Chapter Text
8 years into their relationship, Win still felt like he was living a dream. His soulmate could not have been more perfect. Sure, he and Bright have had their petty fights here and there but what couple didn’t? At the end of the day, they made sure na talagang tinutupad nila ang pangako nila sa isa’t isa.
That they would choose each other everyday
And they did
Wala naman masyadong nagbago sa kanilang dalawa. Well, bukod sa may mga trabaho na sila at sa iisang bahay na lang sila naninirahan. Both men finished their Bachelor of Arts in Psychology degrees but chose to pursue different paths with it. Win used it as his pre-law, graduated with distinctions in his law degree and he is now a practicing lawyer in a law firm that he loves. Akalain niyo yon? Nakahanap pa siya ng paggagamitan ng kadaldalan niya tas malaki pa ang sahod? Si Bright naman chose to pursue Clinical Psychology and now works at a center as a clinician which Win thinks is absolutely perfect for him. Bright had always been quiet but he used this to his advantage. Bright sees what people don’t say out loud and now that he’s gotten much better at comforting other people (Thanks to Win who taught him), he has turned out to be such an empathetic and dedicated clinician.
In terms of their relationship in those 8 years? Their relationship grew along with them but not much has changed there either. They were still them… but more too. Bright had kept his promise to Win that more than just lovers, they were still best friends. Though now they were also life partners, sharing everything--even the bills with each other. They still call each other “soulmate” everyday but with the addition of “love” and other silly pet names. They still listen to music together everyday but now on their way to work, siomai rice is still their comfort food and Bright had perfected his mom’s recipe just for Win. They still love each other just as much, if not more.
Everyone who knows them sees them as the goal. The dream.
But they aren’t perfect. And 8 years into their relationship is when Win was hit hard with this realization...
That night, Win walked into their kitchen to find Bright standing over their stove, frying his mom’s homemade recipe of fried siomai. Just early this morning, Win had pouted to his soulmate at 2AM and complained that he was so stressed with work that he was in dire need of a fried siomai fix. Bright only rolled his eyes at him but had asked him how many he wanted anyway. That’s why Win was no longer surprised to come home to Bright, only clad in his boxers and an apron, preparing his favorite meal for him.
With a fond smile on his face, Win wrapped his arms around his soulmate from behind and pecked him on the cheek. “Hi soulmate. Nasunod agad ang request ko ah?”
Bright placed one hand on top of Win’s intertwined palms that rested over his washboard abs, the other hand busy frying their dinner. He turned his head to meet Win’s eyes, his lips spread out in a wide grin. “Matitiis ba kita?”
“Hindi.” Win snickered with full honesty.
“Hindi nga.” Bright agreed as he put down the spatula he was holding and used the same hand to playfully tug on the tie Win was still wearing. “Kiss?”
Win eagerly met his boyfriend’s puckered lips in a quick and tender greeting bago siya bumitaw at sumandal sa kitchen island nila. “Tinext ako nila Dew. Ba’t di ka daw sumasagot sa phone?”
“Ah fuck, oo nga. I left my phone upstairs. Soulmate, pakuha naman oh? It should be in my pants’ pocket. I think I dumped it into the dirty clothes hamper.”
Tumango na lang si Win at nagtungo sa kwarto nila para hanapin ang cellphone ni Bright. Agad niya naman nahanap ang pantalon ni Bright ngunit wala naman yung telepono sa bulsa nito gaya ng sabi niya. He then spotted the strap of Bright’s work bag sticking out from under the bed. Hindi naman yon usually andon kaya kinuha niya na lang ito at chineck na rin kung andoon ang hinahanap niya.
Napakamot sa ulo si Win nang makita na andun nga yung cellphone. “Hay nako etong forgetful boy na ‘to. Pantalon na pala ito ngayon?” As he pulled the phone out, he spotted a small deep red colored box beneath it. Parang nalagot ang hininga ni Win sa nakita. His heart knew exactly what that was. He knew he shouldn’t look at it. Privacy dapat yon ni Bright... pero hindi niya rin napigilan ang sarili niya. Win carefully pulled the box out and ran a finger over the golden inscription that read: “Cartier”.
With a deep breath, he flipped open the box and nestled in the middle of the black fabric was the most beautiful golden ring he had ever laid eyes on. From his squatted position on the floor, Win fell backwards on his ass in shock. Nanginginig niyang hinawakan ng mahigpit ang kahon sa isang kamay niya while his other hand was covering his mouth that had fallen open in complete disbelief.
Bright was planning to propose?
Win should be happy. Any other person would be happy at the thought of the love of their life proposing… but Win?
Win felt nothing but dread.
Kung ayaw mong balikan
Ang iyong mga nakaraan
Paano ka lalayo?
Pa'no ka tutungo
Sa paglaya ng 'yong puso
Para siyang sinuntok sa tiyan at pakiramdam niya ay masusuka siya sa nakikita niya. Mahal niya si Bright. There was no mistaking that. Win loved him with all his heart but Win did not believe in marriage.
Not one bit.
Marriage may be for other people but certainly not for his family. Win felt bitterness and anger course through his veins at the thought of the “family” he once had. They probably didn’t even count as a family because Win didn’t remember a time where they were ever happy. Win’s parents were married but Win had never seen them act as a married couple. Win’s father was always cheating on his mother, only coming home if his mistresses were too busy for him while Win’s mother always took her stress out on Win and his older sister. Her hands never hit them but her words were sharp like knives. Win couldn’t even remember a night where everyone was home and no one was yelling at each other. However, despite the dysfunctionality of their marriage, Win’s parents stayed together just because it was easier to stay married than to have an annulment. They stayed together because a piece of paper binded them to a promise that they no longer meant. Win and his sister had to suffer this set-up until they were old enough to leave home. Win’s parents had completely destroyed the idea of marriage in Win’s head and when Win was old enough to understand, he decided that he detested the idea of marriage. It wasn’t real. It was just a trap to force two people to stay together even when they didn’t love each other anymore. He decided then and there that he would never subject himself to that situation.
Because of his family and his parents’ marriage, Win wasn’t even sure if he believed in love. At least not the kind of love that was reciprocated. He didn’t think he would ever be worthy of it. If his own parents didn’t love him, how could anyone else? Win thought he was destined to chase after people he loved without ever being loved in return but that all changed when he met Bright. Hindi naman kasi akalain ni Win na makikilala niya si Bright. He never thought he would ever find someone whom he loved as much as he did Bright at mas lalong hindi niya naisip na may magmamahal pala sa kanya tulad ng pagmamahal ni Bright para sa kanya.
“Fuck.” Napasabunot si Win sa sarili niya. Si Bright. Pano si Bright?
Win felt a rush of panic at the thought of not spending the rest of his life with Bright. People could stay together kahit di sila kasal diba? People didn’t need to be married to spend forever together right? Their love could be more authentic because they weren’t binded by a contract. Win wanted to stay with Bright because they loved each other, not because a piece of paper told them they had to.
Hindi na napansin ni Win na tumutulo na pala ang mga luha mula sa mata niya. Fuck. Now what was he going to do? Win did not believe in marriage but he knew that Bright did. He didn’t have to ask him to figure it out. Win could see it. Win could see the value Bright and his family had placed on marriage and family.
Bright’s parents had been married for 16 years before Bright’s father had gotten sick but even till this very day, Bright’s mother still adored her husband. Bright always believed that it was because even in death, they never parted. He said they were soulmates, just like him and Win. Through their 11 years together, 8 of which where they’d been dating, Win couldn’t find the courage to tell him that he didn’t ever see himself getting married. Win felt his heart twist every time he watched Bright cry at weddings, stare longingly at married couples and share his sentiments about what he wanted in the future… He knows how much Bright wants this and Win couldn’t even fathom the look Bright will give him when he finds out the truth.
Kung ayaw mong pakawalan
Ang galit na nasimulan
Paano ka tatayo?
Pa'nong bigat maglalaho
May paglaya sa pagsuko
He was also terrified that this would be Bright’s deal breaker because that is what it was to many people. These were 2 very different directions they wanted to go with. Two very different pages. Would Bright still be willing to spend the rest of his life with Win even without marriage? If marriage is what Bright really wanted, could Win even ask this of him? Could he ask him to give up his dream so they could be together? Win’s gut clenched at the thought of hurting Bright.
But more than that, he was terrified of asking him to settle for something less than what he deserved and Win truly believed that Bright deserved the world.
“Soulmate!”
Nagulat si Win sa tawag ng kasintahan at agad na tinabi ang kahon na hawak niya habang nagpupunas ng luha. “Eto na!” Sagot niya dahil alam niyang magaalala si Bright kung di siya sumasagot at ang tagal na niyang nawawala.
Habang pababa si Win ng hagdan, pabigat ng pabigat yung puso niya. How could he tell Bright without hurting him or their relationship?
“There you are. Nakahanda na yung pagkain. Inaantay lang kita. Did you find my phone?” Bright grinned at him as Win walked into their living room in a daze. He immediately spotted the look on Win’s face at agad na nagalala. “What’s wrong? Come here.” He invited, shifting slightly to the side to make room for Win, even lifting up the blanket he had over himself.
Win blinked away the tears in his eyes and crawled his way up to his boyfriend who was now lying on their couch. Imbis na tumabi lang sa kanya, inusog niya ang kasintahan para maayos na siyang nakahiga at ipinatong ang katawan niya dito. Hindi naman nagulat si Bright sa ginawa ni Win at ipinulupot na lang ang mga bisig niya dito.
“What’s wrong, soulmate?”
Win sniffled as he tucked his face into Bright’s neck, his fingers running down the soft fabric of the apron Bright was still wearing. “I love you, soulmate. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Just not married.
And Win desperately prayed that those words would be enough to make Bright stay even when they wanted two different things.
Bright hummed as he ran his fingers through Win’s dark locks, even placing a gentle kiss at the top of them. “I love you more.”
“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me too?” Win was terrified to hear his answer, but he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. He had to know for sure.
Bright pushed Win’s face upwards and met his eyes, the hand stroking his hair paused at the nape of his neck. “Of course, Metawin. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Win almost teared up at his words, he immediately tucked his face back into Bright’s neck and exhaled. “Then I’m okay. Your word is all I need.” This had to be enough. Please let it be enough.
Pahilumin, mga sugat
'Di ikaw ang iyong nakaraan
Pahilumin, mga sugat
Malayo pa ang 'yong patutunguhan
Win had been acting weird through the last week. He asked him multiple times and he would just say something about work. Every time Bright got on his knees for anything, Win would start breaking out into cold sweat. And not the good kind of sweat, by the way.
One time, Win even started running away when all Bright really wanted to do was tie his shoelaces. Bright was confused at first, pero di naman kasi siya bobo at kilala niya si Win.
He knew something was wrong.
That night, Bright didn’t fall asleep first like he usually did. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his lover and waited as his breathing evened out to indicate he was fast asleep. He held him for a few extra minutes, watching as the moonlight touched Win’s perfect skin. He skimmed his eyes greedily over his boyfriend’s features, his eyes taking its sweet time on the scar on his eyebrow and the curve of Win’s lips.
Beautiful. That’s what his soulmate is.
God, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for this man.
“I love you.” He mumbled against Win’s eyebrow, pressing a gentle kiss before carefully untangling himself from Win’s arms. He then bent down to grab his bag from under the bed and pulled out what he’d been thinking of all night. He took the small box and walked to the next room. Tumayo siya sa tabi ng bintana upang makita ang kahon kahit madilim na.
Bright flipped the box in his hand and propped it open with one hand. Napabuntong hininga siya as he watched the ring glint in the moonlight. The weight of the small red box in Bright’s hand was starting to feel heavier. He’d been holding onto this box for the last year, waiting for the perfect moment to ask Win.
But he never could find it.
Bright didn’t want to put Win on the spot without knowing for sure that this was something he was ready for. However, Win never gave any kind of indication that it was and that scared Bright because more than anything, he wanted to marry Win. Bata pa lang siya pinangarap niya nang mahanap ang pagmamahal na meron ang mga magulang niya. Nangako pa siya sa Papa niya bago ito mawala na pag nahanap niya na ang taong mamahalin niya habang buhay ay sisiguraduhin niyang magiging kasing saya nila ang kinalakihang pamilya ni Bright.
At simula nang makatabi niya ng upuan si Win, alam na niya. Simula nung sinalubong nila ang nararamdaman ng isa’t isa, sigurado na siya. Si Win ang araw-araw niya. Si Win na talaga ang panghabambuhay niya.
Pero hindi pa siya sigurado kung handa na ba talaga si Win… Bright knew that marriage is a huge commitment at hindi naman siya nagmamadali. He just wanted to make sure na parehas sila ng gustong patunguhan ni Win. Siguro naman diba? Hindi naman siguro sila tatagal ng walong taon kung di rin sila papunta doon, hindi ba? He was absolutely sure that Win loves him. He even said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him too right? Didn’t that mean the same thing? Maybe that was the sign?
“Soulmate?” Bright froze from where he was standing, Win’s voice coming from behind him. “Ba’t bumangon ka? Malakas ba yung hilik ko? What are you--”
Win’s eyes glanced down at the box Bright was holding and back to Bright’s equally shocked face. They both froze, one waiting for the other to speak up first.
To Bright, there was no use in hiding it anymore. It was now or never.
Tuluyan na ngang humarap si Bright sa kasintahan, hawak hawak ang kahon sa mga kamay niyang nanginginig. “Soulmate, this is--”
“Pagod ako, soulmate. Come back to bed when you’re ready okay?” Tipid lang siyang nginitian ni Win at chaka dali-daling bumalik muli sa kwarto nila.
Bright really wasn’t sure what he was expecting out of Win. But that certainly wasn’t it.
He knew right then and there that there was a hard conversation awaiting them.
-
Lahat na ata ng klaseng pangiiwas ay ginawa na ni Win. He would even wake up at the crack of dawn para lang mauna siya kay Bright magising at anong oras na rin siyang umuuwi para di sila mag-abot na gising. Kung ano-ano na ngang excuse ang binitawan niya kay Bright sa telepono kesyo may kaso siya na dapat aralin, kliyenteng kailangan kausapin, o kaibigang hinahanap siya. Pagod na pagod na nga ang katawan niya sa kawalan ng tulog at pagmamadaling umiwas.
Pero mas pagod ang puso niyang pakinggan ang nagmamakaawang boses ni Bright kada-takbuhan niya ito. He couldn’t even look at him in his sleep without feeling extreme guilt kasi alam niya naman nasasaktan niya ang mahal niya. Hindi niya lang kasi alam kung paano iibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ni Bright… he knew that it would only get worse once na nagusap na sila and Win could not even stomach the thought of hurting Bright more than he already has.
Kaya laking gulat niya nang umuwi siya ng alas dos ng madaling araw at gising pa si Bright. Before Win could even turn on his heels, Bright’s warm hand already encircled around his wrist. Firm but not enough to hurt him.
“Win, stop. Hanggang kelan ka ba iiwas?”
Win only hesitated before he turned to face Bright who looked just as exhausted as he felt. They both probably had matching rings under their eyes.
“You saw the ring, didn’t you? That night when you woke up in the middle of the night and I was holding it? That’s why you’re avoiding me. Why didn’t you say anything? Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Bright…”
“Tell me what’s wrong please… Just tell me and I’ll fix it.”
Kung ayaw mong simulang
Patawarin ang nakaraan
Paano ka lalayo?
Paano ka tatayo?
Ang paglaya'y naghihintay sa'yo
Hindi kumibo si Win. He couldn’t even meet Bright’s eyes.
“Hindi ka pa ba ready? Iyon ba ang gumugulo sa isip mo? Kaya ko naman mag-antay, soulmate. Di naman kita minamadali--”
“No, Bright... please...” It killed Win inside to know that Bright wasn’t even mad at him, that here he is still being so understanding of him and Win still had no choice but to break his heart. No matter how understanding he was, Win wasn’t ready to give him what he deserved. He didn’t even think he would ever be ready.
“Soulmate… sabihin mo lang sakin at maghihintay ako kahit gaano katagal--”
“Wala akong balak magpakasal kahit kelan, Bright.”
Bright recoiled as if he’d been burned. He looked at Win with a gaze that made Win feel like his heart was physically splitting into two. He looked so hurt. “Bakit? Is it me? Hindi ka ba sigurado sakin? Hindi mo na ba ako mahal?”
In a state of panic, Win made a rush to grab both of Bright’s cheeks before he could pull away completely. “No. No, Bright! Mahal kita! It’s never a question of whether I love you or not. It’s me! This is all me!”
Bright desperately searched his eyes, confusion so clear in them. “I don’t understand, Win…”
“I… I just.. I don’t believe in marriage. I want to be with you but on my own terms. I want to stay together because I love you, because I chose to. Not because a piece of paper tells me I need to stay with you. I want to feel like you’re with me because you choose me everyday, hindi yung andito ka dahil may pinirmahan tayong papel na nagsasabi satin na hindi tayo pwede maghiwalay…”
“Pero kung mahal mo naman ako, why does it matter? Papel lang ‘yon, Win. Wala namang magbabago satin. Pipiliin parin naman kita araw-araw dahil mahal kita and not for any other reason.” Bright told him as he placed both his hands on the nape of Win’s neck, hoping his eyes could convey that he meant what he was saying.
“It matters to me…You know about my parents, Bright. You know what happened with their marriage diba?”
“But we’re not your parents, Win. We are nothing like your parents. I know they hurt you but I wouldn’t do that to you, Win.”
“But what if we do end up like them? Pano kung balang araw, di mo na rin ako mahal? Ayokong mapilitan ka lang na manatili sa tabi ko! I don’t ever want that to be the only reason kung bakit andito ka pa sa tabi ko. Besides, we’re already perfect the way we are. We’re happy right now aren’t we? Why do we have to complicate it?”
“So then what’s the point of being together kung di rin tayo magpapakasal?”
“Isn’t the point of us being together is because we love each other. Isn’t that enough? Hindi pa ba enough yung binibigay ko ngayon, yung meron tayo ngayon?”
“That’s not fair, Win. I never said that what we have now is not enough.”
“Then if it’s enough, why ask for more?”
“Win…”
“Bright… I just… I can’t--I can’t do it. I’m not going to change my mind. That’s it.”
Win watched as tears formed in Bright’s eyes, light slowly draining from his once such bright eyes. Slowly, Bright’s hands which were still resting on Win’s nape fell to his sides.
“So ganon na lang? Eh pano if I don’t change my mind either?”
All the blood drained from Win’s face. Win tried to desperately hold onto both of Bright’s cheeks but Bright held onto his wrists and pulled it away from his face.
“Soulmate…” Hindi na napigilan ni Win ang pagtulo ng luha niya. Bright never pulled away from his touch and Win couldn’t help but feel that maybe Bright was pulling away from much more than just his hold.
“I just… I just need to think.” Bright spared him no glance as he went out the front door.
Before the door even swung close, Win was already fighting to choke down the sobs that escaped his lips.
Pahilumin, mga sugat
'Di ikaw ang iyong nakaraan
Pahilumin, mga sugat
Malayo pa ang 'yong patutunguhan
It took Bright leaving for Win to realize that he would rather endure his fears than to ever face the possibility of losing Bright forever.
He was terrified of what marriage could do to his relationship to Bright in the future but he was more terrified at the thought of having to face his future without Bright. Just having to think about living his life without him by his side felt like the air was being punched out of his lungs. Deep down, he knew that this is not the right reason for any person to get married but he was just so desperate to keep Bright in his life that he would give anything to keep him in his life. Whatever the cost, he would give.
Bright just needed to come back so he could tell him this.
Win wrung his hands, walked back and forth in their living room and continuously wiped at the tears escaping his eyes as he waited for Bright to come back.
He just hoped he wasn’t too late.
The darkness of the early morning was gone and replaced by the sun beating down brightly on the ground when Win heard the front door click open. Napatayo agad siya sa kinauupuan niya.
“Bright…”
“We should talk.”
“I don’t want to break up!” Panguna ni Win, tuloy tuloy parin ang tulo ng luha niya.
Bright cocked his head to the side. “Neither do I. Who said anything about wanting to break up?”
“But-but you want to get married and I don’t...”
Napabuntong hininga si Bright bago dahan-dahang lumapit sa harapan ni Win at sinimulang punasan ang luhang tumutulo mula sa mga mata niya. He then started to pat his head, caressing his hair just like he did whenever WIn cried in college.
“Yes I do want to get married but more than that, I want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you...and we can still do that in whatever terms you want us to. We don’t need to be married to spend the rest of our lives together.”
Win gaped at him. “You’d-you’d give up marriage for me?”
“As long as you want me, soulmate… I’m all yours. In whatever way you want me, take me. I just want to be with you.”
It was almost like Win was dreaming, he cupped Bright’s cheek with one hand and searched his eyes before answering, “Forever and in every single lifetime. That’s how I want you.”
“Forever then.” Bright assured him as he put his palm over the hand that Win used to hold his cheek.
“It’s okay even if we’re not married?”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to spend the rest of my life with you, Win. If this is how you want it, us the way we are now forever, hindi naman na ko lugi. As long as I get to spend forever with you, I’ll do whatever you want to do. Wala akong hindi kaya ibigay para sayo, Win. Ganon kita kamahal.”
Relief and an overwhelming amount of love for Bright washed through Win. Hindi niya na napigilan ang sarili niya kundi halikan si Bright. With the touch of their lips, Win hoped he could convey all that he felt for this man in his arms.
How scared he was to lose him
How sorry he was for what happened
How much he loved him
“I love you so much, Bright. I was so scared you were going to leave me that I would have agreed to marry you if you really insisted.”
Bright shook his head, keeping his face so close to Win that his lips could almost brush against his again. “No, soulmate. I’m sorry for making you cry earlier, soulmate. I’m sorry for what I said. Seeing the hurt on your face? I regretted them the moment I said them. But I promise you, I would never force you into anything you don’t want to do… and frankly, I can’t stomach the thought of you only agreeing to marry me because you were scared and not because you love me. That’s not how I want us to be together. ”
“I hope you don’t think that this means that I love you any less, Bright. I do love you. I love you so so much that it hurts to even think about hurting you. It kills me that I can’t give you what you want but… but I can’t do it. When I think of my parents’ marriage, I feel so terrified that it could happen to us too. I’m so stupid, alam ko naman na we’re not them. Alam ko naman na mahal mo ko and that you deserve better but I… I can’t--” Win choked down another sob.
Bright immediately put his arms around him, holding him tight like an anchor keeping him safe from the treacherous waves that wanted to sweep him away. Win clutched onto him just as tightly. “Soulmate, shhhhh. I understand okay? After everything that happened to you, what you feel is valid okay? Hindi ka stupid. I’m sorry that they hurt you. I’m sorry that you feel this way and I’m sorry that you felt like it was hard for you to tell me the truth. Oo. Aaminin ko, nasaktan ako but nakikita ko naman kung saan ka nanggagaling. I just needed to get away for a bit to clear my head and think this through. Alam mo ba kung anong narealize ko nung naglakad-lakad ako? I realized that I meant what I said when we started dating and I still mean it till this day. Naalala mo ba yung sinabi ko noon? I’ll have you in any way you’d like to give and kung eto yon, tatanggapin ko ng buong puso. I just want you as you are.”
“Just meet me halfway.” Win recited Bright’s very same words 8 years ago, whispering it softly to himself as he tucked his face into Bright’s neck. I’ll find a way to meet you halfway, soulmate. I promise. Antay ka lang.
Pahilumin, mga sugat
'Di ikaw ang iyong nakaraan
Pahilumin, mga sugat
Malayo pa ang 'yong patutunguhan
Ever since their big fight, Bright had never brought up the topic again but that didn’t mean Win had stopped thinking about it. In fact, he had put a lot of thought into it and he’d been meaning to bring it up to Bright. One night they sat in bed together. Win sat comfortably between Bright’s legs, the guitar resting on Win’s lap but it was Bright who was playing it. Win was actually squished between Bright’s guitar and Bright’s warm body behind him but he had no complaints. Instead, he thoughtfully listened to the strums of his lover’s guitar as he processed his own thoughts.
“Soulmate…”
“Hm?” Win felt Bright’s lips brush the side of his head as he spoke.
“Do you think you can recommend me to a psychologist?”
Bright had paused in the middle of strumming his guitar to glance at his boyfriend. “I...of course. But why? Are you okay?”
Win had only cocked his head to the side and continued, “Gusto ko nga sana ikaw na lang but there’s a conflict of interest there so hindi pwede. So I can just settle for someone you trust. Also, do you think my parents would agree to come with me to therapy?”
“We can always ask? But why are you…?”
“I want to try to talk to a professional about my fears. I want to try to get over them.” Nabanggit na rin ito ni Bright in passing bago pa man sila mag-away pero hindi naman niya pinilit si Win at hinayaan ito na mag-desisyon para sa sarili niya. Hindi rin naman naisip ni Win na kailangan niya ito dati. Ngunit simula nung malaking away nila ni Bright, nagbasa-basa na si Win tungkol dito at napagdesisyunan niya that maybe he did need a professional’s help to sort through his thoughts.
Binaba na ni Bright ang gitara niya sa kama at pinaharap si Win sa kanya. “You mean…? Win, if this is because of me, you don’t have to. I’m happy as long as you are--”
“But I still want to try. I-I’m making no promises but….I want to do this, soulmate. Let me do this for us. You’ve sacrificed so much to be with me… I can’t just sit around and do nothing. It takes two people to make this relationship work. Let me try. ”
“Deciding to do therapy is a good idea, soulmate, but you don’t have to do it for anyone but yourself. It doesn’t have to be for me. Ako naman, I’m going to stay by your side no matter what. A lifetime with you is already more than what I could ever ask for.”
“I know that and I am doing this for myself too. I want to let this go. I can’t let my past keep holding me back from my future. I want to move forward with my life… I want to move forward with you.”
Bright searched his eyes and saw nothing but determination in them. He felt a surge of pride push through him. It was never easy to choose to seek help. This was something that took a lot of courage to do. His love was being brave, Win was ready and Bright was going to support him 100%. “Okay. I’ll come with you. We can do it together.”
Win smiled at his boyfriend before leaning in to place a soft but tender kiss on his lips.
“Okay. Let’s do this.”