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Help, There’s a Starfish on the Roof! by dtnvrr4
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Jun 2026
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Summary
Kaveh had been clear. No poetic wording. No room for misunderstandings. No room for miscommunication.
“I don’t see you that way,” Alhaitham replied flatly.
Wow. So straightforward. So concise. Zero social etiquette.
The heartbreak had not even settled in yet and Kaveh already wanted to throw him off the building.
Cyno @tcg_pharaoh:
why is alhaitham on the roofTighnari @actual_leader:
what roof?? like about to jump??Cyno @tcg_pharaoh:
no he’s lying down flat like a starfish on the cement and just staring at the skyStar_Airbnb @star_villas:
🔗 StarFish Rooftop Villa, 2Bedroom, 1.5 Bathroom with View(or: Kaveh was the one who got rejected by Alhaitham, so why is his junior acting like a tragically abandoned stray cat?)
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
12 Jun 2026
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The Akademiya has a problem with gossip.
More specifically, it has a problem with them.To stop the rumors, Alhaitham proposes a simple solution: they pretend to be in love.
It should have been easy.
Controlled.
Logical.
It isn’t.Because Kaveh has been in love with him for far too long, and Alhaitham is far too convincing for something that’s supposed to be fake.
And when pretending starts to feel real,
something is going to breakBookmarked by ShittyNovice
27 Apr 2026
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Though Alhaitham’s instinctive reaction was to push this inexplicably older version of Kaveh away and demand an explanation, something about the desperation in his grip held him hostage. He could feel the rapid rise and fall of Kaveh’s chest against his own, the quivers in his body from the leftover adrenaline of travelling through what had to be some sort of time portal.
He was still trying to make sense of the situation, pulse roaring in his ears, when Kaveh’s fingers began to shift, sliding down the length of his arm until he reached Alhaitham’s left hand.
Kaveh traced along the veins there, pausing - as if searching for something that wasn’t where it should be. Then his posture fell, softening with melancholy. “Oh,” he murmured, almost to himself. “I’m not back yet.”
Alhaitham stiffened. “What?”
“You’re not my Alhaitham,” Kaveh said with a quiet, somber sigh that wavered faintly at the end.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,689
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 971
- Bookmarks:
- 133
- Hits:
- 5,291
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
23 Apr 2026
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Summary
Alhaitham already knows what Kaveh will say. He will sweep his hair off his neck as he is wont to do when he is nervous, and provide an easy way to leave the conversation without giving too much away.
Instead, Kaveh goes strangely silent, shifting uncomfortably on his feet, and glances back between Alhaitham and their friends.
"Actually," he starts, sweeping his gaze along their faces, "I'll probably be walking home with him a while longer."
Alhaitham is quite used to Kaveh denying that they live together. Whether the vendors in the bazaar believe him is another issue, but Kaveh always corrects anyone that dares assume they might enjoy spending time together.
Naturally, Alhaitham assumes Kaveh will continue to keep this 'secret' even when they start seeing each other, out of shame or embarrassment or otherwise.
As it turns out, there are things even Alhaitham does not know.
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
07 Apr 2026
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Summary
Alhaitham’s agency throws him into a livestream dating show. As expected, he rejects everyone. Rudely.
“Name a key scientist involved in the laws of thermodynamics.”
“Newton?”
“What is your stance on Dialectic of Enlightenment?”
“Dia-what?”
“Name a philosopher. As an advantage, a dead one.”
“...”
“Next.”It shouldn't have been as surprising when someone finally snaps.
“Do you even know the answers to these questions, or are you just waiting for someone to say Ibn al-Haytham to boost your own ego?”
Or: The internet is privy to Alhaitham falling in love on camera.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,916
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 232
- Kudos:
- 2,759
- Bookmarks:
- 665
- Hits:
- 14,480
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
18 Feb 2026
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Wrong People, Wrong Time (at least two of these are lies) by safittarius
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
After suffering through a nearly-fatal car accident, Alhaitham abandons his life in Sumeru City and moves to Port Ormos. New job, new people, new experiences—all of it ambushes him as soon as he disembarks the ferry, and Alhaitham can only hope that he finds his peace soon.
Those hopes, however, melt the second he meets the chef at his new job as a fine-dining restaurant manager. He recognizes the man he had a one-night stand with just yesterday, and instantly knows: it won't be an easy ride.
Kaveh watched him with a heavy stare. The air was constricting. Alhaitham walked to the door: so, there was a banquet the next day, and fast food chains never hosted those, so he needed to figure out the protocol of action, and…
“If anyone finds out about last night, I’ll serve you for tomorrow’s banquet as a main dish. Just saying,” Kaveh’s voice came from behind Alhaitham’s back, sweet, syrupy, the annoying, but not-so-annoying when it came from Kaveh Port Ormos’s accent and all.
Series
- Part 1 of Wrong People, Wrong Time
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,896
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 73
- Kudos:
- 183
- Bookmarks:
- 34
- Hits:
- 2,862
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
27 Dec 2025
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With Great Power Comes a Terrible Rent Split by dtnvrr4
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
27 May 2025
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Summary
Alhaitham is just trying to survive his final year of university while juggling his secret identity as Spider-Man without jeopardizing his academic standing or dying. Simple goals. Unfortunately, his biggest obstacle isn’t a supervillain—it’s his endearingly overdramatic roommate.
Who won’t stop asking Alhaitham why he keeps coming home bruised.
And won't stop yelling at Spider-Man to understand basic architectural integrity when slamming bad guys into buildings.
(Or: Spider-Man!Alhaitham and Gwen Stacy!Kaveh)
Series
- Part 1 of The (Not So) Greater Good
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,406
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 490
- Kudos:
- 1,370
- Bookmarks:
- 329
- Hits:
- 19,680
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
26 Dec 2025
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Five Times Kaveh Got Jealous (and the One Time Alhaitham Did) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
07 Dec 2025
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Summary
Five times Kaveh launched a dramatic crusade against perceived rivals for Alhaitham’s attention (with the conviction of a scorned philosopher-architect, involving suspicious soy milk, academic puns, semi-nude modeling, a watercolor balcony, and a flipped symposium chair). And the one time Alhaitham broke his champagne flute—and finally admitted he didn’t want to share.
Series
- Part 29 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
08 Dec 2025
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Summary
Alhaitham intently fixes his gaze on him, his expression unreadable. He studies him with that infuriating stillness that Kaveh had learned to love, like he's trying to translate an ancient language, not listening to someone digging their own grave.
"I see," Alhaitham says, finally grabbing his cup; "if that's what you want, senior. We can do that."
And Kaveh could leave it like that. Alhaitham had agreed faster than he imagined. But Kaveh fills the silence again, compulsively and fired up by his heart trying to escape through his throat.
"I just... I don't want this trip to be awkward for any of us. You know how they are, they will worry and I..." Kaveh makes a pause and takes a deep breath. "This is between us. I want to keep it like that. For now"
There's a pregnant pause before Alhaitham's voice breaks it.
"Alright," a sip of tea, "If that's what you need."
Or; Kaveh come with a plan to fake his relationship with his ex for a week trip with their friends. What starts as a simple lie to avoid drama becomes a fragile chance to see if what they lost can ever be rebuilt from what Kaveh thinks has become ashes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,473
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 195
- Bookmarks:
- 37
- Hits:
- 2,140
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
02 Dec 2025
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Summary
Modern AU: Three years after their breakup, Kaveh and Alhaitham run into each other at a Brooklyn bookstore. They were never great at closure.
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Kaveh knew better — that’s what made it fun. He was a child snuffing a candle with his fingertips — burned before, certain to be burned again, doing it anyways.Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
12 Aug 2025
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You have Bewitched me, Body and Soul… by TheRandomOne
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
27 Jun 2025
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Summary
Al Haitham knows that he’s in love with Kaveh.
Kaveh knows that he’s in love with Al Haitham.
Now, if only their definitions of love were the same…
i.e. the Pride and Prejudice fic set Post-Archon-Quest in Sumeru my brain concocted instead of studying for my exams.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,965
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 370
- Kudos:
- 752
- Bookmarks:
- 195
- Hits:
- 23,582
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
Though Alhaitham was the one to suggest having no public affection between them for the sake of Kaveh’s reputation, he starts to wonder if it has only created a barrier to their relationship. Yet telling Kaveh he’s fine with it, Alhaitham soon realises that even the simplest touch overwhelms him, until he can’t ignore the way it makes him feel any longer
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
19 May 2025
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I cannot be him, but I can be me (is that enough?) by ira_writes
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
And despite that... Kaveh is… “Lovesick?”
Kaveh’s hands move to cover his face, palms muffling his words as he mutters, “It’s—not quite like that.”
“Well, the ‘sick’ aspect is accurate, at least.”
“No shit,” Kaveh snorts. “The ‘love’ component, though—it’s, uh—”
“You’re not in love?”
He coughs. “The greenhouse in my lungs begs to differ. I—it’s more that my body is mourning a love it knows can’t ever be requited.”
For all the negative feelings Alhaitham’s encountered over the past twelve hours, the sensation that creeps through him now is…
Unfamiliar.
Unknowable.
Despite all the languages he’s fluent in, Alhaitham is unable to conjure a word or phrase with which he can immediately label it. He just knows that whatever this feeling is, it’s unbelievably unpleasant. Like his body is stationary, yet his internal organs are plummeting into the Abyss.
“You love someone who doesn’t love you back?” he asks after a moment.
Kaveh has Hanahaki. That much is known. But who he loves, and whether Alhaitham will be able to save him, is up in the air.
(Haikavah vs. Hanahaki vs. A/B/O dynamics)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 120,174
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 748
- Kudos:
- 2,754
- Bookmarks:
- 585
- Hits:
- 60,556
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
13 Apr 2025
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Coming Home (But Not to You) by queercatfan
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
24 Dec 2024
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Summary
When Viktor makes the reluctant decision to move back to Piltover after six years to be a professor at The Academy, he's forced to share an office with none other than his former lab partner Jayce Talis, the very man who caused him to leave Piltover in the first place.
(modern professors AU)
Series
- Part 1 of Coming Home (But Not to You)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,854
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 4,624
- Kudos:
- 43,007
- Bookmarks:
- 10,266
- Hits:
- 1,098,355
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
06 Dec 2024
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Summary
“I’ve designed many buildings in my career,” Kaveh begins, the attention of every single person in the crowd fixed on him. “Most of which have been extravagant pieces made to stand tall in our city and glitter.”
Kaveh glances down at what must be some notes on the podium, pausing before he looks back up, shining in the bright lights of the stage.
“But in recent years, I must admit that my focus has shifted.”
Alhaitham leans forward, watching, hoping for something he can't quite admit. Not when the truth is that he’s never known how to say that he is hungry without fear that people will see the truth that he is starving.
Or, a year after the events of the Interdarshan Championship, Alhaitham finally retires
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 152,087
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Comments:
- 583
- Kudos:
- 1,021
- Bookmarks:
- 290
- Hits:
- 30,947
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
24 Nov 2024
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No One But Us Can Know by Rainbowkittyblossomwings
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
08 Feb 2025
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Summary
During a TCG game, the subject of how each in their small group of friend's (Cyno, Tighnari, Kaveh and Alhaitham) lost their virginity comes up. Kaveh is beyond panicked, because he does not want his more normal reasonable friends to know he had sex with Alhaitham of all things back in the Akademiya. He might be terrible at keeping his own secrets, but this one needs to remain a secret at all cost, because he's still hiding from shame from it, to this day!
And Alhaitham just seemingly watches him tormented by the mistakes of their hands, as if this is all part of his master plot and Kaveh is dancing in the palm of his hand. He might look innocent focusing on TCG, following their little rules of secrecy, but Kaveh knows that's far from the truth when it comes to Alhaitham.
Why did he take Alhaitham up on the offer, back when they were friends, of having sex with each other just to see what it was like? It is something he's regretted ever since. And it feels like Kaveh is the only one paying for that mistake.
No one but us can know? More like, no one but Kaveh has to suffer!
And don't get him started about how he lost the game of lots and had to bottom too---Oh, he HATES Alhaitham!!!!
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
09 Nov 2024
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Honey, you're familiar (like my mirror years ago) by Intensely_Reading for Fantasy_Pens
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Sep 2024
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Summary
When Kaveh first agreed to let Nilou set him up on a blind date, he didn’t think it would end up like this.
Him, sitting in Puspa Cafe, fingers lightly tapping the side of his cup—and Al-Haitham, the Acting Grand Sage of the Akademiya, a decade older than Kaveh remembers and a decade more unfamiliar.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,287
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 82
- Kudos:
- 813
- Bookmarks:
- 227
- Hits:
- 7,673
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
17 Sep 2024
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and you know we can be just what they want by taeyongsan for midnighter777
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
15 Sep 2024
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Summary
cautioninconfidence: !love kaveh
StreamElements: cautioninconfidence and kaveh are 100% in love paradiAYAYAKaveh has successfully kept his relationship with Alhaitham a secret for three years now, so why has Alhaitham suddenly decided to publicly bring him up and link them together for all to see? Of course, it’s just to make fun of him!
Now, both on the internet and in real life, Kaveh can’t escape the hold Alhaitham has on him — on his mind, his body, or his heart. But the question is: does he even want to?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,651
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 102
- Kudos:
- 1,229
- Bookmarks:
- 355
- Hits:
- 14,990
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
16 Sep 2024
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Summary
Фестиваль Сабзеруз повторюється знову і знову, та аль-Хайтам змушений пам'ятати кожен день, доки Академія відчуває бажання продовжувати збирати сни. Він дізнається щось про Кавеха в процесі і, можливо, трохи про себе теж.
– Я продовжую повертатися до тебе, – він засміявся, але це прозвучало нервово. – Наскільки це сумно?
– Сумно?
Кавех колупав траву під собою, не підіймаючи голову.
– Ти не кохаєш мене. І ніколи не будеш.
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
10 Sep 2024
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Summary
“Prove it.”
Kaveh paused. Slowly, he turned around. “What?”
“Prove that you won’t fall in love.”
Kaveh tilted his head. “And how do you suggest I do that?”
“Date me,” said Al-Haitham. “Prove to me that you won’t fall in love.”
Kaveh keeps getting broken up with and is on the verge of giving up on love when Al-Haitham propositions him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,963
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 171
- Kudos:
- 1,801
- Bookmarks:
- 457
- Hits:
- 16,038
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
29 Aug 2024