naughtbutAJoke

Rat holding an accordion



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When Paramedic Shane Hollander and EMT Hayden Pike start working nights, they expect to spend their shifts getting fucked over by Response Paramedic—and notorious asshole—Ilya Rozanov.

    Shane does end up getting fucked, just not in the way he was expecting.

    (shane just wants to do his job and ride the ambulance. ilya thinks shane should be riding him, instead.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,467
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    846
    Kudos:
    12,162
    Bookmarks:
    4,079
    Hits:
    186,840

    05 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The plane carrying the Voyageurs home from Houston crashes just after take-off.

    Shane is on board.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    144,020
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    2,226
    Kudos:
    8,770
    Bookmarks:
    2,945
    Hits:
    198,004

    04 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is the youngest Commander in ISS history; straight-backed, closeted, and so tightly on his own leash that seven months in orbit with Ilya Rozanov have not produced a single crack in his composure.

    Ilya Rozanov is the Russian cosmonaut who should have had his job, won’t stop bouncing a tennis ball off the walls, and is still looking for a fissure. Thankfully, a solar storm finds it for him.

    or: Near-death, zero gravity, and the wrong man’s hands in exactly the right places.

    A Cosmonaut!Ilya x Astronaut!Shane AU 🚀

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,239
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    3,727
    Kudos:
    13,151
    Bookmarks:
    5,083
    Hits:
    236,285

    24 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    selbindery (on ao3 and instagram!) has fic bound this entire series and it is so, so wonderful, please go check out their beautiful work of art here:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/DWhgjfuFsVr/?igsh=MTlmbDBvbDBmMG55bQ==

    (fic binding is only ever acceptable for personal use! do not attempt to sell or monetize fanfiction!)

    Words:
    247,098
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    7,500

    04 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “I didn’t really think it through when I said it, I just got so angry and all I could think was that I wanted them to know what it would be like for someone they love to be gay. It was probably a dumb plan, because the jury’s still out on if they love me,” he chuckled darkly. “Plus, the obvious.”

    The clock ticked.

    Robin raised her eyebrows and waited. “You’re… not gay?” She guessed with a frown.

    Steve flashed her finger guns with a grin. “Bingo.”

    Or, Steve asks Eddie to pretend to date him to teach his parents a lesson. Eddie is devastated to find out they weren’t dating already.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    124,412
    Chapters:
    17/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    380
    Kudos:
    723
    Bookmarks:
    200
    Hits:
    20,879

    13 Dec 2025