Chapter Text
Mark wakes up at 6 sharp like any other day. He has breakfast and lets the dogs out. He goes on his phone and sees something about how using they can help normalize it. He decides he will do a bit of research later. He lets the dogs in and heads over to the gym. He works out for a good hour. He returns home and starts editing a video. He finishes the video and starts researching they/them and if it really does help normalize it. He finds that it does and figures he'll start small.
As he is making dinner, He asks Amy, "Hey, sweetie? I'm gonna be using he/they to help normalize it. I am just gonna start with the people around me though. Okay?" She says it's okay and they both dig in when Mark is finished cooking.
Mark calls Ethan and tells him, "Let's start that year-long project we were planning." All three of them head out and get the suits for the first video. Ethan starts writing ideas for more videos, and Mark ensures lore is properly established throughout the videos. Everyone heads home and goes to bed. Amy wakes up first and makes breakfast.
Mark wakes up later and as they head downstairs he hears, "Yeah Ethan, that sounds like a great idea. I bet they would love it. I am sure Mark will really appreciate it." Their head fills with a warm sense of joy. He can't help but smile.
They are fully downstairs and Amy calls out, "Hey, baby. Come join me." Mark nods and sits down to start eating. They both dig in and Mark takes care of the dishes. Ethan knocks on the door and Mark gets it.
Ethan says, "Hey man, how you doin'?"
Mark's smile fades a bit, but he responds, "Doing good. How you doing, dude?" Ethan starts rambling about how his day has been so far.
Mark says, "Let's film the first four videos for Unus Annus. The first video will be explaining it, but the second video will be "Cooking with Sex Toys". It will be hilarious. The third and fourth will just deal with Neti Pots and hot dogs." Mark and Ethan change into their suits. They film the first video and change back into normal clothes. Mark grabs his vlogging camera and they head over to a sex-toy shop. They film (kinda) as they pick up the supplies. They head back and set up. They manage to not burn the house down and make food. They had decided to pick up a gag for a funny bit and after Mark had the gag put on someone stared in through the window. The person came around and knocked on the door. When Mark answered they didn't say a god-damn thing, just stared him down.
Mark sits back down and Ethan asks, "How did the food taste?"
"They're good, yeah. I like them, I think. I couldn't really taste.", Mark responds as he scoops up some pancake. Both Mark and Ethan decide to change clothes to film the next two videos. They set up the Neti Pots and film what they want for that one. Then, the monstrous mistake that was the hot dog eating contest. They barely make a dent in the tower of hot dogs by the end of the 10 minutes. Ethan shoved like twelve hot dogs in his mouth at once. It was gross. They wrap everything up and finish filming shortly after.
They clean up and Ethan says, "Come on Mark. I have a surprise for you. We have to go somewhere for it." Mark tilts his head but agrees. Ethan drives to the surprise.
When they get there, he says, "I got all of us a 90-minute session in the sensory deprivation tank. As well as, a 30-minute session in the sauna. I specifically got Mark and Mark only a 40-minute massage session. So, let's head on in." They all enjoy the sauna together first. Then, Mark goes to the massage room. He gets there and sees that you have to fill out a chart and that you can request a massage therapist of a certain gender. He fills out the chart and thinks about if he should request a massage therapist of a certain gender. His thought process goes, "I would be more comfortable with a female or nonbinary therapist. But, there really is no reason I can't have a male therapist. It's not like I'm not a guy. I am. Aren't I? Of course, I am, but I am gonna request a female or nonbinary massage therapist. The entire purpose of heading here is to relax. I should choose the option I am most comfortable with. It's fine."
He hands the filled-out form to the awaiting massage therapist who reads it over and says, "Ok, We have a massage therapist that is just right for you. They're nonbinary. They commonly service people of all genders. They are especially good at helping with stomach and back pain. Their room is down one door to the right. I hope you have an enjoyable massage, Mr. Fischbach." Mark is bugged about being called mister as they make their way to the room. He enters the room and a person with handsome lavender hair introduces themself.
They say, "Hi. My name is Sage. I assume you are Mark, correct?"
Mark nods and says, "Yep, that's me." Sage tells him their plans and what each motion does. He lays down and relaxes as Sage helps relieve the pain in his bones. Sage makes sure to get every tender or knotted spot.
They finish the massage and tell Mark, "Thanks, for being such a great client. Some people think of nonbinary people as women lite and it has caused problems when I don't look like they expected."
Mark says, "I'm so sorry. People can be so awful sometimes. I really hope that doesn't make you quit."
Sage nods and says, "Oh, I saw your friends head over to the float tank just now. I would go join them if I were you." Mark nods and heads over to the float tank. He joins Ethan and Amy and enjoys not having any pressure on his joints. They finish floating and rinse off. Then, they all head home. Mark enters his and Amy's shared room. They stare at Amy's vanity full of make-up. He gets a little flutter in his chest. He reasons it's just cause Amy is the one who uses it typically. They continue to stare it down. He sits down and looks at the variety of potential options. He grabs a lipstick and puts it on. They brush on some blush and eye-shadow. Mark looks at himself in the mirror. They feel like they are seeing themself for the first time. They feel pretty and handsome. They feel amazing. Mark looks back in the mirror and sees Amy in the doorway.
He says," I uh wanted to experiment with your make-up. I noticed it and I remembered I haven't genuinely tried make-up." Amy moves over to Mark and kisses them on the forehead.
She says, "You look amazing. You did really well for your first real try at make-up. Here, just let me clean it up a bit." Amy adds highlights and neatens it up. Mark looks in the mirror again and feels like an entirely different person. He doesn't even know if it's a good or bad thing. All he knows is that he is filled with pure joy so he guesses it's a good thing. They look back at Amy and start to feel embarrassed. They feel ashamed for being so happy about make-up.
He thinks, "This is stupid. I'm a man. But, men can like make-up. Then, why do I feel so weird? I shouldn't be so fucking happy about this. But, I am. Why? I am a man, right? Then why does this fill me with a sense of bliss? No. This is stupid. I'm being stupid. I'm tired. I should wipe this off and go to bed. I'm so du-" Amy breaks him out of his thoughts with a hug. They embrace Amy back and realize they are crying. He buries his face into Amy.
Amy rubs his back and asks, "Baby, what's wrong?" Mark starts crying and holds onto Amy tighter. He doesn't respond and gets up a few minutes later. He looks at the mirror in the bathroom and sees smudged make-up, tear tracks, red puffy eyes, and a dripping nose. In short, an emotional mess. They feel so horrid. They don't know why. He pushes it down and ignores it for the night. When he exits the bathroom Amy is in their room staring at him so caringly, so worried, so soft. He plops into the bed and curls up under the covers. He falls asleep quickly due to how upset he is. Mark wakes up first and takes the dogs for a walk. They head back in and decide to clean themself up a bit. He takes a shower and when he goes to change he feels himself staring at the vanity again. By that time Amy was downstairs, so he decided it would be fine to put a bit of makeup on. They move over to the chair and pick up a lipstick. They carefully outline their lips and brush on some eye shadow. They put on a bit of blush and try to do a few highlights. When he finishes he looks in the mirror and the same swirl of confusing emotions rises again. They stare in the mirror and eventually work up the courage to head downstairs.
Amy notices Mark coming downstairs and says, "You put on make-up. It looks pretty. You did a good job." Mark chuckles and says, "Thanks, I tried my best. I am gonna go edit." He enters his office and sits down. They sit down and see their reflection on the screen of their computer. Their face starts to flush as they get embarrassed again. They ignore it and turn on their computer to start working. They start cutting out and inputting clips. He gets up and starts to head to the kitchen to get a snack after a little while. As he turns the corner he sees his reflection in the mirror on the wall and all the feelings he has been trying to push down come back ten-fold. He starts to tear up and moves to inspect it closer. He stands in front of the mirror tracing his face with his fingers as he tries to figure out what's going on and why he feels this way. He realizes this feeling is the same one he felt when Amy first called him "They".
He admits, "There must be some kind of connection, but what?"
He thinks, "What is the connection? What is it? Make-up, they, What's similar between the two? Oh. Uh, oh. What if it's a gender thing? Um, maybe, no, yeah, possibly? No, that can't be the connection. I am a guy, a man. I am allowed to like make-up. I am allowed to like being called they. The connection can't be a gender connection. I am a man. I'm sure about it, right? Yes. Yes, I am very sure about that. I'm a macho dude, a bro, a masculine manly man." He shakes his head to get the thought that it could even possibly be a gender thing out and pushes everything down as far as it can go. He heads to the kitchen and grabs a few granola bars to bring back to his office. He ignores the mirror in the hallway and gets working again the second he sits down in his office. He finishes working and heads to the bathroom. They go to wash off their face and look in the mirror when it hits them like a speeding semi-trailer it truly could be a gender thing. He could be just they and not he at all.
"Fuck, how could I suddenly be so uncomfortable with something I've identified with my whole life? Why am I so uncomfortable with he? Why do I get a sense of glee when I get called they or do typically feminine things? On top of that, I still get the same sense from typically masculine things, but I get uncomfy when people call me a man, why? And, I don't want to be called a woman either. It doesn't make sense. Why is he suddenly an ill-fitting glove? I've always used he. Why is it that he is a punch to the gut? Why? Why is it that one word is all it took to break my spirit? One fucking word! I am so pathetic. He. Why do I have such a problem with he? That's what I am, isn't it?" They start breaking down and crying as they realize it is a gender thing. Amy hears and comes in to comfort them. She wraps Mark in a big hug. They cling on tightly as if their life depends on it.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..."
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"I-. I don't know."
"That's okay. Do you want to try to talk about it or?"
Mark shakes his head and continues to hug Amy. Amy traces circles on his back and holds him close.
A few minutes later she asks, "Are you okay enough to explain now or do you need some time to figure the cause of this out?"
"I think I need some time to figure it out."