xCheechx
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"We can think about putting a label on this when things are ... not like ... this."
Ash's expression hardens. "Like what, Shorter?" he demands. Shit.
"I just mean—"
"They'll always be like this. I'm not getting out, okay? That's not going to happen. You can tell me these stupidly sweet words all you want, but it's not true, and you know it. So is it too much to ask for? For me to just ... have ... have you, even though the rest of my life is like that?"
"Ash—"
"I'm always going to be fucked up!" Ash is glaring again, and now Shorter is about to cry. "I'm never going to get better, or—or whatever, and my life is always going to look like this, and I've come to fucking accept that. I guess I was just hoping that you would love me anyway."
Ash tells Shorter that he's in love with him.
Bookmarked by xCheechx
01 Jul 2026
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We will stay with you. Now and forever. by chaos101
Fandoms: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
13 Sep 2021
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He wants to believe that Eiji is like Shorter, and wouldn’t be interested in hurting him, but what are the chances that the world would let Ash meet two people like that?
Ash can pay his gang back by protecting them from the other gangs of New York, but he hasn’t done anything for Eiji or Shorter. He hasn’t paid his fucking dues.
And trying to sleep next to the two of them in a fucking motel room is a stark reminder of that.
It’s odd, lying here between them—it would be the perfect opportunity to pay them back, if only they would let him.
Ash slips out of the motel room on the way to Los Angeles, but Eiji and Shorter won't let him be alone with his thoughts.
Bookmarked by xCheechx
01 Jul 2026
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Ash laughs, a little—a lot—bitter. “It’s too bad I’m fucked up, yeah? A face like this, a brain like mine, a body—I mean—I could have been someone.”
“You are someone, Ash,” Eiji whispers. “And that has nothing to do with your intelligence or your appearance.”
Ash doesn’t respond.
Sometimes all it takes is a word or a touch to hurt. Sometimes all it takes is a word or a touch to heal.
Bookmarked by xCheechx
30 Jun 2026
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“You can wake me up,” Shorter says quickly. “If you have another nightmare. You can wake me up. I don’t mind, okay?”
Doesn’t mind because it means Ash will owe him later? Or ... ?
Ash takes a deep breath, trying not to think about that right now. He doesn’t want to owe Shorter—to owe anyone—but when he’s crying and crying and screaming from the nightmares and the memories and Shorter is there, it’s impossible to not reach for him. To not beg for Shorter and cry out his name and plead with the universe to please, please, just this once, have mercy.
Please.
Be kind to me.
Pain, friendship, love, and their intersection.
Bookmarked by xCheechx
29 Jun 2026
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I'm hard to love, but I want you to love me. by chaos101
Fandoms: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
03 Oct 2021
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“You were willing to sacrifice everything for me, once, and now you don’t have to.”
A memory flashes through Ash’s mind—of holding a gun to his own head and pulling the trigger, no hesitation. And he sits there, head on Eiji’s shoulder, with the knowledge that he would do it again in a heartbeat.
“Yeah,” Ash whispers. “I’m ... glad I don’t have to. Anymore.”
Eiji is silent for a moment, and Ash knows he’s doomed.
“Fuck,” he whispers.
Eiji explains that there's more to love than sacrifice.
Bookmarked by xCheechx
28 Jun 2026