Work Text:
Bakugou fumed. How dare that squinty-eyed bastard get the drop on him?! And Kirishima was the one who ended up having to pay the price, pushing Bakugou out of the way and getting turned into a fucking meatball of all things, joining the other students-turned-meatballs littering the cement. Bakugou was so mad he could choke. To top it off, meat boy was now focusing his attention on Kaminari, as if that dunce was more of a threat.
“Don’t ignore me!” Bakugou shouted while firing more AP shots. They hit the bastard’s meat shield and smoke obscured his vision.
“I’m not, though.”
On instinct, Bakugou ducked down and more of that disgusting floating meat sailed over his head. He wouldn’t be caught unaware for a second time. Still crouched low, he aimed an explosion at the meathead’s right foot. He jumped out of the way. The absolute dick.
“You stumbled over to a great spot,” Kaminari said, fingers pointed like a gun.
Lighting shot out of his index finger, sailing towards the projectiles Kaminari had fired off like a moron earlier and hitting meat boy in the process. The bastard screamed and writhed in the lightning’s glow before it tapered off, and he dropped down to his knees. He was still conscious but too fried to move. Guess Kaminari wasn’t a complete idiot.
“Hurry up and use your balls to eliminate him,” Bakugou said. As loath as Bakugou was to admit it, Kaminari had delivered the finishing blow, so he deserved to be the one to take meat boy out.
Kaminari stood frozen with his mouth agape like the idiot he really was.
Bakugou crossed his arms and scowled. “Do it before I change my mind.”
As Kaminari rushed over to eliminate the meathead, Bakugou walked over to where Kirishima still squirmed on the ground as a fucking meatball. They were all still fucking meatballs.
Breath catching in his throat, he picked up meatball Kirishima. “What the hell?”
Behind him, meat boy laughed. Tucking Kirishima protectively under his arm, Bakugou turned to face the loser.
“Wondering why your friend isn’t back to normal?” the squinty-eyed bastard questioned as he knelt on the ground. All his buttons were lit up, indicating that he was eliminated from the exam, but he was still grandstanding like he held all the damn cards. “Wondering why all of them are still in this state? It’s because my quirk can’t be broken, except by one thing. True love’s kiss.”
Bakugou snarled. “What the actual fuck? This isn’t a fucking fairytale.” His cheeks felt warmer all the sudden.
“There’s no way that’s true! No way! What’s going to happen to Kirishima?!” Kaminari wailed, pacing back and forth next to the giant dick masquerading as a human being.
“Denial won’t change anything.” Meat boy smirked.
Bakugou held Kirishima with both hands and studied the wriggling meatball before him. Tufts of Kirishima’s signature fiery red hair and sharp shark teeth poked out of the squirming mass. What the fuck was Bakugou supposed to do now? He began to breathe harder. It was his fault that Kirishima was like this in the first place, but breaking a quirk with a kiss sounded sketchy as fuck. And even if it was true, there’s no way in hell he was anyone’s true love.
The bastard laughed again. “It’s just too bad. Your friend there won’t be able to change back and he’ll fail the exam. Don’t worry too much, though. There’s always next time.”
Bakugou felt his lungs seize. Kirishima couldn’t fail because of him.
Turning his back on the squinty-eyed loser, Bakugou said, “Knock him out, dunce face. He just keeps spewing shit.”
Kaminari stopped his pacing and glared at the meathead. “Right.”
The bastard started going off about not hitting an opponent when they’re down, but Bakugou ignored him.
Staring into meatball Kirishima’s eyes, Bakugou searched for an answer. All he got was more wriggling. “Ugh.” He wanted to let off an explosion in frustration, but he couldn’t do that while holding Kirishima.
Instead, he took in a deep breath. He owed it to Kirishima to try. It wouldn’t work, but he had to try.
Holding Kirishima in one hand, Bakugou brought him up to his face. He screwed his eyes shut. Aiming for where he thought meatball Kirishima’s mouth was, Bakugou quickly kissed him, then pulled back. Behind him, Bakugou heard Kaminari shock the meat bastard, and he fell blessedly silent as the weight in Bakugou’s hand seemed to change. He didn’t want to open his eyes to check because he didn’t know which was worse: that the stupid true love’s kiss thing worked, or that it didn’t.
“Oh, crap.” Bakugou heard Kaminari swear.
Then—
“Thanks, bro.”
Bakugou opened his eyes. In front of him, Kirishima was wholly himself again, his hair glaringly red and smiling with his sharp teeth proudly on display, like the sun shined out of his fucking ass or something. Bakugou felt like he could breathe freely again. Except that he choked on his next breath in. Did this mean— No fucking way— He couldn’t be Kirishima’s true love. Could he?
Behind Bakugou, Kaminari muttered “Crap” again and again. For once, Bakugou agreed with the idiot.
“That was real manly of you,” Kirishima said, then his cheeks started to turn pink as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. Bakugou finally realized he was holding the other. “But, uh, I think he was just messing with you, dude.”
A horrible sinking feeling pulled at Bakugou’s gut. “What.” He dropped Kirishima’s hand like Kirishima was the one with explosive palms.
That bright fucking smile still on his face even as he laughed nervously, Kirishima tilted his head to the side and waved his hand around them. For the first time, Bakugou looked beyond Kirishima’s glowing face. All around them, former meatballs were once again students, stretching and looking about in confusion. It took a second for the terrible truth to sink in. That squinty-eyed bastard was a damn liar. He just needed to be knocked totally unconscious for the meatball effect to wear off.
“Fuck!”
Bakugou turned around and charged at the loser lying on the ground. He didn’t care if meat boy was unconscious, he’d beat him until he blacked out all over again.
“Woah, woah!” Kirishima jumped in front of Bakugou and put his hands on Bakugou’s chest to stop him.
And he did stop, but only because he didn’t want to hurt Kirishima after he went to all the trouble of making a giant ass of himself for the chance that Kirishima could finish the exam.
“He’s already down and has failed the exam. That’s punishment enough, yeah?” Kirishima said, his hands still on Bakugou’s chest. Bakugou’s stupid heart was beating too fast under those hands for no good reason. He just hoped Kirishima couldn’t feel it.
“Ooh! You guys gonna make out again?” Kaminari called.
Seeming to just realize he was basically fondling Bakugou, Kirishima dropped his hands, cheeks flushing redder.
Bakugou growled. “Shut the fuck up, dunce face! You don’t know shit!” He let off a couple AP shots as warning by Kaminari’s feet. The idiot yelped and stumbled back, falling on his ass.
“You know,” Kirishima started, once again capturing Bakugou’s attention. He looked Bakugou square in the eyes. “I’d like that. The k— kissing. I mean, if you’re up for it and you weren’t just feeling like you owed me or something ‘cause I pushed you out of the way earlier.”
A warm feeling rose in Bakugou’s chest as his face heated. He had a feeling that he was competing with Kirishima in how red their cheeks could get.
Without warning, a ball sailed toward Kirishima’s unprotected back. Grabbing Kirishima’s ridiculously useless sash that did nothing to cover his chest, Bakugou yanked Kirishima towards him with his right hand while using his left to let off an explosion that incinerated the ball. Around them, the other students had regained their senses and were engaging in battle once more. Shit. Bakugou shouldn’t have been so distracted.
With Kirishima inches away, Bakugou said gruffly, “There. I pulled you out of the way, so you know I’m not obligated or some shit. I’d like it, too. Later.”
Bakugou tried not to think too much about kissing Kirishima for real. He was surprised his whole body hadn’t gone up in flames with how overheated he felt. And if Kirishima’s stunned expression was anything to go by, he wasn’t faring much better. Bakugou couldn’t help but feel a little smug at that.
“All right,” Bakugou said, releasing his hold on Kirishima’s sash and facing the crowd of extras with a smirk. “Enough fucking around. We have some asses to kick.”
Stunned expression wiped away by a brilliant smile, Kirishima stepped up beside him. “Let’s do this. Ready, Kaminari?”
The idiot picked himself off the ground, shooting worried looks at the growing chaos around them. “R— Ready.”
Laughing riotously, Bakugou let off a string of explosions as Kirishima hardened his fists and punched his nearest opponent. They fucking owned these extras.