Chapter Text
Season One
Freddie hated Sam Puckett. All he wanted to do was be in love with Carly as much as he pleased, but it was a little too hard to do if the blonde-headed demon was always with her. God, it was like he couldn’t even get a word in without her teasing him! What did he ever do to her anyways?
It was right around the Ridgeway talent show when he started to have to be around Sam more often, because it was the reason why Carly even let him through the door of her apartment that afternoon, editing the clips they had filmed. Before that, he always found some random excuse to try and talk to her at school, but it was pretty difficult when he had to get past that crazy, giant five-foot-tall blonde that always seemed to be in the way. He couldn’t complain anymore though, not even if it meant having to see Sam so much, because Carly was so pretty, with her brown hair and brown eyes and bright smile. All he noticed about Sam was how lazy she was, sitting there on the couch and staring at the TV. He couldn’t even look at her for too long, because if she caught him, she’d personally poke his eyes out so he wouldn’t be able to anymore.
Don’t even get him started on that Jake idiot from school that Carly was obsessed with. So what, he has blonde hair? So what, he’s charming, and tall, and he’s got a nice smile, and he’s all “Hey, Carly, can I be on the show?” and she’s all “Sure, Jake, whatever you want, Jake.” What’s so great about Jake anyway? His name should be Rake, as in he should rake his hair or something, uh… yeah. You know, because it’s… messy. Whatever. Freddie couldn’t help but be giddy with happiness when Jake started to sing. He knew there had to be something wrong with him! He wasn’t going to help fix his voice at first—after all, maybe this was karma for stealing Carly from him—but it earned him a kiss on the nose from her anyways. So maybe Jake wasn’t all that bad.
The first time a girl ever showed any interest in him was when Valerie called into the show. He had gotten excited, and he had to admit his heartbeat shot up, wondering if Carly would get jealous. This was his chance to show her that he wasn’t hers for the taking all the time! Soon, he’d get swept up in some other girl’s arms, and Carly would have to fight for his love (not that he’d actually make her do that, of course). But then—“Uh, Valerie, you might wanna check your webcam and your brain ‘cause I’m pretty sure one of them’s malfunctioning.” All he could do was glare at Sam, knowing Carly was probably laughing at the joke behind him. There was his chance, and Sam had to go and ruin it.
He couldn’t escape her anywhere. “Take the girl out, kiss her, then step back before she pukes.” He frowned at Sam, then glanced at Carly to see her reaction. Carly didn’t think kissing him was that repulsive, did she? Oh my god, Sam probably told her those lies all the time! Sam had probably already told Carly all the reasons she should never return his feelings. Girls did that all the time, didn’t they? It was all Sam’s fault. That was why Carly wouldn’t give him a chance. It had to be.
So you couldn’t blame him when Sam started to like Freddie’s friend, Jonah, and he didn’t want to help set them up. She didn’t deserve his help! But Carly gave him those puppy dog eyes and her “Please? For me?” that he fell for every single time, and he did it anyways. Jonah turned out to be a creep anyways, and it was a good thing Sam didn’t end up with—uh, never mind.