parkourpanda
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Just When You Think You’ve Finally Figured Out How to Raise One Protagonist, the Universe Drops a Sequel on You by parkourpanda
Fandoms: 銀魂 | Gintama (Anime & Manga), だんでらいおん | Dandelion (Anime & Manga)
29 Jun 2026
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Summary
When reading this fanfic, turn on the lights and keep distance from your phone! Seriously, scrolling in the pitch black at 3 AM will shrivel your eyes into dried plums. Don't ruin your eyesight.
Now, Gin-san finally married the Mayora (for tax benefits, not love, obviously), acquired one smartass kid who already roasts him harder than Kagura, and thought, "Finally, I can live life as a retired protagonist."
*wrong buzzer noises*
Studio budget? Non-existent. Author-san? Dead tired. Hotel? Trivago.
Series
- Part 2 of How to Raise a Protagonist (or Two)
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How to Raise a Protagonist (Without Really Trying) by parkourpanda
Fandoms: 銀魂 | Gintama (Anime & Manga), だんでらいおん | Dandelion (Anime & Manga), 2年B組 勇者デストロイヤーず | Class 2-B Hero Destroyerz (Manga)
06 May 2026
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Summary
Oi, stop scrolling and listen up! You see this? This is what happens when Gorilla-sensei spends his entire savings on cheesecake and forgets to write a proper script. Instead of a cool space battle, we’re getting hit with a plot device from the Altana Gates that’s basically a middle finger to biology. Apparently, if you pine hard enough, the Terminal spits out a kid. And guess who won the lottery? That’s right, Gin-san and the Mayora over here. (Didn't Hijikata-san steal Danna's lottery ticket in that episode?) (I didn't steal it, you sadist!) (He totally did, Souichiro-kun.)
And since Gorilla-sensei is a lazy bum who loves recycling his old sketches, we’ve dragged Dandelion’s Tetsuo Tanba and that Class 2-B brat Kumon Akira into this mess. Look, if you want to watch two idiots with zero fatherly instincts crumble under the weight of accidental parenthood, this is your stop. Read it before the studio realizes we’re using the Gintama name to sell this trash and sends a copyright infringement letter! (But we haven't gotten animation budget for this crossover, though, Gin-san?) (Shut up, Patsuan!)
TLDR: I took "Tetsuo & Akira looking like GinHiji's lovechildren" headcanon and fucking RAN with it.
Series
- Part 1 of How to Raise a Protagonist (or Two)
Recent series
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How to Raise a Protagonist (or Two) by parkourpanda
Fandom 2年B組 勇者デストロイヤーず | Class 2-B Hero Destroyerz (Manga), だんでらいおん | Dandelion (Anime & Manga), 銀魂 | Gintama (Anime & Manga)
29 Jun 2026
Summary
Uji-Gintoki-Udon + Hijikata Special = 2 Kids They Didn't Ask For
You bastards actually clicked on the series page?
Welcome to the shitshow that happens when Gin-san finally gets together with the Mayora, only for some Altana Gate to yeet two kids into their laps. Because one brat wasn’t enough. Thanks to the recycling program Gorilla-sensei calls “plot.”
Yes, that includes Dandelion’s Tetsuo Tanba and the Class 2-B menace Kumon Akira officially becoming their lovechildren. Don’t ask how the biology works. Just accept it.
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