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When Charles had called him into his office, Alex braced to be in trouble. He'd been improving, a lot, with his aim. He was practicing in the fallout shelter every chance he got, because he wanted to do well, wanted to make Charles proud. He needed to prove to the other man that he hadn't made a mistake in taking him on.
The truth was, Alex still had nightmares. About prison, about the explosions that came when he lost control. About the fire that had consumed the one guy that'd felt...right. The one guy who had seen him, and hadn't seen a monster. The one guy that had made him think that maybe he might be more'n just a killer.
But he had fucked up. He had failed. And now, he had to prove to Charles he could do better.
So he worked with the younger kids, the ones that were scared of what they could do, that thought they were evil or messed up or bad. He taught'em, helped with their powers, helped cook. He practiced his aim using the targeting device, and was making sure he took at least one shot a day without it on - because he wanted to prove that he could be more than just the energy source, that he could control it. And at night he was haunted by the idea that he couldn't. That he was just another mess up.
He knew how it went. Kids went from care to juvie to jail. He'd been set on that path even before the fire inside of him had been unlocked. Charles had given him a chance. And he'd never forget that. The fact Charles had shown him hope. Had believed in him.
He was determined to pay Charles back. After what had happened, when Charles had been in agony, he'd helped Hank create the stretcher. He'd carried him. He'd worked hard, given the man his loyalty because hell, Charles deserved it.
And even so, doubt clawed away at him. This was a nice house, a nice school. For kids that were better than he was, kids who were worth something good.
Never once in his life had being called into a teacher's office been anything other than a mess, and he didn't see why today'd be anything different. He wasn't sure what, exactly, he'd done wrong. He just had the certainty of it, a heavy weight of guilt in his chest, guilt that he couldn't even put into words.
He just didn't deserve good things. Because he'd been given a good thing, once, and he'd killed him. Nothing would ever be alright, not after that loss. The school didn't need him, and losing it would hurt but it'd be deserved.
Alex, can you come to my office, I need to speak to you. Charles had asked, and Alex went, wondering as he did so if he should have paused to pack up his room beforehand. He still kept half his stuff in a bag. He couldn't risk not being ready to leave when he was moved on. Charles wasn't a bastard though. He'd let Alex pack up his stuff, wouldn't throw him out with nothing.
He knocked on the door.
"Come in!" Charles called, and Alex walked inside, heading straight to the chair opposite Charles's desk so that the two of them were the same height, and stared at the table. There was a cigarette burn mark on the wood, which surprised him because he knew Charles didn't smoke - Charles hated smoking. He sat there tensely, waiting to hear what he'd done wrong.
Charles cleared his throat. "Alex, I can hear you worrying. First off, let me tell you you aren't in trouble. I simply found out something, and I wanted to tell you before the rest of the school."
Alex had a sudden panicked moment in which he thought Charles was about to admit to being sick, but he breathed through it, and waited.
Charles swallowed. "After everything, I did some examination of what was going on around the CIA site we were at. I wanted to know how they were handling Department X, since they were saying there are no mutants. I learned a lot. One thing in particular, I learned. And ... I found out that study was being done on mutants. And I asked Erik and his friends to help us. The results they brought back were better than I could have hoped for."
"Oh?" Alex frowned, not knowing what that had to do with him. He heard the door open behind him, but he stayed staring ahead, even as someone approached, until strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, a familiar warmth surrounding him, soothing him, protecting him.
He leaned back into it, his mind refusing to believe what his senses were telling him. His body, though, acted on instinct, leaning against Darwin, pressing into the warmth of his touch. He couldn't speak. He thought if he did he might shatter the moment, might lose Darwin just as he got him back.
"I'm here," Darwin breathed, and he gave Alex's shoulders a tighter squeeze for a moment, and Alex could have sobbed at the tenderness of it, at the reality of him after so long.
"I killed you." Alex whispered, unable to understand. That dreadful moment played itself over and over in his head, and he knew he'd failed. He saw Darwin's face as he reached out towards him every night when he went to sleep. He was haunted by it, mesmerised by it. And yet here was Darwin, holding him as though they had never parted. "How... how are you here?" he asked, overwhelmed by the emotion of the moment.
"I guess I adapted... there... there was a long time when I wasn't... I felt almost like fog. Not real. And then I got to the point I was more solid but it wasn't... it wasn't enough. And then scientists found me...and it wasn't... it was bad. But I survived, because I knew you'd be out there. I just had to hold out until I could get home to you..." Darwin's face was nuzzling into his hair. "And I did..."
Alex turned, twisting in his chair, looking up at Darwin. The man smiled, that lazy smile that Alex and fallen in love with, and he stumbled to his feet, throwing his arms around Darwin's shoulders and kissing him deeply, feeling Darwin's smile against his lips.
He knew he was being obvious, knew Charles would know how he felt, what his inclinations were. But he didn't care, not when Darwin was real, not when Darwin was in his arms, when the nightmare was over, when he'd been given a second chance. He blinked, taking a few shaky breaths in an attempt to stop himself from crying, because he couldn't believe it, couldn't understand it.
"I've said he can have the room beside yours," Charles told Alex softly. "Perhaps you could show him... there's a few hours before dinner, and we can introduce him then."
"I should cook-"
"Hank can handle it tonight, Alex. I'm sure that the two of you have a lot to discuss." Charles gave him a knowing smile, and gestured towards the door. Emboldened by the fact Darwin was here, Alex gripped his hand, and pulled him to the door, looking forwards to the chance to get reacquainted.