- Bookmarks:
- 10,112
- Hits:
- 1,739,364
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
16 May 2026
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Summary
The owl appeared late at night and left just as suddenly, he recognised the handwriting immediately and ripped open the envelope.
She is yours.
If something happens to us, I want you to hide her. Name her Hermione, for she will have my last libation before I sleep and be the messenger of dreamers.
Moony and Mary know.Three words. Three words that forever changed the course of the war.
Series
- Part 1 of The Missing Sister
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 652,975
- Chapters:
- 75/75
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 4,614
- Kudos:
- 15,832
- Bookmarks:
- 6,304
- Hits:
- 1,474,446
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
15 May 2026
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Summary
When the Ministry of Magic came up with a rather brilliant solution to the population crisis - pairing up young unmarried witches and wizards with the purpose of procreation, Hermione could hardly believe it.
She certainly didn’t imagine that the first marriage proposal she’d receive would come from none other than Draco Malfoy.
What she’d never in a million years have dreamt was... that she’d actually accept it.***
A marriage law story with the main focus on pregnancy and the development of their relationship through the unusual start of their life together and the baby on the way. High on domesticity, fluff and smut, low on angst and miscommunication - just enough to spice things up.
***
This is Part 1 of their story and it's from Hermione's POV.
Series
- Part 1 of Barely sixty percent match AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 149,840
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 2,934
- Kudos:
- 8,789
- Bookmarks:
- 3,153
- Hits:
- 490,334
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
15 May 2026
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Summary
Remus Lupin took his last breath.
Hermione Granger forgot how to breathe.After she collapsed on the third floor of the castle, screaming in agony, neither Madam Pomfrey nor the healers from St Mungo’s could diagnose what ailed the Golden Girl.
And so, the war was won, but Hermione was alone. Harry was dead, along with half of the Weasley clan. When she’s taken in by Sirius Black, truths are uncovered. Now armed with the weight of a vow and a bond, Hermione knows what must be done.
The world was broken, and so were they. But she could fix it; She could save them all.
She could save him.
Series
- Part 2 of Keeper of the Moon
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 407,506
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 2,289
- Kudos:
- 1,933
- Bookmarks:
- 749
- Hits:
- 109,825
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
08 May 2026
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Summary
When Harry Potter's relationship with Ginny Weasley blows up a week before the deadline for the Ministry's new marriage law, he doesn't think his life can get any worse. After he's matched to Lyra Malfoy, Draco's twin sister, he's convinced that his dream of a happy future is dead.
How will he manage balancing unsupportive Gryffindors and eccentric Slytherins? Which will kill him first his jinx of an Auror partner or one of Draco Malfoy's weird pets? Can he slow his hectic life down long enough to get to know his future wife before the wedding or will the real issue be falling for her too fast?
Series
- Part 1 of A Love
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 386,000
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Comments:
- 1,407
- Kudos:
- 1,192
- Bookmarks:
- 491
- Hits:
- 85,117
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
24 Apr 2026
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Mr and Mrs Black and the Unashamedly Unabridged Epilogue by eTinsmuir
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Feb 2024
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Summary
Sirius, the dog star. Brightest star in the sky. It's not a single star. It's a binary system: two stars that orbit each other around a common centre of gravity. A larger one, and a smaller one. Some even think there's an even smaller third star in the mix.
Three months have passed since the final battle at Hogwarts. In an event known to the Wizarding public as "The Miracle at the Veil", four of Harry, Ron, and Hermione's dearly departed comrades have been returned to the world of the living. All should be well – or, at least, returning to normalcy – but with Minister for Magic Delores Umbridge in charge, Hermione isn't convinced. With so many believing the troubled times have passed, the Order of the Phoenix has been reduced to fewer than thirty members. It's them against the entire Ministry of Magic and a population sick and tired of war. Hermione can't stop fighting, nothing can go back to the way it used to be, and with a new, unexpected, and, at first, unwanted partner in crime, she has to grow up fast.
As an Irish bookseller also by the name of Black once dismissively asserted: "you'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life". This story mixes romance, drama, humour, and action.
Series
- Part 1 of Mr and Mrs Black Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,430,254
- Chapters:
- 215/215
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 1,700
- Kudos:
- 2,163
- Bookmarks:
- 832
- Hits:
- 242,458
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
Before his third year of Hogwarts has even begun, Harry faces three whole weeks of unsupervised time in Diagon Alley. In that time he takes a trip to Gringotts - and that changes everything.
Burdened with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic, and manipulating far more than he ever thought possible, Harry doesn't know who he can trust; but he knows he can't keep going that way. There's a whole world of lore and politics and history to catch up on, and the more he learns, the more Harry realises his true place in the world, and how much is being kept hidden from him. All the while, Dumbledore's twinkling eyes are constantly watching, and Harry can't let on how much he knows.
With help from unexpected places, Harry starts on a journey to end the war, and reshape the wizarding world. With how much he looks like James Potter, people have forgotten one important thing about him - he is Lily Evans' son, and she was one hell of a witch.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 746,386
- Chapters:
- 109/109
- Collections:
- 181
- Comments:
- 13,940
- Kudos:
- 88,434
- Bookmarks:
- 25,617
- Hits:
- 5,452,750
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
Draco Malfoy is not, necessarily, a good guy. Maybe he could have been, once, but he chose differently. Some (everyone) might say he chose wrong.
After years in Azkaban and an extended house arrest sentence, he is released unto a world that somehow has only gotten worse while he was away… and rather than fix it, he falls right into step.
Or does he?
The Devil Works Hard
or: How Draco Malfoy Finally Did The Right Thing (And Really Shouldn’t He Be Called The Chosen One?) You’re Welcome, World
or: Who Needs Love Letters When Instead You Can Write Hate Notes - Draco Malfoy’s Guide to True Love
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 330,719
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 2,962
- Kudos:
- 2,910
- Bookmarks:
- 1,564
- Hits:
- 201,910
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
When it becomes clear the path his father has chosen for their family will lead to nothing but pain and suffering, Draco Malfoy decides to change course, to do so he realises he must ask for the help of the last person he ever imagined. In his quest for survival, he is forced to question everything he's ever been taught which will lead him on a journey of transformation and self-discovery, that will ultimately change the very foundations of his identity.
or
What if Draco Malfoy decided he did not want to be a servant to the Dark Lord long before he was forced to join his ranks?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 519,587
- Chapters:
- 77/77
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 2,442
- Kudos:
- 2,868
- Bookmarks:
- 1,451
- Hits:
- 207,480
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
15 Apr 2026
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Summary
When Harry finds an injured Snape on his doorstep and must hide him from the Dursleys, he has no idea that this very, very bad day will be the start of something good.
Harry and Snape are thrown together by annoying relatives, a series of strange dreams, and Voldemort's latest hunt for Harry, but their greatest challenge may well be surviving each other. This will be a long summer unless the two can find a way to work together. A slow-burn enemy-to-mentor story.
Alternate 6th summer (and part of the school year): post-OotP; ignores HBP and DH. No slash, no romance. NOW COMPLETE!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 373,223
- Chapters:
- 61/61
- Collections:
- 37
- Comments:
- 3,516
- Kudos:
- 20,610
- Bookmarks:
- 6,756
- Hits:
- 887,111
Bookmarked by Jmnzy
03 Apr 2026