fumblefalls



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane had been used to being alone. He'd never thought of himself as lonely. He honestly often craved the solitude, found it grounding. But that was before he knew what it was like to have someone to call, someone to touch. He was never lonely before Rozanov, but he'd been lonely ever since.

    April 2017: Shane does not get laid out on the ice.

    Ilya goes through with ending it.

    Shane lets him.

    What follows is eleven months of distance, denial, and a quiet kind of devastation neither of them knows how to name, let alone fix.

    They learn how to live without each other.

    (Or at least, how to pretend.)

    And then, almost a year later, the infamous collision happens and Shane goes down cold.

    And suddenly, neither of them can pretend it doesn’t matter.

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    22 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Surprised?” Rozanov asks.

    “There’s nothing – this is nothing,” Shane forces out.

    “Soulmates is something,” Rozanov says.

    “You know you should say Connected Person, not soulmate,” Shane says. “It’s old-fashioned and sugar-coating.”

    Rozanov takes a drag of his cigarette and looks Shane up and down. “Sugar? You think is always sweet and fun?”

    ---

    Shane and Ilya are soulmates. A lot of it is sweet, and some of it is hard.

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    Words:
    9,207
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    1/1
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    22 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Life feels so chaotic for Shane sometimes, with all the loud noises and the unwritten rules he’s expected to follow, even though no one ever taught them to him. It’s why the bookstore feels more like home to him than anywhere else in Boston. It doesn’t ask Shane to be anything other than himself. Doesn’t ask for any more than he can give.

    He can just exist here.

    Shane likes slow, likes taking his time. And Ilya - without saying or doing anything in particular - makes Shane feel like that’s okay. Like he isn’t doing anything wrong by standing still sometimes.

    (Or, Shane works in a bookstore, Ilya plays hockey, and they both go to the same college. They fall in love in every universe.)

    Language:
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    1/1
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    15 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “I feel really good about this kid, I think he could be great on your wing, he just needs some help settling in. Someone to show him the ropes.”

    “Yes.”

    The line went silent for a moment. Ilya wasn’t really sure why his coach felt the need to run this by him.

    “Rozanov,” his coach said at last. “I want him to live with you.”

    Ilya blinked, then nearly shouted into the phone. “What?”

    * * *

    or, Ilya stays in Boston, gets a rookie, and tries to figure out how to make a secret long distance relationship work while there's a Russian teenager in his house

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    English
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    138,936
    Chapters:
    20/20
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    10 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane and Ilya broke up. It was the adult, mature decision they made together and moved on from. Except Shane is still Ilya's emergency contact and Ilya's coach just called.

    Ilya had a seizure. Well, seizures. Multiple. He is in the hospital, in the operation block and suddenly Shane is met with the possibility that last words Ilya Rozanov ever heard from him were "Maybe love isn't enough."

    And then complications occur. And Ilya is not waking up.

    ***

    They’d sat on a perfectly ordinary Wednesday afternoon in their perfectly ordinary kitchen, with coffee that had gone cold on the table between them, and calmly dismantled the life they’d built together. One sentence at a time.

    “Maybe we need space.” “Maybe we’re just hurting each other.” “Maybe love isn’t enough.”

    He wants to go back and shove that version of himself against the wall. Shake him until his teeth rattle.

    Love is the only thing that matters when someone is under general anaesthesia and a stranger is touching their brain, Shane thinks wildly. Love is literally the only currency worth anything in a room like this.

    Series
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    Words:
    20,239
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    1/1
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    09 Jun 2026

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