Chapter Text
Zuko knew good things couldn’t last for long. He should have suspected it to spit in his face just as he was beginning to let his guard down and finally consider giving himself to this new life. Being Li the tea server wasn’t so bad, and seeing Uncle happy always filled the firebender with a rejuvenating warmth that spread throughout his limbs. It made it that much easier to ignore the unpleasant customers who glared, stared or complained too much for Zuko’s thinning patience. Their meager lifestyle wasn’t as bad as he originally thought, it was most certainly better than his time on his ship. He didn’t need anyone else’s permission to get the budget or supplies his crew needed, and he could go wherever he pleased without being judged or restricted. To a degree.
He could technically still go wherever he pleased, but that was often under the cover of night where he could slip into shadows with ease and enjoy the true freedom of being the Blue Spirit. Untethered by laws and allegiances, he moved like liquid through every boundary and barrier the world erected before him. He could cast off the expectations of Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, and even Li the tea server, and live to his fullest.
At least, he could but life had a way of mucking that up for him as he stared through the crowded streets on his way to work and found the wispy traces of water tribe blue and dark skin bobbing through the market of the lower ring. The tribesman looked like he had a stack of papers tucked under his arm as he wandered alone, pasting them up on walls and handing them to passersby. Zuko’s curiosity was silenced by his refusal to be noticed and recognized, turning quickly to take a back lesser used path to Pao’s. He cursed his decision to go out alone, splitting away from Uncle just to get an early stroll in to greet Agni’s light as it stretched across the city.
He slipped through narrow alleys and scaled a rooftop or two to ensure he had shaken any potential for the tribesman or his nearby friends from spotting him. It took him the long way to Pao’s but delivered him to the backdoor where he normally took his breaks. Uncle left it open from where he was sweeping the steps, allowing Zuko to slide through without making a sound to collect his apron.
They opened half an hour later as their regulars came in a steady flood of orders and chattering that filled the quiet tea house with a lively familiar energy. Pao was observing for the morning and watched with fondness as Zuko filled trays and cleared tables, wiping them clean as new customers swept in to fill the emptied seats.
“Li, table five needs your attention.” Pao urged him from behind the counter as Jin paid for her morning cup of Jasmine and went off to her own job. Zuko cocked a brow, surprised and confused as he turned to find the table he just stepped away from cleaning was already filled with an awaiting customer in water tribe blue.
His heart climbed in his throat and thundered until his breath drew short. Panic crept like a tight band around his chest as bright blue eyes followed him the way a hawk tracks a meadow vole through the brush from its perch. It was a sensation Zuko rarely felt since he left the Fire Nation all those years ago. The feeling of being prey in someone else’s eyes. The feeling of being pinned to the spot, unable to force himself to move or breathe. He wanted to flee, to race out the back of the tea shop and rush back to the safety of their cramped tidy apartment and pretend the water tribesman had never even entered the shop, but it was too late. He was watching Zuko with expectancy and Pao was shoving him forward with a similar look though his boss held less heat in his gaze.
Zuko’s footsteps stumbled, causing him to nearly trip over a chair leg as he approached the table the tribesman was seated at. He was tucked into the corner and smiled up at the firebender. To anyone else, it may have looked pleasant and friendly, but to Zuko, it felt wolfish. With sharp teeth lined with dark promises. Suddenly the carefully crafted life he had built here in Ba Sing Se was teetering daintily on crystal foundations. All it would take is one strike to topple it all until only the shattered remnants remained for him to cut himself on.
“I’m surprised to see you here.” The tribesman greeted warmly, his voice twisted up with an edge of amusement as he inspected the tea stained apron and the shabby cheap clothes he managed to purchase with their meager savings. At least it was better than what the prince had been wearing all those weeks ago when it was just him and his ostrich horse traversing the Earth Kingdom alone. He reminded himself that he was lucky to have food in his belly, a roof over his head and clean clothes on his back. He was lucky- he was always lucky.
That’s all he had now. Luck, and even that was hardly enough to keep him from stumbling into one bad situation after another. It couldn’t stop the tribesman from wandering into Pao’s shop of all places like he knew Zuko would be here and unable to fight back if anything happened. The Dai Li were just a call away, then Zuko would be dragged off and arrested like Jet was.
“I work here.” Zuko answered, once he managed to make his voice reach his lips, then lowered it to barely above a whisper as he added. “And my name is Li. My Uncle and I are here as refugees.”
The water tribe boy raised an incredulous brow at that, giving Zuko a look that clearly stated he didn’t believe him. The prince ignored it and surged ahead, returning his voice to the normal service volume. “What do you want to order?”
This question only seemed to deepen the pinched lines across the tribesman’s brow before a bark of amused laughter erupted jaggedly from his chest. He caught himself, stared Zuko down a few more seconds then huffed out another laugh. “ Spirits , you’re serious aren’t you?”
Zuko scowled but the strength of the look wasn’t there. He just felt tired and anxious, eager to get this encounter over with so he can take his break or make some half assed excuse to Uncle that he wasn’t feeling well and go home. He couldn’t stomach the indignity like this. The humiliation of just how far he has fallen.
He knew Uncle Iroh didn’t see it that way, but Zuko couldn’t understand how he was so content living like this, barely scraping by and struggling for an ounce of respect. Sure, their lives at the start of his banishment weren’t much better but at least they still had something to show for their efforts and a crew to command, and they weren’t settled in a crappy apartment with a leaky roof and a door that didn’t shut right so they could hear the neighbors through their paper thin walls all hours of the night. If he weren’t already so accustomed to Uncle’s tendency to snore like a komodo rhino, he would be bothered and kept awake all night with how bad the other tenants were.
“Alright, alright. Relax.” The tribesman raised his hands placatingly, his expression softened to something more open and friendly with less teeth flashed in the prince’s direction. “I don’t know much about tea, so I guess surprise me.”
Zuko stared at the other boy and scowled. “If you don’t like tea, then why are you here?”
The boy shrugged. “I noticed you were headed this direction. I got curious.” His lips twitched up into that dangerous smile again that had Zuko’s stomach tightening with unease. He couldn’t understand why exactly, but the flash of the boy’s eyes unsettled him and had him taking a wary step back. “I had to make sure you weren’t up to something nefarious.”
The prince bristled at that but self-preservation and instincts told him not to engage this one. It made his skin crawl, the way the boy watched him as he stiffly stepped back, afraid to turn his back outright on the tribesman until he had at least one sturdy table between them. When he reached the kitchen, he put the boy’s order in.
“Table five wants to be surprised.” His words were stilted, drawing Uncle’s attention to glance over at him with concern. His softer gold eyes gave him a worried look.
“Are you alright, nephew?”
Zuko attempted to nod, his lips pursed into a thin line as his good eye darted back through the doorway to spy the tribesman’s seat before dragging his attention back to address the older man. His worry only grew stronger as the prince felt the color flicker out of him a little. Every instinct in his body was telling him to get far away from the water tribe boy and he couldn’t understand why.
“I just don’t feel very well today Uncle.” His voice was low, barely a whisper between them. The older man looked skeptical, reluctant to accept the admission but eventually resigned as he ushered him closer, away from the doorway.
“You should head home and get some rest then. A man needs his rest.” Uncle Iroh assured, patting him firmly on the shoulder before pulling Zuko’s apron off for him to hang up. “I’ll let Pao know.”
The prince gave a jerky nod of agreement, and turned away, taking the back entrance to leave. Without any walls to block him in or any act to put on in front of others, his feet moved swiftly through the streets as he raced as quickly as possible away from the tea shop. He didn’t know whether he intended to go home right away or not, but he felt like anywhere was better than staying close by. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the water tribe boy felt off. He felt dangerous since their last real encounter in the North Pole. Like something had changed, or that Zuko was only just now seeing the potential in his adversary. He felt unsteady, like the ground was made of crumbled rocks balancing precariously beneath him. One false move and he’ll come crashing down into a dark ravine that’ll swallow him up.
He hated that feeling, and he wanted to make it stop. So he ran until his lungs burned and his legs shook with weariness, then forced himself to keep running until the streets were no longer familiar and the weight of a crowd was no longer watching him as he pushed past with barely mumbled words of apology. Finally, his feet started to slow as he walked, turning to the shadows of the larger residential buildings that dotted the streets as he neared the Middle Ring. The temptation to cross the boundaries was present, but he didn’t dare go much further, at least not without his Blue Spirit attire to keep him safe.
Turning away from the walls leading into the Middle Ring, he wandered along the outskirts and wove back through various alleys and side streets, finding his feet as they carried him on autopilot. Zuko was still trying to wrap his head around all of this, finding it hard to believe that the Avatar’s friend was here in the city, and not just here, but the water tribe boy knew where Zuko was, had even come looking for him with the purpose of checking in on him. He said it so casually as if he had no care in the world that he was face to face with a firebender. The last time he saw the tribesman was at the North Pole when the avatar had escaped him and Zuko had woken in the bison’s saddle, tied up while Zhao monologued about his newest horrible plan like an evil villain in the prince’s favorite play scrolls.
He had caught a brief glimpse of the tribesman as he slipped away while Uncle and Zhao argued then hunted the Admiral down himself after he fled from the oasis. It felt like a lifetime ago now that he thought back on it. It felt tedious and left him feeling cold and bitter inside now because he knew he didn’t have a proper plan in place. He didn’t have a way back home or even a way back out of the North Pole that didn’t result in their untimely deaths.
Zuko had just been so angry and desperate and hurt that all he could do to keep himself going was one final reckless grab for what he lost. It didn’t matter what the consequences were in the aftermath, he just needed something or he’d crumble. It took him a while with a lot of struggle and pain to understand his new purpose. To let go and move on, for both their sakes. He didn’t really count their momentary encounter in the abandoned Earth Kingdom town when they faced Azula, since the prince was far more preoccupied and couldn’t really remember much of the whole ordeal aside from the shock of seeing Uncle sprawled across the ground and the stench of burned flesh filling his nostrils.
It appears the universe wasn’t done taunting him as the tribesman returned once again and Zuko had never felt more afraid of facing such a daunting task. He was torn between the dying flame of his old goals and the new fire that burned with the softly spoken promises and reluctant compromises he made for Uncle Iroh’s happiness. He couldn’t tell if the other boy was always this unnerving or if it was a new development over the last few months. Something about him set off so many alarm bells inside Zuko’s head and made him want to maintain a considerable distance just to be safe. It ignited the heat beneath his fingers as fire itched along his skin and spread, wild and wary. It was getting harder to control the longer he stayed in close proximity to the other boy, like he expected him to lunge and strike at a moment’s notice.
Not even Azula could rival that uncomfortable sense of dread that he was a fox antelope in a room facing down a tigerdillo. Perhaps, he rationalized, it made things worse knowing that he couldn’t defend himself from the tribesman’s assault should he decide to try a hand in a fight like Jet had. One delusional teenager ranting about fire nation spies and firebenders could be dismissed, but a second one that also accompanies the avatar of all people, with numerous witnesses and extensive proof would be enough to send both he and Uncle Iroh to an Earth Kingdom prison. Or worse.
Zuko’s fingers balled into tight fists at the thought of what Earth Kingdom soldiers do to firebenders. He dreaded the thought, felt the curling ache of fear knot itself up inside his stomach until he felt sick with grief and worry. His head was spinning at the dozens of horrific outcomes that threatened their lives now, and it was all Zuko’s fault. His carelessness led them to this point. Uncle’s life was at stake, his own life was being risked and their fates dangled in the clutches of the water tribe teen and whatever mercy he decided to bestow upon them. He was trapped and it was a feeling that the prince despised more than anything else. He wouldn’t be able to fight it, and he didn’t have the luxury of fleeing it anymore. He locked himself behind these walls, like the prison they were when he first arrived, and cheerfully accepted it all for Uncle’s sake. He was right from the start. This city would be the end of him one way or another.
Uncle Iroh was worried about him after he left the tea shop in such a hurry. Apparently, Pao had delivered the tea to the tribesman and he never spoke a word about Zuko’s absence other than questioning the change in server so suddenly. Uncle didn’t understand why Zuko had left, he hadn’t seen the boy that made him sick with fear, and he didn’t understand why the prince had stayed out all day, only creeping back to their apartment at a late hour. He ate the bowl of jook Uncle had given to him without question and retired to his futon, slumping with exhaustion heavy in every limb. His mind still raced and sleep came in fits and starts before he eventually gave up and waited for the sun to rise.
Zuko didn’t know whether the absence of the water tribe teenager was a relief or not when he followed Uncle into Pao's, looking worse for wear. Every time the entrance rang with the noisy chime of the bell alerting him to newcomers, the tight knot of anxiety only worsened as he anticipated the visit of the Dai Li come to take them both away. Other times, a flash of blue in the corner of his eye had his heart leaping into his throat and his voice dying on his lips. He was distracted and jumpy as he navigated the narrow aisles between tables and tried not to stumble with the drink trays. He fumbled and spilled drinks, tripped on chair legs and snapped his head up with white faced horror everytime a shade of blue passed by his peripheral.
His Uncle’s worries only grew, accompanied by Pao who urged the prince to take a longer break at a much earlier hour than usual. Uncle brought him a cup of calming Jasmine tea and took care not to mention the way Zuko’s hands trembled when he took it or how his eyes never lifted to meet Iroh’s. He imagined he looked quite the miserable mess but Zuko couldn’t find the spare energy to care. This sense of not knowing what was going to happen, the inevitable dread of the unknown was haunting him.
He looked on the verge of keeling over when two large Earth Kingdom guards walked in and took a seat by the door. Zuko nearly inhaled his tea and sputtered pathetically as he tried to catch his breath and avoid asphyxiating on Jasmine.
“Nephew.” Uncle’s voice was dripping with disquiet for him, one hand resting on his back to comfort his irritation. Pao was forced to check on the customers while the two firebenders collected themselves in the back, managing to greet the guards and gather their orders. The older man accepted the orders, drawing away from Zuko only when the prince waved him off with a quiet rasp to get the teas made. Iroh’s eyes constantly flickered to check on him as the prince cradled the half drank cup between his palms as the firebender focused on the feel of the heat against his skin and concentrated on the task of maintaining it if only to find something to distract himself from the knot of anxiety fraying in his gut.
Pao delivered the finished teas to the table and returned with brows knitted together in a look of concern as Zuko remained unmoving from the crate, his attention fixed on the cup of tea and the rising steam that rolled up from the surface in steady white swirls. He could feel his boss’s eyes on him and ignored the sudden urge to hunch his shoulders defensively and scowl back.
“Mushi, maybe Li should head home and rest for today. And perhaps take a couple days off.” The idea sounded like it pained the owner to say knowing he was losing one of his only workers but the fact of the matter was that Zuko was useless to him as he was now as much as it bothered the prince to admit it. He was strung out and twitchy, rising to the defensive at every sound and flash of movement. He couldn’t afford to keep spilling tea or risk breaking the cups that will inevitably come out of his already pitiful pay.
Uncle agreed quickly and promised Pao that he will ensure his nephew gets plenty of rest until he is feeling better. Zuko doubted he’ll ever feel better about all of this, but relented with a quiet nod of reluctant defeat. Iroh gave his shoulder a gentle pat before drawing the apron up around Zuko’s shoulders and hung it on its designated hook. Pao drifted out of the kitchen long enough for the two men to share a moment of privacy to talk.
“Go home and rest, my nephew. Please.” He urged as he accepted the forgotten but still warm cup of tea from Zuko’s grasp and set it on the counter. “Straight home, alright?”
He nodded stiffly. “I promise, Uncle.” For once, it was a promise he meant to keep.
The spirits were clearly working against him as Zuko opted to take the quieter backstreets home to their apartment and avoid the crowded main streets that brimmed with the energetic rush of consumers and artisans. Rounding a corner with the shadow of his nerves ebbing slowly, the prince didn’t notice the silhouette that stalked him from the alley until he was backed against a stone wall with a hand steering his shoulder firmly to press against the cool surface. Zuko stilled and stared up at a pair of ice blue eyes and that similar amused grin that taunted him. His hands had raised before him with the intention to defend but the prickling heat on his fingertips was snuffed cold by the firm press against his shoulder and the lazy stance of a knee slotted between his.
His heart was thundering inside his chest as the other boy gave him a curious look and frowned after a moment as if just noticing something was off about this entire encounter. “You’re avoiding me.” It wasn’t a question and Zuko hadn’t the energy to supply a proper answer even if it were. The voice in his head screamed Danger!
Golden eyes were already searching for an escape as his body wound tight with anticipation for an opening. The first chance he got, he intended to spring forward and run like Koh was on his heels. The hand still lingering on his shoulder tightened its grip ensuring he didn’t move from his spot but the boy’s stance relaxed more and left more of an opening as if inviting him to linger and chat like he didn’t currently have a proverbial blade against Zuko’s throat.
Swallowing hard, the prince forced his voice to work as he spoke up, the low rasp sounded brittle to his own ear causing him to wince. “What do you want?”
The tribesman regarded him thoughtfully before answering with the same casualness he took everything with. “You.” It felt like a horribly planned joke as Zuko laughed, sharp and jagged as it scraped up his throat like broken glass. It sounded painfully unamused.
“Are you going to finally turn me in to the Dai Li?” He swallowed hard, his eyes flitting from the entrances of the street to meet the other boy’s icy stare as he added. “I won’t run away if you promise not to tell them about Uncle Iroh. You can take me but please leave him alone.”
The boy frowned, his eyes flashed in that eerily inhuman way that made Zuko’s skin crawl with unease as he stared him down hard. “Zuko-”
“ Li .” He corrected automatically, then paused and shook his head with a grimace. “Please.”
“Li.” The boy looked like he had tasted something bitter as he sounded out the singular syllable like it personally offended him. Zuko wasn’t regretful of that fact. There was a heavy sigh of resignation as the tribesman continued. “I have no intention of handing you over to those Dai Li bastards.”
His jaw gaped, bewildered and conflicted, but before he could say anything else, the boy looked puzzled and then alarmed. “Wait, is that why you’ve been so freaked out since yesterday? You thought I was- I’m not- that’s just plain evil! I wouldn’t do that.” He shook his head, icy eyes going wide as he drew his hand from Zuko’s shoulder and gestured wildly. “Like I get you can be bad and all, but handing you off to those guys would be just plain cruel.” The prince ignored the way those words cut into him with the painful knowledge that he had done just that to Jet just a couple weeks ago.
“Then why-” Zuko’s voice caught, mouth gone dry as he fidgeted and straightened up. He didn’t draw away from the wall just yet, finding it helped keep him standing as his legs shook and his mind raced. “I don’t understand what’s going on. You said-”
“That I was going to keep an eye on you myself.” The boy assured, finishing his previous statement. Zuko found it hard to piece those two things together in a way that made sense. His thoughts were too frantic and he was too frazzled and exhausted to make heads or tails of this conversation.
“Why?” He blanched.
The boy grinned widely. “Because I can and I feel like it.” That still didn’t make sense to Zuko but he quickly gave up trying and shook his head slowly. He swayed on his feet before rising to his full height and gesturing to brush the boy’s cautious hand away that tried to steady him.
“I’m going home.”
The boy stared after him a moment but made no move to stop him, instead strolling along by his side with the same casual air as if they were old friends and not long time enemies. He supposed they hadn’t actually fought the last time they met, but Zuko was too busy chasing down Azula to keep her from capturing the avatar and struggling through the aftermath of starvation to keep his head on well enough to navigate the complexities of what may have been an unofficial truce on the grounds of they all had beef with his little sister. His life was chaotic enough as is, he didn’t need to add this extra dose of crazy on top of it all. He prayed to Agni but even the sun’s blessed rays were muted behind the clouds that shaded the city, leaving Zuko to wallow in his confusion alone.
The thought of trying to flee or shake the tribesman off came to mind but he was keenly aware he didn't have the energy to outrun him right now. It felt futile as they walked the rest of the way to the shabby tenant housing they lived in. Water Tribe turned to address Zuko after a moment, stopping in his tracks at the mouth of the pathway leading to the stairs. Zuko hesitated in his steps, wary of turning his back on the boy even though he had his word he wouldn't get the Prince arrested. He still wasn't sure if he could trust it or not.
"What?"
The boy inspected the complex with a frown then shook the expression off, directing that same casual smile towards him. "I'll see you later, Li. "
Zuko raised his brow and watched, shocked as the boy gave a farewell wave over his shoulder and left. He didn't say anything more. He didn't try to force Zuko to invite him in or occupy his time. Just….saw him home safely and left.
'Spirits! What in Agni's name was that?'
He has never felt so confused as he stared at the empty spot the boy stood then forced himself to tear his gaze away. It was better not to look a gift ostrich horse in the beak. Striding up the steps, he slipped into their apartment, never feeling more grateful for these thin walls and the crappy lock on the door that he slipped the bolt into and sagged against the flimsy wood feeling just a touch more comfortable now.