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Recent works
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every corner of this house is haunted by Pale_Blue
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
19 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Is everything ok?” Shane asked softly. It was so achingly gentle and Ilya didn’t know what to do with it.
And in another version of his life, Ilya opened up. In another version of their interaction, Ilya cuddled up against Shane’s chest like he was still small enough for it to be enough and let the whole sorry lot pour out of him. That sometimes, when he was tired and caught a flash of his reflection in the mirror, he was half-convinced he’d seen his mother. That there was a hollow in his chest and every day it gained ground. That he sometimes wondered if he had actually died when his mother had and no-one had bothered to let his body know it could stop now.
Today wasn’t going to be that version of his life.
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but it’s cold, and it’s cold, and it’s cold by Pale_Blue
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
12 Jul 2026
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Summary
Ilya was thirteen years old and it still felt like a part of him had been lowered into the frosted ground along with his mother’s body the previous winter.
Or: Five times Ilya Rozanov felt cold and one time he allowed himself sunshine
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i've been seeing ghosts again by Pale_Blue
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
28 Jun 2026
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Summary
Following the move to Ottawa, Ilya is struggling to keep his head above water. The Centaurs seem incapable of winning, his house is still half-unpacked at best, and Shane is two hours away in Montreal. After months of struggling alone, Ilya unexpectedly shows up at the Hollanders’ house one night, terrified of his own thoughts.
In the months that follow, Ilya hits low after low, struggling with his newly-diagnosed depression. David and Yuna do their best to be there for him while distance is still keeping Shane and Ilya apart.
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Summary
Ten years ago, Cas told Dean he loved him before being taken by the Empty. Dean never moved past it, isolating himself from everyone and trying to find a way to bring Cas back. Ten years to the day, and he’s ready to try one last ritual.
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deep breath, exhale by Pale_Blue
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
15 Mar 2026
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Summary
Shane looked at Ilya carefully. At the curled-up posture, at eyes that were too shiny to hide the fact he’d been crying. Bare toes in the damp grass, jaw clenched like he couldn’t relax even with the nicotine.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, softly.
Recent series
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and my waves meet your shore (ever and evermore) by Pale_Blue
Fandom Supernatural (TV 2005)
10 Dec 2025
Summary
Little slice of life moments
- Words:
- 6,397
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 9
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can’t change the weather (might not be forever) by Pale_Blue
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
07 Feb 2026
- Words:
- 2,961
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 9
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Things have gotten worse (since we last met) by Pale_Blue
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
14 Jun 2025
- Words:
- 10,915
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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Sherlock Holmes and the Wizarding World by Pale_Blue
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
26 Mar 2023
- Words:
- 6,241
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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A Different Form of Communication by Pale_Blue
Fandom The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
06 Jan 2019
- Words:
- 2,004
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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jack of all trades, master of some by Anonymous
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
Shane likes to think of himself cross-sected and splayed open like a surgical diorama with pins in all the important parts. This is the part that causes the specimen to respond to anger, fear, hurt, love, with tears. This is the part that sometimes feels a little better after throwing up. This is the part that likes anal sex. This is the part that processes social interactions. See how it’s atrophied and dysfunctional?
He likes thinking about that sometimes, too. About every part of him being located somewhere along his genome, or pieced together like plastic organs in a 7th grade biology model all crammed in but only if assembled in the right sequence. Like the things that are wrong with him are traceable to something concrete that he can blame. The shape of his eyes? From his mom. Athleticism? From his dad. Being maybe gay? Probably a mutation. Definitely not supposed to be there.
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Essentially, how Shane Hollander learns to be a man.Series
- Part 3 of restgently's hollanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,427
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 102
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 960
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
21 Jul 2026
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Summary
Ilya was a lot like his mama. Blond curls, bumpy noses, sharp cheekbones.
They both loved to dance around the kitchen and cook for the people they loved. They joked and laughed and when they were happy, their smiles shone.
They were both very, very sad.
Ilya saw his mama in everything. Especially himself.
or,
Ilya goes through a depressive episode. Shane helps.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
20 Jul 2026
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Summary
Ilya’s not stupid. Ilya is a fucking hockey prodigy who talked circles around everyone on his team in Russia — some coaches included — with his ideas for strategy and different plays. But all the words from back then are useless to him here, and the words he has at his disposal now don’t do justice to a single thing he wants to say.
Ilya and the English language, through the years.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
20 Jul 2026
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back between villages by madomtomlinson
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
13 Jul 2026
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Summary
Haasy
a few days ago he said he missed home.
he said he couldn't focus because his mind was on death.
not like in a suicidal way!
i don't think so, at least.
he was feeling nostalgic.
he said, "haasy, i think i am going back home."
Or, Ilya is having a mental health crisis and goes missing.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
16 Jul 2026
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Tags
Summary
And yeah, Shane knew that Ilya hadn’t been okay last time he was in Russia, but Ilya had had the very real excuse of a funeral to blame things on. Ilya had downplayed it as much as he could, and Shane hadn’t been there, he’d heard the fatigue and he’d seen Ilya’s tired smile, but he hadn’t felt the way Ilya’s hands were cold the entire time he was there, hadn’t seen through the screen the way Ilya dropped eight pounds in three weeks, hadn’t kept time when there were twenty hours in Ilya’s day instead of something closer to sixteen. Or, on the flip side, for the week or two after, when there had been approximately ten conscious hours in a day.
It was one thing to see something. It was another to feel it in your hands.
Ilya and Shane are so, so happy for their first year married. They’re playing in Ottawa together, they’re fucking winning, they’re together and out.
So now, after a year, Ilya should be fine. He should be great. He should not be flinching at small noises or nearly punching people off the clock or feeling like he’s drowning whenever he’s not on the ice.
Or: Ilya Rozanov, meet your PTSD.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,246
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 701
- Kudos:
- 1,378
- Bookmarks:
- 558
- Hits:
- 37,439
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
15 Jul 2026

